wand vibes

[blunt_trauma]

like hitachi and the ilk.

it's that they're so persistently, insistently consistent.
you can just sort of hold it there and do nothing,
and they sort of wear you down until you give in and O.

it's not terribly sexy but it works.

 

[Byron In Exile]

like hitachi and the ilk.

it's that they're so persistently, insistently consistent.
you can just sort of hold it there and do nothing,
and they sort of wear you down until you give in and O.

it's not terribly sexy but it works.

Did another guy just expire?

 

[blunt_trauma]

there's no body and you can't prove anything

 

[Byron In Exile]

there's no body and you can't prove anything

Oh, right.

Still, I think I ought to get some sort of trophy for lasting a year and not ending up inside a wall.

 

[blunt_trauma]

i love that song

 

[Byron In Exile]

i love that song

It's why I broke up with you.

(Obliquely, obviously. I thought it would be better if you believed it was your idea.)

I just felt I deserved better than to end up in a wall.

Not too much better, but enough.

 

[blunt_trauma]

...a ditch?

 

[Byron In Exile]

...a ditch?

Well... Ditch is a hard sell.

There's so much open land here in the US, places where nobody ever goes... But where you are, everything's accounted for twelve times. Ditches and rivers aren't good options.

The sea is your best bet. Weighted metal cages.

Why am I telling you this?

 

[blunt_trauma]

because you can't help yourself.
if i tried to stab you, you'd insist on sharpening the knife yourself first to show me how it should be done, and then draw arrows on your skin to make sure i got a good spot.

 

[Byron In Exile]

because you can't help yourself.
if i tried to stab you, you'd insist on sharpening the knife yourself first to show me how it should be done, and then arrows on your skin to make sure i got a good spot.

Maybe, but, seriously, wouldn't it be in both of our best interests not to make a total bloody mess of things?

And, just as an aside... are you stalking me again?

 

[blunt_trauma]

Maybe, but, seriously, wouldn't it be in both of our best interests not to make a total bloody mess of things?

And, just as an aside... are you stalking me again?

not me.

...did you ever date fuckette?

 

[Byron In Exile]

not me.

...did you ever date fuckette?

No... I've only ever let myself be stalked by you.

 

[blunt_trauma]

No... I've only ever let myself be stalked by you.

i'm too busy wanking obsessively to stalk anyone right now.

 

[Byron In Exile]

i'm too busy wanking obsessively to stalk anyone right now.

Well.

Clearly you were off your game at the time.

 

[blunt_trauma]

game/head

 

[Byron In Exile]

game/head

Your blowjobs are epically bad, so this can only be interpreted one way.