Two are up now!

[Stella_Omega]

oh, the ups, the downs

Two are up now- I have a lovely note from Alexis, thankee kindly-
And I just got a total negative put-down- instant anonymous feedback.

The terrible narrative and jokey feel to the piece ruined any chance of me enjoying it. Most of the time it felt like you were taking the piss out of anyone who enjoys such themes and also me as a reader. Such a bizarre style left me unable to get into the story at all, I am afraid.

Damn!
A teensy part of the "terrible narrative" is from my typographical problems... NOT. Straight narrative and me don't get along so well, in truth.
And it ain't no fair maid and shining knight story. I wonder if I could write one.
I make no apologies for my character's sarcasm, and she'll change her tune son enough... But, I wonder what other people think- is the narrative that disjointed?