Underage sex?

Lady_sith

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I submitted a story to publishing but was told that I had underage sex in it. At the top of the story, it CLEARLY says everyone is over 18. I posted the questionable section and could use an opinion or two.


“He put a knife to my throat, that’s what woke me up. His exact words were ‘If you don’t do what I say, I’ll kill you and your bitch of a mother’.” I told him as the tears started to come.

“What did he do after that?”

My tears were freefalling at this point, so I looked at Tara for strength. She smiled through her own and mouthed the words, “I love you.” I took a tissue from the box on the stand, and I continued. “He held the knife to my throat and slid his shorts off. He then started to move forward to put his penis in my mouth.”

“Objection your honor, how could she know it was his penis if it was dark in her bedroom?” The defense argued.

“I’ll rephrase the question your honor.” The prosecutor said with a smirk. “Stacie in your statement from 11 years ago, you said that you saw his penis coming toward you and that it touched your cheek. How do you know it was his penis?”

I took great pleasure in laying waste to the defense with what I said next. I looked the sperm donor square in the eye when I spoke. “Because the green glow from the digital clock on my nightstand made it bright enough that I could see the tattoo on the right side of his penis that says, ‘Welcome aboard’.”

After I had been attacked, the house was a crime scene and not able to be occupied. Mom and I were staying at Tara’s for a few days when I remembered what I saw. I told mom about it and asked if I should tell the investigators. She took it to her boss and was advised not to worry about it because blood from the cut on my neck was present on the knife, fingerprints on the knife matched the sperm donor, the rape kit was positive for semen, and the DNA matched the sperm donor’s DNA. So, I’ve kept this little secret all these years for just such an emergency.

Everyone in the courtroom laughed or chuckled hearing that. The judge even had to cough to cover his laughter. The sperm donor went pale and slumped over in defeat. The DA picked up a photo of my room from 11 years ago.

“Is this your ‘Hello Kitty’ alarm clock?” He asked.

“Yes, it is.”

“Why did you have the brightness up on it?”

“I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down.

The defense tried to confuse me and use a whole bunch of tactics to twist my testimony around and use it against me. Linda had prepared me for this a week before I testified and, in the end, the defense failed miserably.

The rape kit that was done on me showing sperm on my cheek and the knife with my blood on it was re-entered into evidence. After that, it was pretty much over. Mom and I didn’t bother to attend his sentencing, we just wrote a joint letter, signed it, and let the DA give it to the judge. In the end, he got another 25 to life sentence slapped on him. I know for a fact that he didn’t make it to age 50.
 
How old is the narrator? More to the point, how old were they 11 years ago?

It could be seen at hinting that she was underage when the rape occurred, and the Hello Kitty reference reinforces the suspicion.
 
How old is the narrator? More to the point, how old were they 11 years ago?

It could be seen at hinting that she was underage when the rape occurred, and the Hello Kitty reference reinforces the suspicion.

Ditto. Actually, it could be seen as saying that it happened 11 years ago to a child.

You can say that it happened, but you can't describe the event in any detail, and your description goes into way too much detail.
 
What they said. You dont say the age but it's heavily implied it's a child, and the level of detail sounds like it's for titillation rather than reporting.
 
“I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down.

But she did give the age and it is out of the question on Lit.
 
“I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down.

But she did give the age and it is out of the question on Lit.

She could have stopped the sentence at "afraid of the dark" and added a period.

In context (as near as I can tell) the character is giving testimony in her rape case. At the time of the testimony she was over eighteen, but she's testifying about events when she was younger.

I doubt that Laurel would ever allow the actual testimony. She might allow scenes that describe the child's reaction to the event, and she might allow a scene in which the woman reacts emotionally to the event from her childhood.

"Breaking with Tradition" walked that line. I think it's a really fine line, but this example is clearly over it.
 
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“I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down.

But she did give the age and it is out of the question on Lit.

One could argue that she might have had the clock for many years, but it would be a stretch. And the implication is still there.
 
The disclaimer says they’re 18, but the story is about raping an 11 year old.
 
How old is the narrator? More to the point, how old were they 11 years ago?

It could be seen at hinting that she was underage when the rape occurred, and the Hello Kitty reference reinforces the suspicion.

I'm just gonna quote this again because that's *exactly* what I thought.

Edit:
I must not be the only one who stopped skimming at the second mention of "eleven years ago"

This line: “I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down. clearly indicates that the narrator was raped at age 11, or at least sexually assaulted if "sperm donor" refers to her own father, rather than indicating she was impregnated at 11.

Even though she's telling a history, this counts as underage sex.

(I know I'm late to this thread, so it's probably already been spelled out)
 
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An altogether weird and unwarranted scene to recount on an erotica site. If the age is not implied elsewhere, then say 'I was afraid of the dark when I was a kid' but since sperm on cheek, penis pressing etc is mentioned then that's still unlikely to pass.
 
She should have said, " back when I was 18." Then later on mentioned " I know it sounds funny but I had this cute hello kiddy clock when I was 11, and always thought it was cute, so I kept it. Something along those lines to explain the age better.
 
In the story I'm currently writing, I make a passing reference to children at primary school = under 11. But there is no sex or implied sex anywhere near them. Even so, I will add a note to Laurel when I finally finish and submit it.
 
Never use a number, I think that's what lit picks up, which is why a lot of stories are booted automatically, and Laurel doesn't take the time to check the context of how its used.

The easy thing is to just never use a number. If the MC is 20 say "Ten years ago I...." and whatever the point of the memory is supposed to be.

To be clear I'm not recommending doing that for a sex scene to be sneaky, its a suggestion to get by in the sense of being able to relate non sexual events from a young age without getting a knee jerk boot.
 
I must not be the only one who stopped skimming at the second mention of "eleven years ago"

This line: “I had the brightness set higher because I was still a little bit afraid of the dark when I was 11.” I told him. He asked me a few more questions and then sat down. clearly indicates that the narrator was raped at age 11, or at least sexually assaulted if "sperm donor" refers to her own father, rather than indicating she was impregnated at 11.

Even though she's telling a history, this counts as underage sex.

(I know I'm late to this thread, so it's probably already been spelled out)

Yeah, that's how it came across to me. Flashback content is still content.
 
May also be a case of you know what you know about the characters but people who don’t know what you know are reading it, so they interpret what’s written not what you mean. You know?
 
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