Voyeur/flirting girlfriend/outside place of work

[FantasisingMale]

I think I'm going to write this story myself. Just need to start an account on lit.

Based on an experience yesterday so it starts of based on a true event that gave me an idea for a story I'd like suggestions on how to develop.


Yesterday I asked my girlfriend, of 8 yrs so far, to pick me up from work. I saw her parked and waved and gave a 'ten minutes' gesture. When I looked again from another window where she couldn't see me saw a large van had parked in front of the left of her car. So his view of her was about 2 0 clock.

I then saw that she had noticed him watching her and she had started to glance back and play with her hair. I was genuinely surprised to see her flirting and enjoying the attention so openly as I was less than a few minutes away. I also enjoyed that she didn't know I was watching.

I walked over and sat in the passenger seat. At this point a large van driver from my work place got out, walked past, and she glanced at him. I made a joke about his weight and that she'd been flirting with him... to see if she'd admit it... and she joked back that she doesn't mind a man with a bit of weight. But said she wasn't flirting and gave me a smile and a tut. To suggest I was being silly, for want of a better word.

I returned to work to lock a few things up but I went back to the window. The large van driver had returned to his van and she was looking over to him, playing with her hair and enjoying, it seemed, his glances.

I was a bit jelous at this point as the van driver now knew she was my girlfriend, knew she had been waiting for me knowing I'm literally across the road and here she was flirting with him. I'll have to see him at work, joking about with his mates and he'll know that my beautiful girlfriend was flirting with him.

That is the premise to the story. I think I might write it as a slow building story with more flirting rather than the usual wife gets fucked at work story.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Guys seem to expect other guys to be psychic in your world. She could have easily been your sister, cousin hell as it's described in your scenario co-worker. If for some radical reason you're going to be upset here the person would be your GF not some random guy who knows nothing about what's going on.

That said you seem to have your story idea put together very well here. I mean aside from the debatable point that I'm not sure how this really qualifies for an erotic story unless someone is really brave enough to strip in broad daylight where anybody could see. Otherwise this is more of a story beginning than a story.

I'm seeing this like Batman. . .if the entire story was "I want to see Zorro/Grey Ghost/Scarlet Pumpernickel/whatever rich masked man is in vogue at the moment with my parents. We came out and my parents got shot. i was very sad and angry." Don't get me wrong, it's important but the real story is everything that happens AFTER that point.

 

[MyRubiLips]

I think I'm going to write this story myself. Just need to start an account on lit.

You have an account on Lit.

 

[FantasisingMale]

Guys seem to expect other guys to be psychic in your world. She could have easily been your sister, cousin hell as it's described in your scenario co-worker. If for some radical reason you're going to be upset here the person would be your GF not some random guy who knows nothing about what's going on.

That said you seem to have your story idea put together very well here. I mean aside from the debatable point that I'm not sure how this really qualifies for an erotic story unless someone is really brave enough to strip in broad daylight where anybody could see. Otherwise this is more of a story beginning than a story.

I'm seeing this like Batman. . .if the entire story was "I want to see Zorro/Grey Ghost/Scarlet Pumpernickel/whatever rich masked man is in vogue at the moment with my parents. We came out and my parents got shot. i was very sad and angry." Don't get me wrong, it's important but the real story is everything that happens AFTER that point.

I suppose it could be easy enough to have the male kiss the GF after the first flirtation. And then from that point afterwards the van driver would be aware it was his GF.

Yeah it's just a story idea at the minute. A premise. I'm really not sure how it would unfold from there but the reality of it already happening made me want to write a story about it. And to take it much further.

 

[FantasisingMale]

You have an account on Lit.

I think I meant a writers account. Rather than just posting ideas on here all the time.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I suppose it could be easy enough to have the male kiss the GF after the first flirtation. And then from that point afterwards the van driver would be aware it was his GF.

Yeah it's just a story idea at the minute. A premise. I'm really not sure how it would unfold from there but the reality of it already happening made me want to write a story about it. And to take it much further.

True. I mean I'm not sure I'd assume he's still watching but that's at least a viable answer to the scenario as you've presented it.

And I wasn't knocking it as a story premise. I wasn't really meaning to knock it at all though I often come across that way. My point was that a story idea generally starts off either at the middle or the end and kinda worms it's way back to the beginning. With a few exceptions. Again to use Batman you start with the concept of a costumed crime fighter and then work on his origin not the other way around. Without going to look at police records I'd be willing to bet that at least one kid loses their parents to violence every year. Batman is unique because of where he ended up not where he started.

And it's a good premise. Ilike what you've got.

 

[MyRubiLips]

I think I meant a writers account. Rather than just posting ideas on here all the time.

One account, two functions.