Unfortunate lines from stories

[cheerful_deviant]

“When she came she screamed like a weasel plugged into an electrical outlet.”

Well, in the author's defence, it is rather descriptive. But I can't help but feeling the next line should have been something about the smell of burnt hair.

Anyone else find a... ahem... good line?

 

[Guest]

Faye leaned back on the blanket, arranging her legs in an M of receptivity, and he knelt between them like the most abject and craven supplicant who ever exposed his bare ass to the eagle eyes of a bunch of crows.

(From Bad Sex Fiction, 2005)

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Faye leaned back on the blanket, arranging her legs in an M of receptivity, and he knelt between them like the most abject and craven supplicant who ever exposed his bare ass to the eagle eyes of a bunch of crows.

(From Bad Sex Fiction, 2005)

But I bet it would sound fabulous if Patrick Stewart was reading it aloud.

 

[Guest]

But I bet it would sound fabulous if Patrick Stewart was reading it aloud.

Even one of the Shrub's speeches would sound fabulous read aloud by Patrick Stewart.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Even one of the Shrub's speeches would sound fabulous read aloud by Patrick Stewart.

Maybe he could read it like Shakespear.

Faye doth leaned back on the blanket, spreading her supple legs, ripe with the promise of young womanhood in an M of receptivity, and he had knelt between them like the most abject and craven supplicant who ever dared to exposed his naked bottom to the eagle eyes of a bunch of crows that sail on the west wind.

You know, rub a little funk on it.

 

[Guest]

Maybe he could read it like Shakespear.

Faye doth leaned back on the blanket, spreading her supple legs, ripe with the promise of young womanhood in an M of receptivity, and he had knelt between them like the most abject and craven supplicant who ever dared to exposed his naked bottom to the eagle eyes of a bunch of crows that sail on the west wind.

You know, rub a little funk on it.

How about Gilbert and Sullivan?

Faye leaned and leaned the blanket the blanket
arranging arranging her limbs
Receptive, receptive, the M she did thanketh
awaiting the supplicant him


OK. I'm not drunk enough.

Try me again in an hour.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

How about Gilbert and Sullivan?

Faye leaned and leaned the blanket the blanket
arranging arranging her limbs
Receptive, receptive, the M she did thanketh
awaiting the supplicant him


OK. I'm not drunk enough.

Try me again in an hour.

Shouldn't it be 'M she did maketh'?

 

[Guest]

Shouldn't it be 'M she did maketh'?

Yes!

Gawd, not enough rum!

I was trying to rhyme blanket.

 

[fcdc]

Even one of the Shrub's speeches would sound fabulous read aloud by Patrick Stewart.

http://images.quizilla.com/I/iceman834/1080098732_ktoppicard.jpg
"I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully."



http://www.copperlily.com/scarletinside/Images/Qpid2.jpg
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."



http://www.popentertainment.com/patrickstewart01.jpg
"So I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."



http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/0/07/Patrick_Stewart.JPG
"We ought to make the pie higher."



http://www.wsoctv.com/2006/0331/8388314_240X180.jpg
"Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."



http://oceanview.jetc.org/boncersinc/images/www.jpg
"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

 

[Guest]

BWAH!!!!!

OK, Never mind.

I adore Patrick Stewart, but even HE can't make those speeches sound intelligent.

Well done, fcdc.

Well done!

 

[cantdog]

"Good. I need a good buttfucking."

"I could tell!"

"You could?"

"You're breathing, in and out. That always means you need cock up your ass."

ahem.

 

[Guest]

ahem.

BWAH!!!

OK. I've had too much rum.

 

[fcdc]

http://www.britfilms.tv/images/news/Jack%20sparrow.jpg
"Why is the rum always gone?"

...
...
*hic*

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/arts/photos/2006/07/10/depp-johnny-pirates.jpg
"Oh. That's why."

 

[Guest]

http://www.britfilms.tv/images/news/Jack%20sparrow.jpg
"Why is the rum always gone?"

http://www.cbc.ca/gfx/images/arts/photos/2006/07/10/depp-johnny-pirates.jpg
"Oh. That's why."

My bad.

 

[mikey2much]

I'm really beginning to like you

http://images.quizilla.com/I/iceman834/1080098732_ktoppicard.jpg
"I know the human being and the fish can coexist peacefully."



http://www.copperlily.com/scarletinside/Images/Qpid2.jpg
"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."


http://www.popentertainment.com/patrickstewart01.jpg
"So I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."



http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/0/07/Patrick_Stewart.JPG
"We ought to make the pie higher."



http://www.wsoctv.com/2006/0331/8388314_240X180.jpg
"Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."



http://oceanview.jetc.org/boncersinc/images/www.jpg
"We got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

Well done! The words of a fool placed in the mouth of a masterful speaker. Priceless.