voting/comments

[chance2sai]

What is the percentile number of folks that typically either rate a story or provide feedback? I have about 800 hits on one of my two stories (the older of the two) and about 2K hits on the newest. Neither have any feedback and each only has 4 votes. The reason I'm curious is that the math worked out pretty simply that the lastest vote was a 1/5. I am ok with getting a low rating as I'm a fledgling hobby writer at best, but would like some constructive feedback if I'm going to get the lowest of the marks.

I guess the questions are:
What is the average number of hits a story gets?
Is there any kind of percentile of readers that typically add a rating?
How rare/common are comments?

I suppose while I'm here, I can pimp my latest story... It's found here.

Any feedback on the questions/stories would be most appreciated.

Thanks,
Chance

 

[sr71plt]

There's no way of telling--too many variables--and no real realistic payoff in speculating.

 

[chance2sai]

*sigh* Guess I shouldn't have dared to hope for some sense of order.

Thank you for the reply all the same.

Chance

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Number of views doesn't necessarily correspond to the number of people that actually read the story. There are plenty that might have clicked on the title, read the first paragraph and then clicked back. Random spider hits etc. So number of view isn't actually number of real views. I also don't know the percentage of people that actually bother to vote even if they reach the end of the story. (I know I'm very bad at this myself).

In answer to the other questions it seems to vary on which section you write in. Some produce a lot of comments (not necessarily a good thing - you'll see plenty of threads from the poor souls who sent their first stories into loving wives.), some high scores, some a lot of votes.

I read the story and my biggest problem was I didn't feel very involved as a reader. It felt like something special between two other people that didn't really let the reader in. Maybe if I knew more about the characters. As it was it didn't really hold my interest. Sorry.

 

[EnglishRoseFox]

I know that I have had a lot of people read my story but not vote or comment as they have told me in my thread or by PM, but left no feedback so I am in the same position.

How do you tell how many hits you have had on it?

Also why do I have to rate my own story when I leave a reply comment? Is there any way around this as of course I'm going to give it 100

I have of course had the typical 'flaming' comments too which are always anonymous and one even used another users name to post one but not logged in as him. You would think some people would have better things to do wouldnt you? x

 

[chance2sai]

ManyeyedHydra - Thank you for the feedback. Your comment, "It felt like something special between two other people that didn't really let the reader in." Very intuitive comment. I wrote the story initially for someone in particular who very much identified with the characters without elaboration. I reread it after she agreed to share it here for a wider audience. I thought that since it was a short story, the reader might not need the full background. It would either let it be mysterious or let the reader fill in their own blanks and make it more personal. I suppose that is me projecting... Your comment is well taken. I will keep the character development in mind in the future and try to bring them out a bit.

EnglishRoseFox - As far as the hits, I just see them in my view submissions page. No idea on how to comment on one's own work.

 

[Noira]

Whew, I'm almost critiqued out after writing a long one on another story here... yeah, beware, I am t3h scary long critiquifier.

But hey.

I read the story. You want criticism. I can't very well DENY that, can I?

It wasn't for me so much that it was 'between two characters who didn't let me in'. There was a bit of that but I wouldn't have called it out. It felt like the goal was just to get to the sex, and since that's acceptable, hey. That's acceptable. Less story, more jack-off material? Not quite, but kinda there. But yeah. It didn't let us in. They were nameless figures who... well...

It was easy for me to get into. I have the good fortune of having two similar characters (I have not yet published anything on Literotica, so you needn't search), and I was capable of applying their physical appearances and names unconsciously in my head to the similar personality, and that gave me an assosiation with them. It made them more than nameless people who just made love. It took that imagination, though, to get me into it and enjoy it. I did enjoy it, because of that.

I wished it had been better edited. It was a nice, sweet... is that the right word? No, not really... it was a nice story, though. But there were things that tore me out of it, little mistakes that weren't supposed to be there. A lot of comma mistakes. A few others.

She punched him in the chest with all her strength and brought a knee up with caught him in the thigh.

WHICH caught him in the thigh...

"Watch," she said and he complied(,) staring down at her.

She held his gaze as she licked him along his length(,) alternately flicking her tongue or kissing.

Added periods in the brackets. They add pause to your sentences and make them easier to manage in the mind. So, proofread before you submit. These things do gain lower ratings, I guess.

And I found you had a few descriptions that to me, were quite awkward. You were relying too much on the vocabulary words, and not enough on the characters to drive things home.

Any tenderness in his touch had vanished replaced with firm resolve. His clutch of her hair was now sharp and urgent. He led her tersely to the side of the couch and bent her over the arm pressing her face down into the cushions before releasing her. Perhaps she would have felt exposed had she been made to stand there as he had done before, but there was no time for that today.

Blah blah blah, there's too many words. Okay? Okay. It's not that the words are bad, it's just how they're crammed in there, and it doesn't take that much to fix it. I'm sure if you keep it up, in a year you'll look back and cringe. My writing, a year ago, looked like that too. But try something more like... like...

"If he had been tender, it vanished, turning into firm resove. His fingers locked into her hair, tightening, the clutch now sharp and urgent. Leading her to the side of the couch, he bent her over the arm and pressed her face down into the cushions before releasing her. Perhaps she would've felt exposed if she had stood in that position before, but there was no time for that today."

Also, rewriting that, I found what may possibly be the problem with 'leading us into the character's lives'.

It's not that you introduced them badly. It's that you didn't get into their heads. It could have become a point of view segment, where...

"She could feel his fingers pulling into her hair, tightening, sharp and urgent. If he had been tender before, he was now resolved as he led her quickly to the side of the couch. He bent her over and pressed her face into the wool cushions, scraping against the fabric until he finally released her hair. She didn't have time to feel exposed."

You did a bit too much telling and not so much showing. You could have described things, touches and smells and sounds here and there. When you did have sounds, they jerked me out of the story, like this one here...

"Ooof." was his immediate reply.

"He grunted in reply" is a little less... hilarious.

The kiss lasted but a moment. She had placed her hands on his chest and tried to shove him away. He smiled knowingly and simply tightened his arms around her waist as she strained and struggled vainly.

"Do you really want to walk away?" he growled.

(whistles)
Oh, but that was HOT. You didn't necessarily need the passive 'had' in there. 'She placed her hands on his chest...' is entirely suitable and makes it IMMEDIATE instead of a past tense.

But.

Whew. Hot stuff there. That was likely my favorite part of the story. Her faking the struggle, the bit of control exchange, it felt like teasing and foreplay rather than really being there so much... they were having fun with it. A lot of fun. And it came through there, and showed up as an intensive, hawt bit of dialogue and description.

They're enjoying it.

That was totally my favorite line in the story.

Anyway, yeah. Build on what you have. You have interesting characters and ideas. A hot story but it's less likely to draw people in because of the way you tossed the characters at us. Description was good. Proofreading would've been a good idea.

But, y'know? My writing felt like that a year ago and it improved as I kept writing. I wasn't quite sure what was wrong with it, didn't understand what the nameless characters did to my work, or the passive voice overused dampened the work...

You'll get there. There's a lot of potential in here and I think this story, and the concept, is really good. Bits of hot stuff. Build on the good and work on nitpicking the not-so-good. I'd start with a proofreader/beta reader/editor/whathaveye.

No infringment meant on rewriting a paragraph for an example. Purely for example. If you do edit, remember this critique is only my opinion and my opinion of great writing isn't everyone's. Keep at it!

 

[chance2sai]

Wow, now that's what I'm talking about!

Thank you, Noira. I feel like quite the novice dipping my toe in this pool. I really appreciate you taking the (considerable) time to help. Your "critiquifying" is most welcome.

You mentioned editing... I didn't know you could do that once it is posted. If that is the case, I will at least go fix the with=which error and the commas. I don't want to polish it too much after the fact. I like the idea behind your comment. "I'm sure if you keep it up, in a year you'll look back and cringe." The idea of seeing noticeable improvement is compelling.

As for the editor/proofreader, the point is well taken. I will seek out more experienced help next time.

Thank you again,
Chance