Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility

[R. Richard]

Interesting logic.

Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.

University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.

Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn't counteract this effect.

"In the long run, humans cannot survive under these conditions, even if our population were doubling each month," Efthimiou said. "And doubling is clearly way beyond the human capacity of reproduction."

So whatever you think you see prowling around on Oct. 31, it most certainly won't turn you into a vampire.

 

[cloudy]

I've seen estimates of the amount of blood a vampire would have to drink to survive, given the nutrient value of human blood. One vampire would have to drain something like 30 people a night to stay alive.

Of course, this doesn't take into consideration that their physiology may be different than ours, and thus their nutrient requirements.

 

[Equinoxe]

The fatal flaw in his logic is in the assumption that a bite alone causes one to rise from the grave as a Vampire, which is perhaps a very common conception, but not the traditional notion. It only dispels the myth of a certain idea of the Vampire.



Now, I'm sure this really didn't take him long to calculate, because it should be a fairly simple problem by the standards of what a physicist would be used to, but I still think it was a colossal waste of his time.

 

[Dr_Strabismus]

If vampires don't actually exist, how does he explain all those sightings of Hammer movies, whose existence can be easily verified, by IMDb for example?

Eh?

Eh?

 

[poppy1963]

Interesting logic.

Vampires a Mathematical Impossibility, Scientist Says

A researcher has come up with some simple math that sucks the life out of the vampire myth, proving that these highly popular creatures can't exist.

University of Central Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou's work debunks pseudoscientific ideas, such as vampires and zombies, in an attempt to enhance public literacy. Not only does the public believe in such topics, but the percentages are at dangerously high level, Efthimiou told LiveScience.

Legend has it that vampires feed on human blood and once bitten a person turns into a vampire and starts feasting on the blood of others.

Efthimiou's debunking logic: On Jan 1, 1600, the human population was 536,870,911. If the first vampire came into existence that day and bit one person a month, there would have been two vampires by Feb. 1, 1600. A month later there would have been four, and so on. In just two-and-a-half years the original human population would all have become vampires with nobody left to feed on.

If mortality rates were taken into consideration, the population would disappear much faster. Even an unrealistically high reproduction rate couldn't counteract this effect.

"In the long run, humans cannot survive under these conditions, even if our population were doubling each month," Efthimiou said. "And doubling is clearly way beyond the human capacity of reproduction."

So whatever you think you see prowling around on Oct. 31, it most certainly won't turn you into a vampire.

I certainly have no difficulty accepting the outcome of this study's results...lol. But I do question the validity of the statement I bolded for emphasis...

There is a "dangerously high level of belief" in vampires and zombies?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I certainly have no difficulty accepting the outcome of this study's results...lol. But I do question the validity of the statement I bolded for emphasis...

There is a "dangerously high level of belief" in vampires and zombies?

My brother is terrified of the thought of Zombies existing. He's in his late twenties, and a bright guy by all means, but just thinking about Zombies even being possible just creeps him out something fierce.

 

[poppy1963]

My brother is terrified of the thought of Zombies existing. He's in his late twenties, and a bright guy by all means, but just thinking about Zombies even being possible just creeps him out something fierce.

Well, I also know people who actually kinda lean toward the idea that there are "vampiric" types who exist and so forth but they are very few who believe it. And...I am sorry for your brother's fears...I understand that little kinda phobic thing that can play with people sometimes...Jaws scared me out of the ocean for a decade. LOL.

But this guy says the level of the population who believe in these topics is "dangerously high". If it is...I sure have my head in the sand about it all!

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Sometimes scientists really suck the fun out of life.

 

[cloudy]

My brother is terrified of the thought of Zombies existing. He's in his late twenties, and a bright guy by all means, but just thinking about Zombies even being possible just creeps him out something fierce.

I actually watched a program on the History Channel last night about zombies. A guy who was a writer for Saturday Night Live has written a book that you ought to get for your brother, something along the lines of "How to Kill Zombies."

 

[R. Richard]

But this guy says the level of the population who believe in these topics is "dangerously high". If it is...I sure have my head in the sand about it all!

You mean "Rage of The Zombies" wasn't a documentary film???

 

[bronzeage]

The fatal flaw in his logic is in the assumption that a bite alone causes one to rise from the grave as a Vampire, which is perhaps a very common conception, but not the traditional notion. It only dispels the myth of a certain idea of the Vampire.
Now, I'm sure this really didn't take him long to calculate, because it should be a fairly simple problem by the standards of what a physicist would be used to, but I still think it was a colossal waste of his time.

He can figure and calculate all he wants. Only one vampire has to show up to prove him wrong.

There was a great natural philosopher who prove mathmatically that only 7 planets could exist in the solar system. When the 8th planet was discoverered, it turned out he had been talking out his ass. An ironic historical fact, as that was how the 7th planet got its name.

 

[poppy1963]

He can figure and calculate all he wants. Only one vampire has to show up to prove him wrong.

There was a great natural philosopher who prove mathmatically that only 7 planets could exist in the solar system. When the 8th planet was discoverered, it turned out he had been talking out his ass. An ironic historical fact, as that was how the 7th planet got its name.

Well you know....Pluto is not a planet now....what if they find another that is not and then does that make that philosopher right? Wrong? Still in question? The role of mathematics in determining such theoretical constructs is completely beyond my grasp...but it is very compelling to science. Who knows if there is REALLY planet 8 out there for sure?

 

[R. Richard]

He can figure and calculate all he wants. Only one vampire has to show up to prove him wrong.

There was a great natural philosopher who prove mathmatically that only 7 planets could exist in the solar system. When the 8th planet was discoverered, it turned out he had been talking out his ass. An ironic historical fact, as that was how the 7th planet got its name.

I am presuming that you refer to the "reasoning" of Francesco Sizi. It would be well if anyone who is not familiar with the "reasoning" of Francesco Sizi google up the reference and find out how Francesco Sizi arrived at his conclusion.

 

[poppy1963]

I am presuming that you refer to the "reasoning" of Francesco Sizi. It would be well if anyone who is not familiar with the "reasoning" of Francesco Sizi google up the reference and find out how Francesco Sizi arrived at his conclusion.

http://www.nifl.gov/partnershipforreading/publications/html/science/stanovich.html

Ok...even I could understand that level of mathematical reasoning...LOL... I think I'll go with "still in question" no matter if they find another planet isn't real or not...

 

[R. Richard]

http://www.nifl.gov/partnershipforreading/publications/html/science/stanovich.html

Ok...even I could understand that level of mathematical reasoning...LOL... I think I'll go with "still in question" no matter if they find another planet isn't real or not...

Actually, according to people who study astronomy, there once was a planet located om an orbit between the orbit of Mars and the orbit of Jupiter. The planet was/is called Lucifer and the remains of Lucifer are the asteroid belt. Do we count Lucifer as a planet?

 

[poppy1963]

Actually, according to people who study astronomy, there once was a planet located om an orbit between the orbit of Mars and the orbit of Jupiter. The planet was/is called Lucifer and the remains of Lucifer are the asteroid belt. Do we count Lucifer as a planet?

That is very interesting. I read they think it was either once a planet that was destroyed or a planet that never formed. Depending...I would probably see it differently. A destroyed planet......then lean toward yes. One that never formed...lean toward no.

Learn some new stuff every day!

 

[elsol]

Oh yeah... well, didn't someone prove that Santa Claus was a mathematical impossibility...

No way the fat man is getting down a normal american chimney!

 

[poppy1963]

Oh yeah... well, didn't someone prove that Santa Claus was a mathematical impossibility...

No way the fat man is getting down a normal american chimney!

I know...lol...we lose so much tho...huh?

HEY..........go work in a bookstore for a while...your fantasies will thrive...have you experienced the...damn...can't think of the right word at this hour...but the "cut out" books...like DINOSAURS? WOW!

Go check...ask specfically for DINOSAURS and look for that raging one...tyranosaurus_rex! Magnificent.

These have to be all hand-cut...and yet they are priced under $30...I don't know how they do it!

 

[slyc_willie]

Ah, Science . . . .

One thing I have noticed about mathematics, or physics, or any of the other 'hard' scientific disciplines, is that, if you wait six months, any 'proven' scientific fact will be debunked or challenged.

Vampires may not necessarily feed on human blood. Maybe it's the plasma they require, which regenerates much more quickly in the human body. Of course, I am not an expert on vampires . . . .

Pluto was once a planet. Now it is not. In five years, it may be a planet again. Already, Pluto's invalidity (is that a word?) as a planet is being challenged.

And as far as mathematics itself goes, String Theory proposes that all matter and energy are intertwined. Perhaps vampires do not actually feed on blood, but ancient chroniclers could think of nothing else to describe. Maybe vampires just suck the 'energy' from a person, and as Albert Einstein theorized, the amount of nuclear energy inside a single human cell is enormous.

But then, Einstein himself was a physicist and mathematician . . . perhaps, with time, he might be proved wrong.

Guess there really is no accurate answer to this question.

BTW, if Pluto is no longer a planet, does that mean Planet X becomes Planet VIIII? or would that be Planet IX? Never could get my Roman numerals straight . . . .

 

[slyc_willie]

That is very interesting. I read they think it was either once a planet that was destroyed or a planet that never formed. Depending...I would probably see it differently. A destroyed planet......then lean toward yes. One that never formed...lean toward no.

Learn some new stuff every day!

Some theorists, such as Graham Hancock (yes, I know, some people think he's a quack), suggest that Mars was once as large as Earth, and that a comet or atseroid slammed into the planet, knocking off trillions upon trillions of tons of matter from the planet's surface . . . thus the asteroid belt.

Oh, man, it's late . . . .

 

[Jailhouse]

I never worry about Vampires anyhow thanks to a certain someone.

Tax evasion, incidentally, is real. That's a totally different scare, however.

 

[scheherazade_79]

* Putting my hands over my ears and singing loud, wordless and mostly tuneless songs *

I'm not listening.

I want vampires to exist - they make the world a much more interesting place, just like Santa Claus, fairies and extra-terrestrials like George W Bush.

 

[slyc_willie]

* Putting my hands over my ears and singing loud, wordless and mostly tuneless songs *

I'm not listening.

I want vampires to exist - they make the world a much more interesting place, just like Santa Claus, fairies and extra-terrestrials like George W Bush.

I just fall back on the mantra of: "Anything is possible. Anything is possible. Anything is possible . . . ."

 

[Jailhouse]

I just fall back on the mantra of: "Anything is possible. Anything is possible. Anything is possible . . . ."

http://www.phillyist.com/attachments/philly_jim/i-want-to-believe.jpg

 

[dr_mabeuse]

* Putting my hands over my ears and singing loud, wordless and mostly tuneless songs *

I'm not listening.

I want vampires to exist - they make the world a much more interesting place, just like Santa Claus, fairies and extra-terrestrials like George W Bush.

The classic vampire = sex, plain and simple, and he almost always makes his home in cultures that are simultaneously obsessed with and horrifed by the whole idea of sex - Victorian Britain, 1950's America.

The vampire is a sexual predator: male, powerful, potent, and irresistible (and typically some kind of exotic foreigner. Good old Brits and Yanks don't go around doing such naughty things to our girls.) He hypnotizes women with his gaze and they swoon. He inserts his teeth into their throats and they orgasm, and once they know the pleasure of the orgasm, they become his slaves.

He supposedly fears the signs of our religious morality and flees the sign of the cross and the vial of holy water. To be killed, he has to be himself fucked, this time through the love muscle.

Vampires stories still give the most PC and liberated among us a chance to indulge in wonderfully out-of-fasion sexist role-playing romances involving rape and non-consent, evil and innocence, blood and passion and the redemptive power of love. They toy wth themes of male violence and misogyny and a woman's power to tame the man's savage urges.

As archetypal fairy tale of how love and sex work between men and women, the vampire deserves to be right up there with "Beauty and the Beast" and "Sleeping Beauty". He's the most compelling monster to come along in the last 500 years.

So everytime I see someone trying to "prove" or "disprove" something about the existence of vampires, I just have to shake my head. They just don't get it. That darkly handsome or ravishing creature who stands in the shadows glaring at you, preparing to put you under its spell and drink your blood and make you do the most deliciously perverted and unholy sexual acts (just the things you'd never admit to yourself you're secretly dying someone will force you to do) comes straight out of our own imaginations.