Vote for condoms

[Guest]

This was some feedback I just got today.

In Green Rose it's simple....use a rubber and get a "1". Congratulations!

Is this person a fucking idiot, or am I?

Is the feedbacker voicing a common opinion? It sounds like a stupid piece of generalization to me. But I'm still pretty new to erotica, and come to think of it, condoms don't feature that often here.

Is it just because they're sometimes hard to put on, and men find them distracting? Do women find them a turn-off?

Please vote for/against condoms in erotica.

 

[Guest]

Well the feedbacker explained to me that it was that he (I presume he) felt that condoms were not natural, and therefore a turn off.
Which shows how parochial I am in my cosy European liberalism, I guess.

 

[Whispersecret]

Inclusion of a condom in an erotic story doesn't usually affect my enjoyment of it, if the rest of it is well-written. If the story is bad, though, it'll just be one more nail in its coffin.

I wrote a story called "A Hint of Gorgonzola," in which the characters wisely used a condom. They were strangers, after all. My rationale? Often the situations of erotic stories are so outrageous, that I feel I need to inject little details of realism to keep the story grounded.

I don't always write about contraceptives, though. Like I voted, it's pretty immaterial to me. Certainly the asshole who sent you that feedback was out of line. One detail like that isn't enough to give a story a one, at least, not in my book.

 

[pinklipstick]

IRL, I'm fanatic about protected sex. So I don't think I'd ever be turned off by a reference to it in a story. But I think it really depends on if it's a stroke piece or a story with a bit of background. If there is buildup/background and the author attaches me to the characters, I've had times where I've consciously noted the lack of protection. Granted, it's situational. If the story is about a wife/husband, then really, it's not necessary. But if it's new partner sex, to me, the reference to a condom actually makes the story more real. If your story revolves around a blonde with a 48DDDDDDD chest and a stud with a 12" schlong, omitting the condom really doesn't make much a difference (as obviously reality isn't the focus).

 

[peachykeen]

In my story A Chemistry Experiment the characters use a condom. It's somewhat integral to the plot of the story, which is meant to be highly realistic. Neither of my other current ones do but in them it is not as essential. Personally I find nothing unsexy per se about condoms; just a fact of modern life.

 

[medjay]

Condoms in erotica make no difference to me. It can work and be a nice touch in the right story.

I do, however, hate seeing condoms in pornos.

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

It seems to me that contraception, not necessarily condoms --
but some form of contraception, is integral to most modern
sex. If it is a pregnant woman, or a married (or even
unmarried) couple seeking children, that is one thing.
"I'm not mntioning it" doesn't fly with me.
But, I've had the same response to one of my stories.
That story atually turned on a condom.

 

[Guest]

I seek to understand everyone and everything. Me and my feedbacker entered a little correspondence.

If anyone wants to collaborate writing a story with this chap, I have his email address.

Here's what Don sez: (My feedbacker).


Yes, I take a keen look at these fantasy stories and I
downgrade them whenever possible if birth control is used, as low as I
possibly can, to keep them down low enough to where the author(s) do not
enjoy any high grading, mostly out of spite for lack of a better term.
Have you ever authored one of these stories with a woman that might also be
an author? I'd like to find one and do a story with her doing a woman's
angle together with my male one. It might prove interesting. Perhaps we
need to both [Personal stuff deleted] find 2 women to do a story
with in a Group setting?
Thanks for your feedback. Don

 

[Whispersecret]

LOL. You must be joking. I have zero interest in collaborating with him. There's something wrong with a guy who is that "spiteful" about something as unimportant as the appearance of contraceptives in an erotic story.

Still, if you find some female who IS willing to work with him, don't give out his addy without permission.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Voting 1 just to spite an author is plain childish in my book.

I like condoms in a story, it makes it more realistic, and, if it's written well, can actually make the story even more erotic.

 

[takingchances42]

Erotica is by its very nature safe sex, as well as fantasy. The use of a condom in a story does turn me off. Sexuality and personal tastes vary a great deal, and getting into _value judgments_ about what turns individual people on or off in erotica is pretty useless.

I wouldn't make a "1" vote in spite, or write a nasty feedback about it. But the chances of the story getting a "5" go down, for me. More likely I just wouldn't vote.

 

[peachykeen]

oh my god I cannot belive my eyes! but then again, I guess I can. But downvoting a story because it features any mention of contraception, regardless of how good it might otherwise be? That is so pathetic and immature! What is wrong with that guy?

 

[karmadog]

I actually intended to use a condom in my last story, but once I started writing the foreplay, I guess I forgot. Next thing I knew the story kept getting bigger. Much bigger than I'd intended. I'm not sure if the two were related, but...

 

[Guest]

I'm not sure if the two were related, but...

...now the herione of your story is two weeks late, I know.

 

[peachykeen]

was just in the shower and turning this guys comments over in my mind. Can't figure out what motivates someone like that. "Out of spite", to keep an author from getting a high rating? All I can say is he better fucking look out when the karma truck starts backing up. What a fuckhead.

 

[Guest]

Peachykeen,

...my reaction is to try and understand, get into their head.

I come from such a different background that I genuinely did not understand him, I thought he meant that condoms were a turn off because they were a pain to use!

I gently asked him the obvious question, whether jerking off to erotic stories was ok...

So he has paradoxical views -- I wonder how he manages to do it. I find it pretty interesting...

The only shudder I get is when I think of Salman Rushdie, Solzhenitzin, or Oscar Wilde, and how fucked up their lives were by persecution.

This guy took the trouble to reply, and he gave me his email address, AND he made an attempt at explaining his views once I showed I wasn't so much offended as curious. So we communicated, a little.
So I don't really think there's much wrong with that. I don't agree with him at all, but I have no desire to persuade him to vote my or any other story any differently.

Spite (or revenge) is a pretty common motivation for a lot of things we all do. I bet I'd probably vote his story a 1 out of spite, however good a writer he turned out to be!

 

[peachykeen]

I hear ya Josh, trying to get inside his head was what I meant when I said I was turning his comments over in my mind. I just don't get it though. I mean fair enough that he was willing to engage in a dialogue with you about it but his comments seem pretty resolute. He is not just saying "I don't like this," but "I will go out of my way to try to hurt anyone who puts this in a story." What the fuck is that about?

As far as acting out of spite, I don't get that much either. It seems so highly emotionally unevolved. If you make actions out of spite, then you are effectively allowing another person to govern your behavior, because you are acting only out of reaction to them and not of your own independent thought. It is a way of not taking responsibility for yourself, of allowing and external locus of control. Personally I choose to be more conscious and powerful than that and own my own life, all of it.

 

[Guest]

Ok, peachy, I admit, I felt pissed off, I had the same feeling as when I see someone has "keyed" my car -- made a big scratch mark down the side.
The big BUT (not big BUTT) is that he did give a reply address, which to my mind makes him unusual, and very different from your usual spiteful downvoter.

Okay, let me play devil's advocate. Lets take, oh, I don't know, father/daughter incest. I may find this so disgusting and immoral that I'd "go out of my way" on a moral crusade against writers who appear to be condoning it. I'd probably articulate my reasons slightly differently than my feedbacker, but it would be kind of the same thing.

 

[bimishka]

hmmm...well personally i have never used contraception in my poems because in my fantasies i dont actually imagine the condom...also my poems r more emotionally involved, instead of just stroke stories...but in real life i am fanatical about safe sex and in fact u can make the whole "putting the condom on" thing sexy...i would never downgrade a story because it had contraception in it...in fact it would prolly get a higher mark from me because i would imagine that it would be more realistic...and i tend to prefer more realistic circumstances in erotica because i personally belive the best erotic literature is the stuff that u read suddenly popping into ur head as ur going about ur daily life...i think its good of u to try to understand where the guy is coming from so u can learn how to be critical of ur own writing, but the fact that the guy voted u a 1 for a single issue and then felt the need to email u and tell u about it was kind of an asshole-like thing to do...especially when he actually states that he does it "out of spite"...i mean how much time does this guy have on his hands that he feels the need to be "spiteful" toward people who r testing their literary hand?...i have read many stories that i havent liked but i didnt feel the need to email the author and be a bitch about it...i just figure theres gotta be someone out there who enjoys this and im just not one of them...fair enough...move on...of course maybe im still just irritated by the guy who emailed me my first feedback on my poem "missed opportunity" saying that i lived a pathetic life if all i was doing was pining over one guy...hello!!!...its erotic lit...i had someone in front of me who inspired me...u exaggerate ur fantasies and feelings in writing (or at least i do)...its not necessarily reflective of what u have going on in ur life...i mean after all the majority of people who write incest stories arent ACTUALLY fucking their siblings...but whatever...this rant is gettin a lil long...good for u that u imagine responsible characters...maybe i should start doing that...

mishka

 

[SlickTony]

Peachykeen, just had to say how I liked your saying about the karma truck backing up.

 

[its Leslie]

I have never used a condum in my life eh. But I was a virgin groom and have not strayed in 16 years, so I have not had the need for the use of one.

But it makes me think hmmmm condums in erotica hmmmm.

Well technically erotica is fantasy and fantasy is always perfect (hence the term fantasy). Or at least all my fantasies are perfect heheh.
But now that I think of it, condums are a very real part of a very real reality. Plenty can happen to ya while dipping your wick anywhere ya please.

If condums are part of a sane intelligent persons life, why should they not appear in our stories. After all a good story is one that just feels real (to me at least). Being so caught up you actually can SEE the story (well at least when I read I can see the story) should include real world elements too. And condums are real.

Of course there are those that will hate the intrusion, and I must confess I too don't like seeing condums in adult imagery. But if I was the guy in the pick I sure would have something on my gear if I had no idea where her gear had been.

Maybe I will work condums into my future work. After all I don't want anything nasty happening to my fictional people hehe

 

[SlickTony]

I don't have a problem with a few elements of realism in an erotic story--a lot of times if it's too too fantastical, it doesn't work. The same reason I like to see a little motivation, a little buildup in a story.

 

[NoJo]

I have never used a condum in my life eh. But I was a virgin groom and have not strayed in 16 years, so I have not had the need for the use of one.

Just wanted to point out something here. Condoms are birth control, not std control. I know we forget things like that sometimes. Sometimes, a husband and wife want to fuck without her getting pregnant, and she doesn't want to, or is unable to use an IUD.

For some reason I was just reminded of Monty Python quote from their lampoon of a men's magazines Men Only section in their book:

"Hey, guys, did you know that a penis can also be used for peeing."

 

[SlickTony]

I suppose that condoms could be STD control, if you are very controlled and sanitized in your methods of lovemaking, and don't stray from the main event very much. I've heard of using dental dams for oral sex on a woman, but that really doesn't sound very appealing--it seems like part of the New Squeamishness, i.e., the feeling that people have about having anything to do with anything that anybody else might have had to do with. Also brings to mind that scene in--what was it, Naked Gun 2 1/2?--with Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley bumping around in person-sized condoms.

 

[Guest]

As a woman, I must say that having a condom in a story is a turn on... especially if the couple(triple/quad...) haven't talked about birth control. It shows a respect for the woman. Disrespect is a definite turn off. There is nothing more unsettling than after a great time not knowing if there will be a new little one...

Voting stories down over a preference thing is ridiculous.

Technical note: As a sexually fulfilled wife and condom user I highly recommend the new urethane condoms-- my husband says they are MUCH better.