Use of foreign language in a story?

[Otto26]

Is it off-putting for the reader?

I feel that the use of a little foreign language can serve to draw the reader further into the tale, by focusing their attention and by providing extra detail/color for the story.

On the other hand, does it make the reader work too much and detract from their enjoyment of the story? Does it make the author look like a pompous prig strutting his (limited) knowledge?

My novella is provided as an example for discussion of points:

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=245957

Too much? Could it be done in a better fashion?

 

[janiexx]

Is it off-putting for the reader?

I feel that the use of a little foreign language can serve to draw the reader further into the tale, by focusing their attention and by providing extra detail/color for the story.

On the other hand, does it make the reader work too much and detract from their enjoyment of the story? Does it make the author look like a pompous prig strutting his (limited) knowledge?

My novella is provided as an example for discussion of points:

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=245957

Too much? Could it be done in a better fashion?

Hello,

I had a very quick look at your story (8 Lit pages at almost 11pm at night is too much for me but I will return) and I don't think the use of a foreign language detracted from the story at all.

I can remember reading travelogues when I was younger and the liberal smattering of foreign words annoyed me intensely. It was almost as if the writer expected me to know what they meant, which I found very patronising.

But not so with your story. They added to the authenticity so I certainly wouldn't worry about sounding like a pompous prig.

janiexx

 

[Darkniciad]

I also only gave it a quick scan, but I see it adding to the immersion more than detracting from it. There are only a couple of places where the general meaning of the foreign dialouge is not obvious, and that doesn't really detract from the experience either because it is in places where you could imagine being a person that doesn't speak the language listening to the side.

I'd say you have a good immersion tool that doesn't distract from the story or come across as rubbing it in the reader's face. I wouldn't worry one little bit and just keep on writing just like you are.

 

[CopyCarver]

I agree. Foreign terms--like dialect--become a negative only if overused, completely unintelligible, or misused, none of which you've done.

(thinking of the old M*A*S*H* episode in which Hawkeye thinks he's chastening someone in Korean, only to learn he's called the dude an "umbrella stand.")

 

[jennah]

I agree that you've used it perfectly in this story. Despite not knowing the language, I still knew exactly what was going on.