VT's Notebook: Literotica Lessons

[VampiricTouch]

​Literotica has been a large part of my life. I’ve learned a lot and experienced a lot here in the SRP, a place I’ve come to make home. In the time that I have been writing on Literotica’s SRP, I think I’ve changed and grown as a writer. I’ve learned a lot about writing, whether they be from other cowriters, from reading, and or from writing. I’ve learned a lot about my own sexuality, what makes me tick, my motives... and more.

​Taking the time to look back, look at where I’m at now, and look forward, I hope to hash out some of those topics I've learned and the things that baffle me here, to capture some of those thoughts and how my head processes them. These are lessons I am still learning and have to remind myself to apply.

​Disclaimer 1: Many things might be quite obvious to people so please don’t make fun of me for stating the obvious.

​Disclaimer 2: Everything here is opinion, so please don’t take offense. A lot of it is related to style and story preference. You might not agree with me. It’s okay. I’m not claiming to be right. I’m just stating observations that I’ve picked up along the way.

​Disclaimer 3: I am not trying to be a know-it-all. Most of this is self observation. It is advice for myself. It probably does not pertain to you. Don't take this as a judgement of your writing in any way. Find your own style damnit.

1. Perfectly Flawed
2. Words - Substance and Fluff
3. Words - Conveying Sexuality
4. My Sexuality
5. Darker Places: Conversations of the mind...
6. ...

 

[VampiricTouch]

Perfectly Flawed

​I started writing on Literotica by creating characters that I wish I could be. Characters that were beautiful because I felt that I was not. Characters that were strong because I had my moments of weakness. Characters that were pristine, because I didn’t want them tainted like I was. Characters that were perfect. Because I was anything but.

​After all, who would like a flawed character? Let alone love her? Make love to her?

​My patience with perfection was short. I quickly got jealous of their perfectly white slate. I took pleasure in breaking them down, in tempting them with the secular, in fracturing the perfect visage that was built up, and breaking them.

​It took me a long time to realize that perfection got dull very quickly. No one is perfect. No one expects the characters to be perfect. In fact perfection was a fast recipe for a shallow story.

​My first memorable encounter was Shawn Carmichael. It was such a shock to find that she had diabetes. Something that could in no way be misconstrued as anything but a weakness. A flaw. But she was not weak. In fact, the steps of overcoming her weakness became a subtle display of her strength. A plot point in a much bigger scheme of her story.

​What drove this point home was when I met Rebecca Garrote. To find a woman who was absolutely irresistible. Who was occasionally wrong and hated admitting it. Who occasionally let their wants get the better of them. Who occasionally spoke before the words were processed through her brain. Who was not perfect. Flawed. But oh so irresistibly flawed. In fact, those flaws were what made me like her. Love her. Connect with her.

Perfectly Flawed

 

[VampiricTouch]

Words - Substance and Fluff

​I love words. I think I started out on Lit with a subconscious desire to write long sentences and big words. I was enamored by them. They were sweet. They made me feel intelligent. Better by comparison because I could write more, write bigger, write longer.

​​Writing should be like a girl’s skirt. Long enough to cover the important bits, but short enough to keep it interesting.

​This was a quote from my highschool english teacher. I really don’t know why it took me such a long time to remember this lesson, and to further apply it. Understanding that long words and longer posts were not necessarily a sign of quality was a hard pill to swallow.

​I think it was an even harder pill to swallow here on Lit, where writers will list “Able to write a minimum of 3 or 4 paragraphs a post” as a criteria. (I myself am guilty). A person’s posting length suddenly became incredibly important.I found myself padding posts. Throwing extra adjectives in to make a post longer. Wordy but with no actual substance.

​Don’t misunderstand. I’m not condoning short posts. This lesson for me was finding substance to write. Instead of using fluff for padding.

​This is a lesson I’m still learning. A harder lesson for me to apply, because for me to apply it, I have to actively question myself. Why am I writing this paragraph. What does it convey to the reader? What purpose does it have? If I don’t have anything to write, I have to push myself to think, and to carry the story forward, which I’m terrible at.

A wall of text does not make an awesome post.

​Some of my food for thought.

 

[Mav Unlimited]

*peeks in*

And you did it thrice!

Now I am wondering what it was.

 

[fr33ks33k]

*peeks in*

And you did it thrice!

Now I am wondering what it was.

You and me both.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

Iz curious

 

[marauder13]

Iz curious

What she said so eloquently.

 

[VampiricTouch]

Ugh... It started out as a place to stash things I learned about writing, about myself, about observations and thoughts and such. But as I wrote, I realized no matter how I phrased things, the result were several high handed paragraphs that made me sound like an arrogant know-it-all. Which was by no means the original intention. After 3 different "segments" of completely different topics, I gave up and wiped it.

 

[DarkWarrioress]

Ugh... It started out as a place to stash things I learned about writing, about myself, about observations and thoughts and such. But as I wrote, I realized no matter how I phrased things, the result were several high handed paragraphs that made me sound like an arrogant know-it-all. Which was by no means the original intention. After 3 different "segments" of completely different topics, I gave up and wiped it.

VT? Hon, this is YOUR thread. Where you dump whatever is in your head. Everyone else is merely a peeping Tom or Tomacita. It's not about you sounding high-handed or a know-it-all or arrogant. Write what you want. If it bothers you so much, write a disclaimer at the top of it that you don't mind people reading but they can keep their flipping comments (if any) to themselves. I'm guessing you're using this area to process stuff. Brain stuff. So, process already and forget that others may be reading.

 

[Britwitch]

Awww, spied this thread this morning, was looking forward to reading it!

Like Cait I think you should and you can write whatever the heck you like!
The opinions of others shouldn't factor into your decision at all.

 

[yeishia]

Maybe I could learn something from your high handed wisdom *giggles*

I am not one to give advise... I have posted then retracted or re-written what I have posted on more than one occasion while here on Lit.

I have been criticized because of this.

Now I mostly keep my thoughts and comments to myself.

However, having said that I do agree with Britwitch & Cait's post 100% ...with regards this thread V.T.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

thats really the whole point of having your opwn thread. Get things out without caring what others think. If they don't like it, they can leave. And anyone who judges you for what you write in your own space, well, I think the great philosopher Socrates put it best.."Fuck'em"

 

[Mav Unlimited]

I agree with the ladies.

 

[marauder13]

Having come back to see more traffic in the thread, I was very pleased to see that VT has put the content back in. Thank you very much for that.

Already, you have revealed a few little pearls of wisdom that I needed to see for myself. I know that was not your intent, but it is an added bonus to your sharing these thoughts, opinions and reflections on your writing.

 

[Firmhanded_Daddy]

VT,

We have had many exchanges over the time we have known each other. About a variety of subjects in writing, and in life.

You are very intellectual. That is not all you are. You are a great friend, a beautiful woman, you are many things. I have never seen you come off as arrogant or know-it-all. Just relax and put what you want, and what you need to here. It is your place. Don't sweat what people are going to think. This one is for you.

 

[VampiricTouch]

Words: Conveying Sexuality

How do you think about sexuality? For me, when I first started to write, I would want to go into full length to describe who I saw, and why I liked them. I don’t believe that’s wrong, but I also don’t think it’s how our brain notices an attractive person. At least it’s not how my brain notices an attractive person. Perhaps it’s better to say that if I were writing a character and their thoughts, it was an inaccurate description of how I felt they would think.

This came up as a thought experiment. What was my first thought when I saw someone cute? or sexy?

“Damn he’s hot.” or... “Would you check out that rack....” or “God she’s beautiful.” or “Those shoes. I want those shoes.”

Simple concepts, small sentences, short words. First impressions. After that, my thought, or eyes, would linger on the things that attracted me. The broad shoulders, the way his clothes carry the subtle definition of toned muscle. The way the skirt follows the curve of her ass. The way the cut of her shirt makes my eyes stare at her cleavage.

This isn’t just limited to first impressions. For me, it applied to sex. Especially since I was and still am inexperienced. I started writing sex with figurative words. Pretty little adjectives because really, I had no idea what I was talking about. Words were stolen from other writers, reshuffled and put up. After all, how do you write something you’ve never felt? How do you ask the blind of the color of the skies?

I love long sentences. But after meeting Owen, Jack Sullivan, and several other characters by the same writer, I started to wonder. Did I really think of such complicated words when I was having sex? Was I even this coherent to put such long pretty words together? I think most times I was too busy fucking. Perhaps short sentences had a place. At the very least to punctuate the feeling.

Perhaps my characters, should think similarly?

___________________________​

Thank you everyone for the moral support. I'm glad I'm not coming across as offensive. I don't want to be. Even if I'm allowed to. Thank you!

 

[VampiricTouch]

My Sexuality

I like sex. A lot. If I had my say, I’d want to be fucking. All the time.

I started Lit, not as a virgin, but I was close. Women liking sex sounded like a crime. It seemed wrong that I liked sex as much as I did. Something must've been wrong with me.

I was not very experienced. Never had an orgasm, and quite frankly, was quite scared of the idea of an orgasm. Sex... was frustrating. But still very much enjoyable. At the time I thought I wanted sex all the time because I never could get to that orgasm. Or I suppose, better phrased would be that I avoided it.

It reflected in my writing. Trying to describe a feeling that I never felt... just felt fake. Most of my writing on the subject, as mentioned before, was taken from what others wrote, pieces of what I was told clinically happened, and or what others told me of their own experience.

Writing it meant very little to me.

I felt nothing writing it. Felt less reading it. Tying it to the concept of writing long words and longer sentences, I ended up with these paragraphs that really had nothing but fluff. Dragging it out only made it worse.

The fourth and fifth excerpt of Illicit Imaginings was perhaps the first full on sex scene done after having experienced some of what I was missing. Being able to write straight smut in a contained environment taught me several things about what made me tick, both in writing and in reality.

I really hate slow sex. Both in reality and in threads. It’s maddening for me and practically impossible for me to maintain any amount of sexual tension. By my third post, if we haven’t started fucking, or changed position (if already fucking, and we've been in this damn position for 3 consecutive posts), I feel like I’m just taking my previous two posts, throwing it into a hat and writing the words in a semi coherent order as they come out. I mean, come on, how many ways can you say “thrust”?

I like it hard and fast, a little rough, but without violence, or even much play violence. Slaps, just hard enough to redden are awesome. Any more than that and I'll show you to the door.

I am not much fun for my foreplay, unless you force it, and you do it from the perspective of it being for your enjoyment.

Please let me suck your cock. Don't gag me.

Now that I’m a little bit wiser about my bedroom...

I love sex. A LOT. If I had my say, I’d want to be fucking. All the time...

 

[Lady Reiha]

*hands Vampy-chan a fortune cookie*



^________^

http://stimpy.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/pole.jpg

 

[VampiricTouch]

Darker Places: Conversations of the Mind

An ongoing conversation in my head hasn't left me alone for a few weeks now.
Dumping a piece of it here, for lack of other place to dump it without intruding upon another's peacefulness.
~~~~~~~​

Look. I don’t like this answer.

What? Why? It’s the only logical one you’ve gotten to. Will you throw it out now because of something as sentimental as “I don’t like it?”

You can’t look at friends this way. It’s. It’s inherently wrong.

Is it now? I’d say it’s human nature. How is this idea of “friend” not selfish? some contorted form of selfishness? You choose to hang out with someone because they're interesting. because both parties derive some sort of entertainment, or support, or.... something out of it.

Because it isn’t. Perhaps most relationships start that way. After all, you hang out with those whom you have attraction to. But what makes it become this "real" friend is when you reach a point of caring about the person and not what they provide

I’d say even that. Is selfish. What they provide is inherently tied to caring about the person. If the person is unhappy, it's normal to care about them. If they're unhappy, it means whatever you derived from them before, whether entertainment, or someone to depend upon, is effected in a bad way. Perhaps, you’re paying it forward. It's an "investment". Because you spend the time now, it stands to reason, that the person will "repay" the favor later on when you need that support. Perhaps you derive a sense of superiority? Empowerment? That you can offer solace to another? It would be difficult to say why people do what they do. It just seems if you boil it all down, stare everything objectively in the face, ... that's the conclusion. It's not a pretty one.

Well, that's how economists would definitely see it. we perform all actions with incentives in mind. So what incentive is there in social interactions/pairings? companionship, community, support, resource pooling, etc?

Social pairings? Fundamentally, entertainment. Humans are social creatures. They typically like to have a sense of belonging. Companionship, community, church, that's what its there for. A sense of security.

Ok, assuming an evolutionary role here, why did we develop those instincts? .

Humans vs. wild animals with claws and sharp teeth? There are strength in numbers. But having multiple people around causes issues. hence having some form of social hierarchy. Similar to an alpha wolf in a pack, or a stallion for the herd.

I don't think all relationships boil down to this

You said that you believe in real friends. Fine. How do you know? Will you ever know that you've achieved that? How are you so certain there isn't this "value extraction" thing going on? How do you know that there isn't this ulterior motive?

Some part comes down to trust. A kind of "fuck it"... and the rest is intuition.

You’ll have to do better than that to get me out of this. I'm having a hard time seeing past the value extraction

Well, truthfully all relationships have at least some component of value extraction. I mean, you don't maintain a real relationship with a dead person, they have nothing new to bring to the table. Similarly, I'm sure you still talk to your other half because he brings something to the table. It's Value Added, not Value Extracted. The question is does the relationship get beyond that stage. Are you willing for the scales to tip against you? Against you so far that there's no chance for them to repay the debt, and even more you don't care about them repaying the debt.

Soooo.... you will favor emotional garbage in favor of logic?

The concept of “Value Extraction” is not logic. It’s a theoretical framework. It’s a framework that is consistent. And yes, at every level, that framework will hold to some degree. But you can’t prove that framework.

You know, I really despise you. I despise how weak you are.

Oh good. The feeling's mutual then.