uh-oh

[Imnotveryclever]

Forgive me any rambling, I have a tendency to do that. Any helps getting my thoughts straight (not sure if the pun's intended or not) would be appreciated.

I've always identified as straight, but this last year I've had two experiences with other girls (the first one far more sexual than the second). I wrote them both off as drunken college experimentation. Even though the sexual attraction I felt for the first girl was the strongest I ever felt and was the trigger for me deciding to break up with my boyfriend of 4 years.

Just a couple of days ago I went to visit some friends. After everyone else had gone to bed, this girl and I really ended up going at it. It was slow, passionate, very back and forth, and enjoyable. The main difference in this was that we were both completely and totally sober.

Now I'm all sorts of confused. What does this all say about who and what I am? How many times can you do something before it becomes who you are? Even though I never really thought about it before, now I'm remember all these moments of being attracted to girls, however brief or passing they were. I'm just kind of jumbled.

I know I'm still attracted to guys, and in both the really sexual encounters I felt like something was kind of missing, but I still don't know what to think. Is the girl thing just a phase? Am I growing out of the guy thing? Do I want both?

Gah, any outside perspective would be nice. I'm lost in all these thoughts.

 

[DerelictionOfSanity]

It sounds like you're probably bisexual. It's nothing to worry about. I think bisexual folks often take longer to figure themselves out than gay people, because they are attracted to the opposite sex, so they just kind of gloss over any same-sex attraction.

Just remember that your sexuality is a part of you, but it doesn't define who you are. You're still you. You just also like girls.

 

[M's girl]

deleted

 

[kalalau]

So many of us have gone through the same thing. You're not alone!! Just take it a day at a time, don't worry, and go with your feelings. Good luck!!

 

[bipat69]

Have to agree with the crowd, from the drunk beginnings to confusing sober experience that was way better than you expected, the same thing happened to me. Welcome to the club, and enjoy!

 

[Imnotveryclever]

You know what, I think I just needed to get it out there so that someone else knew about it. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this sort of thing. I almost find it odd now that I worked myself up about it so much. Thanks for lending an ear.

 

[KokopelliRises]

It sounds like you're probably bisexual. It's nothing to worry about. I think bisexual folks often take longer to figure themselves out than gay people, because they are attracted to the opposite sex, so they just kind of gloss over any same-sex attraction.

It pretty much took me until college to figure myself and my attractions to both men and women out. Now, I'm all the better for it. Everyday has me figuring myself out more and more, which is such a wonderful thing. Have fun with figuring out who you are. It's one hell of an adventure.