Visiting a dungeon

[DarkLover]

I'd like to hear from anyone who has visited a dungeon after finding one online. I'm talking about a place where you pay someone else to dominate you. What were your experiences like? How often do you do it? Would you do it again?

I'm asking because my wife and I had a very intimate weekend in which we talked about some of our deepest secrets. We both have very submissive tendencies, so I play Dom in the bedroom for her sometimes, but she is not comfortable doing it for me. However, she says she would have no objection to me visiting a professional Dominatrix. I'd like to find out more.

DarkLover

 

[neonflux]

I'd like to hear from anyone who has visited a dungeon after finding one online. I'm talking about a place where you pay someone else to dominate you. What were your experiences like? How often do you do it? Would you do it again?

I'm asking because my wife and I had a very intimate weekend in which we talked about some of our deepest secrets. We both have very submissive tendencies, so I play Dom in the bedroom for her sometimes, but she is not comfortable doing it for me. However, she says she would have no objection to me visiting a professional Dominatrix. I'd like to find out more.

DarkLover

I have never engaged the services of a Dominatrix, but recently took a course taught by 3 Pro Dommes, two who are pretty well-known, one from Chicago, one from the SF Bay Area. In addition to just liking them a lot, I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. In imparting stories from both their personal and professional lives and in structuring the 22-hour intensive, they proved to be tremendously skilled, respectful, responsible and also knowledgeable about the psychological and spiritual aspects of BDSM. Where do you live? The Pro Domme who lives in the Bay Area also does couples' "learning" sessions. The other lives in Chicago - used to be a professional clown in a prior life and Goddess, is she funny. I'd be nervous about going to someone I'd never met or gotten a recommendation about before, just because there is no way to know how skilled someone is beforehand. Is there a "kink" community in your area where you can search, ask for advice, etc?

Other alternative - have you thought about opening the relationship a little, if only for play (non-sexual)?

Good luck,
Neon

 

[Netzach]

Why don't you go together? Most professionals are elated to work with couples, can make it hot for the two of you and often do not charge additional fees for women to come along either to watch or participate.

You could Dom her while the lady directs you both, it could be hot if you both like that kind of thing.


There are review-oriented communities online for people looking for pros, take the reviews with a generous grain of salt, but if 9 people say the same thing about the person you're considering and it's not good, you may want to keep looking. Google will get you to them.

 

[DarkLover]

Other alternative - have you thought about opening the relationship a little, if only for play (non-sexual)?

Good luck,
Neon

Yes, my wife did also say that she would like to go with me if I went to a Dominatrix.

I live in Wisconsin, by the way, so maybe that Domme from Chicago that you mentioned wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility. Any idea where to find her online?

DarkLover

 

[neonflux]

Yes, my wife did also say that she would like to go with me if I went to a Dominatrix.

I live in Wisconsin, by the way, so maybe that Domme from Chicago that you mentioned wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility. Any idea where to find her online?

DarkLover

Hi, her professional name is Mistress Eve Minax. And she's wonderful. If you do see her, please PM me so that you can tell her I referred you.

 

[Hecate]

personal thoughts

Hi there,

I can just speak from my personal experience and as I am living on the other side of th sea (= Europe) I can not give any direct recomendations as to a specific Dominatrix/Dungeon to contact.

I do visit a dungeon with my toy several times a year, engaging the service of a Pro Domme.

This may sound odd to people knowing me as I am a Domme myself with quite some years of experience and what I would in the meantime call a semi-pro background. Nevertheless, I love to

a) have access to a Pro environment in terms of playrooms and accessoirs which simply can not decently be incorporated into your everyday living environment

b) experiment with extreme play I have no education for (in our case medical) but want my partner to experience and at the same time I want me to learn those things so I can safely administer the same treatment eventually

Those visits have expanded my view on the things I dare do - and have shown me surprising sides of the things I like to do ... I would like to think I have grown in my role and developed further interests in the realm of BDSM than I would have had without having had the chance to discover "safely guided" compared to a strictly "private bedroom" environment - or at least I would have taken much longer to discover and safely explore those realms, which would have been an awfull waste of time seeing how much I now enjoy many of the things learned in those "Pro accompanied" sessions.

I know that I am speaking from a completely different background, but I can recommend such a visit together. You just need to be clear between the two of you and towards the Domme as to what you want to achieve in this session .... should it be a "lesson/inspiration" for your wife or do the both of you want to enjoy the Domination in a scene together?

Whatever it is you want - if you let the Dominatrix of your choice openly know what you are after in advance, I am sure she will make it a worthwhile experience .... enjoy!

 

[stiguy22]

Hi, her professional name is Mistress Eve Minax. And she's wonderful. If you do see her, please PM me so that you can tell her I referred you.

What are the prices?

 

[neonflux]

What are the prices?

Sorry, don't know. Have only taken classes from her. I think you'd need to contact her directly for that.

 

[neonflux]

Hi there... I do visit a dungeon with my toy several times a year, engaging the service of a Pro Domme.

This may sound odd to people knowing me as I am a Domme myself with quite some years of experience and what I would in the meantime call a semi-pro background...

Hi Hecate, Personally, it doesn't surprise me at all. Actually makes perfect sense. There's always more to learn, and who better to learn it from than someone else who is also a pro. I am going to be re-doing the website for a Pro Domme here who I greatly respect. We have talked about doing some of it "in trade." Then again, I'm a beginnner with a whole world to learn.

In keeping with this thread, have a question - you must know a fair amount of women in the field so how do you choose who you choose? What criteria do you use?

Neon

P.S., I have always loved both your name and your avatar.

 

[SirFace]

Question. Is there such a thing as a professional Dom (male) that a couple could go to learn things?

 

[Sheaf_Beast]

Question. Is there such a thing as a professional Dom (male) that a couple could go to learn things?

In a word, yes.

 

[Kajira Callista]

In a word, yes.

Does he look like the guy in your av?

 

[Shankara20]

I have never engaged the services of a Dominatrix, but recently took a course taught by 3 Pro Dommes, two who are pretty well-known, one from Chicago, one from the SF Bay Area.

Any chance you would tell us who they are and what the workshop was about? I may know them and I'm hungry for a little news from my old home.

If not, thats ok.

 

[Shankara20]

I'd like to hear from anyone who has visited a dungeon after finding one online. I'm talking about a place where you pay someone else to dominate you. What were your experiences like? How often do you do it? Would you do it again?

I'm asking because my wife and I had a very intimate weekend in which we talked about some of our deepest secrets. We both have very submissive tendencies, so I play Dom in the bedroom for her sometimes, but she is not comfortable doing it for me. However, she says she would have no objection to me visiting a professional Dominatrix. I'd like to find out more.

DarkLover

I found my ProDomme in the two San Francisco papers that advertise. My first experience with her was a gift from my wife-at-the-time. We both had several sessions with Ma'am as a couple. I will share more if you are interested and if you think it helps you and your wife.

 

[neonflux]

Any chance you would tell us who they are and what the workshop was about? I may know them and I'm hungry for a little news from my old home.

If not, thats ok.

Absolutely. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind a little promotion. In addition to Minax (actually in Chicago), mentioned below, it was taught by Cleo Dubois, who is one of the most amazingly powerful women I've ever met. (I am meeting with her tomorrow afternoon to start a re-do of her website ) The other woman who "assisted" was Selena Raven. Cleo developed and started teaching the course with Sybil Holliday.

Click here to link to a description of their men's intensive. Women's intensive is similar. They only accept between 8 - 9 people per course, and the women's intensives fill up quickly - one has to apply. The workshop I attended included women from Washington state, Minnesota, Texas and the East Coast. The men's doesn't fill up as fast, which I don't understand because the players' courses are so excellent - I can only describe the one I took as "life changing," for me at least. (I might serve as a volunteer sub for the next men's course, although would be more comfortable doing so for the next women's intensive).

My BDSM partner is going to the next one. We both took/are taking the "players'" course. They also teach an intensive course for Pros.

Neon

 

[Shankara20]

Absolutely. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind a little promotion. In addition to Minax (actually in Chicago), mentioned below, it was taught by Cleo Dubois, who is one of the most amazingly powerful women I've ever met. (I am meeting with her tomorrow afternoon to start a re-do of her website ) The other woman who "assisted" was Selena Raven. Cleo developed and started teaching the course with Sybil Holliday.

Click here to link to a description of their men's intensive. Women's intensive is similar. They only accept between 8 - 9 people per course, and the women's intensives fill up quickly - one has to apply. The workshop I attended included women from Washington state, Minnesota, Texas and the East Coast. The men's doesn't fill up as fast, which I don't understand because the players' courses are so excellent - I can only describe the one I took as "life changing," for me at least. (I might serve as a volunteer sub for the next men's course, although would be more comfortable doing so for the next women's intensive).

My BDSM partner is going to the next one. We both took/are taking the "players'" course. They also teach an intensive course for Pros.

Neon

Thanks - I knew Cleo and Sybil when I was back there.

 

[neonflux]

Thanks - I knew Cleo and Sybil when I was back there.

I figured that you might! Do you ever come back this way to visit?

 

[SirFace]

Thank you. I may discuss this with my pet. Sounds delicious.

Absolutely. I'm sure that they wouldn't mind a little promotion. In addition to Minax (actually in Chicago), mentioned below, it was taught by Cleo Dubois, who is one of the most amazingly powerful women I've ever met. (I am meeting with her tomorrow afternoon to start a re-do of her website ) The other woman who "assisted" was Selena Raven. Cleo developed and started teaching the course with Sybil Holliday.

Click here to link to a description of their men's intensive. Women's intensive is similar. They only accept between 8 - 9 people per course, and the women's intensives fill up quickly - one has to apply. The workshop I attended included women from Washington state, Minnesota, Texas and the East Coast. The men's doesn't fill up as fast, which I don't understand because the players' courses are so excellent - I can only describe the one I took as "life changing," for me at least. (I might serve as a volunteer sub for the next men's course, although would be more comfortable doing so for the next women's intensive).

My BDSM partner is going to the next one. We both took/are taking the "players'" course. They also teach an intensive course for Pros.

Neon

 

[Shankara20]

I figured that you might! Do you ever come back this way to visit?

Not yet, but I will...

 

[DarkLover]

I found my ProDomme in the two San Francisco papers that advertise. My first experience with her was a gift from my wife-at-the-time. We both had several sessions with Ma'am as a couple. I will share more if you are interested and if you think it helps you and your wife.

If you don't mind sharing, please do.

I of course am interested in being dommed. My wife would be interested in watching me be a sub or in subbing along with me.

Do you have any experience to share either way?

DarkLover

 

[Shankara20]

If you don't mind sharing, please do.

I of course am interested in being dommed. My wife would be interested in watching me be a sub or in subbing along with me.

Do you have any experience to share either way?

DarkLover

DL (ok to used that shorthand for DarkLover?)

I could make a long flowing story out of this, but I ‘ll try to keep it short.

After about 10 years of a marriage that was rather “open” for us both -consensually and clearly and often discussed, I started to discuss my interest in BDSM. I had reached the point of identifying a Pro Domme that I was interested in visiting. I even had one of her advertisements in my wallet.

Unknown to me, my wife was talking to a very close friend at her school about her concerns about my interests which she found unsettling. He was a M.D. and a lawyer and a teacher at the university she was attending and a friend of us both. After several conversations he came out to my wife as someone who used the services of a Pro Domme himself. He had long talks with her about BDSM and eventually introduced her to Ma’am and was given a tour of the dungeon.. Her fears resolved she asked me if I would accept a Pro Domme session as a christmas gift. I was totally blind sided and stunned - and it turned out to be with the same Pro Domme that I had an interest in visiting. When I showed my wife the ad in my wallet we both had a great laugh - them we called and scheduled my first session.

I wanted to bottom, to be dominated. After the session I met my wife at a restaurant close to the dungeon and told her everything that went on. Three days later she asked me if I wanted another session, this time with her in the room. I jumped at the chance. Ma’am went so far as to offer my wife some fetish clothing to use. During the session Ma’am invited my wife to play part and after the session was over Ma’am left and told us we could stay and play as long as we wanted. It did not go well for my wife. Unresolved issues about her childhood abuse surfaced and there was nothing about the experience she found of interest.

I continues to have sessions with Ma’am to the full knowledge of my wife for the next 4 years - the remaining time we were married. I could come home "marked" - bruised, but my wife and I did not talk in great detail about the sessions. My wife even hired Ma’am to give me a surprise spanking for my birthday - and that event I will post something about some day soon. My wife visited play parties with me several times over the years and each time she found that she just could not come to BDSM - and she fully supported me in finding a way to take care of me needs within mutually agreed upon boundaries of behavior.

We are now divorced and live in different cities. We are friends. I miss her at times, I also miss Ma’am at times.

I hope this gives you a bit of an overview. Let me know what questions you have.

PS - over time I became a swich, learned how to Top and now identify here as a bisexual Top (more-or-less)

Shank

 

[snowy ciara]

((((SHANK))))

Thank you for telling us.

 

[neonflux]

Sigh! I love your stories and the way in which you share. Thank you.

DL (ok to used that shorthand for DarkLover?)

I could make a long flowing story out of this, but I ‘ll try to keep it short.

After about 10 years of a marriage that was rather “open” for us both -consensually and clearly and often discussed, I started to discuss my interest in BDSM. I had reached the point of identifying a Pro Domme that I was interested in visiting. I even had one of her advertisements in my wallet.

Unknown to me, my wife was talking to a very close friend at her school about her concerns about my interests which she found unsettling. He was a M.D. and a lawyer and a teacher at the university she was attending and a friend of us both. After several conversations he came out to my wife as someone who used the services of a Pro Domme himself. He had long talks with her about BDSM and eventually introduced her to Ma’am and was given a tour of the dungeon.. Her fears resolved she asked me if I would accept a Pro Domme session as a christmas gift. I was totally blind sided and stunned - and it turned out to be with the same Pro Domme that I had an interest in visiting. When I showed my wife the ad in my wallet we both had a great laugh - them we called and scheduled my first session.

I wanted to bottom, to be dominated. After the session I met my wife at a restaurant close to the dungeon and told her everything that went on. Three days later she asked me if I wanted another session, this time with her in the room. I jumped at the chance. Ma’am went so far as to offer my wife some fetish clothing to use. During the session Ma’am invited my wife to play part and after the session was over Ma’am left and told us we could stay and play as long as we wanted. It did not go well for my wife. Unresolved issues about her childhood abuse surfaced and there was nothing about the experience she found of interest.

I continues to have sessions with Ma’am to the full knowledge of my wife for the next 4 years - the remaining time we were married. I could come home "marked" - bruised, but my wife and I did not talk in great detail about the sessions. My wife even hired Ma’am to give me a surprise spanking for my birthday - and that event I will post something about some day soon. My wife visited play parties with me several times over the years and each time she found that she just could not come to BDSM - and she fully supported me in finding a way to take care of me needs within mutually agreed upon boundaries of behavior.

We are now divorced and live in different cities. We are friends. I miss her at times, I also miss Ma’am at times.

I hope this gives you a bit of an overview. Let me know what questions you have.

PS - over time I became a swich, learned how to Top and now identify here as a bisexual Top (more-or-less)

Shank

 

[neonflux]

If you do, would love to know how it goes...

Thank you. I may discuss this with my pet. Sounds delicious.

 

[Shankara20]

((((SHANK))))

Thank you for telling us.

your welcome