Walking in minefields

[daughter]

Members--

Recently, I responded to what I thought was an innocous discussion. After a few more replies, I learned there was some history behind it or some history that some felt associated with the current interest. At any rate, I have a few thoughts about what it means to not be in the know.

I do not know the details of many the past or developed strains here and in most cases, I don't want to because I feel it's none of my business. I suspect that the parties involved would prefer not to have the situation(s) resurrected. I would not intentionally flame something. If someone is new and you felt they needed to know, how about pm'ing him so publicly the thread doesn't escalate?

While a new topic may be related, none of us out of the loop would be wiser if those who were aware didn't mention it. If it's a touchy situation, not responding would just as easily allow the thread to die without incident.

I respect tender feelings. From a relatively newbie standpoint, please know that more than once the good intentions of older members have resulted in folks like me, learning stuff you all never wanted to address. I for one am happy to be in the dark about matters that don't concern me.

I hope this came off right. I know all too well what it's like to have a scab picked.

Be well.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Cheyenne]

I think it makes a difference if a current thread is related to another current thread on the bb, or if the background is an ancient connection to something that happened long ago.

I'll point out a connection to another current thread (as happened last night.) But I probably won't point out the history of two people posting together on a thread. Unless, of course, Patryn or Always would show up one day and start posting again. Then, look out board!

 

[daughter]

Cheyenne

I think it makes sense to reference related threads. I'm talking about folks responding to current threads and mentioning clearly personal issues between members on the board.
I'm uncomfortable with being privvy to folks personal dramas escpecially when they're not the ones discussing it.

I guess I'm basically saying, I'd like to respect folks privacy and be sensitive of their feelings. I think that there are times when others' attempts to squelch controversy inadvertenly share more information instead of heading off a flame.

Peace,

daughter

 

[ksmybuttons]

Very early I stepped into one of those minefields. I watched the war over several threads and was only lightly singed. I learned several things from the whole episode. I will only give my opinion as related to me. I will not place judgement on those that think differently than me and will take the information or viewpoint that is different from mine and use it towards my personal growth. Sometimes I have found it to strengthen my own opinion and other times it has caused me to re-think it and that is a good thing.

So the minefields have had a postive outcome for me.

I do find that the information that is shared, either by the people involved or those that come to their defense, adds dimension to the people themselves. It affects their credibility to me. The insight is one of the things that keeps me coming back.

I am sorry that people get hurt and they choose their forum. Not my style, but they seem to like it. I don't have to watch and I can leave at anytime.

I always look forward to your threads, daughter, because they make me think. That is why I am on the board. To learn and to think and to learn and to think...

 

[daughter]

Thanks, Ksymbuttons

You've made some solid points. Can't argue with you about growth. I wince that it is at someone else's expense.

I try to behave as you have describe. I've learned a lot about conflict and resolution in counselling. There are times we do have to deal and ride these episodes out.

Thanks for sharing some insight.

Peace,

daughter

p.s. I've messed up so much, it was learn or die.

 

[ksmybuttons]

Someone Else's Expense

You've made some solid points. Can't argue with you about growth. I wince that it is at someone else's expense.
p.s. I've messed up so much, it was learn or die.

People choose their forum. When I do that, I usually know what I am willing to pay. Sometimes I am caught and pay anyway but I can usually make it out of debt eventually.

Lots of people mess up. Learning is very good. Teaching can be very hard. It's also hard watching people do the same thing over and over again.

 

[alltherage]

There are minefields all around us here. I have not stepped in many. I think that is so because I usually avoid the arguement threads. It is a sport I am unfamiliar with. There seems to be a kind of community within a community here at lit. It is obvious to me that I am not part of this inner world. I have made little effort to enter it. I simply have enough issues in my RL to deal with without having to compound them with some of the fights that come out here. I am happy not to be a part of them.

I learned a little while back that I cannot discuss really personal issue here without exposing my emotions to a few too many strangers. I posted a very personal and high voltage response to a thread and was enraged by a very stupid and immature comment. Since that time I have posted less and I am very careful about what I say. I surely don't need to lose my temper in this environment. It is, after all, very difficult to commit homicide through a computer screen. lol. Its a joke people.