Virus Alert (LMAO)

[cloudy]

forgive me if you've seen these before, but they cracked me up...

New Viruses to be on the lookout for...

• The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.
• The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.
• The Clinton Virus - Giver you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory
• The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.
• The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
• The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.
• The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back.
• The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.
• The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 350 GB.
• The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
• The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
• The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files
• The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows

 

[amicus]

Thas cute!

Wakan Tankan nici un.

hope I didn't say something bad!

amicus...

 

[lucky-E-leven]

forgive me if you've seen these before, but they cracked me up...

New Viruses to be on the lookout for...

• The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.
  
• The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows

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[cloudy]

Thas cute!

Wakan Tankan nici un.

hope I didn't say something bad!

amicus...

No, you just said "May the Great Spirit walk with you."

To which I should respond: Yigaquu osaniyu adanvto adadoligi nigohilvi nasquv utloyasdi nihi.

(May the Great Spirit's blessings always be with you)

 

[Black Tulip]

ROFL!!!

 

[cheerful_deviant]

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I'm slightly concerned at the two you found most amusing.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I'm slightly concerned at the two you found most amusing.

Oh, baby, you're safe.

Trust me...

~lucky

 

[lil_elvis]

Teh Vella virus...modifies all of your text files into a language you find completely incomprehensible, yet totally endearing.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Teh Vella virus...modifies all of your text files into a language you find completely incomprehensible, yet totally endearing.

Amen

 

[Guest]

Jennifer Wilbanks Virus - Deemed a malicious destructive worm. Appears to be a legitimate program that corrupts itself when attemts are made to permanantly install it.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Jennifer Wilbanks Virus - Deemed a malicious destructive worm. Appears to be a legitimate program that corrupts itself when attemts are made to permanantly install it.

Bahahahaha!

 

[Guest]

Teh Vella virus...modifies all of your text files into a language you find completely incomprehensible, yet totally endearing.

The Lucky Virus - links up with the Vella virus in a way meant to appall George W., and leaves your PC sighing contentedly and the monitor glowing extra bright.

 

[lil_elvis]

The Troll Virus - attacks all files, setting every digit to 1

 

[Guest]

CLOUDY VIRUS - Makes your floppies stand up and hard drive spill its contents. Generally considered a good thing unless quarantined, then it sneaks out, hides your important documents and plots a revenge so heinous that no one will help you. Makes FredEx lose your computer and inspires poetry.

Also causes you to worry endlessly when you can't find it but evokes enhanced performance when you do find it.

 

[Guest]

CV VIRUS - (aka svet virus) Disappears for weeks at a time, returns placing non-sense files in random locations and accusing other files of being Troll virus. Drags up old files just to confuse you. Claims to be deleting itself but contiues to reappear.

 

[Guest]

Cheerful Deviant Virus - it's just wierd.

lil_elvis Virus - Ties up system resources by tracking and announcing the obvious.

Ted-E-Bare Virus - Attempts to tie other virii together for a more destructive effect. Though some are convinced it's a good thing.

Dranoel Virus - Convinces everyone it has too much time on it's hands. Makes clocks run randomly backwards, forwards and sideways.

 

[lil_elvis]

lil_elvis Virus - Ties of system resources by tracking and announcing the obvious.

Lurker Virus - it's there but doesn't do a damned thing.

gotta live up to my rep

 

[rgraham666]

The amicus virus: Sets all the bits on your hard drive in vicious competition with each other in a drive for mastery.

Not to worry. Soon it will settle down as the natural order of the marketplace takes over.

 

[amicus]

rgraham

"The amicus virus: Sets all the bits on your hard drive in vicious competition with each other in a drive for mastery.

Not to worry. Soon it will settle down as the natural order of the marketplace takes over..."


Gee, and here I thought you just didn't understand....thanks, thas the nicest thing anyone ever said....

ahem


amicus...

 

[Guest]

Tolyk Virus - Just when you thought it was gone....