Warning - mother-in-law rant ahead

[Rubyfruit]

I am so fucking pissed off right now. My in-laws are coming into town tomorrow for a week. We asked them if they could stay at our place tomorrow night so that my husband and I could get a room and have some time alone. We have done this in the past, and my mother-in-law always insisted we take her room. I have never felt comfortable with that arrangement. It's just weird to me to try to be intimate with my husband with my in-laws' stuff around the room and knowing that it's their room.

So anyway, she says for us to take her room and my husband said no, "we haven't had much luck in your room in the past." Now, that's pretty clear, right? She still insists.

You know what it boils down to? Fucking money. She is the biggest fucking cheap skate on the planet. She pre-paid the room and can't get her money back for the one night. Mind you, rooms in Reno are cheap enough as it is, but since she pre-paid through a website, I'm betting she's paying no more than $30 a night.

You know what it costs us to get a sitter? $10 an hour. If we just want to go out for dinner and a movie, it's $50 for the sitter alone.

So I asked her again today if she would do it and she flat out said no, she's too frugal. I offered to pay for her room and she still said no. She can't do it because the room is paid for and if nobody sleeps there it is a waste. Cunt!

She drives me insane. When she comes here, she goes around turning off all the lights in the house, until we are all huddled around the one remaining lit bulb. She eats the heals of my bread because she knows I'll through them out. Oh, and she was insisting on bringing a turkey with her because she got it for free. It's only 14 lbs and not big enough for the crowd I'm having so the only way I could get her not to bring it was to lie and tell her I got a coupon for a free one here. The woman drives me up the wall!

And you want to know something? She's a multi-millionaire. I'm not kidding. Seems like the only happiness she gets from her money is counting it. She makes me feel frivolous because I get my hair done professionally and get the occasional pedicure.

God help me - one whole week with this woman - I don't know how I'll do it.

Thanks for letting me vent. Do you think I should turn on every fucking light and TV in the whole house before she arrives tomorrow? It would be nice just to see her twitch with anxiety imagining our electric meter running.

Ruby

 

[KillerMuffin]

Nah. Be petty. Save thanksgiving dinner for next week. Put out the fine china, the nice glasses, and the what not.

Turn down the heat so that it's non-existent, or air if you're in Reno, while she's there. Don't use electricity, use candles.

Open up a few cans of beans and condensed soup and mix it with water. Sorry mom, we don't want to waste the money to heat it up. It's a waste of money when the cheap generic chicken noodle soup tastes exactly the same cold as it does warm. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Pinch those pennies. Use the money you saved on thanksgiving dinner to hire a sitter for the weekend to stay the night and get a motel room on your own.

Or more intelligently, find some friends with similar aged children. Do a weekend swap. They take them all for one weekend, you take them all the next. No sitting fees, a full weekend to yourselves, and you can stay home, rent a room, or even splurge and go to Tahoe. Your new friends will adore the idea as well.

 

[ExLimey]

Ruby,

Tell her you are going to use her room, THEN GET YOUR OWN! She doesn't have to know. If she tries to call and no one answers just tell her you told the front desk not to forward calls or you were out enjoying yourself or some other lie.

Turn all the lights on then remove the little plastic switch (if possible) that way she can't turn them off!

Just a couple of thoughts.

XL

 

[Guest]

Ruby,
I hear you! I joke with my husband about wondering if marriage is worth the mother-in-law hell.
Good luck with the next week. Vent all you need!

Hehe...killermuffin, that was damn funny!

blessings,
Susan

 

[Rubyfruit]

Thanks KM. I like your ideas. The last one was a good one, but I don't know if I could handle anymore kids than I have.

I wanted your opinion on this because you've said before that you are cheap, er, frugal. Don't you think she is overboard though?

She stopped me once after I'd de-boned a chicken and was about to through the carcass away. I didn't pick it clean enough!

Last time she was here, I mentioned that I wanted to get the twins' hair cut. Next thing I know she's cutting their hair with the kitchen sheers, saying, see, I'm saving you $30! Guess what? She didn't because she botched the job so bad that I had to go get it evened up.

Ruby

 

[Rubyfruit]

Ruby,

Tell her you are going to use her room, THEN GET YOUR OWN!

Thanks, XL, we thought about that too late. Frankly, I really resent having to lie anyway. But she's so fucking pushy about everything having to be her way or no way.
______

Thanks for your sympathy Susan. Care to share a MIL rant here with us? Come on, get it out of your system. I felt like I was going to blow before I wrote this thread.

Ruby

 

[Guest]

Thanks for your sympathy Susan. Care to share a MIL rant here with us? Come on, get it out of your system. I felt like I was going to blow before I wrote this thread.

Ruby

Well, she hates me. My husband and I met online. I moved over 400 miles to be with him. She was nasty to me from our first meeting. She bitched about the wedding behind my back. She was rude to my family. Her passive-aggressive tactics are textbook. I was alone in NJ, dealing with ovarian cysts, and quite a few other challenges, and all she could say to me when her dishwasher broke was:
"And YOU think YOU have problems?"
Good gawd, I could go on forever!




It's getting better.
Kinda.

 

[YogiBare]

Ah yes ...

Ruby, I know the type well. My late ex-father-in-law was a multi-millionaire whose family was wiped out financially in the depression and he started life with absolutely no financial resources. When he made his fortune he never felt secure and couldn't spend money, even on himself. He never went on vacations and wore 20 year old suits with cigar holes burned in them. He used to get stuck on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere (at age 80!) because his 20 year old Chrysler kept breaking down and he wouldn't spend the money to buy himself a new car. Hard to understand.

I agree with ex-Limey. Tell her you're taking their room and then go rent another one! Make her happy by thanking her for her generosity - it'll make her day. On - and have a hubba-hubba time with your hubby!

 

[Elizabeth]

(((Ruby)) I am right there with you on this so vent away. I hate my MIL too.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

Ruby, I have the perfect mother-in-law=>

She's dead.

blue

 

[Siren]

tell her she is wasting her money on the room if she doesnt let you both use it cuz

 

[juicylips]

Ruby,
Just come on out to Ohio and stay with me

Let your husband deal with all that shit, oh pardon, crap.

Cassidy

 

[Rubyfruit]

Well, Siren, we've asked several times now and her answer is no. I can't very well force her to babysit. My husband sticks up to her, but not as much as I would if she was my mom. In all honestly though, she is a completely overbearing woman and thinks she knows best in all situations. I've learned to just listen without commenting now. With all of her parenting advice, etc., I just say something like, "I'm really happy that works for you," and end the conversation.

Ruby

 

[freakygirl]

My mother in law rant...

The other day we were discussing what we were getting kids for xmas. I told her my son (14 year old) wanted 3 things.. a phone, a dvd player and a lap top computer. She decided she would get him the phone. I told her I was going to get him a DVD player that they had at WalMart for under a $100. We had set the limit of NO MORE than $100 per child this year, because they get so much from other people. And $100 was more than enough. She said "Why would you spend THAT much on kids?" "Don't you think that is a little bit too much for kids?" "Just think about what THEIR PARENTS are going to get them".. umm excuse me.. i gave BIRTH to four of those children.. husband had some part in the other four. Are we NOT their parents because they don't live with us? This women thinks nothing about spending $10,000 on a bedroom set.. bed, matress, and 2 dressers.

Yet for xmas every year for the last five years, i have recieved a piece of paper saying "When you get a NEW house, you willl get___________" (fill in the blank with some useless piece of crap). Now.. knowing her.. if i don't buy a brand new house.. one that no one else has lived in, i will not get the items she has "given" me.. She is a nosey bitch..<----her son's words.. NOT mine.

She has 13 grandkids.. I understand she doesn't want to spend $100 per child or per person for xmas.. I don't expect anything.. but she insists on giving me these pieces of paper..

needless to say.. i didn't tell her about the $1400 I spent on her son for xmas.. nor the new car i'll be getting December 15th. I'm still trying to figure out how to hide the car.. any ideas?

 

[Debbie]

freakygirl32
"needless to say.. i didn't tell her about the $1400 I spent on her son for xmas.. nor the new car i'll be getting December 15th. I'm still trying to figure out how to hide the car.. any ideas?"

Do you get on with your neighbours? Perhaps park it in their garage or at the top of their driveway with a cover over it?

 

[Rubyfruit]

Freaky, that reminds me of the first time I had my MIL over to our new house. I had opted for this big, beautiful built in refrigerator, the same one she didn't allow herself in her new house because of the price.

I was just waiting to hear the comments about how frivolous it was, but she assumed that the builder put it in. *whew*

Ruby

 

[morninggirl5]

I don't have a mother-in-law to rant about, but I'd really like to yell about someone else's. Five years ago, I babysat for friends while they were in Hawaii. They had three children at the time and the mother-in-law from hell didn't think I could take care of the kids by myself, so she flew down to "help".

She was more trouble than the kids and fed the poor things instant mashed potatoes every night. Since then, she has decided to adopt me. I get cards from her with "advice" and her concerns about the kids. GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

 

[Rubyfruit]

Well, she hates me. My husband and I met online. I moved over 400 miles to be with him. She was nasty to me from our first meeting. She bitched about the wedding behind my back. She was rude to my family. Her passive-aggressive tactics are textbook. I was alone in NJ, dealing with ovarian cysts, and quite a few other challenges, and all she could say to me when her dishwasher broke was:
"And YOU think YOU have problems?"
Good gawd, I could go on forever!

Susan, sorry I missed this earlier. That's rich. How could you possibly worry about your ovarian cysts when she had a REAL tragedy to deal with?

Ruby

 

[freakygirl]

oh Debbie.. good idea.. but what about when I go over to her house? She lives 6 blocks away.. *L*

Ruby, part of her problem is because of my husbands ex wife. She bought anything and everything she wanted. But never paid the bills. I pay the bills (the few that we have) then I buy what I need. I never buy anything unless it's needed. Ok, I don't need the new car, since the one I have I bought new-used in July. But I figured with the interest rates the way they are right now, I'd buy a brand new special ordered car. With the features I want. (The payments are exactly the same). With the equity I have in my car, the 0% interest, and the no payments until 2003... I'm getting a great deal. (I'm going to put away the monthly payment away in an interest barring account, until car payments come due). I can't pass this deal up.

About 5 years ago.. we borrowed $1000 from her. I paid it back when we got our income tax.. which was about 3 months later. She has NEVER let us forget that we needed to borrow that money. Husband needed dental work and that was the deductable that needed to be paid. He worked in a lumber mill.. he wasn't making a third of what he is making now. We can afford luxuries now.. I just wish she would lay off.. and let us live our lifes..

We don't owe a bunch of money.. I owe $4000 to a credit card, that I used to buy the computer. I make $500-$600 a month payments.. We pay rent to my mom.. pay most if not all of my moms household bills..drive nice cars.. our kids are well taken care of... I think we are doing damn good.. compared to what we were doing 3 years ago.

I could see her bitching.. if we owed a lot of money.. and did nothing but spend the money we do have on crap that isn't needed.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Freaky, I don't know what it is with pushy MILs. My mom totally stays out of our business.

We're grown ups with our own families and some still feel the need to judge how we run our lives. Makes me want to scream.

Ruby

 

[Rubyfruit]

Ruby,
Just come on out to Ohio and stay with me

Let your husband deal with all that shit, oh pardon, crap.

Cassidy

Cassidy, do you think I could get a flight this late?

Ruby

 

[Siren]

Well since they wont let you have the hotel room

 

[Gilly Bean]

Ok, for starters, I think we will be lucky to maybe spend about $50 on the kids each for Christmas. Presants for each other? Yeah right, the last time that happened was 2 years ago. I got a couple of movies, hubby got a basketball, and some wizard figures.


But, on to my favorite topic. Bitching about that bitch who gave birth to my hubby.

For starters, she kicked me and my 15 month old daughter out of her house at 12 am one night, in the dead of winter, with no place to go. But, she told hubby he was perfectly welcome to come back after dropping us off somewhere. He politly told her to fuck off.

When our wedding came around 2 months later, she told us she would be there, even if she didn't like me. She called my husband on the morning of our wedding to inform him that his then-17 year old sister had a party to go to, and so they wouldn't be making it to the wedding, OR reception.

When we moved in to an apartment across the drive from her (we had no choice on location of our apartment, we could literally look from our kitchen window into hers), she would come over all the time, and act as though everything was fine. When Princess (his sister) would get into one of her raging drunk modes, she would start physically abusing his mother, throwing shit everywhere, and slitting her wrists, it was hubby who would get called out of bed at 3am, 4am, 5am, whenever, to come smooth things over. But, if he used force on her, in anyway shape or form, his loving mom was right there waiting to call the police to come get him. After New Years eve 1998/99 when I was drugged outta my gourd, and in a lot of pain form baby number two, who was a week overdue at that point, he told her that if they wanted to call again, he would come over and help, but first he would call the police to come break it up. Hasn't happened again where they call us.

Now, when she is stuck unable to pay her house payment, she decides to get out by 'giving' us the house, if we take over the payments. BUT, while I am 8 months pregnant, it would be a great help if I could go over there during the day, and pack her shit up to get her out. Not to mention hunting down boxes, etc. Also, hubby has to go over and move all her furniture out. Now, this is all on top of having to do this all to our own house.

Today, she calls me from work. Would I be so kind as to call this place, this one, this one, and that one, for her to see about some permits or some other such shit. Why can't she do it? Because it's her day off and she has some errands she would like to try and run.

It took me all of 5 minutes to call the people, and get the info. And that would have disrupted her day to much to do it herself?
She is pretty basically a 5 year old. She doesn't know how to function on her own. Can't pay her bills, her mom does. Can't call her own people, can't do anything at all on her own.


Ok, rant done. For now. And just think, that is the PC version.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Wow Gilly, I thought I had it bad. That is awful. I don't know how you put up with it. I would want to move across the country from a woman like that. Egads!

I can relate to the wedding thing. My father didn't come to mine because who was I to have a wedding at age 32 after I'd been fucking niggers and women?

Nice, huh?

Ruby

 

[freakygirl]

Gilly, I know exactly where you are coming from on the amount you spend on the kids and your significant other for gifts.. I have been there.. I was married at 18 years old with a new baby. Our first year, it was dollar store for both of us.. Thank god the baby was young enough to be happy with one simple little toy. (as a matter a fact, he liked the box more than the toy)

My current husband and I were there a few years ago. We have been lucky.. I came into a large inheritance 2 years ago from my grandmother, my husband is making more money now then he ever has in his life, plus he has an inheritance and a little bit of VA money coming in monthly.

I shouldn't have posted things on this thread that I have. I go back now and read it, and I sound like I'm bragging. Really I'm not.. I'm no better than anyone else.

I was young once also.. i had the hard times.. everyone does. Sometimes it takes longer for some to get out of those hard times. But you have the love of a husband.. and the love of your children. That is far better than any amount of money you could ever have. If you can't give your husband anything more than love.. so be it.. you have a brand new baby coming right around Christmas.. That to me is much more wonderful then any present under the tree..

And as far as your mother in law.. when you find the secret.. pm it to me ok?? please..