Under attack!

[SweetWitch]

It's huge! It's deadly!

And it won't let me into the bathroom. I have to go! I've never seen a fly that big. It's bigger than a bee. It buzzes loud enough to drive away intruders. Every time I try to go in there, it dive-bombs my head.

I may have to use the tree out back.

 

[Noor]

It's huge! It's deadly!

And it won't let me into the bathroom. I have to go! I've never seen a fly that big. It's bigger than a bee. It buzzes loud enough to drive away intruders. Every time I try to go in there, it dive-bombs my head.

I may have to use the tree out back.

Time to get out the vacuum cleaner?

 

[SweetWitch]

Time to get out the vacuum cleaner?

It's big enough to eat the vacuum. It's like fucking Gozilla!

And it wants to kill me...

 

[TE999]

It's huge! It's deadly!

And it won't let me into the bathroom. I have to go! I've never seen a fly that big. It's bigger than a bee. It buzzes loud enough to drive away intruders. Every time I try to go in there, it dive-bombs my head.

I may have to use the tree out back.

Sounds like a horsefly. They bite. Hard. A rolled up newspaper or a magazine should fix it's wagon.

 

[SweetWitch]

Sounds like a horsefly. They bite. Hard. A rolled up newspaper or a magazine should fix it's wagon.

It's bigger than that. I took a swat at it and pissed it off. I could see the blood gleaming in its eyes.

The horror! I ran out of the room and shut the door.

 

[TE999]

It's bigger than that. I took a swat at it and pissed it off. I could see the blood gleaming in its eyes.

The horror! I ran out of the room and shut the door.

You could throw a bug bomb in there, but you'd have to wash the whole place down afterwards. For the moment,maybe you better find a tree.

 

[SweetWitch]

You could throw a bug bomb in there, but you'd have to wash the whole place down afterwards. For the moment,maybe you better find a tree.

I'm going back in. I'm wrapped in a heavy robe with netting on my head. Hopefully it won't get me.

Say a little prayer for me. If I'm not back in 20 minutes, play Taps..

 

[TE999]

I'm going back in. I'm wrapped in a heavy robe with netting on my head. Hopefully it won't get me.

Say a little prayer for me. If I'm not back in 20 minutes, play Taps..

Watch your eyes, they always go for the eyes...or the throat.

 

[driphoney]

I go by the theory that the bigger the bug, the slower the bug. I suggest going in with a pot or something flat-bottomed. Swing! Swing!

 

[SweetWitch]

It's dead!

Watch your eyes, they always go for the eyes...or the throat.

It did.

I go by the theory that the bigger the bug, the slower the bug. I suggest going in with a pot or something flat-bottomed. Swing! Swing!

It was anything but slow. The first swat made it angry. It spewed flames and belched smoke. The second swat--in mid-air--wounded it, but it still went for my left eye. I jumped back in the nick of time.

The third swat brought it down, but it wasn't dead. I could see it was gearing up for another attack, so I got out the heavy artillery. I hit it the Louisville slugger, but it came back for more. Then, just as it was about to go for my juglar, I hit a homer into left field. It was down, not moving, but I wasn't taking any chances. I hit it again.

Can anyone identify this thing?

http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh34/Molly_Wens/elves/100_0287.jpg

 

[SweetWitch]

It's still alive! I knocked the guts out of it and it's still trying to kill me.

Aaaarrgh...

 

[TE999]

It's dead!



It did.



It was anything but slow. The first swat made it angry. It spewed flames and belched smoke. The second swat--in mid-air--wounded it, but it still went for my left eye. I jumped back in the nick of time.

The third swat brought it down, but it wasn't dead. I could see it was gearing up for another attack, so I got out the heavy artillery. I hit it the Louisville slugger, but it came back for more. Then, just as it was about to go for my juglar, I hit a homer into left field. It was down, not moving, but I wasn't taking any chances. I hit it again.

Can anyone identify this thing?

http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh34/Molly_Wens/elves/100_0287.jpg

That's Mothra! Run! Run!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Well . . . in Africa they have these things called tsetses? And the only way to kill them for sure is to grab them as they bite you? And then you twist off the head? And just to make sure you throw the head out one side of the hunting car and the body out the other! And that's not a joke!



What one of those things might be doing in Illinois is a serious question.



Blame it on Global Warming.

 

[SweetWitch]

That's Mothra! Run! Run!

I broke a lamp, a vase, two flower pots and a baseball bat, but the fucker's dead now! I tried to flush it, but the damned thing clogged up the plumbing, so I had to fish it out and bury it in the back yard. It will be fun explaining the burial mound to my husband in the morning.

I swear that man can sleep through anything.

Well . . . in Africa they have these things called tsetses? And the only way to kill them for sure is to grab them as they bite you? And then you twist off the head? And just to make sure you throw the head out one side of the hunting car and the body out the other! And that's not a joke!



What one of those things might be doing in Illinois is a serious question.



Blame it on Global Warming.

I don't care what you blame it on, my house is a mess now. Sigh.

 

[TE999]

I broke a lamp, a vase, two flower pots and a baseball bat, but the fucker's dead now! I tried to flush it, but the damned thing clogged up the plumbing, so I had to fish it out and bury it in the back yard. It will be fun explaining the burial mound to my husband in the morning.

Make sure you bury it deep.

For the record, it appears to be a variety of fly commonly referred to as a 'Bee Fly'. They're large, noisy and harmless. They live on nectar, but their larva are predacious and eat other insects.

 

[SweetWitch]

Make sure you bury it deep.

For the record, it appears to be a variety of fly commonly referred to as a 'Bee Fly'. They're large, noisy and harmless. They live on nectar, but their larva are predacious and eat other insects.

It sure didn't act harmless. It was out for blood, I tells ya!

 

[TE999]

It sure didn't act harmless. It was out for blood, I tells ya!

It saw a flower of womanhood and wanted some nectar.

 

[SweetWitch]

It saw a flower of womanhood and wanted some nectar.

I dont' know whether to be flattered or horrified.

 

[TE999]

I dont' know whether to be flattered or horrified.

Go with flattered.

 

[Liar]

Make sure you bury it deep.

And sever the head. And drive a tiny stake through it's heart.

 

[SweetWitch]

And sever the head. And drive a tiny stake through it's heart.

Snerk. I kept hearing noises in the night that robbed me of precious sleep. I just knew it was that nasty thing coming back for revenge.

 

[Handley_Page]

Take a bottle of Holy Water and sprinkle it on the grave and in the bathroom. Make devout representations to your Deity of choice for deliverance from the ghost of the Buzzer.

And Pray. . . .

 

[R. Richard]

Take a bottle of Holy Water and sprinkle it on the grave and in the bathroom. Make devout representations to your Deity of choice for deliverance from the ghost of the Buzzer.

And Pray. . . .

Good idea, but inadequate. I would recommend a full exorcism.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Fire! Fire! Fire! Burn baby BURN!!!

 

[SweetWitch]

Take a bottle of Holy Water and sprinkle it on the grave and in the bathroom. Make devout representations to your Deity of choice for deliverance from the ghost of the Buzzer.

And Pray. . . .

Would sacrificial wine work?

Good idea, but inadequate. I would recommend a full exorcism.

We had an exorcist in the neighborhood, but a couple of kids out halloweenin' scared him to death.

Fire! Fire! Fire! Burn baby BURN!!!

I was thinking of digging it up under the bright sun. You think that would do it?