We Take Care Of Our Own

[Belegon]

A moment to put something out there...

I've heard that an issue common to cyberspace may be making another appearance among us...

This is an open forum and meeting place and many of us have formed lasting relationships that exist outside of it due to our first encounters here. I treasure that. I am blessed to be among those whose very lives have been changed due to the people I have met here and in a very positive way.

Please, explore interactions with others and enjoy and celebrate those exchanges.

However...

This is not a hunting ground. If someone gives you an indication that they are uncomfortable with any of your attentions, please show them respect and move on. We all face rejection on occasion. It is a part of life, and this IS "real life" for many of us.

Be respectful. Do not force your attention on anyone. Do not attempt to exert a "right" to someone else's attention. Do not stalk.

'nuff said, I trust. It had better be.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

A moment to put something out there...

I've heard that an issue common to cyberspace may be making another appearance among us...

This is an open forum and meeting place and many of us have formed lasting relationships that exist outside of it due to our first encounters here. I treasure that. I am blessed to be among those whose very lives have been changed due to the people I have met here and in a very positive way.

Please, explore interactions with others and enjoy and celebrate those exchanges.

However...

This is not a hunting ground. If someone gives you an indication that they are uncomfortable with any of your attentions, please show them respect and move on. We all face rejection on occasion. It is a part of life, and this IS "real life" for many of us.

Be respectful. Do not force your attention on anyone. Do not attempt to exert a "right" to someone else's attention. Do not stalk.

'nuff said, I trust. It had better be.

Good words Bel. However, what's do be done about the crazies that read your post and think, "it's not me" or "she really likes it" .....?

 

[Belegon]

Good words Bel. However, what's to be done about the crazies that read your post and think, "it's not me" or "she really likes it" .....?

We are, by the nature of the environment, limited in our response. I can not take anyone behind a woodshed in cyberspace. And despite my shroud of gentility, I am not a pacifist.

I have learned, however, that in many cases the last thing such predators desire is attention of THIS sort. I am simply serving notice that other forms of attention do exist here.

 

[Liar]

Sounds fair. I wouldn't push myself upon anybody in "real" life either. I don't see why a digital meeting ground would be a carte blanche to be agressive, pushy and stalking. Common decency and respect applies. And that's that.


If anything, I seem to be failing in keeping in touch with the friends I make online, those who wouldn't mind the attention. I hope they know I still think about them.

 

[Alessia Brio]

It is difficult to ascertain, at times, where goodwill ends and where stalking begins. The predator will inevitably claim, "I was only being nice." while continuing to prey (or attempt to prey) on those perceived to be susceptible to its so-called charms.

Best, if feeling stalked, to simply stop replying to IMs, PMs, and emails. If threatened, save copies & turn them over to the appropriate authorities. Engaging in dialogue with a potential stalker only eggs it on.

 

[sophia jane]

You make a good point, Bel, and it's something that's been dealt with here before. I'm very sad that it has to be addressed again, though.

And also- how come no one ever stalks me!?!

 

[McKenna]

You make a good point, Bel, and it's something that's been dealt with here before. I'm very sad that it has to be addressed again, though.

And also- how come no one ever stalks me!?!

*stalk*

 

[Trombonus]

You make a good point, Bel, and it's something that's been dealt with here before. I'm very sad that it has to be addressed again, though.

And also- how come no one ever stalks me!?!

I know! Of course I enjoy the attention.

In all seriousness, I find fighting people who fling nasty comments around with humor often works wonders. They get off on knowing that they're getting on your nerves, so when you laugh at them and make them into a joke they often leave out of frustration. Kinda mean, but no worse than anything they said. Also ignoring them completely is highly effective. If no one had responded to this persons comments she probably would have stopped making them before they got out of hand.

 

[Trombonus]

*stalk*

Hi boss.

 

[McKenna]

Hi boss.

*stalk, stalk*

 

[Trombonus]

*stalk, stalk*

Hee hee, life just keeps on getting better and better.

 

[jushorny]

Very well said Belegon and something that should be repeated from time to time. I am still amazed at the friendships I have made here. I love to flirt, but also realize that some can take the flirting in a wrong way

 

[S-Des]

Very well said Belegon and something that should be repeated from time to time. I am still amazed at the friendships I have made here. I love to flirt, but also realize that some can take the flirting in a wrong way

Exactly. I probably miss out on some opportunities to flirt because I'm nervous about giving someone the wrong idea. It's so easy to get the wrong idea on-line (for anyone). I usually won't flirt until after I know someone. I'd rather miss out a little than have someone feel uncomfortable because of me.

 

[jushorny]

Exactly. I probably miss out on some opportunities to flirt because I'm nervous about giving someone the wrong idea. It's so easy to get the wrong idea on-line (for anyone). I usually won't flirt until after I know someone. I'd rather miss out a little than have someone feel uncomfortable because of me.

That's a good way to handle it. Although, I have to say, if I had done that then I would have not met a few very special people. So, I'm not sure there is a sure fire way, guess it depends on the people involved.

 

[MagicaPractica]

If someone gives you an indication that they are uncomfortable with any of your attentions, please show them respect and move on. We all face rejection on occasion. It is a part of life, and this IS "real life" for many of us.

Be respectful. Do not force your attention on anyone. Do not attempt to exert a "right" to someone else's attention. Do not stalk.

'nuff said, I trust. It had better be.

Just me, but I would prefer it if someone would come right out and say, "I'm uncomfortable" or "leave me alone." Simply not responding works well with me too. I missed what happened so this is just a personal note on how to get me to go away if I make anyone uncomfortable.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Exactly. I probably miss out on some opportunities to flirt because I'm nervous about giving someone the wrong idea. It's so easy to get the wrong idea on-line (for anyone). I usually won't flirt until after I know someone. I'd rather miss out a little than have someone feel uncomfortable because of me.

You can flirt with me anytime S-Des and I promise I won't take it seriously.

 

[S-Des]

You can flirt with me anytime S-Des and I promise I won't take it seriously.

I already have...btw, did you see that Kiten responded to your post in Sal's Sin Shack (the one about musicians and their fingers )?

 

[neonlyte]

It sucks - it's the bane of freedom, there is always someone ready to abuse it.

Anyone who has been on the receiving end of this kind of unwanted attention knows just how uncomfortable it can become, I suspect it has driven more people away than we imagine, or at least, to seek new anonymity (sp?)

Well said Bel, better to lay this in the open and trust people will think twice before making a nuisance of themselves.

 

[Trombonus]

I already have...btw, did you see that Kiten responded to your post in Sal's Sin Shack (the one about musicians and their fingers )?

Did someone call me?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I had an unwelcome suitor in another forum. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't interested in him, which he couldn't understand, since I didn't even know him.

I tried to point out that I didn't WANT to get to know him, because I'm not interested in having a relationship with a man who has kids from a previous marriage - which he had. He then asked if I was infertile and if that was the reason why I didn't like kids.

I finally had it and told him in plain english "Stop writing to me, I don't want to get to know you, I don't want to hear from you, I DON'T-WANT-YOU!!!"

He asked what was wrong with me.

The Ignore-button is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

 

[jushorny]

I had an unwelcome suitor in another forum. I tried to explain to him that I wasn't interested in him, which he couldn't understand, since I didn't even know him.

I tried to point out that I didn't WANT to get to know him, because I'm not interested in having a relationship with a man who has kids from a previous marriage - which he had. He then asked if I was infertile and if that was the reason why I didn't like kids.

I finally had it and told him in plain english "Stop writing to me, I don't want to get to know you, I don't want to hear from you, I DON'T-WANT-YOU!!!"

He asked what was wrong with me.

The Ignore-button is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

Geez, I bet his user name was thick-head, or it should have been

 

[kendo1]

I'm stalking SJ, McKenna and Crim.

A serial stalker.

Or is that someone who sneeks up on corn flakes?

 

[kendo1]

Did someone ask for a fluffy animal?

 

[HappyLlama]

Double oops!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Geez, I bet his user name was thick-head, or it should have been

The whole thing reminded me of the scene in "Pride & Prejudice" where Lizzy's suitor refuses to believe that she doesn't want to marry him, and claims that she's only playing hard to get...

What makes some guys think that if a girl says "no, I'm not interested" that stalking her and nagging on her is going to make her think "whow,he's really persistent! How sexy!" and say yes?

Nagging is a complete turn-off for me. And while I'm very careful not to hurt anyone's feeling, being the kind and sensitive person I am (hey! stop giggling, or I'll rip your tongue out!); when a person doesn't back off after I have told him to, I get mean.

("No, I'm not interested in coming with you into the men's room and see your super-long cock. Why? Because your breath smells like a Brazilian sewage system!")