I posted my story in the author's hang out for critique, and was met with a torrent of (mostly) constructive criticism. Most helpfully from sweetsubsarahh, among others. I have revised my story with some of your suggestions taken into account. I hope it is now better than "three stooges working in a bakery." So please read, and let me know if it is.
For your consideration:
My Music Teacher
It was on my eighteenth birthday that I first caught a glimpse of her pussy.
It was during class, and she was my music teacher. I sat in the front row, and as she jumped up to sit on her desk, I caught a glimpse of something black and wet beneath her skirt. Every day I came early and sat in front of her, and sometimes I would see the hole in her.
I think she saw me watching, because she would look into my eyes as she sat on her desk and played her guitar. Each time I saw her the dark slit would seem to get wetter, sopping wet, dripping.
She stared at me for the longest time today in class. I wore shorts, and I was leaning back, my legs thrust forward under her desk. I felt something warm drip on to my bare leg, and startled, I saw it was a clear liquid from her dark slit. Her eyes were only for me as she finished the song, and dismissed the class.
“Bill,” she said in a low voice. “I want you to stay after class.”
I sat nervously as all the other students filed out. She stood up. “Come to me,” she said softly. I walked to her, anxious, and she wrapped her long bare arms around me.
“Now we’re going to play a game,” she whispered in my ear. “I’m going to tell you to do something, and you do it.” I nodded, my head pressed into her chest. She smelled of sweet roses.
“Now take your finger,” she instructed, “and put it up there. Where you looked.” And I reached my finger up under her skirt and it found the soaking wet place. My finger didn’t stop but slid up, all the way up, and she shuddered and gasped. I drew it out.
“Yes,” she said softly. “Now do it again.” It slid in, like jelly. “Again,” she whispered. “Again.” I slid it up there again, and again, rhythmically. “Faster,” she said. “Harder.” And I did it, faster and harder, and she squeezed my body tight and cried out, panting.
She sat on her desk then, out of breath, and pulled up her skirt to her belly. I saw the slit exposed. There was a stripe of black hair above it, and it looked like two moist lips. Her thighs looked silvery.
“Now come,” she said, and I walked to her. She took my head and gently pushed it down to the wetness. My tongue licked out, tasting it. “Oh,” she moaned. “Oh.” I licked it again, harder, and she cried out. It tasted warm and salty, and it smelled good, like her. She pushed my face deep into her, and soon I was all soaked as I licked her, desperate to taste, to drink every last drop of her as she cried out again and again.
Finally she lifted my head up. I looked into her eyes. She looked drained, dreamy. She sat up on her desk and reached down to my pants. She unbuckled the belt and pulled the pants and my underwear down, and there was my cock. It was throbbing, erect, so hard it felt like it would burst. She stepped down and sat me on her desk, and now she bent over me. Clear fluids were dripping down my tip. She took me in her mouth and it felt like a deep, warm cave. She sucked back and forth, and I couldn’t control myself, had never felt anything like this. All at once I burst in her mouth, I felt what seemed like gallons of liquid erupt, and I grunted and pulled her to me. She coughed but swallowed it down, and when she lifted her face I saw the white juice seeping slowly down. She kissed me then, and in the wet kiss I tasted mine and she tasted herself. Her tongue was in my mouth, moving around gently.
She looked at me dreamily and reached down. I was still hard. Surprised, she stroked me in her hand. She got up and began to unbutton her shirt, and she was wearing nothing beneath. She took it off and her breasts spilled out, pale and heavy. The nipples were large, a dark red color. Her belly was tight. She stepped out of her skirt and lay back on the desk, relaxed. She told me to take all my clothes off, which I did. She stared at my bulging penis, engorged again with blood. “Now come to me,” she said.
I got up on top of her, and we laid there together. I could feel her warm silky body under me. She ran a hand through my hair. I reached out tentatively, and she smiled and put my hand on her breast. It was so soft, like feathers. I caressed it, and bent down to take her nipple in my mouth. I sucked on it and she was as surprised as I was when milk flowed out. But she let me continue, and she stroked me as I sucked the warm milk from her.
“Now,” she said to me, “I want you in me.” She was staring at me fixedly, and panting. Her face and breasts were flushed a deep red in the fading light. She caressed my face. “Take your cock,” she said, “and put it in.” She guided me with her hand, and with my tip I felt the soft warm opening. “Ooh,” she moaned softy, her head against mine. She wrapped her arms around me.
“Put it in,” she told me, her eyes closed. I slipped it in, just an inch, and she moaned. I pulled it out again, teasing. “Put it in,” she whispered urgently, her mouth open. Again I pushed it in a little, and then took it out.
She was moaning hard now. “Put it in,” she said to me, more forcefully, and I just shoved it, deep as I could. I felt her juice spurt out of her like an avalanche, drenching us. She screamed and I knew she had climaxed. But I didn’t stop. I fucked her over and over, as hard as I could. Her pussy felt ripe, like a fruit so swollen it was ready to burst. In and out I went, faster and faster. She clung to my back desperately, crying out, climaxing again and again. Finally I built up and I could stand it no longer, and my cum came gushing out of me as she orgasmed for the last time. I didn’t pull out, and we lay there, intertwined, panting and silent. Both sweaty, soaked. For the longest time we lay there, until finally we both moved to get up. We dressed.
She looked at me for a long time, wondering. “I’ll see you around, Bill,” she said finally. And I walked out.
For your consideration:
My Music Teacher
It was on my eighteenth birthday that I first caught a glimpse of her pussy.
It was during class, and she was my music teacher. I sat in the front row, and as she jumped up to sit on her desk, I caught a glimpse of something black and wet beneath her skirt. Every day I came early and sat in front of her, and sometimes I would see the hole in her.
I think she saw me watching, because she would look into my eyes as she sat on her desk and played her guitar. Each time I saw her the dark slit would seem to get wetter, sopping wet, dripping.
She stared at me for the longest time today in class. I wore shorts, and I was leaning back, my legs thrust forward under her desk. I felt something warm drip on to my bare leg, and startled, I saw it was a clear liquid from her dark slit. Her eyes were only for me as she finished the song, and dismissed the class.
“Bill,” she said in a low voice. “I want you to stay after class.”
I sat nervously as all the other students filed out. She stood up. “Come to me,” she said softly. I walked to her, anxious, and she wrapped her long bare arms around me.
“Now we’re going to play a game,” she whispered in my ear. “I’m going to tell you to do something, and you do it.” I nodded, my head pressed into her chest. She smelled of sweet roses.
“Now take your finger,” she instructed, “and put it up there. Where you looked.” And I reached my finger up under her skirt and it found the soaking wet place. My finger didn’t stop but slid up, all the way up, and she shuddered and gasped. I drew it out.
“Yes,” she said softly. “Now do it again.” It slid in, like jelly. “Again,” she whispered. “Again.” I slid it up there again, and again, rhythmically. “Faster,” she said. “Harder.” And I did it, faster and harder, and she squeezed my body tight and cried out, panting.
She sat on her desk then, out of breath, and pulled up her skirt to her belly. I saw the slit exposed. There was a stripe of black hair above it, and it looked like two moist lips. Her thighs looked silvery.
“Now come,” she said, and I walked to her. She took my head and gently pushed it down to the wetness. My tongue licked out, tasting it. “Oh,” she moaned. “Oh.” I licked it again, harder, and she cried out. It tasted warm and salty, and it smelled good, like her. She pushed my face deep into her, and soon I was all soaked as I licked her, desperate to taste, to drink every last drop of her as she cried out again and again.
Finally she lifted my head up. I looked into her eyes. She looked drained, dreamy. She sat up on her desk and reached down to my pants. She unbuckled the belt and pulled the pants and my underwear down, and there was my cock. It was throbbing, erect, so hard it felt like it would burst. She stepped down and sat me on her desk, and now she bent over me. Clear fluids were dripping down my tip. She took me in her mouth and it felt like a deep, warm cave. She sucked back and forth, and I couldn’t control myself, had never felt anything like this. All at once I burst in her mouth, I felt what seemed like gallons of liquid erupt, and I grunted and pulled her to me. She coughed but swallowed it down, and when she lifted her face I saw the white juice seeping slowly down. She kissed me then, and in the wet kiss I tasted mine and she tasted herself. Her tongue was in my mouth, moving around gently.
She looked at me dreamily and reached down. I was still hard. Surprised, she stroked me in her hand. She got up and began to unbutton her shirt, and she was wearing nothing beneath. She took it off and her breasts spilled out, pale and heavy. The nipples were large, a dark red color. Her belly was tight. She stepped out of her skirt and lay back on the desk, relaxed. She told me to take all my clothes off, which I did. She stared at my bulging penis, engorged again with blood. “Now come to me,” she said.
I got up on top of her, and we laid there together. I could feel her warm silky body under me. She ran a hand through my hair. I reached out tentatively, and she smiled and put my hand on her breast. It was so soft, like feathers. I caressed it, and bent down to take her nipple in my mouth. I sucked on it and she was as surprised as I was when milk flowed out. But she let me continue, and she stroked me as I sucked the warm milk from her.
“Now,” she said to me, “I want you in me.” She was staring at me fixedly, and panting. Her face and breasts were flushed a deep red in the fading light. She caressed my face. “Take your cock,” she said, “and put it in.” She guided me with her hand, and with my tip I felt the soft warm opening. “Ooh,” she moaned softy, her head against mine. She wrapped her arms around me.
“Put it in,” she told me, her eyes closed. I slipped it in, just an inch, and she moaned. I pulled it out again, teasing. “Put it in,” she whispered urgently, her mouth open. Again I pushed it in a little, and then took it out.
She was moaning hard now. “Put it in,” she said to me, more forcefully, and I just shoved it, deep as I could. I felt her juice spurt out of her like an avalanche, drenching us. She screamed and I knew she had climaxed. But I didn’t stop. I fucked her over and over, as hard as I could. Her pussy felt ripe, like a fruit so swollen it was ready to burst. In and out I went, faster and faster. She clung to my back desperately, crying out, climaxing again and again. Finally I built up and I could stand it no longer, and my cum came gushing out of me as she orgasmed for the last time. I didn’t pull out, and we lay there, intertwined, panting and silent. Both sweaty, soaked. For the longest time we lay there, until finally we both moved to get up. We dressed.
She looked at me for a long time, wondering. “I’ll see you around, Bill,” she said finally. And I walked out.
