Wasn't expecting that!

[PennLady]

It's not political correctness when you are a male instructor standing in front of the desk of your department dean and the dean is waving a sexual harassment report from a coed in your face. What sort of bubble do some of you folks live in?

Oh for God's sake, I never said anything like that. All I said was I didn't find it funny, independent of the circumstances or any political correctness. I was clarifying MY post, not dismissing any other problems. If you misunderstood me, well, sorry.

 

[sr71plt]

I quoted what I was reacting to. Maybe it didn't mean what it said or referred to the post of one of the posters on the thread I have on ignore.

 

[Aynmair]

If the incident was reported, either by the "victim" or by a witness, it would have to be acted on as an incident of harassment in California. It's state law. He may not lose his job over it if it's a first incident, but he'd get a hell of a lecture and training on appropriate behavior. If a supervisor or department chair did not act on it, they'd be in deep shit.

 

[Trixareforkids]

If the incident was reported, either by the "victim" or by a witness, it would have to be acted on as an incident of harassment in California. It's state law. He may not lose his job over it if it's a first incident, but he'd get a hell of a lecture and training on appropriate behavior. If a supervisor or department chair did not act on it, they'd be in deep shit.

California is one of the "over reactive" states in my mind. I totally understand where it comes from but holy moly. A friend's fiance almost lost his visa because of the "no tolerance" (or whatever they call them) laws. They were drunk coming out of a bar and were hanging all over each other being loud and obnoxious to one another (which was just their MO when drinking) when one of them stumbled and they went down in the bushes. On their way down his elbow connected with her cheek bone. Someone nearby heard them being obnoxious, saw them go down and called the cops. He was arrested for domestic abuse and they refused to drop the charges. It was dismissed in court but he was on a work visa from England it lost him his job and he had to get a visa through another company to stay. As I said, I think things go too far and cause people to lose their critical judgement abilities.

And I think that it's horribly unjust that all some disgruntled girl/woman has to do is cry sexual harassment and the poor SOB is (too many times) thought of as immediately guilty. Just like false accusations of molestation ruin more than a few teachers/care givers lives. Yes, claims have to be taken seriously but what happened to innocent until PROVEN guilty?

And just in case it wasn't clear, this is coming from a female POV.

 

[sheablue]

It's not good-natured razzing if she doesn't get the reference and doesn't know why you are laughing at her. These young people are learning business and conversational English. Did you really think she would get some cheesy BDSM reference?

Fine she's nearly fluent and maybe she gives as good as she gets, and maybe there was no harm done, she's 28, I'm sure she can handle herself. Do you banter with her and other students often using sexual innuendo? That's a bit unprofessional and kind of icky.

It was still a creepy thing to say to a woman you are in a "teacher-student" relationship with. Or to any woman who wouldn't know for sure you were "just joking."

Congratulations on mortifying her. I hope you apologized.

 

[MrFoxwood]

Between the ages of 11 and 16 I had an art teacher who, whenever one asked if they could go to the toilet, would say 'I don't know, can you?' before walking away.

This thread has made me realise that as a teenager I was in a non-consensual bdsm relationship with a man in his sixties, as were the hundreds of other kids he taught. I now feel traumatised.

Really all the signs were there, he had a proper old-school Dickensian desk more like a lectern, and he would throw things at people and handout physical punishments for the slightest infractions. Also he was kinda a religious nut. Maybe I should look up some of the people I went to school with and form a lynch mob.

 

[Bramblethorn]

If the incident was reported, either by the "victim" or by a witness, it would have to be acted on as an incident of harassment in California. It's state law. He may not lose his job over it if it's a first incident, but he'd get a hell of a lecture and training on appropriate behavior. If a supervisor or department chair did not act on it, they'd be in deep shit.

Yep, that's about how my workplace would handle something like this. It comes down to making somebody uncomfortable just for your own amusement, without their OK.

It's not good-natured razzing if she doesn't get the reference and doesn't know why you are laughing at her. These young people are learning business and conversational English. Did you really think she would get some cheesy BDSM reference?

IMHO, it would have been worse if she had recognised it as a BDSM reference. Sounds like probably no harm done this time (unless she decides to look up "safeword") but not something you'd want to repeat.

 

[ishtat]

Manners maketh man?

Leaving aside issues of PC or not, misuse of authority, and harrassment, it struck me that the op would not get into situations like this if he had the smallest semblance of ordinary good manners.

And it was creepy too.