Unspoken dialogue -Thoughts, their punctuation.

[myrionomos]

I am getting back to writing after a prolonged break and would appreciate some guidance. The CMS 15th edition at 11/47 appears to take a fairly liberal view as to whether or not one should use quotation marks around unspoken dialogue/thoughts suggesting it is a matter of personal choice.

I would appreciate any guidance particularly with regard to pitfalls as the story I am writing has numerous examples of this. The only view I have is that if I start using them in these circumstances I must continue to be consistent. Thank you in anticipation.

 

[Hypoxia]

My rule is, do what feels right, but be consistent. If I had a formal rule, it might be something like, quote when the speaker is subvocalizing to themself in the absence of other spoken words, and don't quote when other speech is nearby. So:

1) "What the hell?" I thought, "is my canoe about to go over the waterfall?" I was fucked.

vs

2) "You can trust me," she said. Sure thing, I thought, about as far as I'd trust a ferret.

In (1) the narrator first speaks to themself, then has an un-sub-voiced thought. In (2), the narrator's thought is a response to speech directed at them. In each case, the components are separated. That's my goal, that each thought and statement be distinct, recognizable.

 

[sr71plt]

There's a CMS 16 now. It sanctions either straight roman (I wonder if those legs go all the way up, Hector thought) or double quotes, just like dialogue ("I wonder if she's wearing panties," Hector thought) for unspoken thoughts. Since CMS 14 it has NOT sanctioned what is probably the most popular (and clearest--and still used by some publishers) practice of putting the thoughts into italics (I wonder if those boobs are real, Hector thought). The most important issue is to be internally consistent with what you choose.

 

[Tyzmartar]

thoughts

I could totally be wrong here, but quotes would only be used if a character is actually having an internal discussion with himself and italics would be used for thoughts. I can not remember where I heard or read that from, correct me, because I would like to know, as well.

 

[sr71plt]

I could totally be wrong here, but quotes would only be used if a character is actually having an internal discussion with himself and italics would be used for thoughts. I can not remember where I heard or read that from, correct me, because I would like to know, as well.

Yep, you're totally wrong. I cited the authoritative source for this in U.S. usage. It really isn't any help to just make up answers when someone is trying hard enough to get it right to ask about it.

 

[robertreams]

I feel most comfortable treating it as dialog if it sounds like speech. "Thomas, you idiot," he scolded himself. or "Why the hell didn't I go to the theater as I had planned?" But not: I felt as if I could have cried for a week.

 

[robertreams]

One problem with italics is: They don't translate well into formats acceptable for ebook publication. It is a pain to have to do the HTML symbols each time. And often then the site messes it up.

 

[sr71plt]

The CMS is obviously trying to get rid of italics altogether (having already done so with bold). The problem with treating thoughts the same as spoken dialogue is that the author has to made clear each time that it's a thought.

 

[Tyzmartar]

Hey now

Yep, you're totally wrong. I cited the authoritative source for this in U.S. usage. It really isn't any help to just make up answers when someone is trying hard enough to get it right to ask about it.

I wasn't trying to say that I was right, I was asking the question, as well. Now I know.

 

[sr71plt]

Sorry then, but I think your wording of that post would be misconstrued by most as a vote to use those treatments.

 

[Tyzmartar]

True

Sorry then, but I think your wording of that post would be misconstrued by most as a vote to use those treatments.

I agree. I will take care of all of my posts in the future.