Walking along the edge
- Thread starter SA Storm
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erosman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2001
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- 4,553
fear mongering
What to do when that dew-point is achieved so effortlessly? I've asked myself this as well. My arguments against furthering the relationship always come down to fear. Always.
It is as though the left side of my brain wants to argue with logic and consequences and the right side of my brain rebutts with feelings of connection and laughter.
Solution: Try to make my decisions without fear being my primary motivator. Try to blend the logic and feelings, without the catalyst of fear.
...though, I still feel scared shitless at times.
What to do when that dew-point is achieved so effortlessly? I've asked myself this as well. My arguments against furthering the relationship always come down to fear. Always.
It is as though the left side of my brain wants to argue with logic and consequences and the right side of my brain rebutts with feelings of connection and laughter.
Solution: Try to make my decisions without fear being my primary motivator. Try to blend the logic and feelings, without the catalyst of fear.
...though, I still feel scared shitless at times.
Vailyn
Quixotic Paradox
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2000
- Posts
- 2,639
It seems to me, in my short life, I've had to ask myself too many times already if I wanted to sacrifice a good friendship for the murky unknown realm of a relationship with a friend. It happens each and everytime I meet someone with whom I have an immediate and unknown passion for-be it mental, physical or emotional. An attraction that I had no real answer to until I got to know the person. For me, it's the person who really matters. Not looks or a dozen other things that women like to use when they try to find that someone special in their lives. So, we start as friends and then it grows into something more. And I get to agonize in my heart if it would be the right thing to take our friendship further into the realm of relationships.
<grins> It may sound like I've had to do it alot, but I've only had to make this choice three times. Twice with someone with whom I've had an instant attraction for. Once with a friend that I allowed myself to become casually involved with. Each time, despite my fears, I eventually took the step towards a relationship because I didn't want to look back and regret not having tried. As logical and practical as I am about most things in life, I don't want my dreams of love for myself to die. So, I made myself hold back my fears with both hands and tried to go for it.
The first and last time I will ever get involved casually with a friend turned out rather bad. Although, we have gotten back in touch with one another after many months after our "break up", the things he did during the end of our relationship has lost him my trust and faith in him. I give my trust easily, but one has to keep it by honoring it. He didn't do that. So, we remain friends, but no where near as close as we were before.
The first of my instant flames? He's a great guy and I understand him far far too well. Things did not turn out to great on that end either, but we are still friends. We just do not talk as much as we used to. A lot of that has to do with distance to. It took distance for him to realize how much he liked me. It is also distance that keeps him from admitting he wants to be with me. I understand, I didn't like it, but I understand. So, we're friends and I keep it strickly friends.
As for the other... that one is still in progress! <chuckles> I am going through the experiences as we speak. However, I did get my courage up and admit to him how I felt. I told him, "Thank you for coming into my life and showing me that my heart isn't as closed as I thought it was." Surprisingly, he did not run away in fear. Instead we ended up talking for hours. He opened up more and spoke to me about his past that he wasn't willing to share before. So, even if nothing happens to make my romantic heart take wing, we are better and closer friends because of what I did.
I guess, what I am saying is this: Do not live your life in such fear of pain, for yourself or the one you care for, that you do not take that risk and go for what can make you truly happy. Maybe more happy than you ever dreamed. =)
<grins> It may sound like I've had to do it alot, but I've only had to make this choice three times. Twice with someone with whom I've had an instant attraction for. Once with a friend that I allowed myself to become casually involved with. Each time, despite my fears, I eventually took the step towards a relationship because I didn't want to look back and regret not having tried. As logical and practical as I am about most things in life, I don't want my dreams of love for myself to die. So, I made myself hold back my fears with both hands and tried to go for it.
The first and last time I will ever get involved casually with a friend turned out rather bad. Although, we have gotten back in touch with one another after many months after our "break up", the things he did during the end of our relationship has lost him my trust and faith in him. I give my trust easily, but one has to keep it by honoring it. He didn't do that. So, we remain friends, but no where near as close as we were before.
The first of my instant flames? He's a great guy and I understand him far far too well. Things did not turn out to great on that end either, but we are still friends. We just do not talk as much as we used to. A lot of that has to do with distance to. It took distance for him to realize how much he liked me. It is also distance that keeps him from admitting he wants to be with me. I understand, I didn't like it, but I understand. So, we're friends and I keep it strickly friends.
As for the other... that one is still in progress! <chuckles> I am going through the experiences as we speak. However, I did get my courage up and admit to him how I felt. I told him, "Thank you for coming into my life and showing me that my heart isn't as closed as I thought it was." Surprisingly, he did not run away in fear. Instead we ended up talking for hours. He opened up more and spoke to me about his past that he wasn't willing to share before. So, even if nothing happens to make my romantic heart take wing, we are better and closer friends because of what I did.
I guess, what I am saying is this: Do not live your life in such fear of pain, for yourself or the one you care for, that you do not take that risk and go for what can make you truly happy. Maybe more happy than you ever dreamed. =)
