Un-intelligent Design Theory

[dr_mabeuse]

Intelligent Design posits that life is generally just too swell to have happened by accident.

I take the opposite view. I think that certain aspects of life are proof that it all happened randomly. For instance:

--the confused placement of the excretory orifices coincidental with the sexual organs. If there were intelligent design, our assholes would be in the heel of our left foot. Our ureters woulr be on the tip of the big toe.

--Ass-crack hair: certain proof that God does not exist.

--Nose and ear hair: (see ass-crack hair, above)

--Adipose tissue: If there were a loving God, fat would come in removable modules that you could store in your closet till needed. That way you wouldn't have to haul all that baggage around.

--Arthritis: Nice job, Jehovah. Popeil wouldn't even release a product with such an obvious defect.

--Baby-toe nails: Good for what??

Finally: I take the fact that there are no kangaroos on the moon as strong evidence that we live in a godless universe. Wouldn't life be more complete if, every time you looked up at old Luna, you knew there were kangaroos hopping around on it?

 

[impressive]

Finally: I take the fact that there are no kangaroos on the moon as strong evidence that we live in a godless universe. Wouldn't life be more complete if, every time you looked up at old Luna, you knew there were kangaroos hopping around on it?

... and at 6x the distance they could do so on Earth? Hell, yeah -- that'd make my day (as long as they don't eat all the cheese).

EDITED: The foot fetishists are coming after you, now. Run!

 

[rgraham666]

I vote for whatever created the universe as having a really twisted sense of humour.

I mean, the duckbilled platypus?

A mite born pregnant whose children eat her alive?

Nudibranches? Weirdest looking things on the planet.

I don't know if intelligence and humour are the same thing, but the smartest person I ever knew was also the dullest. So I prefer humourous.

 

[Guest]

And why do men have nipples, but no breasts? Does a plummer put a spigot on the wall with no pipe?

Why does the right arm throw the ball way out there and the left throws it over in the neighbors yard?

What about your nose? Let's be serious; Who wants a big wet drainy thing upside down over their mouth? It's unsafe. It's unsanitary. Hell, if the Health Dept. saw it you'd have ten days to fix it or get out. But where else could you put your nose? Every place out of the way has a spell to it.You could swith it with your navel, but then your face would look like a bowling ball. And every time you sneezed you zipper would whistle. Or your dress would fly up.

I always thought it would have been smarter to make the entire body modular, that way tou could change the things you don't like. You could send that left arm back and get one that works. You're laying in bed late one Saturday morning and your SO says, "Get your ass outta bed!" and you say, "Here! Take it! get it outta here!". And you could ask them for a piece and just might get one.

It would also allow you to take your arms off before you go to bed. That way you wouldn't sleep on them and wake up with them so numb you can't feel anything. Only problem is: Once you get the first one off, what do you use to take the other off? And how do you get them back on?

 

[rosco rathbone]

I just finished Daniel Dennett's trilogy of Consciousness Explained, Darwin's Dangerous Idea, Freedom Evolves. A must for the informed layman re all this intelligent design/creation science bollocks in the media these days.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I vote for whatever created the universe as having a really twisted sense of humour.

I mean, the duckbilled platypus?

A mite born pregnant whose children eat her alive?

Nudibranches? Weirdest looking things on the planet.

I don't know if intelligence and humour are the same thing, but the smartest person I ever knew was also the dullest. So I prefer humourous.

"I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's
Got a sick sense of humour
And when I die
I expect to find
Him laughing...."

"Blaphemous Rumors"
- DePeche Mode

 

[R. Richard]

I mean, the duckbilled platypus?

Nudibranches? Weirdest looking things on the planet.

Both the duck billed platypus and nudibranches are strange looking. However, check out the star nosed mole!

 

[rgraham666]

"I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumours
But I think that God's
Got a sick sense of humour
And when I die
I expect to find
Him laughing...."

"Blaphemous Rumors"
- DePeche Mode

I had forgotten that song LadyJ. Good one.

Christ, I'm getting old.

Both the duck billed platypus and nudibranches are strange looking. However, check out the star nosed mole!

And for a sick sense of humour try the naked mole rat.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

What about your nose? Let's be serious; Who wants a big wet drainy thing upside down over their mouth? It's unsafe. It's unsanitary. Hell, if the Health Dept. saw it you'd have ten days to fix it or get out. But where else could you put your nose? Every place out of the way has a spell to it.You could swith it with your navel, but then your face would look like a bowling ball. And every time you sneezed you zipper would whistle. Or your dress would fly up.

Your nose belongs on your fingertips. That way you could smell your food before you ate it, and when you were going to sneeze you could shove your hand into your pocket to avoid splattering everyone..

It would also be easier to pick.

 

[Couture]

Your nose belongs on your fingertips. That way you could smell your food before you ate it, and when you were going to sneeze you could shove your hand into your pocket to avoid splattering everyone..

It would also be easier to pick.

Great idea . . . till you had to wipe your ass.

 

[Guest]

It would also be easier to pick.

Or harder. Depends on your technique and how may fingers your nose is on.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

. . . What about your nose?. . . Who wants a big wet drainy thing upside down over their mouth? It's unsafe. It's unsanitary. Hell, if the Health Dept. saw it you'd have ten days to fix it or get out. . . .

And who has ever heard of running a sewage disposal system smack dab through the middle of a recreation area.

 

[Guest]

And who has ever heard of running a sewage disposal system smack dab through the middle of a recreation area.

I beg to differ. Recreation areas are required to have self contained solid waste disposal systems to prevent contamination of the recreational area.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Great idea . . . till you had to wipe your ass.

That's why your ass should be on the sole of your foot.

You could wipe yoursel by dancing.

 

[elsol]

*shrug*

You make a good point... but...

Then there's the weirdest little things, like shit being a great fertilizer.

It makes me believe in something.

Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[Seattle Zack]

Then, when I drop the toast, buttered side diwn, it always lands to make the greatest mess imaginable on the carpet.

The premise of Intelligent Design is that the universe is so unimaginably complex and perfect that it must have been created by an intelligent designer. The classic analogy used in this argument is that of the watch and the watchmaker. William Paley wrote in his book, Natural Theology:

"In crossing a heath, suppose I pitched my foot against a stone, and were asked how the stone came to be there; I might possibly answer, that, for any thing I knew to the contrary, it had lain there for ever: nor would it perhaps be very easy to show the absurdity of this answer. But suppose I had found a watch upon the ground, and it should be inquired how the watch happened to be in that place; I should hardly think of the answer which I had before given, that, for any thing I knew, the watch might have always been there. Yet why should not this answer serve for the watch as well as for the stone? Why is it not as admissible in the second case, as in the first"

Ok, sure. The watchmaker analogy attempts to show that just as a watch could not come into existence by random events, neither could a human being. All arguments for design are essentially derivatives of this argument, and none of them succeed in lending any credibility to Intelligent Design.

For C/christians, it's difficult to imagine that the human species is not the result of a chaotic evolutionary period that produced the spawn of apes as the epitome of mankind.

While most historical events have multiple causes, Charles Darwin's theoretical coupling of natural selection with random variations clearly provided the impetus for removing the concept of design from the biological sciences.

It was not an appeal to historical change or "evolution" that made Darwin's theory unique. Nor was it the concept of universal common ancestry or the modest claim that natural selection explains some things. Darwin's theory was revolutionary because it banished the concept of intelligent design from biology, consigning it to a marginal theological ghetto. For the first time, there seemed to be a plausible materialistic explanation for all those ingenious biological mechanisms -- the brain and the eye, digestion and circulation, feathers and fins.

Unfortunately, others extended Darwin's ban on intelligent design to include the origin of life and the universe itself. Us poor humans were left with a view of our species as mere animals who inhabit a universe ruled by chance, and whose behavior and thoughts are determined by the immutable and impersonal forces of nature and environment.

 

[Liar]

The question is: How intelligent.

If indeed there is a design behind the Universe, at least not ruling out the possibility, then I'd say that yes, it's quite cleverly thought out. But only quite.

If one advocates Intelligent Design, one must also believe in a fallible creator. One who did a pretty good job, but not without the occational fuckups. That's actually a god that I could believe in.

#L

 

[impressive]

If one advocates Intelligent Design, one must also believe in a fallible creator. One who did a pretty good job, but not without the occational fuckups. That's actually a god that I could believe in.

#L

... but not worship.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

"In the beginning, the Universe was created
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely widely regarded as a bad move"

-Douglas Adams



Intelligent Design is obviously a cockup because it relies on the idea "Science is really hard. I don't want to think about it anymore. It's all made by magic pixie elves (insert your variation here depending on your worldview).

However

The reverse holds. Just because something is inexplicable or inherently stupid doesn't mean some divine being didn't get really bored. Heck, the "really bored" deity theorem would explain everything of natural existence and human history. We could very well be the Gods's version of reality TV.

The only thing I maintain is that the most likely, most probable tool by either entropy or deity is evolution. There is little to no evidence that what has arisen didn't arise via natural selection and punctuated equilibrium and observational evidence that backs it up.

All the "it's stupid" vs. "it's inexplicable" smacks of laziness and cattiness.

 

[cantdog]

Pre-Darwin natural history is full of statements about the "purpose" of given features of the animals and plants described, sometimes like this: "A wise Providence hath equipped the finch with a beak wonderfully made for cracking Seeds." It makes you tired to read all this insupportable stuff in a science text. You have to sift it to get any use out of the kernels, since a lot of it is dross. Darwin did a service unparalleled to science generally.

 

[Guest]

 

[LadyJeanne]

ok. how about this:

Intelligent being created all....and is STILL in the act of creation.

AND evolution is PART of his creation...

and as part of that CREATIVE evolution we ARE GOING to have our ass on our feet and our noses in our fingertips...?


as currently many have heads up asses...seems likely body parts CAN migrate.


MAYBE "intelligent creator"...is not in such a big fat hurry as WE might suppose?

Otherwise known as The Crockpot Theory or "What's That Green Stuff in the Back of the Refrigerator?"

 

[Guest]

 

[LadyJeanne]

HEY NOW!

You might be talking about "The CREATOR HIMSELF!"

spontaeneous generation and all.


hmmmmm?


(are you calling ME a CROCKpot???...why, I oughta....)

(You, a crockpot? Are you stewing in your own juices?)

It could also be the "Attention Span of a Six-Year-Old" Theory. Like, he was all excited to get the "Make Your Own Universe" kit in the mail, but then lost interest after 6 days.

 

[Guest]