tealsphynx
It Goes Both Ways...
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2005
- Posts
- 1,358
Nothing is wrong with me. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME. NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
Ok, the background: I was talking with someone who knows I'm into BDSM (we were talking about the Yahoo! article about the Berlin Mayor that got flamed for publicly welcoming the S&M festival that was coming to town). He said that anyone who likes hurting someone else, or likes being hurt is just wrong and they need help. It kinda hurt. I've liked hurting people since I was a kid (7 is the earliest I can remember) I used to love it when my sister would hit first so I could hit back, I liked to see the bruises she would get from our little tiffs. Part of me didn't like it. I felt wrong, dirty, bad. Early on I tried spirituality to get over it. I would pray everyday for God to take the evil feelings out of me, to remove what I thought may have been demons possessing me,but still I had the feelings. That's when I started to lose my faith in the Christian religion. I tried counselling, I poured my soul to the counselor, hoping she could tell me I had a curable disorder, that the feelings could go away. She said I just needed to learn to let go of what I felt. That's when I lost my faith in medicine. As I got older I learned to shut it away, it never went away, but everytime I started to get "those" feelings I would make my body go limp becuse if I couldn't move my body I couldn't try to hurt someone with it. I never learned that what I felt was OK and normal. Everything I heard about BDSM made me think it was bad, and that I didn't want to be into that. Then I met my now husband. I almost left him when I found out he was into it. I loved him, I didn't want to leave. So I learned. I found a community of others like me. Not all of them are good and helpful, but many of them are. Just being able to talk to people and learn that it's ok has helped me become a whole person.
Why do people have to be so openly against us? Laws are put to restrict our practices. Rallies are held at our events to protest our lifestyle, to call us dirty and wrong. It hurts especially when most of us try not to impose our lifestyle on them.
Ok, the background: I was talking with someone who knows I'm into BDSM (we were talking about the Yahoo! article about the Berlin Mayor that got flamed for publicly welcoming the S&M festival that was coming to town). He said that anyone who likes hurting someone else, or likes being hurt is just wrong and they need help. It kinda hurt. I've liked hurting people since I was a kid (7 is the earliest I can remember) I used to love it when my sister would hit first so I could hit back, I liked to see the bruises she would get from our little tiffs. Part of me didn't like it. I felt wrong, dirty, bad. Early on I tried spirituality to get over it. I would pray everyday for God to take the evil feelings out of me, to remove what I thought may have been demons possessing me,but still I had the feelings. That's when I started to lose my faith in the Christian religion. I tried counselling, I poured my soul to the counselor, hoping she could tell me I had a curable disorder, that the feelings could go away. She said I just needed to learn to let go of what I felt. That's when I lost my faith in medicine. As I got older I learned to shut it away, it never went away, but everytime I started to get "those" feelings I would make my body go limp becuse if I couldn't move my body I couldn't try to hurt someone with it. I never learned that what I felt was OK and normal. Everything I heard about BDSM made me think it was bad, and that I didn't want to be into that. Then I met my now husband. I almost left him when I found out he was into it. I loved him, I didn't want to leave. So I learned. I found a community of others like me. Not all of them are good and helpful, but many of them are. Just being able to talk to people and learn that it's ok has helped me become a whole person.
Why do people have to be so openly against us? Laws are put to restrict our practices. Rallies are held at our events to protest our lifestyle, to call us dirty and wrong. It hurts especially when most of us try not to impose our lifestyle on them.
Yes, I'm a maniac when it comes to making deserts, so enjoy!
