... use the strap on on him

[siren999]

Ok, my husband and I finally agreed on a strap on. Its just a basic thing with an adjustable vibrator. It's average penis size and has a realistic feel.

So anyway ...we have tried to use it two or three times and it hasn't really been successful. My hubby is Bi so he has had experience at his end (no pun intended lol).

I have a feeling that it might be something to do with me, ie being too gentle/not gentle enough because I can't feel it, though hubby insists its not.

We've tried different lubes, buttplugs, fingers, muscle relaxants, doggy, him on his back and nothing seems to help.

Do we give it up as a bad job or are there other things to try?

 

[Nau8tynnice]

mmmmm

Mmmm... you lucky thing... i fantasise about taking a man with a strap on. Personally if i was in your situation, i would have brought a harness that has attachments for the wearer. You could always buy a 'share dildo' (link bellow) to give you the same effect. If you are being stimulated with every thrust you make... it might feel more natural... and you will probably take him with a bit more passion.
Have fun practising

http://dvice.co.nz/products/dildos/g-spot/6071.php

 

[siren999]

I can feel the vibrations from the vibe, I just can't feel it in him so I don't know how much resistance there is or if the angle is wrong. :-(

 

[Nau8tynnice]

I can feel the vibrations from the vibe, I just can't feel it in him so I don't know how much resistance there is or if the angle is wrong. :-(

You would have more control over angles etc with a share dildo as you are holding it internally, along with support from the harness. You mentioned that you had tried to use your fingers on him... did that work for him? As your fingers would have eliminated the problems you mentioned above. If it did, then it’s a matter of practise using the strap on. If your fingers it didn’t do it for him, you might need to get him to tell you in detail what to do to please him.
All the best.

 

[siren999]

Yeah he likes my fingers ... especially when I'm giving him a blow job. He's not very good at vocalising what he wants. Maybe its 'cos he knows I'm a mucky moo who'll keep coming up with ideas lol

 

[silverwhisper]

when you say you haven't been successful, what precisely do you mean? based on the post, it sounds like you can't maintain a proper rhythm. is that it, or is it something else?

ed

 

[siren999]

when you say you haven't been successful, what precisely do you mean? based on the post, it sounds like you can't maintain a proper rhythm. is that it, or is it something else?

ed

We never really get as far as getting a rhythm. We get it in so far, then he wants me to start moving to ease it in. Sometimes I move back too far and it comes out, sometimes I move too far in for his comfort. Sometimes the angle changes and again he's uncomfortable.

Sheesh .. when I write it down it seems clear that it is me

 

[Colton_White]

don't loose your heart

everyone can't be master in everything.

 

[SimpleGifts]

We never really get as far as getting a rhythm. We get it in so far, then he wants me to start moving to ease it in. Sometimes I move back too far and it comes out, sometimes I move too far in for his comfort. Sometimes the angle changes and again he's uncomfortable.

Sheesh .. when I write it down it seems clear that it is me

When I've given my wife anal, one thing that helped the first couple of times was to use my finger first, and then use that as a "guide" for my cock to enter her. If the strap-on you're using is "normal" size, then he should be able to accommodate that AND your finger simultaneously...

SG

 

[albertaboy]

My wife has used a strapon a few times on me and we had difficulty with the angle. The best we found was doggy style, but with me holding my upper body up on top of the head of the bed rather than face down. In my case I am quite a bit taller than her and this angle worked better.

 

[Pegger_Man]

We find the "Share" and the Feeldoe double dildos to be good for giving stimulation at the girl's end. We use these with a harness as its tough to use them without if you are getting vigorous. Also, we use cock extensions to increase the length of the dildo as, in face-to-face positions, these double dildos, being anchored at the vagina rather than pressing on the pubic bone, could do with being longer (unless you are super slim and flexible)

 

[SweetErika]

We have problems with getting the angle right and it all the way in sometimes, too.

What works best for us is to have him on his back on the edge of the bed with a pillow or two under his ass. Having a longer dildo (ours is probably 7" or so) is an advantage because I can hold the shaft tightly so it doesn't bend and ease it in. He lets me know if it's at the right angle, going in and if he wants me to go slower. Once it's in, I start to thrust a little bit until I get the right motion and range down, and then I can go to town.

Honestly, I think it just takes practice and communication, though having good equipment really helps. We have a fairly sturdy leather harness, and the dildo snaps on via Doc Johnson's Vac-u-Loc system. The rubber dildo bends with force, but it's firm enough to hold in the right position for penetration and the initial strokes.

The brand name is Doc Johnson Ultra Harness Pro, and it came with the leather thong-style harness with adjustable buckles (so I can get a perfect, snug fit), a good-sized dildo, the vac-u-loc plug and powder, and two vinyl plugs that can slip on the harness for the wearer or be used separately. It has a pocket and controller holder for clit stimulation with a bullet vibe. I paid $35 plus $5-10 shipping for the whole thing on eBay's Mature Audiences section a couple of years ago. I mention this because there are a lot of chintzy and outrageously expensive harnesses and dildos out there!

 

[braincum]

One thing you may have overlooked...

One method of keeping things going, as it were, is to just keep talking. Exploring this kind of forbidden lust is exciting, tantalizing, and a little scary.


Sharing your thoughts as you both explore together helps relieve the anxiety and heighten your shared sensations, or rhythms.

 

[Ling]

What works best for us is to have him on his back on the edge of the bed with a pillow or two under his ass.

This

 

[siren999]

Thank you all ... some good ideas to give a try. Tonight if he's lucky lol.

Braincum ... By talking do you mean talking dirty? I kinda suck at that. I can write it no problems but I feel stupid saying it out loud :-(

Anyway keep the ideas coming ... I'm determined to do it and do it well so all advice welcome

 

[SubNebGuy]

its not directly you. the fact you cannot 'feel' your penis causes you to move it the wrong way. it just takes practice.

even my wife who's experienced at this still has problems lining it up, and having it pop out occasionally.

we find it easiest to 'warm' me up first with a plug (and spanking), and then i'm able to take her dong.

 

[siren999]

Well I told him about all the great advice here but we still haven't done it yet!

I've told him about telling me exactly what he wants but he still says 'whatever you wants fine' !&$*

I've tried to say that knowing I'm doing EXACTLY what he wants is what I want ... but still...........................

I think I'm resigning myself to the fact that it'll all be pretty rubbish until he opens up to me (teeheehee ... would you look at my puns lol)