want to be dominated

[jeffreysub]

Hello everyone, kind of knew to this message board. I read alot of various stories but take a certian recent joy out of the bdsm stories... I have this huge fantasy of being dominated by an extremely beautiful or above average looking woman. I don't know how to find someone into this sort of thing and am some what nervous about the whole thing.

The question is how do I find the right dominatrix? It seems that their aren't alot of women in this sort of thing on this message board or in the Seattle area. Alot of the women are submissives but it would sure be nice to find at least one female that is into beating up guys. I would prefer that she doesn't do it to curb her male hating habits but as a form of erotic pleasure.

Can anyone here help me?

 

[Vixandra]

Well, first and foremost, welcome to the boards.
And while there do seem to be more Doms then Domme's (Or what your label of choice is) there is a fair share of them here.
As for finding a Seatle based Domme- try posting an ad up in the BDSM Personals or checking with a local fetish group, they might be able to point you in the direction of a Domme looking for fresh meat... er someone new to play with.

Finding the right dominatrix is a lot like finding any type of significant other- you occasionally find the right one the first time you look but more often then not you kiss a few frogs to find your whip-weilding princess. But they're worth it once found.

Just remember, same safe sex rules and such apply to the BDSM realm as they do to the 'nilla one.

Good luck!

 

[Aeroil]

.

 

[snowy ciara]

edited

A Dominatrix is NOT a whore. A great many non paid Dommes prefer that title. A prostitute who Dominates clients is a Pro-Domme, or more rarely, a Pro-Dom. I know at least one genetic female Dominatrix who prefers that title, and one TG Dominatrix, and either one would beat you in a totally non-consensual way for assuring a newb that they are for hire. Especially since one of them HAS worked as a Pro-Domme as well as a "regular whore" and she will tell you, there's a world of difference between doing it (either it, really) for money and doing it for some sort of love.

 

[Aeroil]

.

 

[snowy ciara]

edited

 

[Aeroil]

I am not here to fight, I will apologize and withdraw

 

[Vixandra]

oh, I guess I just got some info from a bad source, very sorry then. umm, as for the term "pro-domme" *sneers* that is foolish, by my definition, they are still a whore.

an edit to match yours.

it is no different, "pro-dommes" are still selling themselves.

2nd editd

and by the way thank you very much for correcting me

Okay, so massage therapists, spa workers, ballet dancers and so many other people who sell thier services for money are whores too then. I mean, they perform a service on/for a person for money, so they're whores.

There is a world of differance between a whore and a Pro-Domme. Not all of them have sexual intercourse with thier clients, in fact I'd imagine a good deal of them don't. It takes intelligence and I'd imagine a good deal of self confidence to go Pro as a Dominant.
On the flip side, a whore often finds him or herself there because there is no other option, they're hopeless and have no other way of making money then selling thier own bodies.

Long as its consentual what the heck is wrong with that?!? I would rather a woman or man sell thier body then be on welfare.

 

[jeffreysub]

well...

Well actually I want this domme to be extremely sexual not a professional or just doing it for kicks. I prefer it to be sexual as well and not a 'whore' although I have no problems with prostitutes I just don't want money to be involved at all. To me domination and submission is all about sex and if it lacks sexual intercourse in anyway I start to get turned off.

As for getting it up the ass... Nah not one of my fantasies I don't like anal at all infact. I will try and look into the adds around here and see what I can find but by all meens I am going to avoid the professionals, I like this to be more personal relationship wise no offense.

 

[snowy ciara]

I am not here to fight, I will apologize and withdraw

edited with apologies to the grown ups for letting my temper get the best of me.


Accepted, I guess. I'm not here to fight either.

Jeffery, I'm very sorry for following the hijack and letting my temper get the best of me.

Now then, if you have an alternative paper or something in your area, they probably have some sort of personals section. Ours has two, general singles ads and then an "Uncensored" section where people are looking for more esoteric kinks.

 

[Quint]

Accepted, I guess. I'm not here to fight either but you were being insulting and rude to two Ladies here that I like and respect and I felt the need to speak up. And then you tried talking down to me, which is a fucking joke. You are not better than me because I've actually thought of prostitution and you haven't. You're NOT better than the pros because they work for their money selling their creativity and dominance. I'd be really really careful about looking down on peeps just because I've never sold myself for money. I'm not going to apologize for defending Ladies I like and respect. I will however drop it as it's over, and edit to protect your precious ego.

Vixie makes a very good point. I take pleasure in West Wing and have had interesting fantasies about Allison Janey, so I guess she's a whore. Yo-Yo Ma is a whore too, cause I bought one of his cd's and used it for lovemaking music. I mean, I basically paid them for sexual pleasure so they're whores and I'm a John and they're bad and you're better than all of us? Right? RIGHT?

I'm getting so sick of the judge mental attitudes we're seeing around here lately. C'mon folks, we're all grown ups. Lets start acting like it. We're not all going to agree about everything, but lets not get stupid about it.

Dude, she said she didn't want to fight. Kicking while down, much?

 

[snowy ciara]

Dude, she said she didn't want to fight. Kicking while down, much?

I'm editing as fast as I can, and I'm not the dude, he is. LOL

 

[Quint]

I'm editing as fast as I can, and I'm not the dude, he is. LOL

Wow, total wrong gender assumption (Aeroil, not you...I'm also an indiscriminate dude-er). That changes the whole flavor of everything I've read in his posts. Yikes on my part.

Sorry, Aeroil. Shall try to stay abreast in the future as a fellow "person whose gender is often incorrectly guessed."

 

[Mr Blonde]

jeffreysub: Just as a point of nomenclature, a dominatrix (or domina) is typically a "professional" who expects payment or gratuities for services rendered. If you are looking for a dominant woman in an "amateur" capacity (so to speak), then consistently say "domme" to avoid this confusion. On some dating sites people will have a dollar sign by their name to indicate they are professional.

Only trying to help and good luck in your search!

 

[jeffreysub]

oops, sorry I want a domme not someone who just whips me without sex!

I will look in my paper and hope to find that special someone.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think perhaps if you set realistic expectations it might work better for you. Just an observation I have made in recent months from talking with many male subs, most are into the fantasy image of extraordinarily beautiful women in all the clothes seen in the glossy mags and movies etc., and none have found that fantasy image, nor found it helped them gain favour in their search. Comes a point where you have to decide whether you are really into domination and submission for all it's reality, or just looking to step into a fantasy for which you will more than likely have to pay to achieve if your top priority is going to be appearance.

Catalina

 

[SweetDommes]

I think perhaps if you set realistic expectations it might work better for you. Just an observation I have made in recent months from talking with many male subs, most are into the fantasy image of extraordinarily beautiful women in all the clothes seen in the glossy mags and movies etc., and none have found that fantasy image, nor found it helped them gain favour in their search. Comes a point where you have to decide whether you are really into domination and submission for all it's reality, or just looking to step into a fantasy for which you will more than likely have to pay to achieve if your top priority is going to be appearance.

Catalina

Yeah, what she said. Someone with the stereotypical porno image stuck in his mind is just going to irritate us and make us block/iggy him.

Originally posted by jeffreysub
To me domination and submission is all about sex and if it lacks sexual intercourse in anyway I start to get turned off.

And if you are wanting a long term relationship, jeffrey, you should probably realize that D/s is not usually just about sex, it is definately not all about sex. Even if you are only submissive during sex, it is a mental attitude from both you and your Dominant. And being submissive isn't all about your fantasies, it's about giving the Dominant pleasure first - if what pleases Her is to roleplay out your fantasies, than that's great for you, but don't bet on it ... unless you find a 'dominant' like a few that I've run into who are only dominant because it gets them into the lifestyle (seriously, one of them was so submissive it almost literally ozzed out of him - but because he knew what submissives wanted and was able to give it to them, he claimed to be a dominant ... sorry, but that's not dominance in our opinion - just another version of submission).

Miss Karen

 

[catalina_francisco]

unless you find a 'dominant' like a few that I've run into who are only dominant because it gets them into the lifestyle (seriously, one of them was so submissive it almost literally ozzed out of him - but because he knew what submissives wanted and was able to give it to them, he claimed to be a dominant ... sorry, but that's not dominance in our opinion - just another version of submission).

Miss Karen

LOL, yes I have found a few like this. Once had a Dominant who asked me what I dreamed about...which I thought was to see if we were on the same page....but he then went on to explain he could be whatever it was I was looking for. Hmmm, didn't get it when I said no he couldn't as I was looking for a Dominant, as he thought that was what he was.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

resident "whore" (LOL) sez:

Ok, so, she has to be "beautiful" or above average, she has to fuck you, and no anal. You might start appealing to the Dominant woman, buddy, if you start focusing on what you are going to do for HER.

 

[bridgeburner]

Jeffery,

Why do you think you're a sub? I mean, what is it about this scenario that appeals to you? I get the impression that you're fixating on specific things that this woman might do to you for your pleasure --- including be aroused herself by performing such acts for you --- rather than on the idea of being truly at her mercy to do whatever SHE actually wants to do to you. If this is about you and your desire first, then you're not going to be happy with a truly Dominant woman.

Also, not to be rude, but can you get and keep hot vanilla chick? Wanting a hot lover is common, but not everyone has the goods to score such a thing and in the FemDom/malesub world the competition is fierce. Domme's have their choice of men to Top because the ratio is so skewed, so you'd better have some edge to compete with.

I'm thinking your best bet is to find a vanilla chick who's willing to play Kink Night for you or to find a submissive woman who is willing to switch and Top you for the night in the manner you prescribe.

-B

 

[Caitlynne]

resident "whore" (LOL) sez:

Ok, so, she has to be "beautiful" or above average, she has to fuck you, and no anal. You might start appealing to the Dominant woman, buddy, if you start focusing on what you are going to do for HER.

**Applauds**

 

[redelicious]

oops, sorry I want a domme not someone who just whips me without sex!

I will look in my paper and hope to find that special someone.

Moments like these I wish Ebony would appear. *sigh*

Good luck in the search.

 

[SweetDommes]

Ok, so, she has to be "beautiful" or above average, she has to fuck you, and no anal. You might start appealing to the Dominant woman, buddy, if you start focusing on what you are going to do for HER.

yeah, that was kinda my point, too ... LOL

 

[Netzach]

yeah, that was kinda my point, too ... LOL

sorry...and you were so much nicer and more helpful about it, too.

 

[SweetDommes]

sorry...and you were so much nicer and more helpful about it, too.

Well, you know ... its that whole "sweet" thing ... LOL