ummm i got hit on last night

[knightstalker]

I was at the bar last night watching the hockey game having a cold one..I was sitting next to this guy who started talking to me and i started to talk back .He seemed like a nice enough guy when after about an hour he started to get a little drunk..The next thing i know he puts his hand on my leg a little to close for comfort..I looked over at him and he smiled that certain smile at me ..Now i have never been hit on by a guy before and have no intrest in being with a man nothing against gay people just not interested..I took his hand off of my leg and said dont touch me like that again ..I figured it was over but oh no the guy starts to put his hand on me again ..Now I'm pissed and take his hand bend it back real far and tell him if he touches me one more time i will break it ..Finale he leaves and i go back to the game when this big ugly bouncer comes over and tells me i have to leave for threating a customer .I was pissed but figured i didnt want any trouble so i got up to leave and that guy was standing by the door and blew me a kiss ..I thought what the hell and went over to him and punched him right in the nose..Was i right to do that or was i wrong..

 

[petrel]

I took his hand off of my leg and said dont touch me like that again ..I figured it was over but oh no the guy starts to put his hand on me again ..Now I'm pissed and take his hand bend it back real far and tell him if he touches me one more time i will break it ..Finale he leaves and i go back to the game when this big ugly bouncer comes over and tells me i have to leave for threating a customer .I was pissed but figured i didnt want any trouble so i got up to leave and that guy was standing by the door and blew me a kiss ..I thought what the hell and went over to him and punched him right in the nose..Was i right to do that or was i wrong..

ahem - if oyu punch everyone who smiles at you you are gonna have a real intereesting time
yes; it was okay to tell him to take his hand off your leg - i woudl do the same if a guy hit on me when i wasn't interested, the huritng him and threatening him is not on however, take a tip from the way we women handle this stuff, if someone keeps being persistant there are two options one is to walk away, the other if they have annoyed you or been rude themsleves is to say very loudly take oyu hand off me you lech, i'm not interested in shagging you, - being embaresed like that in public normally puts most people off,
you NEVER hit someone unless they have you in headlock and are trying to rape you.
and look what happened you got in trouble and had to leave your beer!

 

[knightstalker]

I know now i handled the situation wrong ..It just freaked me out and after a couple of beers in me i got carried away...If i seen the guy today tho i still wouldnt apoligize..I think he was in the wrong to and he did ask for it as i was leaving but i do realize i was wrong and if it ever happens again i will go about it different and take your advise

 

[1HotNurse]

obnoxious drunk

There's nothing worse than having an obnoxious drunk who won't take no for an answer. Male or female, it doesn't matter. So...no I don't think you were wrong in hitting him, you did tell him to leave you alone....

 

[girl]

Well, it comes down to protecting yourself. You hit him - that's against the law and can get you thrown in jail. Was it worth it? If they'd called the cops and you'd have spent the night in jail with Bubba, would that have been worth hitting him? Understanding that you were freaked out over his not taking no for an answer (kinda gives a new respect for women, eh?), you were still in the wrong by hitting him, even if some folks don't think you were morally wrong, you were still legally wrong.

I completely agree with petrel...embarassing someone in public is a much more effective way of getting him/her to stop. Plus, you'll get all kinds of satisfaction out of humiliating him.

My .02,
girl

 

[girl]

Stupid lag...

Sorry, double post.

girl

 

[knightstalker]

Wasnt worried about them calling the cops..Even tho the bouncer escorted me out he only said he had to since he didnt see the guy make a pass at me and physically touch me ..He told me he would of done the same and that the guy wasn't part of the regular crowd and told me to come back over the weekend..I will probably stop in there since it seemed nice right up til then..

 

[J.B.]

let's see

I think your initial reply was very well done... There are people who can't take "no" for an answer & the way you handled it was what I would have done in you shoes... & I agree it's not that it was a man hitting on a man it was that the guy was weasly enough to go & tell on you because you turned him down. I don't have patience for those who do not respect your wishes be they male of female...

 

[SexyChele]

Knightstalker, welcome to the world of women!

Truthfully, you handled the first incident well. When the offending party tried a second time, I agree with the poster who said use embarassment to get your point across. Nothing will make a man slink further into the corner, then some one yelling out for all to hear, for them to get their hands off of you and to leave you alone. Might have attracted the attention of the bouncer as well - and the offending party might have been thrown out.

Anyways....water under the bridge now. Live and learn, and at least you didn't go to jail over the little turd!

 

[P. B. Walker]

Your best bet...

Next time that happens is to either pick is hand off your leg (the second time) and walk over to the bouncer. Tell him the guy is hitting on you and your not interested (or gay) and you'd like him to stop. The bouncer will either move him away or kick him out. Plus, once the bouncer see he's drunk, he'll probably be booted out of the bar all together. If there isn't a bouncer, wave the bartender over and tell him the situation.

If neither bartender or bouncer take care of the problem, tell them you'll call the cops and report a sexual harrassment. The last thing a bar's managment wants is cops in the bar.

Now this probably won't work in a gay bar... lol

and BTW... if you warn someone not to put your hands on them in front of witnesses, you can defend yourself the next time as long as you use reasonable force. Unfortunately, a guy putting his hand on your legs and then you decking him is not reasonable force.

My 2 cents...

- PBW

 

[karmadog]

I used to work in a bar that was gay friendly. It wasn't a gay bar, but the owners were gay and many customers were gay. It probably wasn't the best idea to hit him because whether the bar wants to or not, HE could have called the cops.

As a bartender, I think the best move is to call the bartender. He might have known the guy was a problem and thrown him out immediately. At the least he would have gotten him to move.

That said, I don't blame you for cleaning his clock.

 

[Keyser711]

Knight Stalker, you were absolutely 100% correct. That's one of the problems with today's society. We give way too many rights to people of "alternative lifestyles," and are supposed to just let them do whatever they want, because "hey, if we dislike someone whose a homosexual, then we MUST be prejudiced." You did something very admirable, and you should be proud that you stood up for yourself, and not let some queer make a move on you.
P.S. not every guy in jail is named Bubba, lol

 

[knightstalker]

I just want to state for the record that i dont hate gay people ..I have known many gays and have never had a problem with them..The whole thing is about his unwanted advances and him not taking no for an answer..Know i do know what it feels like for women when men wont take no for an answer..I dont do that myself i have nothing but the utmost respect for women and if she says not interested i leave it at that..Again this isnt about gay people at all ..

 

[girl]

knightstalker, I have a lot of respect for the way you're handling the situation now, listening to everyone's viewpoints and such.

I am a bit disturbed at people's approval of violence as a way to deal with unwanted but nonviolent behavior. Very sad.

girl

 

[knightstalker]

Girl

By nature I am not a violent person and do not condone it..I am not using this as an excuse but the beers had a little to do with it..I am sorry to have gotten off on the wrong foot with you..And yes i try to keep up with the responses..Anyway i agree with you even if I'm the guilty party..have a good day

 

[P. B. Walker]

I have to totally disagree with Keyser711 said. I'm sorry, but this incident was definitely NOT about gay rights and the problems with society. This was some drunk horny asshole who wasn't going to take "no" for an answer. He wouldn't listen to you and after you threatened him, he got back at you the only way he (probably) could. How many times have you seen a guy do this to a woman in a bar?

I don't condone the violence myself. I'm sure you were very put off by this and not thinking clearly (you also mentioned you'd had a few beers yourself). A simple one or two minute conversation with the bartender (or bouncer) and he would have been tossed out or moved away from you so you could enjoy your beer and watch the game in peace. Was he a fucking prick for tattle telling to the bouncer? Hell Yes. But at that point it was just better to cut your loses and go home.

This kind of situation happens everyday in America been men and women and rarely does the woman resort to breaking the man's nose. In the end, I think you were very lucky the police were not called. Next time you'll know what to do.

Just my two cents, sorry if I offended anyone.

- PBW

 

[knightstalker]

P.B. your comments are worth more than two cents at least worth a nickle I have come to the conclusion that i should of handled the situation much different and will learn from this mistake ..I am use to dealing with problems on my own but if it ever happens again i will remember you and Girls words ..Thank you for the comments they are much appreciated

 

[girl]

knight, you have a PM

girl

 

[Wizard]

I understand it is wrong and won't disagree with that but for what it is worth I would have done the very same thing..............

He had it coming...........

 

[J.B.]

Not a gay rights issue....

I have to totally disagree with Keyser711 said. I'm sorry, but this incident was definitely NOT about gay rights and the problems with society. This was some drunk horny asshole who wasn't going to take "no" for an answer.

Just my two cents, sorry if I offended anyone.

- PBW

No offence taken here.

I totally agree that there might hae been an alternate way of handeling the situation...
but (ahh here comes the "but") from my view point -as that is the only one am relatively sure of...-
I know that when a guy just can't take "no" for an answer & starts acting like a complete ass hole... well I know I would have gotten so mad that I would have turned violent ....
& let's be honest ladies how many of us haven't used our trusty high heal shoes on a persistant mans instep???.... I figure this is the male version of that...

...steping of my soap box now...

 

[Xanaduvian]

Having read your story, I would have WANTED to punch the guy, not for touching me as much as getting me thrown out, but I wouldn't have. I probably would have moved or reported his unwelcome advances to the managment. They don't want customers being harrassed, straight OR gay; it's not good for business.

That being said, reflect on the possible consequences of your actions. You could have conceivably caused his death or permanent injury, in which case you would have had civil and criminal liability. He could have been armed, and killed or severely injured you. The bouncer, instead of being understanding, could have decided to unload on you. It's just not worth it.

Also, if you were arrested and thrown in jail for punching him, you might have more than someone's hand on your leg...LOL