Warning Labels

[estevie]

Sorry if y'all have seen this but I hadn't and it cracked me up...Can any of you relate to some of these?


Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary.


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable
rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible or worse bulletproof.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode

 

[juicylips]

LMAO....

I am guilty of over half of those...embarassingly so.

Of course, that was a number of years ago and I am now so much more mature and wiser

Cassidy

 

[Weird Harold]

Those are good, but I thought maybe someone had picked up on the recent "Dumbest Warning Labels" awards that CNN mentioned a couple of days ago.

The winner was a CD Player that carries a warning: "Do not use the **** as a projectile ina catapult."

The runner up was fireplace logs with "Warning: Fire danger" prominently displayed on the packaging.

 

[MidnightAngel]

Oh.....this sounds familiar!

*Especially* that "calling at 4am thing".

 

[plasticman33]

Damn Este, I'm guilty of violating all of those!

 

[Beethoven'sFire]

If *I* had a warning label, it would say:

Warning: contents extremely volatile.

 

[Feelin' Naughty]

Under the influence of Crown Royal

I jus do luv you all soooo mush!!!!!
((((((hugs all around))))))