40-something seeks editor(s) to critique submissions in a variety of categories. Classically trained (even have the diploma with honors) in writing, I am not focused on grammar correctness; I'll edit the work to make it palatable but I could care less if the MLA approves.
What I am looking for is someone who looks at a story and figures out whether I have started the story at the right place and haven't weighted the tale with too much back story and detail. I need to keep stories tighter than I would without some input and I need to make sure what I think is important in a story really adds to the story rather than just its length.
Hopefully, I can find someone(s) who have some ideas and suggestions so that they feel a certain sense of ownership to the stories.
I have about a dozen story ideas currently; I chose to focus on "hot button" topics rather than strictly personal interests. The main underlying theme on these is those "moment's decisions" when things change very quickly and in ways that could not have been predicted a day, an hour or even a minute before that moment.
Here are some I have developed enough to discuss. If you are interested in assisting me with any of these, please respond here, email me here or contact me at email personal info prohibited per forum guidelines
Working Title / Main Theme
Description
Housewife to Hotwife / Cuckolding
Middle-age Karen finds herself waiting for husband Brian on a barstool and feels the eyes of a younger attractive man. As Karen begins to respond to the attention, Brian shows up and she starts getting defensive when he addresses the situation. As things start going wrong, the mystery man approaches and points out to the couple that the bulge in Brian's pants indicates more interest than irritation. He then suggests a way for the couple to decide whether to allow that interest to go somewhere; either Brian can invite his wife onto the balcony or the stranger will. Brian gives his silent assent placing the ball in Karen's court and she opts to accept the invitation. The rest of the story involves action on the balcony and a quick transition to the stranger's room where she performs a few naughty acts and then returns to Brian and, while retelling some of the action, performs a few naughty acts on him.
“Girl on Top” / Female Dominant Fantasy
Kevin Hardesty has risen in the corporate world and just received an equity share in a company and a major promotion....and now the wheels are starting to come off. He is starting to lose focus and the ability to thrive in a stressful world. His wife, Katherine consults a psychiatrist friend who suggests a few likely issues, urges counseling and, as an aside meant as humor, suggest that maybe he needs some time as a submissive as relief from his incredibly dominant worklife. Later that night, Katherine awakens from an alcohol-fueled dream in which she has her husband on a leash and she forces an equally drunk Kevin between her legs and begins taking charge and leaving some marks on his body. When Kevin leaves for work happier than he has been in months, Katherin begins to explore whether the shrinks throwaway idea has merit. The rest of the story involves Katherine coming to Kevin's office where he is stripped, pleasures her and undergoes some mild pain and humiliation with the focus on establishing dominance rather than serious degradation. From there, Katherine has Kevin “perform” for her and possibly in a public setting over the rest of a single day.
“The Houseguest Who Unpacked Everyone's Baggage” / Threesome and Confession
Beth Halwith never shared some of her pre-marriage exploits with her maid of honor, Tara, before marrying Tim and chose to deny her interest in anything approaching kinky because she wanted a "good" marriage and a stable family. This plan starts falling apart when a recently divorced Tara comes to stay at the house for a few days while the kids are at summer camp. The first night, Tara - the Pied Piper for girls behaving badly - has Beth and two other women skinny dipping in the pool, oversharing fantasies and teasing husbands with some playful girl/girl kissing. This leads to some intense sex later for Tim and Beth with Tara acting as a voyeur at the door seen only by Beth. Beth confronts Tara the next day and wrangles a commitment from Tara to tone things down which lasts three whisky sours and a confession from Beth that her sex life is depressing for both Tim and her. Tara then suggests that maybe it's time to start seeing whether there's room for more than just vanilla in her bedroom. When Beth calls Tim and asks if he would be up for an evening out with Tara where inappropriate things are likely to occur, he agrees without hesitation. Tara and Beth then do some prepping for the evening. At dinner, Tara begins questioning Tim about what he knows of Beth's past. Beth discovers that he knew quite a bit more about her “slutty” side and that he had reluctantly accepted her timid sexual interests because he thought it was what she wanted. The revelations leave Beth almost in tears and an expectant mood that things may quickly change. When Tara suggests a limousine drive to a strip club, Beth eagerly agrees when Tim shows an interest. The club and the alcohol soon has the girls buying Tim a lap dance and then Beth one during which Tara begins rubbing Tim's crotch. When Tim removes the hand, Beth reaches over and put it back. The rest of the story involves some heavy petting at the club and Tim watching the girls and being watched by his wife as all three enjoy playing around the house.
“Amateur Contributions” / Vouyerism and Exhibitionism
Glen Pasternak discovers a racy video on the internet showing a couple he and his wife know well having some very hot sex. Glen knows his wife knows he likes porn but he's still reluctant to acknowledge it but he is finally tempted to share his find with Allyson. Allyson surprises him by informing him she has already seen it; the first time Glen had even considered that his wife watched porn, as well. When he asks her what she watches, she tells him he will share if he does and Glen flinches; his desire to know what turns her on is balanced by his fear of what she will think of his interests. Then, she surprises him even more by asking him if he would like to make a movie like that. He nods dumbly and she says she'll think about it. The next day, Allyson visits an adult store where she finds a sexy outfit and a blue bob cut wig and then hands a printer a design for a temporary tattoo of a dragon. Then, she heads home where she strips the spare bedroom down to a more anonymous setting, awkwardly applies the tattoo, dons the wig and a sexy outfit and then sets up her cameraphone on an improvised tripod and hits record. Over the next twenty minutes, Allyson pleasures herself with a vibrator and a set of anal beads, coming loudly. After a quick and dirty edit and compression, she posts the video to the same website where she and Glen had seen their friends under the name “Slutty Dragon.” Then, she sends a text to Glen and tells him to check out a video she had “just found.” Glen replies back that it's hot but asks why she was highlighting this one. Smiling, she texts Glen that he knows the girl. When he remains clueless, she asks him if he knows anyone who moans that exact way when she comes. Finally getting up to speed, a very excited Glen rushes home get some serious playtime with the world's newest porn star.
What I am looking for is someone who looks at a story and figures out whether I have started the story at the right place and haven't weighted the tale with too much back story and detail. I need to keep stories tighter than I would without some input and I need to make sure what I think is important in a story really adds to the story rather than just its length.
Hopefully, I can find someone(s) who have some ideas and suggestions so that they feel a certain sense of ownership to the stories.
I have about a dozen story ideas currently; I chose to focus on "hot button" topics rather than strictly personal interests. The main underlying theme on these is those "moment's decisions" when things change very quickly and in ways that could not have been predicted a day, an hour or even a minute before that moment.
Here are some I have developed enough to discuss. If you are interested in assisting me with any of these, please respond here, email me here or contact me at email personal info prohibited per forum guidelines
Working Title / Main Theme
Description
Housewife to Hotwife / Cuckolding
Middle-age Karen finds herself waiting for husband Brian on a barstool and feels the eyes of a younger attractive man. As Karen begins to respond to the attention, Brian shows up and she starts getting defensive when he addresses the situation. As things start going wrong, the mystery man approaches and points out to the couple that the bulge in Brian's pants indicates more interest than irritation. He then suggests a way for the couple to decide whether to allow that interest to go somewhere; either Brian can invite his wife onto the balcony or the stranger will. Brian gives his silent assent placing the ball in Karen's court and she opts to accept the invitation. The rest of the story involves action on the balcony and a quick transition to the stranger's room where she performs a few naughty acts and then returns to Brian and, while retelling some of the action, performs a few naughty acts on him.
“Girl on Top” / Female Dominant Fantasy
Kevin Hardesty has risen in the corporate world and just received an equity share in a company and a major promotion....and now the wheels are starting to come off. He is starting to lose focus and the ability to thrive in a stressful world. His wife, Katherine consults a psychiatrist friend who suggests a few likely issues, urges counseling and, as an aside meant as humor, suggest that maybe he needs some time as a submissive as relief from his incredibly dominant worklife. Later that night, Katherine awakens from an alcohol-fueled dream in which she has her husband on a leash and she forces an equally drunk Kevin between her legs and begins taking charge and leaving some marks on his body. When Kevin leaves for work happier than he has been in months, Katherin begins to explore whether the shrinks throwaway idea has merit. The rest of the story involves Katherine coming to Kevin's office where he is stripped, pleasures her and undergoes some mild pain and humiliation with the focus on establishing dominance rather than serious degradation. From there, Katherine has Kevin “perform” for her and possibly in a public setting over the rest of a single day.
“The Houseguest Who Unpacked Everyone's Baggage” / Threesome and Confession
Beth Halwith never shared some of her pre-marriage exploits with her maid of honor, Tara, before marrying Tim and chose to deny her interest in anything approaching kinky because she wanted a "good" marriage and a stable family. This plan starts falling apart when a recently divorced Tara comes to stay at the house for a few days while the kids are at summer camp. The first night, Tara - the Pied Piper for girls behaving badly - has Beth and two other women skinny dipping in the pool, oversharing fantasies and teasing husbands with some playful girl/girl kissing. This leads to some intense sex later for Tim and Beth with Tara acting as a voyeur at the door seen only by Beth. Beth confronts Tara the next day and wrangles a commitment from Tara to tone things down which lasts three whisky sours and a confession from Beth that her sex life is depressing for both Tim and her. Tara then suggests that maybe it's time to start seeing whether there's room for more than just vanilla in her bedroom. When Beth calls Tim and asks if he would be up for an evening out with Tara where inappropriate things are likely to occur, he agrees without hesitation. Tara and Beth then do some prepping for the evening. At dinner, Tara begins questioning Tim about what he knows of Beth's past. Beth discovers that he knew quite a bit more about her “slutty” side and that he had reluctantly accepted her timid sexual interests because he thought it was what she wanted. The revelations leave Beth almost in tears and an expectant mood that things may quickly change. When Tara suggests a limousine drive to a strip club, Beth eagerly agrees when Tim shows an interest. The club and the alcohol soon has the girls buying Tim a lap dance and then Beth one during which Tara begins rubbing Tim's crotch. When Tim removes the hand, Beth reaches over and put it back. The rest of the story involves some heavy petting at the club and Tim watching the girls and being watched by his wife as all three enjoy playing around the house.
“Amateur Contributions” / Vouyerism and Exhibitionism
Glen Pasternak discovers a racy video on the internet showing a couple he and his wife know well having some very hot sex. Glen knows his wife knows he likes porn but he's still reluctant to acknowledge it but he is finally tempted to share his find with Allyson. Allyson surprises him by informing him she has already seen it; the first time Glen had even considered that his wife watched porn, as well. When he asks her what she watches, she tells him he will share if he does and Glen flinches; his desire to know what turns her on is balanced by his fear of what she will think of his interests. Then, she surprises him even more by asking him if he would like to make a movie like that. He nods dumbly and she says she'll think about it. The next day, Allyson visits an adult store where she finds a sexy outfit and a blue bob cut wig and then hands a printer a design for a temporary tattoo of a dragon. Then, she heads home where she strips the spare bedroom down to a more anonymous setting, awkwardly applies the tattoo, dons the wig and a sexy outfit and then sets up her cameraphone on an improvised tripod and hits record. Over the next twenty minutes, Allyson pleasures herself with a vibrator and a set of anal beads, coming loudly. After a quick and dirty edit and compression, she posts the video to the same website where she and Glen had seen their friends under the name “Slutty Dragon.” Then, she sends a text to Glen and tells him to check out a video she had “just found.” Glen replies back that it's hot but asks why she was highlighting this one. Smiling, she texts Glen that he knows the girl. When he remains clueless, she asks him if he knows anyone who moans that exact way when she comes. Finally getting up to speed, a very excited Glen rushes home get some serious playtime with the world's newest porn star.
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