Victims wanted

[TheRapeTree]

It's late out, and you're on the way home from your new job. You never worked this late before and the wood near your house doesn't usually look this creepy. You can hear old trees creaking, the rustling of dumped garbage. You can hardly see a thing.

But there's no other way to get home.

You place foot after foot down on the crunchy leaves; there's nothing to be afraid of, you tell yourself. It's just a few trees. Sure, a torch would be of help...but you walk this way so easily in the daylight. You going to let a few shadows make you nervous? No, you're not that much of a pussy.

Or are you?

Slowly, you make your way into the forest's black underbelly. Your footsteps are roaring in your ears now and they are underscored by a heavy pulse. Thwack, thwack....your heart doesn't normally beat this fast.

That's when you start to hear the voice. It sounds like nails on chalkboard. It's like the nails smoke fifty a day.

Come closer now, my pretty flesh
And sit among my roots
Sit back against my big, thick trunk
Relax, take off your boots.
Now roll your little skirt up
And prepare for a shock
I am the Rape Tree, baby
Do you like my splintered cock?


If you like the sound of that...drop me a PM. I don't discriminate. I got love for you all [rubs branches]

 

[fridayam]

Mmmm, my twigs got all excited by that--they'll be having twiglets, no doubt! I feel---eviscerated, root and branch. Have you more tree-specific porn?

 

[TheRapeTree]

Yeah...you don't deserve any tree love.

Must...try...haaarder!

 

[stellasue]

Your bark is rough against my flesh
I feel it rasp my skin.
Between my thighs your splintered wood,
Are you going to stick it in?

For year on year I've dreamt of this
In fantasy divine.
Of forest dark, of tripping root
Of curling grasping vine.

And now you have me in that grasp
My limbs splayed wide, held tight.
Do your worst with splintered cock
Or would you wish me fight?

 

[TheRapeTree]

Your bark is rough against my flesh
I feel it rasp my skin.
Between my thighs your splintered wood,
Are you going to stick it in?

For year on year I've dreamt of this
In fantasy divine.
Of forest dark, of tripping root
Of curling grasping vine.

And now you have me in that grasp
My limbs splayed wide, held tight.
Do your worst with splintered cock
Or would you wish me fight?

Save your strength for when you walk home, bleeding
And splay to birth my fat man seedling.

 

[stellasue]

Oh .. you're so romantic!

 

[stellasue]

And so I leave the forest damp
A leaking, used, dishevelled tramp,
And though I bare your fruit within
I branch out with a greenish grin.

Because I know what you do not,
Already beneath your bark you rot.

If I am fucked then so is the tree
I show positive HIV.

 

[stellasue]

Now where did I put that power saw?

 

[TheRapeTree]

Fuck you, osmosis! Bah.

You bring your saw, bitch! It'd have to be a helluva virus to penetrate my many rings.

 

[debbiev]

Fuck you, osmosis! Bah.

You bring your saw, bitch! It'd have to be a helluva virus to penetrate my many rings.

Quite possibly the tree was not a tree at all
But a long thick and woody vine
That was way too hard and tall

It it had leaves of plenty and shiney they were
But then I choked on my saliva and with a grunt
I saw leaves of three and my heart beat loudly
For the lady with the axe now has poison ivy in her cunt.

 

[NotSoInterested]

Come closer now, my pretty flesh
And sit among my roots
Sit back against my big, thick trunk
Relax, take off your boots.
Now roll your little skirt up
And prepare for a shock
I am the Rape Tree, baby
Do you like my splintered cock?

Only if that splintered cock is full of hot thick tree sap (interesting scenario, btw).

 

[TheRapeTree]

That's it, little girls. Come and suck the sap.

You'll like the poison ivy. It tickles...

 

[NotSoInterested]

Just make sure that those branches don't go limp on us

 

[AnAmoralSquid]

That's it, little girls. Come and suck the sap.

You'll like the poison ivy. It tickles...

Weak. Why waste your time in the woods, girls, when you will clearly only find yourself digging splinters out of your saucy bits and fending off the advances of voyeuristic owls afterwards? Not to mention, can you buy fried dough in a forest? You cannot.

Instead, why not visit the marine park? There are many lovely displays - you can see starfish flopping about, or feed the dolphins, or get up close and personal with a shark (don't worry, the glass is thick.) And when no one is looking, slip off your jumper and hop into the squid tank. We squid are so friendly, and ever so tactile. 8 limber legs and 2 long, strong tentacles can do so much more grasping and pulling and thrusting than any branch or trunk could. Plus, you know the saying: once you go squid, you'll totally flip your lid. It's true.