Unapproachable?

[Ms_Lilith]

My best friend is beautiful. She's smart and talented (an opera and jazz singer), she's a lifeguard, she's just perfect. And she's perfect as my best friend. I love her to death.

So with all this wonderfulness that she is, why can't she find a good guy to date?!

Apparently, she's unapproachable. Seriously. Guys have always approached ME for HER phone number. I never understood that. She intimidates people, I suppose, with all her beauty and loveliness... but if they only gathered the guts to approach her and get to know her, they'd fall head over heels in love with her! She's the sweetest girl in the world! We've been friends for 17 years.. and we're only 20.

I've always been the easy-to-approach one. I'm the overweight, less pretty, but still damned smart and funny one. I'm one of the guys. No one's scared of me.. lol.. until I flex my muscles... then guys get nervous.

Anyway.. there was a point to this...

Do you ever feel unapproachable? Or do you know someone who is?


If you do feel unapproachable, why do you think so? I'm not looking for people to feel conceited, or to feel shy.. I'm honestly curious...

 

[Guest]

YOU

May "approach" the bench.

 

[Problem Child]

Men are afraid of rejection just like anyone else.

 

[celiaKitten]

I've been told I'm intimidating. I'm not exceptionally beautiful, but I'm pretty smart, a little sarcastic and not afraid to be in a spotlight.

 

[Tantanah]

I've been told I'm unapproachable. I'm usually quiet and lost in my own thoughts or day dreaming. I briefly smile and look away unless it's someone I know really well, then I could talk their head off.

My shyness is often mistaken for unfriendly.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

wait, I forgot to add something...

plenty of guys date her, but they never come back after she's told them she's waiting for the right guy before she has sex.

She's been assaulted (not raped, but still assaulted) a few times.

It's like they envision her as a sex toy, and then when she breaks that fantasy, they walk away....

Hence I said she can't find a GOOD guy to date. All the good quality guys are scared.. I don't understand!

 

[Starfish]

I have only been asked out once. All other times guys would ask my friends about me, or they'd just tell everyone that they had a thing for me and they hoped I'd hear about it and approach them.

It really sort of sucked. That was better than the other kind of attention I got from men.

 

[superlittlegirl]

Starfishie,

Will you go out with me?

--Freya

 

[Starfish]

wait, I forgot to add something...

plenty of guys date her, but they never come back after she's told them she's waiting for the right guy before she has sex.

She's been assaulted (not raped, but still assaulted) a few times.

It's like they envision her as a sex toy, and then when she breaks that fantasy, they walk away....

Hence I said she can't find a GOOD guy to date. All the good quality guys are scared.. I don't understand!

Wow, she sounds like me. Though I didn't wait so to speak, but I was very very very unliberal about who got the fishpuss.

I was very very bent on having a good thing going in order for there to be sex, and one of those things would have to be if he respected that I didn't want to, whenever I didn't.

 

[Starfish]

Starfishie,

Will you go out with me?

--Freya

OH MY! Yes!

(gets all squiggling and happy)







Well, if I lived near you I would.

Let's pretend.

Dave is going to be jealous, but I have a feeling that if you met him and could see his enormous dick that you'd want him to and we could all go out and have fun.

 

[Guest]

Men are afraid of rejection just like anyone else.

Yep. They're giving up before they get rejected here. Unless the man is very very confident, he'll skip her and conceed defeat.

Wait, how can she be your best friend and not be enjoying sex?

 

[Star of Penumbra]

Men leave when she tells them that she's waiting for the right person to have sex with because they don't wan to spend a lot of time and/or money on something that they belive they will not get any kind of return investment (in this case, sex) from. It's as simple as that.

If she really wants to find a man that will appreciate her, tell her to look in the geek community, of which I am a part, so I know what I'm talking about.

Geeks don't get out much, so it's unlikely that you will encounter them in social situations, unless the two of you hang out in Radio Shack or bookstores or someplace similar.

Any male geek would be grateful to have a woman interested in him, even if it's just for companionship and friendship. And sicne geeks don't waste money on useless expensive cars and fancy clothes that are specifically for impressing women, which hardly ever works anyway, they usually have plenty to spend on restaurants and gifts.

She'll quite likely have to make the first move, since most ggeks are nervous around attractive women. Even if she's rejected a few times, it's probably more due to him being nervous than anything about her.

Okay, I'm done rambling now.

 

[superlittlegirl]

I couldn't agree more. Geek love is totally where it's at. The added bonus is that she will in all probability find someone who has a compatible level of intelligence. That's so important.

Men leave when she tells them that she's waiting for the right person to have sex with because they don't wan to spend a lot of time and/or money on something that they belive they will not get any kind of return investment (in this case, sex) from. It's as simple as that.

If she really wants to find a man that will appreciate her, tell her to look in the geek community, of which I am a part, so I know what I'm talking about.

Geeks don't get out much, so it's unlikely that you will encounter them in social situations, unless the two of you hang out in Radio Shack or bookstores or someplace similar.

Any male geek would be grateful to have a woman interested in him, even if it's just for companionship and friendship. And sicne geeks don't waste money on useless expensive cars and fancy clothes that are specifically for impressing women, which hardly ever works anyway, they usually have plenty to spend on restaurants and gifts.

She'll quite likely have to make the first move, since most ggeks are nervous around attractive women. Even if she's rejected a few times, it's probably more due to him being nervous than anything about her.

Okay, I'm done rambling now.

 

[nasty1]

Actually, people think I'm very nice & friendly, but, when it comes to forming a relationship BEYOND friends, I can't approach ANYONE! And, nobody has ever asked me. I'm WAY to uptight about sex,(if you didn't notice,) so, I don't know what I would say if a woman DID approach me,(even just for a date.) Because, dating leads to more intimacy.

 

[gangbangking]

I'm a 6' 4" black man with a shaved head in a biker jacket... most people think i'm going to kill them...

 

[Rambrat]

I've been told this (after they started talking to me)...because I look too intense...lol...

 

[superlittlegirl]

I'm a 6' 4" black man with a shaved head in a biker jacket... most people think i'm going to kill them...

From your description, I'd probably be way drawn to you in real life, but your name rather frightens me. (But you likely don't introduce yourself as gangbangking in RL, so I would have no worries)

 

[Laurel]

I'm a 6' 4" black man with a shaved head in a biker jacket... most people think i'm going to kill them...

Mr. Fishburne?

 

[JazzManJim]

Geek Lovin' is the Best Lovin'. I know. I'm a Geek.

I've never had the unapproachability problem. I usually get a bit of surprise that I can be sexy and sensual and look as I do. That's always a real kick in the ass.

But most guys just don't want to be rejected. Those who don't care are generally, but not always, not the good guys, so it's a bit of a problem.

Good guys'll come along, though. They always do.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Yep. They're giving up before they get rejected here. Unless the man is very very confident, he'll skip her and conceed defeat.

Wait, how can she be your best friend and not be enjoying sex?

night and day.

I'm the booksmart one, she's the artsmart one.
I'm the sexpot, she's innocent.
I'm heavy, she's thin (and gangly.. LONG legs on that girl)
I'm naturally blonde, she's naturally brunette (we're both redheads right now, though)
you get the idea... we often thought that if we took our best qualities and put them together we'd have the perfect woman.

 

[Guest]

 

[nasty1]

But most guys just don't want to be rejected.

You said a mouthful.

 

[enjoyingitall]

I've been told a few too many times that I am unapproachable. I've never figured out why, so I let going of trying to years ago. Unfortunately, some people find me a bit aloof or stand-offish.

Even on lit, I've had some pms sent to me that begin with lines like, "you probably won't respond to me, but......" I don't know, I guess I don't come across as the friendliest person on the block.

But once I get to know someone a bit, they often tell me that they had the wrong impression of me.

Perception is an odd thing at times.

 

[gangbangking]

From your description, I'd probably be way drawn to you in real life, but your name rather frightens me. (But you likely don't introduce yourself as gangbangking in RL, so I would have no worries)

Yeah my parents werent that cruel

but part of my name is King, the rest is a hobby

 

[sabbathstorm]

I've been told that I'm unapproachable because I appear to be far too serious. I'm not exactly the bubbly type and maybe I do look like I'll rip someone's head off at a moment's notice but that's part of my charm