Throckmorton
Land Shark
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2004
- Posts
- 4,635
Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when residents of
other states pass through our state,in an effort to help
outsiders understand West Virginia, the following list will be handed to
each driver entering the state
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because
I need it....not just to keep up with the neighbors.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those
little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have
it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for
what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two
pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends.
We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that
we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We now have two stoplights in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive four-wheelers, pickups, trucks
and tractors because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that
cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too -- and turtle. You really want
sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstates go East, West, North and South.
Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "hunten season! " refers to the first week of deer season.
It's a religious holiday as everything closes for the week, even our
schools.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
18. That State Trooper who just pulled you over for driving like an
idiot... his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
19. Some think we're hillbillies, yeap, we might be just that, we
also know West Virginia IS a State.
Now please, enjoy your visit an ya all come back now, ya hear!
other states pass through our state,in an effort to help
outsiders understand West Virginia, the following list will be handed to
each driver entering the state
1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
2. It's called a 'gravel road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're
going to get dust on your Navigator. I have a four wheel drive because
I need it....not just to keep up with the neighbors.
3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old.
Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women will get
you whipped... by our women.
5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those
little trout you fish for...bait.
6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making
their final approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have
it up to your ear at the time.
8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth for
what you paid in the airport for one drink.
9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak.
Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two
pounds of ham and turkey.
10. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.
11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends.
We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million dollar combines that
we use two weeks a year.
12. Let's get this straight. We now have two stoplights in town. We
stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive four-wheelers, pickups, trucks
and tractors because they want to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that
cute.
14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too -- and turtle. You really want
sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
Don't like it? Interstates go East, West, North and South.
Pick one and use it accordingly.
16. The "hunten season! " refers to the first week of deer season.
It's a religious holiday as everything closes for the week, even our
schools.
17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
friendly. Understand the concept?
18. That State Trooper who just pulled you over for driving like an
idiot... his name is "Sir"... no matter how old he is.
19. Some think we're hillbillies, yeap, we might be just that, we
also know West Virginia IS a State.
Now please, enjoy your visit an ya all come back now, ya hear!
