WANTED: a sensitivity & verisimilitude check

[Rumple Foreskin]

NEEDED: a sensitivity & verisimilitude check-up

The latest installment of the novel I've been posting in the Romance category THE KISS, involves issues some readers might feel I've handled with a clumsy, insensitive, inaccurate touch. These include the formative period of the gay and women's rights movements and legalized abortions.

That being the case, I'd appreciate the thoughts of AH folks on where I've slipped up and how the content and/or writing might be improved. It's a short chapter, just over two Lit pages. I'm not whoring for votes and "atta boy" PC's, honest. Not that I'd object, it's just that input posted here on how I handled those issues is what interests me the most. Here's the link:

THE KISS CH 10, Sue's Dilemma

Many thanks.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Never let it be said an AH thread doesn't get results. Mere moments after posting this one, the chapter was one-bombed. See what I mean?

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

Never let it be said an AH thread doesn't get results. Mere moments after posting this one, the chapter was one-bombed. See what I mean?

Rumple Foreskin

Assholes. Maybe my vote will make up for it.

It's a marvelous chapter to the story. I can see why some wouldn't like it, though, as your main characters aren't engaged. It's the story of secondary players, loaded with angst and issues.

It's well-written though, and well detailed.

This is going to be a helluva book.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Assholes. Maybe my vote will make up for it.

It's a marvelous chapter to the story. I can see why some wouldn't like it, though, as your main characters aren't engaged. It's the story of secondary players, loaded with angst and issues.

It's well-written though, and well detailed.

This is going to be a helluva book.

Thanks, Sarahh. But we both know that low-bombs come with the territory.

I'm just a bit disappointed at the lack of input about whether the chapter, especially the scene where the girl wakes to the sound/sight of her guy on the receiving end of anal sex with another man, needed any work. Oh, well.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Guest]

Thanks, Sarahh. But we both know that low-bombs come with the territory.

I'm just a bit disappointed at the lack of input about whether the chapter, especially the scene where the girl wakes to the sound/sight of her guy on the receiving end of anal sex with another man, needed any work. Oh, well.

Rumple Foreskin

I wonder if readers are as shocked as your female character was.

It is a bit startling, but I'm certain that's what you intended.

If you aren't hearing criticisms, then smile and work on the next chapter.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I wonder if readers are as shocked as your female character was.

It is a bit startling, but I'm certain that's what you intended.

If you aren't hearing criticisms, then smile and work on the next chapter.

I hear you. No noise is good noise.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[ms.read]

Its Freakin Chapter 10 Already!!!!!!!!

Just Write It Out The Whole Damn Thing So I Can Read It All At Once And Let Me Give You A Final Rating! Why Space It Out To Every 2 Pages You Have To Post It And Call It Blah Blah Blah Chap 1,2 3 Ect?????
I Love It And I Want The Book Now Dammit!


Warning: This Poster Has A Volatile Temper Concerning Her Reading Material Or Lack Thereof. The Monster Must Be Fed A Consumption Of At Least 500 Pages A Day ( Of Any Kind Of Reading Material, Not Just Erotic). Please Read The Warning Twice Before Replying To Poster.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Its Freakin Chapter 10 Already!!!!!!!!

Just Write It Out The Whole Damn Thing So I Can Read It All At Once And Let Me Give You A Final Rating! Why Space It Out To Every 2 Pages You Have To Post It And Call It Blah Blah Blah Chap 1,2 3 Ect?????
I Love It And I Want The Book Now Dammit!


Warning: This Poster Has A Volatile Temper Concerning Her Reading Material Or Lack Thereof. The Monster Must Be Fed A Consumption Of At Least 500 Pages A Day ( Of Any Kind Of Reading Material, Not Just Erotic). Please Read The Warning Twice Before Replying To Poster.

Easy now, Ms Read. At 500 pages a day, you've got a huge habit there. Have you considered going through radical detox (nothing to read all day--just watch Law & Order reruns) and then joining RA (Readers Annonymous?).

Just so you know, I have submitted another chapter (there are 15 total). Problem is, Lit must be getting a lot of submissions because it's taking about a week for a submitted piece to see the light of day. Until it's posted, check out the Novels/Novella category and consult your nearest Zen master.

And thanks for the pat (bash?) on the head.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[ms.read]

hugs rumple.

Okay. you welcome for the love tap.