We told our son about homosexuality last night

[Dixon Carter Lee]

He's seven. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. Something about marriage came up, and I made a joke about two characters getting married, and both characters were men. It wasn't a gay reference, just a joke about two incompatible cartoon characters or something. Anyway, he says, "They can't get married because they're both men."

I looked at my wife with a "should we?" expression on my face. We decided he was old enough, and began to bluster through a mine field of exposition about love and commitmment and genes and men and women and homosexuality and, hell, we had to stop ourselves after a while because I knew we were over-explaining. But it was fine. I think he just took it in, and didn't really have too many questions, and since we weren't treating it as a big deal, he didn't either.

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

 

[perks]

that won't care? no.

unless you're getting rid of dogma too.

 

[sunstruck]

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

God I hope so. That is my dream, not just for homosexuality but for all minorities. A generation that doesn't care about differences.

We're getting closer. I think.

 

[oceanbaby28]

Thumbs Up!

He's seven. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. Something about marriage came up, and I made a joke about two characters getting married, and both characters were men. It wasn't a gay reference, just a joke about two incompatible cartoon characters or something. Anyway, he says, "They can't get married because they're both men."

I looked at my wife with a "should we?" expression on my face. We decided he was old enough, and began to bluster through a mine field of exposition about love and commitmment and genes and men and women and homosexuality and, hell, we had to stop ourselves after a while because I knew we were over-explaining. But it was fine. I think he just took it in, and didn't really have too many questions, and since we weren't treating it as a big deal, he didn't either.

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

Now... mind coming to my house and doing the same for my 14 yr old and 5 yr old? *smile*

Seriously, that was great and hope to do the same with mine. I've had a bit of a talk with my 14 yr old... Wasn't the easiest thing in the world but I squirmed my way through it. *grin*

 

[sunstruck]

that won't care? no.

unless you're getting rid of dogma too.

Oh wouldn't that be wonderful!

 

[ksmybuttons]

Wow. That is a hard one. We haven't done that one yet. We have just touched on heterosexual. I have more gay and lesbian people in my life than my husband does, but we don't say "there are John and Jane, they have sex together..." or there are Patrick and Gerald, they have sex together..." It is so difficult when you start to define people by their sexual preferences.

 

[sunstruck]

Wow. That is a hard one. We haven't done that one yet. We have just touched on heterosexual. I have more gay and lesbian people in my life than my husband does, but we don't say "there are John and Jane, they have sex together..." or there are Patrick and Gerald, they have sex together..." It is so difficult when you start to define people by their sexual preferences.

You don't have to if it's something they are exposed to regularly. One of my brothers is gay and none of my 11 neices and nephews have required any real explanation. Once one of them asked if my brother and his partner were married and we just said yes (they are, we went to Hawaii, it was gorgeous). That was all.

I think you can go to far explaining any kind of sexuality to kids. Just remember it's not about mechanics, it's about love and commitment. If they know that, that part of a gay relationship is no different than what is between mom and dad, (or mom and boyfriend or whatever) they'll get it.

My oldest nephew is 11. My sister-in-law overheard one of his friends ask if his uncle was a fag once, he said "No, he's gay. Get a clue".

 

[Laurel]

I was talking to a friend with kids. She's very educated and aware, and wants to make sure her kids grow up without limits of bigotry, etc. She's very concerned that they grow up knowing that gays are the same as everyone else. She asked me when I thought she should explain homosexuality to them. My parenting-experience-less answer was, "When they ask." It'll come up in conversation, like it did in Dixon's house. Then, you take the opportunity to tell them.

Otherwise...ANY sexuality is not something kids need to know about until they're ready. When they have questions, they'll ask. If you're a good parent, you'll be there to answer them as directly and accurately as you can.

 

[Ishmael]

He's seven. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. Something about marriage came up, and I made a joke about two characters getting married, and both characters were men. It wasn't a gay reference, just a joke about two incompatible cartoon characters or something. Anyway, he says, "They can't get married because they're both men."

I looked at my wife with a "should we?" expression on my face. We decided he was old enough, and began to bluster through a mine field of exposition about love and commitmment and genes and men and women and homosexuality and, hell, we had to stop ourselves after a while because I knew we were over-explaining. But it was fine. I think he just took it in, and didn't really have too many questions, and since we weren't treating it as a big deal, he didn't either.

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

Went through the same thing with my sons at about the same age. 6 for the younger and 9 for the older. Little different scenario. My wife and I had a couple of gay friends. One male and the other female. They were both over to the house one evening and discussing the subject with each other. The boys were around and it was obvious that most of this was going way over their heads. Soooooo, we asked our friends to explain it to them from their own point of view. Worked out pretty well actually. My wife and I were able to sit down and explain our point of view at the same time.

The boys knew learned that my wife and I didn't necessarily approve of our friends life style. But they also learned that that is not an obstacle to friendship and that just because you don't approve of something is not necessarily a reason to belittle or castigate. They learned that it's no different than the fact that some people like to jump out of perfectly good airplanes while others shudder at the thought.

Ishmael

 

[FallenSeraph]

ANY sexuality is not something kids need to know about until they're ready. When they have questions, they'll ask. If you're a good parent, you'll be there to answer them as directly and accurately as you can.

I think that best summarizes this. You can't let kids find out about it by themselves yet, too much stereotypes and prejudice still floating around amongst people. Until we live in a society in which straight people don't give a hoot about gays, we still have to educate children when their ready, even if they are too nervous to ask.

 

[Guest]

Homophobia was rife in the playgrounds when i was a nipper, and things haven't changed. My nephew (very young he is too) recently said someone was "gay". I was quite shocked really. My niece (younger still) thinks lesbianism is two girls holding hands. It's utterly sick. And it's caused by ignorance.

When I was a nipper, it was the in-thing to call people "spastics" if they showed some sign of mental or physical unworthyness. My mother used to work in a home for spastics, and I was friends with almost all of them. I knew that they were disabled and had to be looked after, but I also knew the vast majority were of completely sound mind. When my classmates called one another "spaz" I got very upset. But there it is. I told them all to fuck off, lol, harsh words from a young lad.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I never understood why human sexuality was an expositionary minefield. I had my talk with the Bratchild a yearish ago. He asked, I answered. He's too young for hormones to be involved so explaining the emotional side of the issue was a bit difficult, but he watches the discovery channel. He's known about mating for years and just didn't know the mechanics.

 

[Spinaroonie]

Why do you leave out the most important part?

What two cartoon characters where they?

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

Maybe here and in Europe. They'll be rasied just in time to be over run by a bunch of religious fanatics who cant even admit to themselves that thier penis has uses other than urination.

 

[TN_Vixen]

Hey Dixon

I had to talk to my son about homosexuality at about the same age. Despite the fact that my best friend (which right now is questionable considering my degree of disloyalty) is gay, the thing that made him ask was him watching an episode of "Will and Grace".

So, I went into detail far enough to say that some men like men like men like women.

At first he said "Ewwwwwww!" and then after much more detailed conversation, he kinda shrugged his shoulders. I thought the same thing as you, that maybe he'll grow up with an open mind sans judgement, but.. well, there are his school buddies who think calling people "queers" is cool, and so that has to be diffused. Education is constant.

 

[MagicMan]

He's seven. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. Something about marriage came up, and I made a joke about two characters getting married, and both characters were men. It wasn't a gay reference, just a joke about two incompatible cartoon characters or something. Anyway, he says, "They can't get married because they're both men."

I looked at my wife with a "should we?" expression on my face. We decided he was old enough, and began to bluster through a mine field of exposition about love and commitmment and genes and men and women and homosexuality and, hell, we had to stop ourselves after a while because I knew we were over-explaining. But it was fine. I think he just took it in, and didn't really have too many questions, and since we weren't treating it as a big deal, he didn't either.

Think maybe we'll finally have a generation of straight men who won't care?

Hey DCL, when I saw the title of your thread I thought oh no surely not another one but reading what happened I say good on you mate. Well done...let's have more parents like this

 

[Sillyman]

My mother has always said if they are old enough to ask they are old enough for you to tell them.