wizbit9
aint giving a munkys nuts
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2002
- Posts
- 2,107
we are watching you
- Thread starter wizbit9
- Start date
lovetoread
hello daddy
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2001
- Posts
- 42,978
Big Brother!
Day 1 - sam admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of kelly. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, betty is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although gary later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. bob creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. hannah hits him with a spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of sears tower out of pizza. After much persuasion by bob, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the sears tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when gary, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the pizza. hannah is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the sears tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when gary farts and blows sears tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. kelly cries.
6 - bob gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, kelly admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spoon. sam says he never wears condoms because they make his dick sore and bob agrees. betty goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. gary sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up bob.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. sam goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. hannah and kelly are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for sam.
9 - hannah and kelly are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. betty sings them a song - louie louie - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote kelly out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. kelly leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with kelly's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. betty has to make do without the cucumber she requested. hannah is visibly depressed and is comforted by bob, who tries to touch her on her pussy.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of bob touching hannah's pussy over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that gary refuses to run because his dick hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. gary finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. hannah calls gary a lazy dick.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. sam tells everyone individually that he thinks hannah is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. hannah and bob are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for sam.
16 - The nominations are announced. hannah can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. bob is equally stunned and turns to hannah for comfort. gary is distraught and confesses to betty that he thinks he is in love with bob. betty says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote bob out of the house. hannah says she is gutted and even gives bob a clipping of hair from her pussy to prove how much she cares. gary is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. bob leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of hannah clipping the hair from her pussy. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of tibet in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of tibet sounds like but gary says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose sam as the one who must complete the task.
21 - sam successfully burps not only the National Anthem of tibet but also God Save The Queen, louie louie and the theme tune to americas most wanted. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and sam tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. gary and betty are nominated.
23 - gary and betty take their nominations well and sit down with sam and hannah to discuss why they voted for them. sam keeps quiet but hannah accuses gary of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred dick before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote betty out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. betty leaves.
25 - sam becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of sam's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of bear dung using only a spoon. sam is unsure but gary is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, gary breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the bear incident from his childhood. hannah tries to persuade him to stay but sam sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. gary decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the bear dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by hannah from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. sam asks hannah to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly sam nominates hannah to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does hannah.
30 - When the nomination is announced, hannah graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that sam is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. sam takes his £70,000 and runs away to tibet. Nobody, including hannah, ever sees him again.
Day 1 - sam admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of kelly. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, betty is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although gary later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. bob creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. hannah hits him with a spoon.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of sears tower out of pizza. After much persuasion by bob, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the sears tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when gary, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the pizza. hannah is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the sears tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when gary farts and blows sears tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. kelly cries.
6 - bob gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, kelly admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spoon. sam says he never wears condoms because they make his dick sore and bob agrees. betty goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. gary sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up bob.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. sam goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. hannah and kelly are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for sam.
9 - hannah and kelly are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. betty sings them a song - louie louie - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote kelly out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. kelly leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with kelly's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. betty has to make do without the cucumber she requested. hannah is visibly depressed and is comforted by bob, who tries to touch her on her pussy.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of bob touching hannah's pussy over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that gary refuses to run because his dick hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. gary finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. hannah calls gary a lazy dick.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. sam tells everyone individually that he thinks hannah is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. hannah and bob are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for sam.
16 - The nominations are announced. hannah can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. bob is equally stunned and turns to hannah for comfort. gary is distraught and confesses to betty that he thinks he is in love with bob. betty says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote bob out of the house. hannah says she is gutted and even gives bob a clipping of hair from her pussy to prove how much she cares. gary is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. bob leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of hannah clipping the hair from her pussy. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of tibet in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of tibet sounds like but gary says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose sam as the one who must complete the task.
21 - sam successfully burps not only the National Anthem of tibet but also God Save The Queen, louie louie and the theme tune to americas most wanted. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and sam tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. gary and betty are nominated.
23 - gary and betty take their nominations well and sit down with sam and hannah to discuss why they voted for them. sam keeps quiet but hannah accuses gary of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred dick before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote betty out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. betty leaves.
25 - sam becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of sam's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of bear dung using only a spoon. sam is unsure but gary is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, gary breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the bear incident from his childhood. hannah tries to persuade him to stay but sam sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. gary decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the bear dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by hannah from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. sam asks hannah to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly sam nominates hannah to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does hannah.
30 - When the nomination is announced, hannah graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that sam is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. sam takes his £70,000 and runs away to tibet. Nobody, including hannah, ever sees him again.
perks
sarcasduck ruffleslut
- Joined
- May 20, 2001
- Posts
- 40,901
Big Brother!
Day 1 - wolfie admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of morgy. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, summery is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although dawg later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. drake creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. tulip hits him with a spatula.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of white house out of spaghetti. After much persuasion by drake, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the white house task is well under way. However havoc ensues when dawg, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the spaghetti. tulip is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the white house task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when dawg farts and blows white house over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. morgy cries.
6 - drake gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, morgy admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spatula. wolfie says he never wears condoms because they make his nut sore and drake agrees. summery goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. dawg sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up drake.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. wolfie goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. tulip and morgy are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for wolfie.
9 - tulip and morgy are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. summery sings them a song - slave for you - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote morgy out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. morgy leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with morgy's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. summery has to make do without the cucumber she requested. tulip is visibly depressed and is comforted by drake, who tries to touch her on her lip.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of drake touching tulip's lip over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that dawg refuses to run because his nut hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. dawg finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. tulip calls dawg a lazy nut.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. wolfie tells everyone individually that he thinks tulip is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. tulip and drake are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for wolfie.
16 - The nominations are announced. tulip can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. drake is equally stunned and turns to tulip for comfort. dawg is distraught and confesses to summery that he thinks he is in love with drake. summery says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote drake out of the house. tulip says she is gutted and even gives drake a clipping of hair from her lip to prove how much she cares. dawg is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. drake leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of tulip clipping the hair from her lip. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of qatar in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of qatar sounds like but dawg says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose wolfie as the one who must complete the task.
21 - wolfie successfully burps not only the National Anthem of qatar but also God Save The Queen, slave for you and the theme tune to friends. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and wolfie tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. dawg and summery are nominated.
23 - dawg and summery take their nominations well and sit down with wolfie and tulip to discuss why they voted for them. wolfie keeps quiet but tulip accuses dawg of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred nut before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote summery out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. summery leaves.
25 - wolfie becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of wolfie's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of mastiff dung using only a spatula. wolfie is unsure but dawg is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, dawg breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the mastiff incident from his childhood. tulip tries to persuade him to stay but wolfie sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. dawg decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the mastiff dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by tulip from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. wolfie asks tulip to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly wolfie nominates tulip to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does tulip.
30 - When the nomination is announced, tulip graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that wolfie is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. wolfie takes his £70,000 and runs away to qatar. Nobody, including tulip, ever sees him again.
Day 1 - wolfie admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of morgy. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, summery is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although dawg later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.
2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. drake creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. tulip hits him with a spatula.
3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of white house out of spaghetti. After much persuasion by drake, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.
4 - Training for the white house task is well under way. However havoc ensues when dawg, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the spaghetti. tulip is furious.
5 - Today is the day when the white house task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when dawg farts and blows white house over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. morgy cries.
6 - drake gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.
7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, morgy admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a spatula. wolfie says he never wears condoms because they make his nut sore and drake agrees. summery goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. dawg sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up drake.
8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. wolfie goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. tulip and morgy are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for wolfie.
9 - tulip and morgy are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. summery sings them a song - slave for you - to make them feel better.
10 - The public vote morgy out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. morgy leaves.
11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with morgy's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. summery has to make do without the cucumber she requested. tulip is visibly depressed and is comforted by drake, who tries to touch her on her lip.
12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of drake touching tulip's lip over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.
13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that dawg refuses to run because his nut hurts a bit.
14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. dawg finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. tulip calls dawg a lazy nut.
15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. wolfie tells everyone individually that he thinks tulip is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. tulip and drake are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for wolfie.
16 - The nominations are announced. tulip can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. drake is equally stunned and turns to tulip for comfort. dawg is distraught and confesses to summery that he thinks he is in love with drake. summery says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know
17 - The public vote drake out of the house. tulip says she is gutted and even gives drake a clipping of hair from her lip to prove how much she cares. dawg is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. drake leaves.
18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of tulip clipping the hair from her lip. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.
19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of qatar in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.
20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of qatar sounds like but dawg says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose wolfie as the one who must complete the task.
21 - wolfie successfully burps not only the National Anthem of qatar but also God Save The Queen, slave for you and the theme tune to friends. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.
22 - Nominations are due and wolfie tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. dawg and summery are nominated.
23 - dawg and summery take their nominations well and sit down with wolfie and tulip to discuss why they voted for them. wolfie keeps quiet but tulip accuses dawg of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred nut before bursting into tears.
24 - The public vote summery out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. summery leaves.
25 - wolfie becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of wolfie's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.
26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of mastiff dung using only a spatula. wolfie is unsure but dawg is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.
27 - Completely out of the blue, dawg breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the mastiff incident from his childhood. tulip tries to persuade him to stay but wolfie sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. dawg decides to leave.
28 - With only two housemates remaining, the mastiff dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by tulip from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.
29 - Nominations are due for the final time. wolfie asks tulip to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly wolfie nominates tulip to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does tulip.
30 - When the nomination is announced, tulip graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that wolfie is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. wolfie takes his £70,000 and runs away to qatar. Nobody, including tulip, ever sees him again.
calypso_21
Bound and willing
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2002
- Posts
- 12,212
This is absolutley hysterical!!
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