MakeYouSquirm
Virgin
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2012
- Posts
- 14
There seems to be a lot of people seeking more from their relationships on this forum as well as a lot of people asking "How do I get my ____ to do ____".
My gal and I recently went through a stormy period, including extensive counselling with 2 different counsellors and nearly ending the relationship twice.
I am happy to report that we are back on the road to maritual bliss by following the Marriage Builders program.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
Our relationship is now on much better ground, with both of us finding it highly rewarding and fulfilling. From a Lit point of view, we are having fantastic sex again. Every aspect of our relationship has improved.
Our past efforts, including tackling issues ourselves and the use of highly regarded counsellors, did nothing for us and, in fact, made things worse in some regards.
Caveat. I have absolutely no affiliation with any person or business involved in the marriage counselling industry.
The Marriage Builder program is a true breath of fresh air. It doesn't start out looking at your family of origin. It doesn't assume that you and your partner can't communicate. It doesn't have the partners do a bunch of nebulous exercises. It gets right to the point.
The Marriage Busters program starts by immediately addressing things that are hurting you and getting you things that you NEED from the relationship.
If you are wanting to change your relationship, I recommend that you and your partner start by watching the online videos together, as a couple, over a period of a few days.
I'd skip the infidelity video if its not part of your issues, and view the videos in order from top to bottom.
These videos are filmed in a religious setting and contain a few religious references. Ignore that part of things if you aren't religious. Dr. Harley is religious but largely keeps it out of his writing. If you are religious, he has a book dedicated to Marriage Building in that regard.
The videos are on YouTube, with links available to them here.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi1000_video.html
If your relationship is on the rocks, start focusing on eliminating the simple Love Busters and meeting each other's top 2 needs. Usually this will be affection and conversation for the woman and sexual intimacy and recreational companionship for the man, but everyone and their relationship is different.
In my experience, implementing a policy of no selfish demands, no judging and no angry outbursts, bargaining until both sides are in agreement and getting both partners working on fulfilling each others top 2 needs improves the relationship immediately. Its like being with a different person in a different relationship.
You can get the basics of doing this from watching the videos and doing a bit of reading on the website.
Once you get the relationship stabilized, go through the Love Buster and His Needs/Her Needs books in detail.
The website has audio clips of their daily radio shows, searchable by topic. Its interesting to hear about the problems other couples have and Dr. Harley's response to them.
The website also has a forum, which I have found to not be very useful. It seems to be dominated by people with very severe relationship problems and the answers you get to your questions are dominated by wannabe counsellors or relationship addicts turned experts. I find it a bit wierd. You may like it though.
Other than that, we've found Marriage Builders to be a great program.
The best part of all this is that, partner willing, you can implement the program yourselves, without the use of a counsellor.
If you get stuck and need a counsellor, there is a book on the Marriage Builder program for counsellors, so that they know how to help you within the framework of the program.
I hope this helps someone.
My gal and I recently went through a stormy period, including extensive counselling with 2 different counsellors and nearly ending the relationship twice.
I am happy to report that we are back on the road to maritual bliss by following the Marriage Builders program.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
Our relationship is now on much better ground, with both of us finding it highly rewarding and fulfilling. From a Lit point of view, we are having fantastic sex again. Every aspect of our relationship has improved.
Our past efforts, including tackling issues ourselves and the use of highly regarded counsellors, did nothing for us and, in fact, made things worse in some regards.
Caveat. I have absolutely no affiliation with any person or business involved in the marriage counselling industry.
The Marriage Builder program is a true breath of fresh air. It doesn't start out looking at your family of origin. It doesn't assume that you and your partner can't communicate. It doesn't have the partners do a bunch of nebulous exercises. It gets right to the point.
The Marriage Busters program starts by immediately addressing things that are hurting you and getting you things that you NEED from the relationship.
If you are wanting to change your relationship, I recommend that you and your partner start by watching the online videos together, as a couple, over a period of a few days.
I'd skip the infidelity video if its not part of your issues, and view the videos in order from top to bottom.
These videos are filmed in a religious setting and contain a few religious references. Ignore that part of things if you aren't religious. Dr. Harley is religious but largely keeps it out of his writing. If you are religious, he has a book dedicated to Marriage Building in that regard.
The videos are on YouTube, with links available to them here.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi1000_video.html
If your relationship is on the rocks, start focusing on eliminating the simple Love Busters and meeting each other's top 2 needs. Usually this will be affection and conversation for the woman and sexual intimacy and recreational companionship for the man, but everyone and their relationship is different.
In my experience, implementing a policy of no selfish demands, no judging and no angry outbursts, bargaining until both sides are in agreement and getting both partners working on fulfilling each others top 2 needs improves the relationship immediately. Its like being with a different person in a different relationship.
You can get the basics of doing this from watching the videos and doing a bit of reading on the website.
Once you get the relationship stabilized, go through the Love Buster and His Needs/Her Needs books in detail.
The website has audio clips of their daily radio shows, searchable by topic. Its interesting to hear about the problems other couples have and Dr. Harley's response to them.
The website also has a forum, which I have found to not be very useful. It seems to be dominated by people with very severe relationship problems and the answers you get to your questions are dominated by wannabe counsellors or relationship addicts turned experts. I find it a bit wierd. You may like it though.
Other than that, we've found Marriage Builders to be a great program.
The best part of all this is that, partner willing, you can implement the program yourselves, without the use of a counsellor.
If you get stuck and need a counsellor, there is a book on the Marriage Builder program for counsellors, so that they know how to help you within the framework of the program.
I hope this helps someone.
