Twist or not?

[Carl East]

Feedback is good, but it's not all important to me, mainly because I write for my pleasure as well as those that read my stories. However, I've just had a story submitted today, that's called "The Perfect Woman," and it's supposed to have a twist at the end.

Could someone read this story and tell me if this twist catches you out, or not.

Thanks in advance.

Carl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=54200

 

[Bigdog]

Since you asked

I found the ending to be not so much a twist as a predictable curve. Without giving away the story, I had an inkling of where the ending might go about halfway through.

Not a bad story, just didn't have much punch to the twist.

 

[Carl East]

Re: Since you asked

I found the ending to be not so much a twist as a predictable curve. Without giving away the story, I had an inkling of where the ending might go about halfway through.

Not a bad story, just didn't have much punch to the twist.

Thanks Bigdog, perhaps twist was the wrong word, maybe surprise might have been better.

Carl

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Carl,

It was a nice ending with an amusing little "flip." However, once the story shifted to the doctor's office, it bacame predictable-not bad, just not a surprise. I've got a hunch part of the problem may be the length of time from the beginning of the doctor's office scene to his being alone in the padded cell.

Hope this helps.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[the_bragis]

Carl,

I really liked this quirky little story of yours! Twist or no twist. I've given it a big fat five vote, and not just in my mind either.

Oh and one more thing. Is that hunny in your avatar really you? If so, please do you have any pics of yourself with your shirt off ?


Have a great day,

Alex (fem)

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Oh and one more thing. Is that hunny in your avatar really you? If so, please do you have any pics of yourself with your shirt off ?

Guess I should be grateful no female type lady person's ever asked if that disparing old dude in my avatar is me. RF

 

[damppanties]

Could someone read this story and tell me if this twist catches you out, or not.

Thanks in advance.

Carl

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=54200

I am not sure which twist you're talking about. The shift to the doctor's office was one and the cell was another. Unfortunately, both were entirely predictable for me.

-DP.

 

[Carl East]

Carl,

I really liked this quirky little story of yours! Twist or no twist. I've given it a big fat five vote, and not just in my mind either.

Oh and one more thing. Is that hunny in your avatar really you? If so, please do you have any pics of yourself with your shirt off ?


Have a great day,

Alex (fem)

Thank you the_bragis, and yes that is me with clothes on.

Carl