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SensualCealy
I do not know what the ..
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I wouldnt care what people think, its your home and if anyone was to walk in to your bedroom and see two beds or one bed and one pillow and the spare room made up as someones new bedroom what business is it of theirs?
If it helps her get the sleep she needs to keep her sane and gives you the time and space to do what you need to do, then why not?
I snore- badly, I also have sleep apnea and wear a c-pac machine. Its hard to feel attractive with a mask on and sounding like darth vador when I breath. Id much rather seperate rooms with seperate beds. Every so often Id love to have him sneak in like he did when we were teens and he was staying over at my parents home.
I think that would bring the excitement back into many marriages!
Good luck,
SC
btw, Id approach it as a sleeping issue and that you care for her deeply but know that your tossing and turning and snoring keeps her from her much needed sleep, that should go along way!
If it helps her get the sleep she needs to keep her sane and gives you the time and space to do what you need to do, then why not?
I snore- badly, I also have sleep apnea and wear a c-pac machine. Its hard to feel attractive with a mask on and sounding like darth vador when I breath. Id much rather seperate rooms with seperate beds. Every so often Id love to have him sneak in like he did when we were teens and he was staying over at my parents home.
I think that would bring the excitement back into many marriages!
Good luck,
SC
btw, Id approach it as a sleeping issue and that you care for her deeply but know that your tossing and turning and snoring keeps her from her much needed sleep, that should go along way!
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oggbashan
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Two houses is better
My wife and I sleep in separate houses a mile apart.
That way she doesn't hear me snore, and I don't hear her either.
It is a temporary arrangement until we sell the old house but works well.
Before that, we have had separate bedrooms for years. We have very different sleep patterns and kept disturbing each other's sleep. 'Your place or mine?' adds interest to a marriage and still lets us have a good night's sleep.
Both of us have beds large enough to accomodate two if we want to stay together all night.
The other advantage is that I don't object to her clutter around the washbasin; she doesn't object to mine. Why should we? We have separate bathrooms as well. At present we have 4 bathrooms, 7 toilets, and 9 bedrooms to choose from. Keeping them all clean is a slight nuisance.
If the couple are of very different build or have different sleep patterns I recommend at least separate beds or if possible separate bedrooms. You can always find somewhere for sex.
Og
My wife and I sleep in separate houses a mile apart.
That way she doesn't hear me snore, and I don't hear her either.
It is a temporary arrangement until we sell the old house but works well.
Before that, we have had separate bedrooms for years. We have very different sleep patterns and kept disturbing each other's sleep. 'Your place or mine?' adds interest to a marriage and still lets us have a good night's sleep.
Both of us have beds large enough to accomodate two if we want to stay together all night.
The other advantage is that I don't object to her clutter around the washbasin; she doesn't object to mine. Why should we? We have separate bathrooms as well. At present we have 4 bathrooms, 7 toilets, and 9 bedrooms to choose from. Keeping them all clean is a slight nuisance.
If the couple are of very different build or have different sleep patterns I recommend at least separate beds or if possible separate bedrooms. You can always find somewhere for sex.
Og
OhMissScarlett
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I totally agree with Og on this matter. My bf and I have slept in separate rooms for about a year now. Our relationship is fine, but we both have back problems and can't get comfortable sometimes. It always seemed one of was tossing and turning when the other was just trying to doze off.
I think we might actually have better sex now than ever. Of course we don't have as much sex as we'd like to(no one with little kids does). But, often we lock ourselves in the bathroom for an afternoon shag or he comes to visit me at night. I definitely want sex more when I'm well-rested.
I think we might actually have better sex now than ever. Of course we don't have as much sex as we'd like to(no one with little kids does). But, often we lock ourselves in the bathroom for an afternoon shag or he comes to visit me at night. I definitely want sex more when I'm well-rested.
SnoopDog
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I remember a good episode of the greatest sitcom 'King Of Queens' where they tried seperate beds and loved it. So they decided to do the splitting in all different aspects of their lifes (free time, going to dinner, etc.).....till they missed each other.
Finally they realised it was a nice change but they had to get back to the old system. Because it's amore baby.
Snoopy
Finally they realised it was a nice change but they had to get back to the old system. Because it's amore baby.
Snoopy
Boxlicker101
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I remember in the early "I Love Lucy" they had separate beds but in later shows, they shared a double bed. I'm surprised that "The Dick Van Dyke Show" would do that because that was in a more enlightened time than Lucy was.
Personally, I like the intimacy of sharing a bed with my wife and I would hate to have to give that up. I think, or at least hope, that she feels the same way.
Even so, this is something everybody decides on their own and it is nobody else's business.
Personally, I like the intimacy of sharing a bed with my wife and I would hate to have to give that up. I think, or at least hope, that she feels the same way.
Even so, this is something everybody decides on their own and it is nobody else's business.
SnoopDog
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I think sharing a bed is a really romantic yet necessary thing. I think the warmth of another body, contact with somebody's skin, all that is necessary for human beings.
I'm hoping I won't have to wait any longer for that.
I have slept only twice next to a girl in one bed and both of them were just sleeping next to each other.
If I were married I'd never ever consider seperate beds.
Snoopy
I'm hoping I won't have to wait any longer for that.
I have slept only twice next to a girl in one bed and both of them were just sleeping next to each other.
If I were married I'd never ever consider seperate beds.
Snoopy
gauchecritic
When there are grey skies
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As a partial solution I'd suggest perhaps two single mattresses on a double bed or go the expensive way and buy one of those 'sleeps two seperately' beds. A place we visit regularly has those and they are very convivial and comfortable at the same time.
I don't think seperate beds would work for me and our lass, we neither sleep very well without the other, although I must admit the sneaking from room to room sounds exciting.
Gauche
I don't think seperate beds would work for me and our lass, we neither sleep very well without the other, although I must admit the sneaking from room to room sounds exciting.
Gauche
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My ideal marriage/whatever living arrangement would be separate homes, but connected, e.g. a duplex or flats across the hall from each other.
Perdita
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DirtyJJ
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Snoopy, I remember this episode and it was a great one.SnoopDog said:
I'm with you... maybe it's the romantic in me. I know there are many practical reasons to have separate rooms/ beds but I couldn't do it.... it's hard enough keeping the intimate feelings in a marriage (I'm not even speaking sexually) that separate beds would feel like one more nail in the coffin, so to speak.
Sorry... I know it works for a lot of people but it's not something I would welcome.
JJ
doormouse
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I smell marriage issues to tell the truth.
For the last year of my marriage, I'd sleep in my daughters room or on the couch, anywhere but near my husband.
If you go the separate beds, make sure she's 100% okay with it, or make an extra effort to let her know you still love her and make her feel sexy. Trust me, once you're in separate beds, you lose something in your bond.
I'll get jumped on for this lol... but, cuddling up to a partner is one of the most intimate things I can think of, and I wouldn't care how little sleep I got just because he snored or bumped me. I think it's cute when a guy snores lol
For the last year of my marriage, I'd sleep in my daughters room or on the couch, anywhere but near my husband.
If you go the separate beds, make sure she's 100% okay with it, or make an extra effort to let her know you still love her and make her feel sexy. Trust me, once you're in separate beds, you lose something in your bond.
I'll get jumped on for this lol... but, cuddling up to a partner is one of the most intimate things I can think of, and I wouldn't care how little sleep I got just because he snored or bumped me. I think it's cute when a guy snores lol
rgraham666
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I won't jump on you, doormouse.
Being snuggled up against someone warm and soft is the only thing I miss from my marriage. And it's been over a decade now.
Being snuggled up against someone warm and soft is the only thing I miss from my marriage. And it's been over a decade now.
Boxlicker101
Licker of Boxes
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doormouse said:
I might jump on you Mousie but if I do, it will be out of lust, not out of disagreement. I agree with you 100%. Sleeping with a spouse or SO is one of the most intimate thing there is in a marriage. Not just the sex, although that's nice too, but just the sharing of the bed. I would really hate it if my wife were to want separate beds.
carsonshepherd
comeback kid
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Separate beds have saved a lot of relationships I've seen. If you're both secure enough to handle it, it's wonderful.
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SeaCat
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Rhino
Sounds like yours is one of those marriages where seperate beds might work. Some of her complaints may be valid, especialy if she is a light sleeper. Snoring can be one of the most annoying noises to hear when trying to fall asleep. (Second only to the whines of either a mosquito or a neighbors child.)
her comments on the hogging of the bed and/or coves can be easily solved, but it requires her being willing to work with you. (Anchoring the covers half way down the bed on her side will allow her to get into bed yet make it difficult for you to steal the covers. As for the hogging of the bed you can roll a sheet or a blanket into a long roll, then place it under the bottom sheet down the middle of the bed. This will usually stop a person from moving to the other side of the bed unless they are actually trying to do so.)
If it turns out to be needed then seperate beds can work, just make sure they are close enough that either of you can easily reach across and touch the other. If she worries about what others think then you can push the beds together in the morning and just throw the comforter over the two of them making it look like a large bed. (On the other hand why is she worried about what other people think about what the two of you do in the privacy of your bedroom? If they are close enough friends that they are allowed into your bedroom then they are close enough friends to not even question it.)
As for bringing it up with her, the ideas brought up by the others here are the best. Approach it as a sleep problem issue. As for the intimacy issue, unless there are other problems involved then an increase in sleep should help. Although here too the both of you will have to work at it to get back into the habit. (A good cure for the wet spot problem. Put down a nice thick, soft towel. This can be easily removed afterwards thus removing the problem.)
Hope this helps.
Cat
Sounds like yours is one of those marriages where seperate beds might work. Some of her complaints may be valid, especialy if she is a light sleeper. Snoring can be one of the most annoying noises to hear when trying to fall asleep. (Second only to the whines of either a mosquito or a neighbors child.)
her comments on the hogging of the bed and/or coves can be easily solved, but it requires her being willing to work with you. (Anchoring the covers half way down the bed on her side will allow her to get into bed yet make it difficult for you to steal the covers. As for the hogging of the bed you can roll a sheet or a blanket into a long roll, then place it under the bottom sheet down the middle of the bed. This will usually stop a person from moving to the other side of the bed unless they are actually trying to do so.)
If it turns out to be needed then seperate beds can work, just make sure they are close enough that either of you can easily reach across and touch the other. If she worries about what others think then you can push the beds together in the morning and just throw the comforter over the two of them making it look like a large bed. (On the other hand why is she worried about what other people think about what the two of you do in the privacy of your bedroom? If they are close enough friends that they are allowed into your bedroom then they are close enough friends to not even question it.)
As for bringing it up with her, the ideas brought up by the others here are the best. Approach it as a sleep problem issue. As for the intimacy issue, unless there are other problems involved then an increase in sleep should help. Although here too the both of you will have to work at it to get back into the habit. (A good cure for the wet spot problem. Put down a nice thick, soft towel. This can be easily removed afterwards thus removing the problem.)
Hope this helps.
Cat
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SensualCealy
I do not know what the ..
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Just because someone suggests seperate beds doesnt mean there are marriage issues. On the contrary, he is trying to sooth his wife by helping her get the much needed sleep she needs as well, take care of business so they both can sleep.
Those who say they couldn't sleep without the other, well if you had sleep issues you could. I sleep so much better when he isnt there. I dont have him elbowing me to turn over and stop snoring. I fixed the blanket issue by using two queen size comforters. We both have our own. Saturday morning, one of the two days I just may get a chance to sleep in, I usually get his cock shoved in my back, nudging me trying to get me in the mood- Like that will work!!
Seperate beds I think would be great, when he wants it and I dont, he can use his own hand, when I want it and he doesnt, I can use mine! We are both happy! lol
After a long marriage, sex isnt everything!
Cealy
Those who say they couldn't sleep without the other, well if you had sleep issues you could. I sleep so much better when he isnt there. I dont have him elbowing me to turn over and stop snoring. I fixed the blanket issue by using two queen size comforters. We both have our own. Saturday morning, one of the two days I just may get a chance to sleep in, I usually get his cock shoved in my back, nudging me trying to get me in the mood- Like that will work!!
Seperate beds I think would be great, when he wants it and I dont, he can use his own hand, when I want it and he doesnt, I can use mine! We are both happy! lol
After a long marriage, sex isnt everything!
Cealy
oggbashan
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Most of our friends know we sleep separately. As we are at present in different houses at night it wouldn't be easy to hide.
Our friends' usual reaction is 'I'd love to have separate beds/rooms but I'd never dare'.
After 30+ years of marriage, each of us getting a good night's sleep is more important to the whole marriage than snuggling in bed. We can do that too. When we do: it is special.
We get more comments from our friends because we walk down the street hand in hand. Why not?
Og
Our friends' usual reaction is 'I'd love to have separate beds/rooms but I'd never dare'.
After 30+ years of marriage, each of us getting a good night's sleep is more important to the whole marriage than snuggling in bed. We can do that too. When we do: it is special.
We get more comments from our friends because we walk down the street hand in hand. Why not?
Og
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SensualCealy
I do not know what the ..
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I was meaning relationship troubles, what it sounds like you have are just sleep issues , things that are much easier to deal with if you have had the sleep you need.
More sleep- more sex!
more sleep- feel more fit!
more sleep- not a bitch!
more sleep- more time to spend with eachother -not asleep!
Oh and its Sealy- not Cealy Posturepedic! lol
I would agree if you can get one of those two in one beds its worth a shot, and make sure you go see a dr about sleep apnea, if you snore really bad it may be something more then just snoring.
Just trying to help,
Cealy
More sleep- more sex!
more sleep- feel more fit!
more sleep- not a bitch!
more sleep- more time to spend with eachother -not asleep!
Oh and its Sealy- not Cealy Posturepedic! lol
I would agree if you can get one of those two in one beds its worth a shot, and make sure you go see a dr about sleep apnea, if you snore really bad it may be something more then just snoring.
Just trying to help,
Cealy
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English Lady
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Well Hubby and I haver plenty of sex...but we only occassionally sleep in the same bed. He snores, I snore. We both try and hog the duvet and we both wiggle and writhe in our sleep. It is not fun for either us us trying to sleep together *chuckles* Some nights we do snuggle in together and sleep cuddled up (that is lovely) but mostly one of us will get up and go and sleep on the couch eventually*L*
Also he has a different sleep pattern to mine...I'm in bed most night by 11pm....he is often awake till 4 or 5am. It is easier for us to sleep apart.
We get lots of snuggle time. We go upstairs and we snuggle and have sex and then we talk...for hours sometimes. Our relationship is rock solid.
If you need to sleep seperately to actually get some sleep...do it
Also he has a different sleep pattern to mine...I'm in bed most night by 11pm....he is often awake till 4 or 5am. It is easier for us to sleep apart.
We get lots of snuggle time. We go upstairs and we snuggle and have sex and then we talk...for hours sometimes. Our relationship is rock solid.
If you need to sleep seperately to actually get some sleep...do it
