Voyage of discovery
- Thread starter bluespoke
- Start date
Dhalgren
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2001
- Posts
- 738
Love verses sexual desire…
So often you see people relaying how they have hidden themselves sexually..because they are with a partner that may never understand the wants and needs of their lover.
Even in the straight World..you’ll find women who’ve been with one man their entire lives; who have refused to go down on them..women who won’t give head to their man..because they find it to be “icky.”
Gay bottoms who liked a guy very much..except that they are both bottoms..and that simply will never do.
Switches who find wonderful gratification from their Dom..but know they will never get to Domme him.
It is interesting..
Would I give up my lover because he didn’t do something I wanted?
Well, I do have a lover that would do anything in the spectrum that I wanted..
I’m the one not giving him what he needs…and I know he would just love to see me open up to my own sexuality for my own personal growth.
He knows our bonds run deeper than sex, pleasure, pain, happiness, perfect days and nights.
I suddenly feel extremely lucky right this very now.
So often you see people relaying how they have hidden themselves sexually..because they are with a partner that may never understand the wants and needs of their lover.
Even in the straight World..you’ll find women who’ve been with one man their entire lives; who have refused to go down on them..women who won’t give head to their man..because they find it to be “icky.”
Gay bottoms who liked a guy very much..except that they are both bottoms..and that simply will never do.
Switches who find wonderful gratification from their Dom..but know they will never get to Domme him.
It is interesting..
Would I give up my lover because he didn’t do something I wanted?
Well, I do have a lover that would do anything in the spectrum that I wanted..
I’m the one not giving him what he needs…and I know he would just love to see me open up to my own sexuality for my own personal growth.
He knows our bonds run deeper than sex, pleasure, pain, happiness, perfect days and nights.
I suddenly feel extremely lucky right this very now.
so is it better to live your life not knowing your true desires or to know who and what you are and have the heartache of not being able to find fulfillment with someone you love.
for me it is a question of what woudl be more important - having every single sexual desire grstified or being with someone who loves and cares for me as i do them.
As a bisexual this is not a hypothetical question for me. I am attracted to men and women and although it is the person I fall in love with i am attracted to and desire the parts that make them masculine or feminine. If I stay with one person i will not be fulfilling my desire for the other gender - I know this is why a lot of people consider that bisexuals are no good at monogamous relaitonships - may be we aren't or maybe we are just like all of the rest of you and somewhere along the line we have to decide between long-term love and getting all our itches scratched.
I think we are lucky if we get 75% of our needs and desires met - the only really bad news is when you are getting less than 50% of your needs met sexually and/or if your partner does not want ot talk about or admit to anything else.
My partner knows that I will always be attracted to women and that that is something he can never give me - I know the same for him with men. that I can live with. I could not live with hiding that truth however - like Dhalgren I suddenly feel very lucky in my relationship.
for me it is a question of what woudl be more important - having every single sexual desire grstified or being with someone who loves and cares for me as i do them.
As a bisexual this is not a hypothetical question for me. I am attracted to men and women and although it is the person I fall in love with i am attracted to and desire the parts that make them masculine or feminine. If I stay with one person i will not be fulfilling my desire for the other gender - I know this is why a lot of people consider that bisexuals are no good at monogamous relaitonships - may be we aren't or maybe we are just like all of the rest of you and somewhere along the line we have to decide between long-term love and getting all our itches scratched.
I think we are lucky if we get 75% of our needs and desires met - the only really bad news is when you are getting less than 50% of your needs met sexually and/or if your partner does not want ot talk about or admit to anything else.
My partner knows that I will always be attracted to women and that that is something he can never give me - I know the same for him with men. that I can live with. I could not live with hiding that truth however - like Dhalgren I suddenly feel very lucky in my relationship.
Oh Oh! Wouldn't it be a wonderful life if we did not have to make compromises? I am finally at a place in my life where I don't have to worry about providing for children, pleasing parents or any of the other things that have gotten in the way of me being able to live my life to it's fullests.
Bluespoke, you are so very right about the intensity of the BDSM relationship. The trust issue alone makes our relationships so very rich. The trust I have in my partner is not just in the bedroom but permeates every aspect of our lives. It is a beautiful thing I have never found in another type of relationship. Even if we were unable for some reason to play hard the trust would still be there. Our BDSM experience is what gave us the arena to allow that trust grow. In the early months of our relationship we would fly high on the closeness we felt for days after playing. It was almost tangable the way our love and closeness grew. We called it "feeling the steps". We would be very aware of being steps higher in our closeness, trust, love and bonding.
Petrel, you pose some very compelling questions. Often I wonder if the average person ever considers these questions. It appears people who live alternative lifestyles have to ask and then decide.
Bluespoke, you are so very right about the intensity of the BDSM relationship. The trust issue alone makes our relationships so very rich. The trust I have in my partner is not just in the bedroom but permeates every aspect of our lives. It is a beautiful thing I have never found in another type of relationship. Even if we were unable for some reason to play hard the trust would still be there. Our BDSM experience is what gave us the arena to allow that trust grow. In the early months of our relationship we would fly high on the closeness we felt for days after playing. It was almost tangable the way our love and closeness grew. We called it "feeling the steps". We would be very aware of being steps higher in our closeness, trust, love and bonding.
Petrel, you pose some very compelling questions. Often I wonder if the average person ever considers these questions. It appears people who live alternative lifestyles have to ask and then decide.
