Unsent Messages to Him/Her

[ethereal~minx]

Re: all alone

The shock of You being gone from my life
Leaves me battered and heart-sore
feeling lost or abandoned
drifting on this night's cold shore.

You hurt me...caused me pain
And not for any any reason
Just because i trusted YOU to be real
and to guide me through this cold season

You lie, a Master of none can never master one
Including himself
You are a disgrace, a panic filled little boy
playing at being a MAN, my Owner, HAH!

And i know this is true
but the pain keeps riding me
deep inside where none can hide
I miss You
I love You
but godess bless me
I hate You , too

i had to put this down, i had to release it to get rid of some of this venom inside...thanks....

Your writing is beautiful and heartfelt~~
do not keep it inside
let it flow from you
and above all else~ in LOVE abide

(((((apet4you)))))

 

[ethereal~minx]

a friend's voice message

i was thinking of your voice today
> >& how you always touched my heart
> >i was longing to hear your voice again
> >for 'you' to come play your part
> >XXXX there was no part you played
> >just the Guide you were in my heart
> >the One that showed me who i was
> >the One that gave me my start
> >Yes i was off yesterday sick
> >i'm sad i missed your call
> >i don't know what i would have said to you
> >if i would have gotten your call
> >i cried when i heard your voice
> >XXXX it was nice to hear you say my name
> >so nice that you were thinking of me
> >even if it is just a game
> >~~ but it's my choice in how to see it
> >i won't make it to be that
> >im so happy that you called
> >do you consider me a friend at last?
> >*tears falling*
> >i love you XXXX i hope you know this
> >i hope you're doing fine
> > call back if you wish
> >i work from 8:30-5
> >yes, i'm still with Logan
> >i hope it's working out w/ your girl
> >again thank you for leaving a message
> >You are an important part of my world!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>I have no girl
>
>I have no home
>
>I have no life
>
>I am pleased you have found your place
>
>good luck
>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>XXXX, listen to your heart ~it is calling for You
>it will never let You down
>luck has nothing to do w/ it XXXX.. You of all people know this
>we create every experience from the thoughts we think
>remember XXXX that You are loved
>and the world is out to get You (in love)
>You touched my world XXXX, think of that ok?
>think of the power you hold ~~
>if You chose to follow the joy in your heart whenever
>there was a choice to make... imagine the life you would lead
>oh XXXX~~~ You have such power to live the life you want !!
>You will!!!
>i Love YOU XXXX, You are such an important person to me, this i wish You could know in Your heart...one day You will
>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I again wish you the best and still hope to meet you at some time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my dreams will all come true because i will make them come true
we all have that power XXXX!!!!
so do You!!!!
We will meet and YOU will SEEE there is truth in what I SEE!!!!!
YOU ARE SPECIAL NOT ONLY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in my eyes reflecting to You You will see the divine inside of YOU!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ethereal~minx]

morning~this is me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i'm not asking for more but if You are wanting
to do better by Your tinkerbell~
physical sensation is beautiful ~ it doesn't have to go all night
but if You think i wish it would, please caress my heart and mind
by pouring Your love into me and allowing love in return
the magic between the two of us~ all night the flame of love will burn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sounds like a Saturday night
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
what i really meant to say is this
it's fast because it has to be
it feels right the way it is
it's beautiful now i love You so
i (crying) am asking for more than this

i'm not trying to change You Baybee
I'm not trying to change You now that Your 'trapped'
we are feeling fewer joy-filled moments now
and im desperately wanting them back

i'm trying the only way i know how
and i am not doing it with evil intent in my heart
You know the truth in which i speak Baybee
please don't let Us tear us apart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sounds good, I mean this with best intentions get back to work!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am
just know Logan this pain is so deep
it is as deep as my love for You
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know that goes hand in hand




http://www.lightworker.com/inspire/pickcard2.php3
Healing
Kali stands victorious amidst the rooted entanglements of despair. White flowers blossom around her, symbolizing the peace and tranquility that inevitably arise after her raging storm. A rainbow encircles Kali's sword, while her arms offer a kind blessing. Remember, out of your deepest, darkest fears, a new cycle of evolution beckons. Your path to enlightenment is secure. Mother Kali protects you along the way.

Blessing
Black Cohosh with gnarly roots,
Offering flowers of tender white shoots,
Kali Ma reveals her sword,
Breaking the ties, cutting the cords.
All my demons are eternally free-
Black Cohosh, you transform me.

 

[ethereal~minx]

You have depth when You choose
but very shallow when it suits
what is it that You need
that i'm not giving You?
i need ~~~yeah, this is just "not feeling good"
and 'i'll feel better soon'
...it's just some bug i got
there's nothing You can do
compassion
empathy
concern for my pain
this relationship is meaningful to me
a lifetime of joy to gain

there is no talking later
it is not something we do
at least we have not yet
You know this is true

this goes so deep
this is not just some stupid little argument
this is a fucking huge issue to overcome
to do it we must choose LOVE
above all else before we come UNDONE!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Re: Re: all alone

Your writing is beautiful and heartfelt~~
do not keep it inside
let it flow from you
and above all else~ in LOVE abide

(((((apet4you)))))

thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read mine...i have enjoyed this thread tremendously but until recently i had nothing to add to it...thanks for such a great idea...and for the hug...

 

[ethereal~minx]

Sir my respect for You is profound
it is based on a beautiful belief...
reading & re-reading this quote today
caused this 'stir' in me..
"we do not believe what we prove,
we prove what we believe"

may i have a few words with You, Sir?
i will be clear and concise~
it is only to still this water
that's muddied up my mind...

 

[ethereal~minx]

i say i'm ready for You
but that's presumptous on my part
i'm still learning Sir
please know that in Your heart
You have brought me this far
with Your compassion and Your care
and now i would like to serve You
with personal devotion beyond compare



right away You had my trust
You awakened a dying soul
comforted a needy part of me
that was dying, desolate & cold
You held me against Your body
our hearts beating in sync
the rhythmic sway of music
your essence is part of me

 

[ethereal~minx]

i meant to say something else
i need You more than anything
i feel im losing You
are You open to me
are we hiding the truth
i feel a shallow closeness
an artificial depth of heart
a distraction meant to deflect
fear that could tear us apart

i'm not going to allow it to stay
but will You help me to fight
i need Your strength to help me
to carry us through this time

 

[ethereal~minx]

sweet innocent~pristine beauty
budding now from His seed
blossoming before His eyes
Youthful daughter of His dreams

absolute trust in her Father
His Animal Spirit of the Wild
..does He know she adores Him
& would do anything for His smile...

 

[ethereal~minx]

...everything happens for a reason...
...... everything is happening as it is meant to....
...release the situation and any preconceived notions......
...stop your mind from questioning....
...deny the dull ache in your stomach...
.....blind your eyes to the d.e.n.i.a.l. you perceive....


find a mantra quick
read encouraging word
can't go home now
can't make it all a blur
do it some other way
take it all away
smoke smoke right now
until it is 3:00
have another later
just let me be
don't think just work
get over it again
it'll be alright
the bullshit will end

 

[ethereal~minx]

*frightened by Your vehemence*
gosh, please keep the main thing the main thing
...& remember, the only thing that is important between us is our relationship
right?
love
right?
please don't make assumptions about what i think or don't think
please don't take what i say personal...it's not

i told You i fear her dependence on You and when You 'help' her ... (to me it seems, everytime she needs *holding back tears*)
it takes a little bit of ---it makes me feel fear ... it scares me, hurts me, makes me feel threatened *crying*
i may act tough, strong as nails .....
i'm really feeling vulnerable when i am bitchy... it is difficult to exprss vulnerability...
please open Your heart and don't shut me out. i need You now *crying*

 

[ethereal~minx]

i am as nature, wide open
bare and exposed to You
the way i have always been
just now i'm muddled and confused
You see, the ups and downs
are the illusions throbbing pulse
~~causing then effecting~~
the passionate, rollercoaster result

as i said i am as nature, exposed
not in Your hands, but in Your care
remember, nature is cause and effect
... so please just be aware
we chose to be together
we chose to grow in love
Let's again choose to nurture eachother
and Strengthen the Collective Bonds Above

 

[AngelicAssassin]

My thanks

... for the baring of souls.

How does a person endure the kind of pain i've seen here?

Oh, i hate using such a crass cliche, but shake Pandorah's box hard. Hope has to fall out of that box, or none of us have reason to live. With a little Hope one can dream. A dream gives you reason to live. If you let your dreams die, you exist, but you don't live. Here's my hope for all of your dreams; may you fulfill them and live.

Until the end of days ...

 

[ethereal~minx]

OMG~ i didn't realize AA that you were commenting on my pain!

~~back to you later!!! : )

 

[ethereal~minx]

changed mind

 

[ethereal~minx]

i've drawn up a list of guidelines
to be more pleasurable & satisfying for you
i'd like a collar of Your choice
and easy access clothing too

i'll be available at all times
especially more than now
the thought of serving You for pleasure
makes it different somehow
i know what makes You happy
i will do as You ask
i will take pride in my household
and in the menial tasks

 

[AngelicAssassin]

changed mind

That a question to me, or a statement on your part? http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

 

[ethereal~minx]

That a question to me, or a statement on your part? http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

AA that's very cute *giggles* uhmmm, no~~ i actually forgot about you-- you've been gone so long!

no, i wrote something while i was feeling eXXXtremely bestial & voyeuristic and well~~~ i chickened out HAAAAAHAHAHAAAAHA OMG ---truly NO PUN INTENDED!!!--- OMG LAO!! HAHAHAAAHAAAAHA i am sooo embarrassed

anyway... the only pain comes from growth and through it all is light!!!
some people are sooo afraid of the light that they avoid pain all together by remain in stale relationships or relationships that are just ho/hum.. maybe they indulge a little too heavily (by their own standards, mind you).. maybe they self-deprecating or maybe maybe maybe their living a life of someone else's shoulds instead of their own...

it takes alot of strength to .... gotta go:::::::::Master's calling! bbl

Love & Light : )

(i hate seeing my own spelling errors!!!)

 

[AngelicAssassin]

AA that's very cute *giggles* uhmmm, no~~ i actually forgot about you-- you've been gone so long!

Mock sigh ... forgotten so easily.

http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif

No matter, but i'm glad to see a shift in the emotional content.

Run, little girl. He'll be unhappy if you make him wait.

 

[ethereal~minx]

wow could this be true
am i losing myself in You
i don't want to ponder
i don't want to know
in my face, does it show?

i see myself worried about how i'm perceived
i'm picking myself apart
i havne't done that in a long time
i 'm worried about this.
hmmmm.

hope it's just a me phase.
however, trust is easily lost...it is the smallest tinsiest little MAJOR things that can damage it...but it will be regained and it is...however painful & slow it may be... hmmm

growth..this is where committment comes in...committment to friendship/relationship~~~ to grow together
to overcome our negative coping strategies that are triggered by emotional responses to deepening intimacy
lol...here i go again

i love life and how life's wisdom arrives so gracefully!!!
when you get good at realizing the growth you've achieved
it's like watching your life in a movie right up to the very last scene


it's sooooawesome!!!

ok. over now. over&out.
love & light to you alll!!!!!

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

After the ending

the phone has not rang since i don't know when
I am never really sure when i will see or hear from You again
It has been an eternity since i heard Your voice
So slow to begin and over with out a choice.

In the endings there are new beginnings
After the tears, laughter
After the pain, joy
In the ending i have found a new beginning

Searching for my friend, i know not where to look
Could be that i left You there, hidden by the book
It has been an eternity since i heard Your voices.
So slow to begin and over without any choices.

In the endings, i have found new beginnings
After the heartache, rest
After the lonliness, ease
And with this ending i have found a new beginning.

So i thank You...

 

[AnonymousSlave]

unsent messages?


There are very few thoughts that i have had that i don't share with M'Lord. But i keep a journal. It is my safe place. It is a place where i can put my thoughts and my feelings. It is a place where i can say things that i would never say to Him. A place where i can express anger and saddness and joy and love. A place where i can work through confusion. A place where i can try to understand myself better so that i can better serve Him. It is neither locked nor hidden away. M'Lord can read it any time He chooses. i hide nothing from Him. For Him i am an open (although yet unfinished) book.

 

[ethereal~minx]

i miss You, my friend

could You call me
and let me hear Your voice?
it has been sooo long
and it would really bring me joy

i've been thinking alot! about You
and the way You were with me
the way i grew with You
& the me You helped me be

You are wise and You are strong
remember if You are feeling down
in my darkness You shined Your light
so i could find strength to find my own





with every thought we send our reality out
and then we live in the thoughts that we create

 

[ethereal~minx]

can You feel me wanting
desire is hard to hide
i really want to reach You
i lust the darker side
the eyes i feel them watching
the edges not direct
a notice here and there
a glance i won't forget
a tempt me grin seduction
what is it with the dark
mysterious eyes of wisdom
i'm just playing with my heart

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Welcome to Hell.

Leave your shoes at the door.

Pick up your footwear at the counter.

Skate uphill until the end of days.

You've reached the bottom of the barrel.

Enjoy.