Uncle comes to stay and nieces can't stop gawking

[allamagione]

Hi! Newbie here, contemplating my first story. I’d be much obliged if anyone has any input or suggestions.

The basic idea....

Charlie is a 41-year-old second-shift [insert occupation]. Loves beer, drives a big truck, never married, maybe a bit of a ladies’ man. Something’s wrong with his apartment, so his brother invites him to stay with them until things are repaired.

His brother has two daughters, and both still live at home. A 21-year-old, shy bookworm type. And a 19-year-old, very outgoing, flirtacious, etc.

Charlie’s staying in their basement, and one evening he goes to get a glass of water and overhears outgoing niece making suggestive remarks about him, while shy niece, embarrassed, tries to shut her up. They don’t know he’s overheard them (or maybe they do?), and the next day, shy niece keeps blushing around him, acting awkward, etc.

For whatever reason, she and Charlie are home together during the day while the rest of the family is at work or running errands. Glances and casual touches get steamier and steamier until he discovers that outgoing niece might be the talker, but shy niece is the real freak....

 

[Sean Renaud]

I like it. The only problem is the shy one HERE doesn't really make sense. Most people aren't shy around family, not particularly. So unless there was a reason to suspect the uncle or other family might over hear them there is no reason to shut her up.

 

[allamagione]

Thanks, Sean!

I was thinking there would be some outward prudery involved. Perhaps the younger is always teasing the older about being too uptight about sex. So she starts saying these dirty things about the uncle, trying to rile her sister up. Maybe she doesn’t realize how close she’s hitting to home, how much the older sister has thought about the uncle over the years, how very ashamed she is of that....

Does that seem implausible?

 

[Sean Renaud]

Yes it sounds a lot more plausible, or you could just have paper thin walls where everybody can hear everything but then both of them would be a little unlikely to have the conversation. Or you could stretch the story out enough that it dealt with say a party, a dinner, a graduation or something. Places sufficiently private that the shy one would be shy.

 

[allamagione]

Thanks for the feedback, guys!

I’ve decided on the girls talking in the kitchen while the parents are elsewhere in the house, which will be the first scene. I got it blocked out this morning. Yay.

I think I’ll let it marinate for a while because I have several smutty projects elsewhere to work on. But meanwhile, if anyone is just dying to write it for me, feel free. Porn is like a sandwich, after all.

I’ll also gladly take suggestions regarding tension builders. I’m thinking I would be remiss to not at least include a sunscreen-by-the-pool massage scene.

 

[Sean Renaud]

You're always more than welcome to feedback around here. You'll find that we are generally a friendly bunch with me being probably the biggest consistent prick you'll find around the story ideas board.

I might be most of the way through this story with just a little more than the sex to write which is usually a good place. I'm probably not putting out much more this year though, I really need to get a Winter holidays story done so even being close doesn't mean that I'll finishe this particularly quickly and I occasionally get wordy. I kinda tried a new style this time with a lot of relatively short segments glued together.

I do want to know how porn is like a sandwich though.

 

[allamagione]

Ha! Consistency is key. And I’d love to read whatever you come up with.

I get wordy, too. I enjoy the tension as much as the sex, particularly with incest stories, and that inevitably leads to higher word counts.

How is it like a sandwich? It’s always better when someone else makes it for you. They might put too much mayonnaise on it, but at least you didn’t have to get off the couch.

 

[Sean Renaud]

LOL.

I think that's why porn is like a handjob. . .