BadForm
Bad attitude in any Form
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2001
- Posts
- 4,550
Danny Johnson
I looked down at the... the butterfly? No, it wasn't a butterfly, for one thing butterflies didn't have humanoid bodies and talk in squeaky little voices. The fairy? But fairies didn't exist! The hallucination? It had to be, but it was a damn convincing one if that was the case - convincing enough that its squeaking cries had called my attention to its plight in the thorns of the college's rose bushes. It had been caught and seemed unable to free itself, and looking as pitiful as it did, I couldn't leave it there. I reached in, slashing my own skin as I struggled to free it without harming it, and then watched it bow its thanks.
"You freed me and now I can repay the favor..." The thing squeaked.
"What are you talking about? I'm not trapped in a bush!"
"No, you're trapped in a body - a human body which is worse... and what is it you people call your type? Geeks? I don't understand that but it seems if you're not big and muscular you're even more trapped when you're a human."
I just listened in bemusement.
"So, I'm going to repay you by freeing you - from now on, anything you state as fact will be true."
I snorted with laughter. I'd never even tried drugs, so this had to be a dream or something. Either that, or a visit to the college p-shrink was in order.
The thing continued to speak. "I'm not very powerful so there are limits. You won't be able to directly control anything's mind or emotions and this will only work if you add a time limit to the statement."
I blinked and shook my head, but the thing was still there. "Let me get this straight," I said, "You're saying anything I say will happen... well, as long as I don't control somoene's mind or forget to say a time? Yeah right!"
"Yes, right."
"Ok, then every second for the next minute a new $100 bill will appear in my wallet. See, nothing's happen..."
I reached into my pocket to pull out my wallet, but it seemed slightly thicker. Pulling harder I yanked it out, opened it and saw bills appearing there for the next few seconds.
"Holy shit!" I breathed, stuffing the wallet back in my pants before anyone else saw it. I took it out again a minute later to check they were still there after the time was over. They were, though no new ones appeared. "Ok... you got my attention..."
The fairy or whatever it was had disappeared. I stood fully and turned around in time to see a group of three girls coming towards me. They were from my math 101 class, Jazmin the Indian girl, Cherry the redhead and Jen the blonde. I'd been stupid enough to ask Jen out on a date the first time I saw her - hey, the fairy was right, I had no social skills outside of the chess club and lab - and she'd been making fun of me ever since she turned me down.
"What you doing, sicko, peeing in the roses?"
Her two friends laughed.
"Oh hi, Jen," I said with a friendly smile that hid the malicious revenge I had in mind. "You know, I thought I'd give you another chance... I know you don't feel like going on a date with me, but would you like to give me a bj right here and now?"
I saw the shock on her face turn to anger as she realized she had heard what I'd said correctly. I waited for what she did to decide just how mean I was going to be.
I looked down at the... the butterfly? No, it wasn't a butterfly, for one thing butterflies didn't have humanoid bodies and talk in squeaky little voices. The fairy? But fairies didn't exist! The hallucination? It had to be, but it was a damn convincing one if that was the case - convincing enough that its squeaking cries had called my attention to its plight in the thorns of the college's rose bushes. It had been caught and seemed unable to free itself, and looking as pitiful as it did, I couldn't leave it there. I reached in, slashing my own skin as I struggled to free it without harming it, and then watched it bow its thanks.
"You freed me and now I can repay the favor..." The thing squeaked.
"What are you talking about? I'm not trapped in a bush!"
"No, you're trapped in a body - a human body which is worse... and what is it you people call your type? Geeks? I don't understand that but it seems if you're not big and muscular you're even more trapped when you're a human."
I just listened in bemusement.
"So, I'm going to repay you by freeing you - from now on, anything you state as fact will be true."
I snorted with laughter. I'd never even tried drugs, so this had to be a dream or something. Either that, or a visit to the college p-shrink was in order.
The thing continued to speak. "I'm not very powerful so there are limits. You won't be able to directly control anything's mind or emotions and this will only work if you add a time limit to the statement."
I blinked and shook my head, but the thing was still there. "Let me get this straight," I said, "You're saying anything I say will happen... well, as long as I don't control somoene's mind or forget to say a time? Yeah right!"
"Yes, right."
"Ok, then every second for the next minute a new $100 bill will appear in my wallet. See, nothing's happen..."
I reached into my pocket to pull out my wallet, but it seemed slightly thicker. Pulling harder I yanked it out, opened it and saw bills appearing there for the next few seconds.
"Holy shit!" I breathed, stuffing the wallet back in my pants before anyone else saw it. I took it out again a minute later to check they were still there after the time was over. They were, though no new ones appeared. "Ok... you got my attention..."
The fairy or whatever it was had disappeared. I stood fully and turned around in time to see a group of three girls coming towards me. They were from my math 101 class, Jazmin the Indian girl, Cherry the redhead and Jen the blonde. I'd been stupid enough to ask Jen out on a date the first time I saw her - hey, the fairy was right, I had no social skills outside of the chess club and lab - and she'd been making fun of me ever since she turned me down.
"What you doing, sicko, peeing in the roses?"
Her two friends laughed.
"Oh hi, Jen," I said with a friendly smile that hid the malicious revenge I had in mind. "You know, I thought I'd give you another chance... I know you don't feel like going on a date with me, but would you like to give me a bj right here and now?"
I saw the shock on her face turn to anger as she realized she had heard what I'd said correctly. I waited for what she did to decide just how mean I was going to be.
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