Twin Sisters: The Prequel (closed to me and Lace)

[naughty_nympho]

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins ​

So, like, here is the history of me, Tracey Michelle Collins. I was born about five minutes after my big sister, Lacey Delphine Collins. I feel bad for her cause her middle name isn’t pretty like mine. But that totally doesn’t matter because without her I don’t know where I’d be. Lacey says I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer and laughs but then she tell me I have a nice ass so it’s ok. Maybe it’s because I’m fatter and because I have a bigger booty. I guess that guys like big butts (at least that is what the rappers say)but I wish I was skinnier like Lace.

Anyways, I was born to a really smart Dad and a really pretty Mom. I’m a lot like Mom, I think. Now that she is gone (more on that later) I call her Chantal because that was her name and it sounds all goddess-like and since she is heaven it makes sense to me. Chantal is French, so I am French, too. Dad was American. He comes from a long line of Collinses. He was Robert "Bobby" Collins Jr III . Fancy name, huh? We are famous for our ketchup, maybe you have heard of it, Collinses Premium Brand Ketchup? That is how it began but now we have more stuff like Collinses Mayo (we have fat free!), Collinses Pickles (like vegetables!), and Collinses 100% Swedish Meatballs (good if you are doing the low carb thing). Grandpa got us into that stuff and our great grandpa who me and Lace only met once started making ketchup from his home after he came over here. Dad used to say that he started it as soon as he got off the boat, but I don’t know where the boat came from. Dad was really romantic and since Chantal was French he added some new stuff to the business, Mere Collins Escargot. I don’t understand why he put the Mere in front of it (it is said like mare, just in case you didn’t know.)

Lacey said there was a war and Dad didn’t want to go, he liked to surf in California and Grandpa Bob wanted him to learn the business, so he went up to Canada for some reason. I don’t know why. Lacey said something about him being a draft dodger? Maybe that has something to do with baseball? Whatever, anyway that is where he met Chantal. Chantal Marie-Claire Cartier. She was French but she lived in Canada. Dad met her and they fell in love and then the stork came to visit them bringing me and Lacey. Like I said, Lacey is 5 minutes older than me. She is like the best big sister ever. Ok I should go back and tell you about Chantal and Dad because it is totally romantic. Chantal was a famous ballerina at La Vierge Bleue. Dad was really cultured and stuff so he goes to ballets and he saw Chantal dancing and he fell in love right then. They live in Quebec City for awhile till Grandpa Bob says it’s ok to come back to America. They got married in a beautiful white church in Las Vegas by ELVIS, (they are big time famous because of the ketchup) and me and Lace were born 4 months later, five minutes apart. That makes us twins, we look alike except I weigh 3 lbs more. I am such a cow.)

Since Chantal had us and said her body isn’t what it used to be she didn’t work anymore but raised me and Lace. She taught us important stuff that girls need to know like how to get an even tan (you don’t wear clothes), how to style our hair, and how to do our nails. And French stuff, too. Lacey hung around with Dad more than me so she learned stuff from him, probably like the secret ketchup recipe. Chantal taught me some ballet on a pole she had. I didn’t have toe shoes but Chantal said they hurt your feet anyway. She said the pole was like the bar. She was like the best mom ever.

Chantal thought it best that we get an education in her heritage (Lacey says that’s her family) so we had to go to a private school in Quebec. At least we were together, Lace helped me with my homework and stuff when it got hard. Then one day someone called Lacey and she started to cry. No more Chantal or Bobby, she told me, they were in heaven now, angels looking down on us. I sometimes wish Chantal would come back down to earth because she was wings and stuff, right? The guy who called Lacey was called Mr. Morty Morgenstern, Esquire. He was our parent’s lawyer; he went to law school like Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. I told Lacey we should do that but she just laughed at me.

Ok, anyway, back to Morty. He is sooo super nice. Like, the first time we met him he gave us lollipops. Lacey likes the cherry ones and I like the grape ones. He talked to the judge in probate (but we weren’t on probation or anything) and he was our guardian. He would come by and visit and give us lollipops and make sure we weren’t getting into any trouble. We also had people working at our house; like a gardener who used to bring me flowers and stuff like that. He used to take his shirt off and wink at me but he was all sweaty. That stuff turns Lace on I think. She is such a dirty slut.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

OK I want to start with this. I really love my sister, she's the sweetest but let's be honest - she's a few sandwiches short of a picknick.

Just wanted to make that clear before telling you guys about myself. As you know I'm Lacey Delphine Collins. I'm 19 and a bit and I live with Tracey in our beachfront house. You already got the background but I feel there's a few things that needs to be clearified. We're not French. I've told Trace a thousand times that Mom was FRENCH CANADIAN. She was not a fancy ballet dancer but a stripper, but hey Trace likes the fantasy and who am I to destroy it for her?

As Trace told you our Dad was Robert "Bob" Collins Jr III, the heir to Collins' Ketchup and what not. He was a sharp one our dad, and he used to tell me that I was the lucky one, having gotten Mom's looks and his brains. Dad was the greatest not to say that Mom was bad or anything but well...let's face it. Intelligence and lack thereof runs in the family. Dad used to say that whereas I got his intelligence and Mom's looks, Trace got Mom's looks and her intelligence. Well it could be worse though. she could have looked like Dad *LOL*

Throughout most of my life my main task has been to look out for Trace. She's so out of it, I'm not sure she even knows how to read but it doesn't matter. She's my sister and I love her to bits. It's not that she's stupid as such - she's a right little devil when it comes to things she wants. Like men and women for that matter. Trace is insatiable so I've made it my mission to make sure she always asks me first before she decides to fuck someone. Don't look at me that way - it's the best deal for everyone.

We went to this posh private school in Quebec. You know one of those where you're expected to wear a silly skirt and white blouse and what not. It was good though. I learned a lot of things and I managed to graduate at the top of my class. Yeah you might not think so but it's the truth. Trace on the other hand...Let's just say that Dad had to sell a lot of ketchup to make sure she passed.

Anyway I will confess to a few things here. This is like a blog really. I really like dinosaurs and I wanted to become a paleonotologist. I didn't but hey a girl can dream can't she? My favourite movie is Jurassic Park but I hide it in the dvd box of "Amelie". Whe we last had dinner with Mr Morgenstern I talked at lenght about it and Trace almost blew my cover saying something like "Yeah I know that one, it's about dinosaurs." Thank God that no one, not even Morty Morgenstern takes Trace seriously.

Mom and Dad died when me and Trace were 16. I've told her it was because there was a badger on the road but truth to tell it was because Mom gave head to dad and he suffered a massive coronary. I guess that was the way he wanted to go though. I'm not passing judgement or anything. Dad was a dirty old man but he never claimed to be anything else. I guess both me and Trace has got that from him. Well Mom was quite a devil between the sheets as well. Yeah I really have to tell you this it's hilarious. When we went through the stuff after the funeral *Which Tracey didn't attend on my insistence* we found a lot of her slutty outfits among them a French Maid's uniform which Tracey got for herself. She wears it on Mom's birthday claiming it makes her feel closer to her French (FRENCH CANADIAN) heritage. I haven't had the heart to tell her that Mom wore it to please Dad and because she was a slut.

So every now and then Trace wears the French Maid's costume and I have to pretend it's ok. No I sound really horrible. I do love Trace, perhaps more than a sister should but if you don't like it you can fuck of and die. It wasn't meant to happen but hey on our 18:th birithday we fooled around a bit and it has just progressed from that.

Well I leave it at that shall I...you'll read more later you dogs.

Love
Lacey Collins

 

[naughty_nympho]

Tracey Michelle Collins of the Collinses Ketchup Empire

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Part II​

I hope you all will not take Lace seriously. I mean, yes she knows a lot but she is just jealous that Chantal and I were close. Chantal was my hero. Lace was more like dad. Don't tell her I said that, though. She is so good to me, I shouldn't talk about her like that. Can I take it back? Still she shouldn't talk about Chantal like that. I told her we should get her a matching french maid outfit too but she just rolled her eyes at me. She always does it but then tells me I have a nice ass so it doesn't bother me that much.

So as I was saying we met Mr. Morty Morgenstern, Esquire. He is a real dignified sort of guy. He really took good care of us. The judge didn't want us to live by ourselves but he didn't know how smart Lace was. I guess Mr. Morgenstern told the judge about how Lace was really good in school so he let us live alone with the people that Mr. Morty Morgenstern hired, and he would come over a few times a week to check up on us.

Well, anyways, when we turned 18 years old things got kind of crazy. On our birthday Mr. Morgenstern brought us some bubbly to celebrate. Not bubble bath, but stuff to drink. I love taking bubble baths though. I have a pink rubber ducky I keep in my bath tub, it's a big one with spa jets and it has a gold faucet, it makes the bubbles really grow big. When Lace gives me my allowance I like to go to Bath and Body Works, lately I get the moonlit path fragrance because it is musky and stuff and makes me feel more sophisticated. I would buy the more expensive stuff but I am trying to save up for liposuction ASAP and botox in a few years. Plus it costs a lot to get my hair done. Lace doesn’t understand all these expenses I have. Mr. Morgenstern Esquire tried to teach me about budgeting and stuff but I just didn’t get him so he gave me a popsicle and patted me on the head. Grape flavored, of course. He is very sensitive and he remembers stuff about people.

So anyway, back to the good part, when me and Lace finally hooked up. Now I didn’t know a lot about the birds and the bees, other than what I saw on that one show on HBO, real sex or something, but Lace used to date boys. She never let me go out without her or Mr. Morgenstern’s supervision. She is older and wiser so, you know, it was ok with me. Since Lace wasn’t home to help me with my math (ummm, hellooo, that is what calculators are for, I have a little one with jewels on it that I carry around with me and there is one on my cell too) so I had to keep myself busy somehow. I used to go outside sometimes and tan or swim in the pool but our gardener, you know the one that brought me flowers (he didn’t bring Lace flowers) his name was Herman and sometimes he would, like, look at me all creepy and stuff. I told Trace and Mr. Morgenstern esquire about it and Lace said that it was because I had a nice butt so instead of my thong bikini that she bought me I should get another one. Well, helllloooo Lace but I can’t buy anything because you don’t take me anywhere and sometimes you don’t give me my allowance. So anyway, I stopped going outside, the best time to tan anyway is like during the day anyway but we had to be in school.

So as I was saying, I was totally bored. At first I would just sit and watch E! and the Style Network and do sit ups on the commercials cause I am a fatass but then I got lazy and watched Lifetime and got hooked on the Golden Girls. Rose was my favorite, she always had these funny stories and the other girls would make fun of her but like Blanche was a slut, Dorothy looked like a man, and the old lady made the audience people laugh but sometimes I didn’t get it. Rose was nice like me. Anyway, that is when I really started to get chubby. So one time when Lace took me shopping she let me get some Richard Simmons and Jane Fonda workout tapes. I did them every day. I still have them but they were for the VCR and we don’t have one of them anymore. Lace got something with letters with Ds and Vs in it, I don’t know, but the only thing I know how to do is turn it on and change the channels.

Finally I was going crazy getting fat and Lace wouldn’t let me get all those weight loss pills on TV so I finally had a serious talk with her. You know, face to face, woman to woman. I told her that she was always treating me like I was dumb and that I wanted to be able to go out and do stuff because if I keep staying home I would die. She is so nice and understanding, she said she was just trying to protect me from bad people out there, she said not all guys are nice like Mr. Morty Morgenstern, Esquire. Lace said I can go out with her and she will keep her eye on me. Then she kissed me on her lips like Chantal used to kiss my Dad. She tasted like a cherry popsicle or a lollipop. Maybe she had to go see Mr. Morgenstern on some business and he gave her one? Anyway, I was like wow. I got all fidgety after that.

Lace can you fill you in more. I get confused about all these things and off track. But Lace says it's ok because I have a nice butt. I'm so glad I have her.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *The Brains of the Collins Family*

Jeez Trace do you really have to use the hearts and stuff? And by now everyone knows it's about you. There's no need to spell it out. Yes you're not to bright babe but you got a great ass. *LOL*

The thing about my sister is that she doesn't know moderation. She's not fat by the way. 123 lbs isn't fat, but she has gotten into her pretty little head that she is as I'm 120. We're both 5'7 in case you wondered. Both Trace and I are natural blondes and blue-eyed. Nordic types Dad used to call it. Not French.

OK you do have a point that I don't allow you out on your own, especially not since I heard about that dirty gardener Hernan. Trace has never understood that guys find her irresistible. The same goes for yours truely but I at least have some standards. Let me inform you about those:

If you're a guy you have to be a Proper Man. I hate sensitive guys who want to talk about emotions. It's not like I'm going to marry you. Guys with small dicks needn't bother either. Hey what good is a small cock to me? As much as a periodic table of the elements to Trace I guess. That's not too hard to understand is it?

OK Trace had started to become all worked up about her weight and stuff like that. Hey I know the signs when I see them, having gone through the same stage myself. Hormones and what not. Wanting to fuck. The thing about my sister is that I wouldn't just let her date just any guy. She's my sister after all and it's my job to look out for her. Trace is going to go spare when I tell you this but she has always slept in my room. She says it's because I got a bigger bed but the real reason is that she's still of the monster under her bed. It's my fault really, I once got one of those inflatable crocodiles and hid it under her bed. Jeez I think she peed herself when she looked under the bed to stare at it. I on the other hand laughed myself silly at it. Well I got my come-uppence since Trace now refuse to sleep alone.

I have so many stories about how sweet and stupid Trace can be. She's too easy to fool. One time when I was in a really foul mood *A guy I was seeing had cheated on me and taken some of my best cd:s as well. I listen to Iron Maiden and other heavy metal but I don't advertise the fact. Mr Morgenstern thinks I'm really into classical music and usually gives me a new cd on each visit. A girl has to keep up her appearance doesn't she?* OK I walk down into the kitchen and find Trace moping about her weight and that I should let her buy pills and what not. No way sis! Anyway I was in a foul mood as I said so I went into the bathroom and peed in a bottle and then gave it to her saying it's a new weight-loss formula blah blah blah developed by a famous French scientist. Yeah you can guess for yourself what happend: Trace drank it down and made me promise to supply her with more. She even said that she could feel how she was just losing ounces right away. Jeez I didn't know if I was to laugh or cry but I haven't told her what it was she really drank that time.

*Well Trace has had her fair share of golden showers after that but that's an entirely different story*

OK about Tracey and her cherry. It was the same day as we turned 18. Mr Morgenstern had been around and brought a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne. Trace was prancing around in her French Maid's uniform and it was all I could do not to have poor Morty burst his pants seeing Trace doing her usual routine. I sometimes think Trace's a bit messed up in the head. Dad used to tell me that the doctor who delivered us dropped her. Twice. I used to laugh at that but it's a bit sad really. Well anyway I've promised to take care of her and I wouldn't let anyone else tell her she's stupid or be mean to her. I'd kick that person's ass and you'd better watch out. I did taekwondo.

Anyway after Morty left Trace was going on about me me being mean and withholding her allowance and not letting her go out on the town alone and what not. Then she looked sad and said that she would never find a nice man because she's fat. I felt really sorry for her and I really don't know why I kissed her but I did anyway. Hey looking back at it it was probably the best. If anyone would teach Trace about sex and stuff it should be me. Mom and Dad left a lot of sex-toys so I figured there had to be a strap-on or something. Trace looked really surprised when I put it on so I had to tell her it was a fake one but that I would use it on her to make her a proper woman, just like Mom.

Aww you should have been there. Little Trace was all teary eyed and yapped away in French *or what she thinks is French. She thinks Mom was the heiress to a chateau back in France but in reality Mom was poor white FRENCH CANADIAN trash*. I had to tell Trace about the mechanics, giving examples like licking her pussy and squeezing her titties. You may not think so but Trace was the first girl I've ever been with. I have to admit that it was really hot doing my little sister like this. I told her that we could pretend to be Mom and Dad and she could be Chantal. *For some reason she insists using Mom's name* and I swear the little thing came there and then.

Yeah and I gave her the first good pounding with a big cock in her life. I swear that I got her hooked then and there. Trace is such a slut and as I've told you a hundred times, not too sharp in the old brainbox. I made her promise never ever to play with a boy if I haven't told her she could. We went at it all night and it turned out that Trace is really good at licking pussy and giving rimjobs as well. It's really too convenient, having a sister like her. A live-in sex slave one could say. But Trace is not a slave you pervs. She's my sister and I love her to bits.

Lacey Collins over and out.

 

[magbeam]

From the law offices of
S. Mortimer Morgenstern, Esq.

So what's this now? The Collins girls? Client confidentiality and all that mishigas, but I'm sure those little yentas won't mind if I filled you in on a bit. I'm the Collins' family attorney, have been since Bobby took over the company from his old man. Never met Robert, probably for the best, if everything Bobby said about him was right a macher like him woulda neva been meshuggah enough to hire me, ya know? Not that I'm a gonif or anything like that, I'm a legitimate lawyer, got myself a nice business, just that he was a bit too much a proper balebatim, ya know?

Anyways, I was hired by Bobby after his old man passed on and he took over the company. The girls were about ten years old then. Already you could tell they were shayna. Took after their momma. Chantal the Quebecois stripper. The knobs on that one, lemme tell ya. Not much in the head, though. A bit furblungit. More than a bit. Tracey takes after her. Lacey would like to say she took after Bobby but she's smarter than that schmuck ever was. Still a bit of a schnook, though. Thankfully, else I'd never have gotting this far. Sure, it was good enough working for the company under Bobby, but since he's gone, let's say while the cat's away the mice will play.

Don't you look at me with those eyes! It's no big averah! I've got to make a living, and they're not poor. I got two sons in college and my schlimazel brother to take care of. Maybe I am a bit of a shmendrek, so what? I'm a lawyer, piss off if you think I should be St. Michael or whatever angel protects small children and lost puppies. Besides, I don't treat them badly, and I only skim bobkelekh off every now and then. I see their finances; they can afford it. Especially since I doubt they'll need higher education. And if they ever run low, well, a pretty face will never go poor, if you know what I mean.

And Tracey could do it. Lemme tell you! I once walked in on her doin' a little poledance, better than anything I ever seen down at the Kittycat Klub. Titties hangin out and everything, milking that pole fer all it was worth. To think her mother taught her that! It makes me weak in the knees imagining them doin that together. And she loves to prance around in her French maid outfit whenever I drop by. It's no bobbe! Like a kholem every time, I say.

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. So after that tsuris with Bobby getting blown to his dreams and taking Chantal with him, I managed to get appointed their legal guardian. Oh, the temptations that put me through, watching their little bodies...Well, some things a shver shouldn't think about his kids, neh? of course, it's not like we were actually related, or under the age of consent, but still, you gotta take things easy, right? Besides, if Miriam ever found out, I'd need one hell of a diamond necklace to calm her down, and then I'd really have to skim the Collins funds.

So I visit the girls every so often, bring them tchatzkah, dine them, listen to Lacey try to sound cultured and Tracey pretend that she's a 'ballerina' like her mother. I try to indulge them. Bring Lacey CDs of classic music I know she doesn't care about and Tracey 'ballet' (read: stripper) instuctional videos (I know she has problems with DVDs). And lollipops, of course. Cherry for Lacey, grape for Tracey. They love them. I love to watch them. Them suck those hard staffs down their sweet little punims. Ah... The hardest is when Lacey is sucking down a lolli next to me as Tracey is working her pole.

Of course, I only am able to visit them every so often, a few times a week - I have a job, you know - but it's worth it. Sometimes their little cousin, this nebekh named Colin, is there, and I don't stay often then. His face looks like Mars, and the eyes he gives the girls...even I feel sorry for the schlub. But he's not there often. Thankfully for my sanity and enjoyment.

Of course, they didn't stay young forever, and their 18th birthday came soon enough. Since they were so good, and I was so nice, I decided to give them both a nice present. Not what you're thinking, of course. Well, maybe only a bit. It...what, Jacob? You putz!

Ah, well, duty calls, and I will have to continue this some other time.

 

[naughty_nympho]

Trace The Ketchup Heiress, Just Like Paris!!!

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Part III​

Ok I am a little upset here about what Lacey said about Chantal. It hurts me deep down inside to hear her talk that way about her mother who brought her up right and taught her how to do boob enhancing exercises. I hope Chantal can’t hear her in heaven. It would make her sad. I try to make her happy by sometimes doing my ballet tapes with the pole we have in our parent’s old bedroom. I hope she can see me but can’t hear Lace.

So on our birthday we see Mr Morgenstern who brings us presents. Since it is a special day I wore Chantal’s French maid costume. I didn’t think she would mind and would be honored seeing it was our birthday and all. My transition into adulthood as Lace called it. But we live in Malibu and I don’t think we have a hood here. I haven’t seen it. Oh, but there was that movie “Malibu’s Most Wanted” or something. Maybe we do have a hood? You know how in that one part the little mouse comes and talks to that guy B-rad? The mouse has a woman! I didn’t know they dated and stuff and talked. I saw it in Cinderella the movie but it was a cartoon and Lace said it was all fake.

Anyway, Mr. Morgenstern, Esquire brought us some presents; grape and cherry popsicles and lollipops and Don Perignom or something and then when Lace wasn’t looking he gave me some blue M&Ms. He had to do it on the down low because Lace would have been jealous. So anyway Morty left, Mr. Morgenstern, I mean. Lace says since he is older we should call him by his Proper Name. I decided then and there that we needed to have a talk. I was legal now, Mr. Morgenstern said, so I knew I had some kind of rights or whatever. Sometimes she kept my allowance and when we went anywhere she made me wear white tights and high heels and I couldn’t walk good in them.

I was a person too and plus it had been 3 weeks since I got my hair highlighted and I had roots. I totally needed my allowance. Lace was really nice about, she kissed me on the lips later and she tasted like cherry popsicles. It felt good. I had seen Chantal and Dad do it and in the movies. She put her tongue in my mouth and that was a little weird at first but I liked it.

Lace said I could be Chantal and she would be Dad. She is so nice letting me be the girl and her the boy. She started to lick my pussy (no, I don’t have a cat, I’m allergic) and touch my boobies. It felt really good and as she licked me I got all trembling and shivery like I was exploding. Lace said I came. I asked her where I came from. She just laughed.

Then she told me I had to do the same thing to her and of course I would because she would do anything for me, even my homework and stuff so I wouldn’t get kicked out of school. I wouldn’t have minded but Lace said I had to think about my future. I did though. People would always need ketchup and mayo and pickles and stuff. I was a member of the Collinses and could always get a job with them. She tasted sweet. Not like candy or fruit sweet but different. Her pussy had no hair on it and she had wet stuff on it. I licked her and then she started to shake and put her hands in my hair and I kept licking her. Then she told me to lick her butt so I did that too.

I finally found something I liked to do! I was so excited. Anyway Lacey went into our parents’ old room. I thought she was going to dress up like Dad but she came out with this purple pointy thing on. She said she was going to make me a proper woman. That was ok because then people would call me Miss Collins. She put the purple pointy thing inside of me, it was kind of attached to her though. It hurt a lot at first but then she called me Chantal and I felt lots better. She moved it in and out. It stretched me a little but Lace said that it only hurts for a little while. She says Chantal and Dad did this all the time.

I did the exploding thing again. It is amazing. I wanted to do it all the time. We would have to but we had some stuff happen. But the phone rang and it was for Lace. We had a family emergency. I told her to call 911 but she wouldn’t listen. She sat me down a little later and explained some stuff to me. The bubbly made it hard for me to think but I remember her talking about our cousin Colin. He would be coming to live with us for the summer. Lace said it was really important that I be on my best behavior.

Now Lace thinks I’m dumb but I’m not. I found out why Colin had to come and live with us. I feel so sorry for him. He is a Collins, Colin Collins, his name is easy to spell, you just take off the L and S. But he is like way smart, like his Dad. His dad is a brain sturgeon. He like drills holes in people’s heads Lace told me once. Then she said she always wondered why Dad hadn’t had him take a look at me. But anyway, Herman, the gardener who always gave me flowers, told me why our cuz was coming to visit. I had to touch his pants with my feet sometimes, but I think that was not so bad and a small price to pay for the information that Lacey wouldn’t tell me about.

So anyway I was touching Herman with my feet and he tells me that Colin’s stepmom (ok here is where it gets complicated, Colin’s biological mom was the first wife then there two more; I never could keep them straight so Lace just told me to count them, #1, #2, #3. So brain sturgeon leaves #1 for #2 and #2 for #3. Lace always helps me learn things.) left him for another woman that she met on the beach. Herman says that Colin’s dad and #3 used to go to the beach with no clothes on where nobody else had clothes on either. And #3 met this woman and they fell in love and stuff.

Even though he was creepy sometimes, Herman made sure I understood. Sometimes he even got confused when I would put my feet up by his belt and stuff. So anyway, Herman tells me that Colin’s dad is lonesome and that he has to go find #4. I told Herman that we got some mail for the single person at 42069 Beachfront Dr (that is our house, Lace will be pissed I told you that) and that we could help Colin’s dad and send that to him. Herman says that Colin’s dad wants a very special girl cuz he is super smart (brain sturgeon) so he is getting on his yacht, the Sara Bellum (I don’t know who Sara is, maybe one of his wives?) and is going to travel the world to find her. I’m glad that Lace told me the world is round because if not I would worry about Colin’s dad falling off the edge.

So now I felt really bad for Colin. Me and Lace used to call him Crater Face but I didn’t know what it means. I asked her and she said it was because he had zits all over his face. So then I asked Lace why he didn’t use ProActiv Solution (that is what Jessica Simpson uses and she is smart and stuff so she should know) and she said guys didn’t use stuff like that. I told her there were guys on the commercial on TV and she told me that the E! True Hollywood Story of Paula Abdul was on so I went to watch it but she lied and then I forgot what we had been talking about.

Ok, so until Colin’s dad found #4 we would take care of him. Lace would take care of me and I would take care of him. It would be lots of fun.

I gotta go now because Lace says Colin is here and I haven't seen him since Christmas and I want to tell him that I am here for him. But I do want to say before I go that sometimes Lacey fibs about stuff or tells little white lies.

#1. I do know French. Chantal taught me French. Lace is the one that didn’t pay attention so of course she didn’t know what I was talking about.

#2. I think it was really mean of Lacey to do that thing with me. I didn’t know I was drinking her pee. I thought it was warm so it was burning calories.

#3. Lacey is not as hoity-toity as she thinks she is.

#4. Ok, at first I did not believe Lace when she told me that there crocodiles under my bed till I saw one. Chantal told me she was just messing with me. But then I was watching COPS and there was a crocodile or alligator in this guy’s garage! I think it was in Florida and that is by here so there could be one here, too.

#6. Lace, me and Herman likes the hearts, ok?

 

[Biggus_Dickus]

Colin Collins

Colin hung out. This isn't to say he was goofing off, though he was. His dad and stepmom lived in Vancouver and were nudists on the beach. He didn't wear much in the way of clothes. He didn't like to. He was tanned all over, but you wouldn't look at him twice, except maybe, if you were bored and wanted to count the minutes with the pimples on his face. No, when I say that Colin hung out, I mean he hung out. He had a thick motherfucker of a penis, even when it was flaccid. But it wasn't the mother (or the two stepmothers) he wanted to fuck. It was the Collins cousins, the rich bitches in the family, the ketchup heiresses, those hoes.

It was just past noon and Colin had his ass planted in the sofa in the living room. He was flipping the channels, not really finding anything to watch though there were a billion stations on the TV in SoCal unlike back home in Canada, where they didn't get cable, not in the city, and certainly not at the beach. At least on the beach there were girls to look at. Some of them were uggh-lee. Others he gawked at. He liked that his cock was bigger than anyone his age, bigger than the equipment older folks had. He had seen lots and lots of cocks and pussies in his time, but never cocks in pussies, not up close, not his anyway. He wanted that. He settled on the porn station. The channel was blocked, and he didn't know the access code. All he could see was static and the wavy lines, but if he squinted and looked at the right angle, he could figure out what was going on. The sex was hot if you knew where to find it. Yeah, that mouth would feel damn good on his prick right about now.

He had a pair of swimming trunks on and no shirt. He'd cool off in the pool in the afternoon. He wanted to stretch his muscles, do some laps, work out a bit. He was scrawny. He would have to see about getting himself some BALCO 'roids if the exercise didn't do the trick. He wanted to be the shit when he got home, the dude all the girls drooled over. Mmm, drool. It must be incredible what that drool would feel like on a prick. The slut was slobbering all over that guy's shaft. (It was hard to tell, but he thought the girl was Jenna. The tats helped him guess. The tits, also.) Her mouth was sliding down the sides. Her tongue rolled on the top like on an ice-cream cone from the old drive-in. He liked to see the Collins sisters with their popsicles and lollipop suckers. If he could figure out where they were stashed, he'd unwrap each one and give it a kiss and wrap it up again. Maybe he'd run his dick over them, too.

Under the seat cushion, he had hidden the underwear he'd stolen from the clothes hamper. He didn't know which one of the sisters it belonged to. Tracey said she was fatter so her sizes were bigger, but honestly the two of them looked just the same to him. It was only when they talked that he knew for sure. One of 'em was dumb as a blow-up doll. The other was little miss stuck up and bossy. They could be that way cause they were rich.

It was a shame that the big flatscreen TV was wasted watching fuzzy porn. Static or no static, it was still better than that softcore shit on Cinemax, and it was too early in the day for him to find it on, even if he did get that desperate. He would have to try to all the number combinations to get the access code. Or bribe it from the dumb bitch with popsicles or with some other shit. If only he could get one of the twins to suck his cock like Jenna was sucking that dude's. He bet two California girls like them knew exactly how to suck cock. "I wonder if they could take all of me," Colin mused out loud as he pulled a pillow onto his lap and started rubbing the tent in his swimming trunks.

"Oh, yeah, bitch, just like that. Suck him. Suck me."

Oh, wow! Colin's eyes bugged out when the guy exploded over Jenna's face. He wanted to do the same thing. He had a little (well, a big) firebreathing dragon in his pants. Too bad he couldn't take his clothes off like he did at home and jerk off. Dad warned him that other people were different, that the California Collins weren't nudists, that he would have to be accommodating to his hosts. He wanted to be real accommodating to his hosts, but some other way.

There were footsteps upstairs. He adjusted his cock and flipped the channel to ESPN where the baseball game was just starting. He wanted to look busy, so he grabbed for a magazine. There were little post-it notes on some of the pages. Whoever it was (the dumb one, probably) had highlighted the sex tips. He wanted someone to get into the mama bear position on his pelvis. He wanted to be strong enough to have a girl hanging off his shoulders and sucking him like that. He liked the names in bold face. They were foreign. The French ones were underlined. Tête-bêche. La feuille de rose. Yes, he wanted that. He wanted Lacey and Tracey, Tracey and Lacey, either order, both orders, both at the same time. Yeah, both at the same time, him doing pushups, his cock in Tracey's pussy, then in Lacey's cunt while the two of them made out. They could kiss the muscles in his chest and biceps, too, if only they were bigger.

So anyway, young Colin Collins was flipping through Cosmo, reading the how to please your man section, and dreaming of incestual threesomes when the girls raced downstairs. Tracey grabbed the magazine that Colin was looking at, because she hadn't finished cutting out the pictures she wanted, she said. Lacey sat down on the big easy chair. She plopped her feet on the coffee table, pointed at him and laughed.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *Brains of the Collins Family*

OK Trace everyone knows you love the hearts. Don't put them on the blog, it wastes precious space.

Where was I? Yes our cousin and Morty Morgenstern. Two guys - different age - same affliction. Both wants to get into Trace's pants. Well it's not gonna happen. I say who gets to fuck my sister and it's not going to be Craterface Colin. On the other hand I do think that Morty could be good for her. See what guys are really like.

Yes Trace did warm really fast to the whole sex thing. She squirmed like a proper little slut when I used the strap-on on her. It felt good, almost better than having her eat my pussy and ass. I really like getting a rimjob and Trace is the champ. God her tongue could earn us a fortune I just have to make sure she doesn't use it for talking. Hey I don't want you guys to laugh OK. Trace might not be smart but she's got her heart in the right place and I swear I will kick your sorry fat asses if you poke fun at her.

It's strange isn't it. Me and Trace are identical twins but we don't share that much apart from being very horny. I suppose it's like the combined result of having a dirty old man for a dad and a slutty stripper for a mom. Yes I know Trace still thinks mom was French and it doesn't matter how many times I tell her that isn't the case. Last night I caught Trace singing the French National Antheme. Need I say it sounded really really bad btw? Anyway I asked her why and she started saying something about it being our heritage and roots. God I tried to tell her a million times that our heritage is American through and through with an unfortunate influx of Canadian. I got her a tape of "Oh Canada" but Trace doesn't understand why? She goes like "Why do I have to sing this. I'm French Lacey. It's true cuz Mom was like a duchess from France and a ballerina as well."

It's times like that when I have to kiss her and squeeze her ass and tell her she's so pretty and that she shouldn't spoil it by speaking. Trace sometimes get mad at me but more often than not she knows that I'm right and does what I tell her to. You want to know how Trace lost her ass-cherry? Yeah I thought so. It was the morning after I took her proper cherry. I thought that if she wants to be like Mom then she has to do the stuff Mom and Dad did. I already told her how to give a proper rimjob. Mom was really good at that but Trace needed to learn how to take it up the ass as well.

I got Trace to lick me good when I woke up and the little darling just complied. It's a good thing about Tracey that she usually does what she's told. I've been very clear on that issue, she has to do what I tell her to. Otherwise she'll just end up in trouble and probably go to jail. Tracey is really terrified of the prospect of going ot jail, she used to watch an old Aussie show about women in prison. After that it's been a right walk in the park getting her to do what she's told to.

So anyway after she got me off a few times I thought that I'd pop her asscherry as well. God I know I sound like a sleazy guy but you have to keep in mind that I got Trace to go along with the whole sceme telling her that I'd be like Daddy. I can tell you that she got an easier ride than me. Losing my butt-cherry wasn't nice I'll tell you that. Josh was not very careful and the backseat of a Camaro doesn't do it for me anyway. I hurt like hell but I learned one thing. Never get involved with younger guys.

OK so I got Trace go get the baby-oil and then I rubbed it all over her butt. I told her she's got a really nice ass and everything and said it was ok for her to finger herself. She's so sweet when she's aroused. After a while I pushed my fingers inside her and although she didn't like it I told her that it was the way a proper woman did the sex thing. Mom sure did it I found a huge collection of butt-plugs and what not in their bedroom. Putting on the strap-on and then fucking Trace. Hey that was fun. She moaned a bit about it hurting her but in the end she got off as well. She's such an anal-hoe my sis.

What more...yeah Morty Morgenstern. I'm planning on letting him have a taste of Tracey. Purely educational that is and give me a bit of leverage if he keeps making trouble. Not that he does, not on a major scale but he's still a bit of a wet blanket sometimes. My main trouble is with Hernan. Tracey is a bit sweet on the dirty sod and I think he might trick her into doing something she might regret. I got to fire him or have Morty do it for me.

Yes and now we have our stupid cousin Colin staying with us. Jeez it means that I have two babies to look out for. I don't know what I've done to deserve that.

OK Trace
1) Mom was FRENCH CANADIAN how many times do I need to tell you that?

2) Yeah it was a bit mean giving you pee to drink but hey you grown to like it haven't you

3) You don't speak French Trace. You like to think you do but you don't

4) There are not crocs in Cali babe

5) Hernan is getting fired just so you know

6) You're to stay away from boys.

 

[naughty_nympho]

Lace I got rid of the hearts are you happy now?

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Part IIII​

Rules, rules, rules. First at school, now at home. It is pretty sad that at my own house I don’t know what is going on. If Herman could explain it to me, of course brainiac Lace could and in less the time? But no. Secrets and more secrets. Even Herman knew. It hurts me sometimes. But when she gives me kisses and tells me how cute I am I forgive her. I know she is just looking out for me. You see, I am the Mary and she is the Rhoda. I heard that in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. I think Michelle is French because that is my middle name.

I am really sad about Herman. Yeah he was creepy but we got to be friends. He was misunderstood, too. He was really sensitive. See, he knew I was trying to lose weight and no matter how diligent I was with taking the stuff Lace got for me I was not seeing results. So Herman let me on about this little secret. Not very many people know about this so don’t tell anyone. He gave me some of this white powder that you use a straw and snort it up your nose. Herman said it speeds up your meta bolism and makes you less fat. Burns calories and makes you not be hungry all the time. It worked, I ate less popsicles and stuff.

Anyway, one morning I did my treatment (Herman says you do it an hour before meals like the weight loss pills) and Lace walked in wanting to play before Colin got up because me and him would hang out. Him and Herman and Lace were my bestest friends ever. She looks at me like I’m crazy and asks me what am I doing. She doesn’t know about this stuff, obviously. So I tell her what Herman told me and how it is like a top secret formula that he got it special for me to help me lose weight, specifically on my bubble butt.

Right there and then Lace called Mr. Morgenstern Esquire to take care of Herman. I didn’t get to say goodbye. I think that was really mean of her. After all the stuff he did to help me she just gets rid of him like he was trash or something. He is a real person with real feelings just like me. Well, anyway, between Colin and all of the friends that Lace had I forgot about Herman pretty quick. I feel bad about it now that we lost touch but then again Lace wouldn’t let me be with boys unless she said so. See rule #6 on her list for me “You're to stay away from boys.” Herman, if you can read this, I’m sorry. I still owe you some money from the powder stuff, you can talk to Lace or Mr. Morgenstern, Esquire to get your money as I hardly get any allowance.

So without Herman I realized I needed to find a friend. I didn’t know Colin very well, he would always watch TV downstairs. I don’t think he takes after his dad because he watches ESPN and never any smart people shows like CSI. I wanted to be his friend and stuff but Lace kept on reminding me that I am not supposed to hang around with boys. I knew he wanted to be my friend too because he was always reading my Cosmo and Glamour magazines so we would have stuff to talk about. I realized I must do something to let me and him be friends.

When Lace went somewhere I pulled Colin aside and I told him the deal. You see I had this idea. I was watching Mrs. Doubtfire on HBO and it just came to me. I could dress up Colin as a girl and Lace would see that he wasn’t a guy and he would let us hang out and have a sleepover or something. Only he wouldn’t be like an old lady or whatever, he would be like a more manly version of me and Lace. Colin looked at me like I was a moron but he agreed once I promised I would let him take a picture of my chest. Anyway, Colin had a car so he drove us to the mall. I couldn’t drive, Lace wouldn’t let me. But she did let me sit in the back and when the windows clouded up she used to let me draw pictures on them with my fingers.

So anyway we went to the mall. He had his dad’s credit card (the brain sturgeon) so we went on a shopping spree kinda like on that show Supermarket Sweep. Ok, so like we got him a facial and some acme treatment stuff so Lace wouldn’t call him Colin Craterface anymore. We went to Victoria’s Secret and bought me and him these cute matching pajamas for our sleepover. Colin (Colleen) was really excited about the sleepover. We were gonna get Lace some pajamas too but she probably wouldn’t go to the sleepover with us.

I took my cousin all over the mall, we got manicures and pedicures together, and I picked out some makeup from Sephora (they have like all the makeup on earth in one store) and then some clothes from different stores. I felt like I was one of the queer guys on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy; like I was Carson. He has blond hair, too.

Anyway, once we got home Lace was upset because she was going to have Mr. Morgenstern Esquire over and I wasn’t there. She explained to me that it was really important that I paid attention and realized that Morty was a VIP. She made me go upstairs to her room and wait for her. Colin wanted to go too because we were like sisters but Lace said no and when she came upstairs she locked the door behind us. Once we were in her room Lace said that she was just pretending she was mad because she wanted to fool Colin (Colleen) and spend some quality sister time with me. She let me lick her pussy and ass and her skin tastes like vanilla and honey. I am so glad she loves me and lets me do this to her.

Well, I have to go for now, Colin (Colleen) is telling me that Laguna Beach is on. But before I go Lace answer me this...

#1. What is a blog?

#2. Chantal (Mom to you) was French. She told me all about it and showed me all her old costumes from when she was a ballerina. And she taught me French words. You’re just jealous. And why did you buy me Oh Canda song?

#3. There may not be crocodiles in Cali. Of course not, they are all hiding under my bed!

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *Brains of the Collins Family*

Yeah Trace, it's much better without the hearts. It's a good thing that you ask me questions when there's something you don't understand babe. I know somethings are hard for you to understand sometimes. OK here's the answers;

#1 A blog is like an internet diary Trace. Remember that you used to have a diary but you drew pretty pictures in yours instead of writing.

#2 Mom (Chantal to you for some reason) was FRENCH CANADIAN. She had never been outside of Quebec before she married Dad.

#3 It was not a real crocodile under your bed. Anyway you always sleep in my bed these days so even if there were crocs under yours they would die of starvation. *Since you're never in it Trace*

OK so we had Colin stay with us. God he's so boring and I don't think that he has a single interest besides watching TV and jacking off. That's why I was a bit angry with Trace that she had gone to the mall with him unchaperoned. I guess I should hire someone to keep an eye on Trace whenever I'm not around but then it's kind of tricky getting someone you trust. Look at Hernan for instance. That asshole had Trace jack him off with her feet but worse still is that he supplied her with coke. Good thing Morty Morgenstern got him shipped back to Mexico or whatever. Trace was a bit pissed of but I told her that he was no good for her at all. But I have to confess that I feel a bit sorry for her. She doesn't have many friends really. Perhaps I should try and hire a governess for her? That would be good but knowing the effect Trace has on people, they'd probably end up in bed anyway. No I'll do it myself like I've always done.

Yes a bit about me for a change. I find that I always talk about Tracey, but then again I love her so much and I like looking out for her even if she can do the most stupid things at times. I had asked Morty to come by to discuss business, Trace's allowance and things like that. I had a plan you see, I'd get Morty to argue the case that I should be made Chairwoman of Collin's Ketchup Inc. After all there's always been a Collins heading our company and knowing that I'm the brains of the family it ought to be me, especially since I'm really interested in economics and marketing. That's where Trace comes into the picture. I had the idea that Tracey should be the new model/spokesperson for Collins' Ketchup. You all know she's pretty enough and if I work really hard with her she could learn to say a few simple lines about just how good our ketchup is.

There were two other ideas as well, first I'm was not really satisfied with the size of my breasts and I thought that an augumentation would be a really good idea. And to be fair on Trace she should have one as well. I figured that with a new rack on her and posing in bikini or her French Maid's outfit the sales of Collins' Ketchup would skyrocket. Besides I think Trace would really like to have bigger tits, that would make her look more like Mom.

I told you about my secret dream as well? Not becoming an actress, everyone knows that but to become a paleontologist. That's a dinosaur scientist Trace. I had done some research on the internet and found a number of articles by a guy called Henry "Montana" Smith. He's like a proper action-scientist. I saw a documentary on Discovery Channel where he presented a show about Velociraptors. He is really handsome and a Proper Man. Not a snivelling fuck-wit like our cousin Colin "Colleen" as Trace calls him these days. Yes I know about the scheme that my darling sister has concocted. Dress him up as a girl since she's not allowed to play with boys. I'll turn a blind eye for now but if it goes out of hand he's so out of here.

Speaking about out of line, I guess that Trace is due for a spanking right about now. Seeing as she snuck out without telling me and especially now that we're waiting for Morty Morgenstern. I asked him if he could bring some more bubbly. I really like champagne and so does Trace but I have to make sure that she never has more than one glass. Oh I have to tell you this as well. Trace might not be smart but she is really good at drawing so I got her some watercolours and a sketchbook. I hope she likes it. I'm planning on letting her do some kroki *of me of course*

Yes spankings. I have taken to give Trace one *or two or five* a day. I know Dad used to spank Mom quite often. He was such a dog our dad. Trace doesn't always think she deserves one but since I always go down on her afterwards she is usually ok with it. I got her to shave her pussy the other day. She shouldn't have a lot of yucky hairs. I hate to eat pussy when there's hairs sticking to my tongue or even worse, between my teeth. Gross!

Jeez I just keep telling you about Trace, although it's one of my favourite subjects. Anyway Dr. Henry "Montana" Smith, the paleontologist. I'll ask Morty Morgenstern if he can get me in touch with him. It would be great to get some private tutoring about dinos and stuff. And maybe more, as I said he's really handsome and he seems to be a Proper Man. I like it a bit rough and ready. I get enough emo-talk from Trace, I don't need that with a guy. I'm sure Montana Smith will be just as good in bed as he is finding new dinosaurs.

OK I'll have Trace get ready for Morty Morgenstern's visit *after her spanking* I'll tell you guys more later.

Hey Trace a few things:

#1 If you behave you're getting a credit-card of your own

#2 When will you get that we're not French. Not you nor I nor Mom

#3 You have to be on your best behaviour when Morty comes by

#4 And you're not fat. If you continue to go on about that then you're back to the original French medicine for obesity is that understood.

Love you all
Lacey Collins CEO

 

[naughty_nympho]

Miss Tracey Michelle Collinses Internet Diary (blog Lacey says)

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Part IIIII​

Ok, first some stuff for you Lace before I forget.

3. Lace you are so mean. Starvation is a pretty bad way to die; I tried that for a few days. Why couldn’t we have kept the crocodiles as pets like with rhinestone collars and stuff? They are like little dinosaurs and everybody knows how much you love them.

1. Ok, like about this internet diary. Why can’t I draw pictures on this like in my other diary? I am an ARTIST Lace, remember? Oh and thanks for ART supplies by the way. I am going to be like the next Walt Disney and be famous.

2. Lace I get sick of telling you that CHANTAL is not from French Canada.

And I wanted to tell you that Colin (Colleen) and me have been really good so when are we going to go to Hallmark and get my credit card?

I am really excited to talk about my slumber party with Colin (Colleen.) Well, I was excited. But Lace said ixnay on the leepoversay. Lace is so smart. She knows Latin! Ok, Colin (Colleen) was disappointed of course. He had a lot of magazines for us to look at and he was really looking forward to wearing the matching pajamas we got.

But Colin (Colleen) and I fooled her a little. Well for a little bit. Lace met this guy who was really into dinosaurs like she was. I guess Mr. Morgenstern Esquire fixed them up. Lace had lots of friends but I think she wanted to meet some more smart people and talk about culture and science and stuff because she did really good in school. Ok, so anyway that night I found out that there was a Golden Girls marathon on so I asked Lace if I could skip dinner with this dinosaur guy and watch the marathon instead. The Golden Girls was just the cake on the icing, I really didn’t want to sit and talk about dinosaurs with Lace and the guy. She can be really boring sometimes.

So I am sitting there in Lace’s bedroom watching the TV and I heard a noise outside the window!! Ok, so I found my phone in case I needed to call 911 and I got some scissors that Lace cuts her hair with sometimes and I went to the window. It was Colin (Colleen.) I figured he was really bummed that Lace wouldn’t let us have our sleepover so he climbed up to Lace’s room like Rapunzel except my hair isn’t that long. I asked him if he wanted to watch the Golden Girls with me and if he wanted to change into her pajamas. So we both changed into them. Colin (Colleen) was kinda shy so he kept on his panties. Anyways we were watching TV and eating blue M&Ms when I hear Lace at the door.

I didn’t know what to do so I told Colin (Colleen) to hide under the bed and the M&Ms too and I would figure something out. Well of course the dinosaur man didn’t come upstairs with Lace because she is a good girl and a business woman so she doesn’t sleep with just anyone, she has to make sure he is a Proper Man. Well anyway she wanted me to play with her so we started playing, she made me lick her butt and stuff but I like that and her pussy too. I forgot about Colin (Colleen) until I hear a moan coming from under the bed. Then I knew me and him were in for a spanking.

Please Lace go easy on us, we just wanted to be together because we are like best friends for life and stuff and he didn’t want to embarrass you by watching Lifetime downstairs and looking at girly magazines when the smart dinosaur man was over. It was like to make you happy and stuff because you have done so much for us.

A few things I am confused about you told me to always tell you when I am confused and you can unconfuse me. Ok first of all what is kroki that you want me to do with you? Is that like when you sing along to music? Is that why you wanted me to learn “Oh Canda?”

Ok second what is emo-talk. Ok and why is your new bf named after a country?

Third thing my stuff is itching now that you made me shave it. And it is coming in picky like when dad didn’t shave for awhile. What can I do about it. Am I turning into a boy?

OK Lace I am totally sure that your weight loss medicine stuff is not from France because it doesn’t work on me and I am French.

Ok bye for now I need to go get my spanking from Lace with the paddle.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *The Brains of the Collins Family and CEO of Collins' Ketchum Inc*

I love you Trace but sometimes you do really really stupid things. That's why I have to give you rules OK. Not because I don't want you to have fun but because you just get it wrong and end up in trouble. I know it's not your fault but well you have to understand that I get mad...

OK to start with your questions:

#1 Crocodiles: There never was a crocodile under your bed. I just put an inflatable one there to scare you.

#2 Emo-talk: Emotional yadda-yadda Trace. Stuff about feelings you know. I don't like that in a guy.

#3 You're not turning into a boy Trace. And you have to learn a few tricks about proper women's business. I'll tell you later.

#4 Dr Henry "Montana" Smith is called Montana because there's a lot of dinosaur fossils in Montana. He's not my boyfriend but perhaps he will be. You must be on your best behaviour when you meet him.

#5 Kroki is when you sketch naked women in your new sketchbook. Karaoke is when you sing along. OK babe?

#6 Trace for the last time. They speak French in Canada. Mom was FRENCH CANADIAN. That means she's a Canadian who speaks French and smokes alll the time. If you're anything else than American *USA USA USA -Yay* you're Canadian. Not French. That's why I got you the tape. You got to learn the songs of Canada if you're to embrace your cultural heritage.

OK think you got all that babe? Guess I should tell you about what happened when I got Morty Morgenstern to make me CEO and Trace spokesperson for Collins' Ketchup Inc. Or perhaps I just let Morty tell you the story himself. Yes then I can focus on the interesting stuff, like Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith.

I got Morty to get hold of him and invite him to have a nice teté a teté (are you happy now Trace that I use French words) with Miss Lacey Colllins. He didn't seem to keen at first but since I know that he's got fired from the university (Totally unfair and only because he discovered a new dinosaur in China and the Chinese went all ballistic and accused him of stealing their fossils. There wasn't a China then so the fossils belong to whoever finds them.). Anyway Morty told Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith that Collins' Ketchup Inc might be interested in in sponsoring his research and perhaps even setting up an institute of their own. That got Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith to jump to the invitation.

God I was so nervous and I guess I was a bit mean on Trace. I wanted this to be perfect you know and she and Colin (Colleen) just kept pestering me. I really didn't want my stupid cousin to attend the dinner so I sent him to the tool-shed. Hey don't look at me like that, it was not as though you'd like to have dinner with crater-face Colin. He's really yucky and a perv. Not a sophisticated person like me. I'm have refined tastes, everyone else is a perv. That's the good thing about being rich. I can never be mad only eccentric. I like that word. Sounds sophisticated doesn't it?

So anyway I had a long soak in the big tub and used the olive peeling and bath oils and fixed my hair and did my make-up and everything. I was going to wear the D&G dress and the nice Prada slippers and Mom's diamonds. Dad really spoilt her, I guess that took quite a lot of poledancing and cock-sucking on her part. I still couldn't help but feeling all jittery so I had Trace to go down on me before Dr. Henry 'Montana' Smith arrived. She was really disappointed that the *sleepover* with Colin (Colleen) was cancelled and didn't feel like having dinner with the dinosaur man. Good thing there was one of her favourite shows on that night. Everyone's happy. I get a night just to myself *and to Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith* and Trace could watch her shows and eating blue M&M:s *Yes I know all about them but it's OK Trace I won't take them from you*

OK with Trace tucked away and Rosa *they lady who does the cooking around the house* having whipped up a wonderful dinner all I could do was to sit around and wait.

*Actually I'll save the details of what happend between me and Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith for later let me just say that he's indeed a Proper Man*

Anyway when Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith had left I had to go and check on Trace. She was watching TV as usual and still feeling frisky I had her kneel and put her little tongue to good use. She's really good at licking me out, she is the only person who can make me cum continuosly. So I lay there happy like a pig in the muck when all of a sudden I hear someone moaning under the bed. Yeah you guessed it already. Stupid Trace had snuck Colin (Colleen) into my room for their silly sleep-over. God I was so pissed with Trace for that not to mention pervy-Colin. Since I'm sort of his guardian for the summer it's me who calls the shots and seeing that he was in a girly pj I thought it a suitable punishment that he get a taste of what it is like to be a girl. From now on Pervy-Colin (Colleen) is to wear panties at all times *and the big buttplug* Hey he's a perv and he should just as well show it to everyone.

As for Trace well I usually hand-spank her but now she had really earned the paddle that I found in Mom and Dad's room. I'd be surprised if she can sit tomorrow but hey she's got to learn not to try and sneak boys into her room when I'm not around. It's a full-time job looking out for her. I'm sure Trace can tell you more about that though.

OK Trace a few things before I leave

#1 No credit-card for you.

#2 When Dr Henry 'Montana' Smith comes to visit us next time you're to have dinner with us. And be quiet so you don't ruin anything. I know you don't like it but as soon as I turn my back you run away with some boy. You know rule number 6.

#3 I know you want a friend of your own but you have to prove that you're a responsible person then.

#4 But since you were so sad after the spankings and all so I got you a new Hello Kitty t-shirt

#5 Remember to use the sun-screen

#6 I told Rosa to make you some lo-carb food as well.

 

[Preston_Cervix]

From the biography of Henry "Montana" Smith

*Chroniclers Note - All discussions were held with Professor Smith at his club in New York.*

I remember meeting Lacey Collins for the first time - my yes. She wasn't the sort of girl that you forget. She sent her creature to meet with me - a lawyer by the name of Morganstern. Dreadful fellow. Can't abide lawyers of any sort, you know - but I digress.

Where was I?

Yes. Collins. Well anyway, this Marty Morgenstern came in asking me to privately tutor his ward. Normally I'd have thrown the chap out on his ear, but the helicopter needed repairs and the lawsuits from the Chinese government were piling up, so like a fool I asked how much. Well, it seemed the girl was quite wealthy and had her heart set on this, and this lawyer was willing to pay much to keep her out of trouble. That should have been enough of a hint to get me to back out - after all, with MY reputation for deflowering research assistants he should have been moving heaven and earth to keep me away from her.

You look shocked? Good God, man, you should see what those little digs out in the badlands are like when the Discovery Channel people pack up their cameras and go home. Positively bacchanalian. I might be a harmless looking old duffer, but I wager I could still ruin your wife for other men, even now. Back then, of course, I was a force of nature, in the prime of my life. No woman was safe - you know what they say about Paleontologists. You don't? Well, we're like archaeologists, but with bigger bones, if you catch my drift.

Anyway, I was thinking only of the zeroes on the damn cheque, and I suppose the idea of talking about dinosaurs for an hour or two a week with some daddy's girl wasn't too intimidating. When I agreed I saw the shyster bastard smile though, and that's when I knew I was screwed. Well, literally, as it happened.

He arranged a date for me to get to know the little airhead. I dressed appropriately in my usual rig for these sorts of things. Conventional enough not to scare the parents, but everything tailored enough to show off the kind of body that you needed in my field. You laugh, sir? I assume you've never seen a field paleontologist in action - those little skeletons look light, but you try extracting one from a secret government vault in the Xianuga province under fire! You thought they came from out of the ground? Of course they do - but it's much easier to appropriate recovered specimens than spend all your time out grubbing in the dirt. The governments of the world have been hoarding dinosaur skeletons for centuries, and raiding each others strategic stockpiles too! Do try and pay attention man!

Anyway, Morganstern and I went to the house. Nice place, suitably palatial and in a fine part of town. The parents it seemed weren't in, and la Collins herself met us. Damn me, what a piece! She had my mouth watering the moment I walked through the door, and I became much more positive about this assignment. However, the lawyer didn't leave and she sat and talked about bloody dinosaurs for four hours straight with stars in her eyes. A couple of times I could see her wondering what else I had a masters degree in, but under the circumstances, there was little we could do to discuss extra curriculur study.

Luckily for me, despite a love for our dear departed reptillian friends, she's not much of a thinker. I'm sure I can gain access to Miss Collins vault as easily as I did the Soviet state dinosaur repositories. You hear that, Kropotkin? I said EASILY you blackguard!

Sorry. Digression again.

Anyway, one interesting thing, I learned that the young Collins wishes to take the helm of her departed fathers ketchup empire. The lawyer, who no doubt gains significant capital from running the estate himself, obviously wishes her not to, but still plays the concerned guardian. I'm obviously supposed to keep young Miss Lacey so busy that she doesn't think about this leech that's embezzling her family fortune and living high on the hog. Luckily for me, I'm utterly untroubled by morals or scruples - so long as I get to bang the delicious little creature, and get my own financial consideration promptly, I think the good Morganstern and I can do business happily.

Oh, don't look shocked. You've seen the pictures, you'd have done it too.

 

[naughty_nympho]

Lace I love you and stuff but you spelled ketchup wrong and that is like really bad

The Story of Miss Tracey Michelle Collins Esquire
Part IIIII​

I will get to your questions and stuff in sec, Lace, but first things first I am going to tell you something that you will be really proud of me and stuff.

Ok, so I know we had important company over, that Marlboro Man, and you know I used to see him in magazines all the time on a horse. It is good he is famous, Lace, but you should know he smokes! I know you are really against that and stuff when you caught me and that other French girl doing it in the bathroom when we were in school and I wanted to let you know now so it doesn’t hurt you more later when you see him in a magazine smoking.

Well anyway I decided that I should expand my horizontals so I asked Colin (Colleen) because you know he is really smart and he showed me some dinosaur stuff on TV. Lace, I love you and all that but that show was so boring. The guy on the show said they were exstinked. I asked Colin (Colleen) what that was but he said he was going to go upstairs with his magazines and do his nails and I told him where all our polish is. Anyway I will ask the Marlboro Man what exstinked is. I think I know but I want to make sure and it would be good for me to be part of the conversation so he can see I am not just another pretty face with a nice butt but that I know about dinosaurs, too

Oh and Lace you lied when you said you could never be mad. Remember that dress up party we went to and how you made me leave? The Dracula man wasn’t really going to suck my blood he just had fake teeth. Duh.

Oh, Lace, I have this idea for when Marlboro Man comes over, I can dress up like in my French maid’s costume and will be like your maid and stuff! I will put on my brown wig and no one will know it is me! “Can I get you a drink Mr. Marlboro?” See, I could do it Lace! Unless you want me to wear my Hello Kitty shirt you got me? Thank you for that, you are so nice! Colin (Colleen) says it show off my assets. I told him that my skirt did that, not the top?

Oh and smarty pants see if you can answer me this, ok? Why do they speak FRENCH in Canada and not Canadian? Like we speak American?

I feel so bad for getting Colin (Colleen) in trouble. He keeps on asking me the access code for the TV and when I ask him what he is going to watch he says it is stuff about culture and so I probably wouldn’t like it. Like “Remember the dinosaur show, Tracey?” I gave it to him but I told him he couldn’t tell Lace. I am a little sad that he doesn’t want to do stuff with me anymore so I did it to get on his good side. It is really easy 4187, like our birthday. I am not looking forward to it, we will be so old and I will need to get a face lift but I will never be able to afford it on the allowance Lace gives me (I want to go to that one guy on Dr. 90210.) She is always talking about thinking of my future and I am! I am not getting any younger so I probably should start looking for a guy to marry me. If you know anybody call Lace and let her know and maybe you can come over and stuff. Just don’t use us because you want some free ketchup. Lace will see through you.

Anyway, I think that Lace isn’t mad at me anymore because she let me lick her pussy and ass like a whole bunch before and after the Marlboro Man came over. Lace says that sometimes she needs to release her frustrations. See, she doesn’t do just anyone on the first date. She needs to make sure he is a Proper Man. So like if you’re interested in me Lace will have to find out whether you are a Proper Man. Anyway my tongue was blue from the M&Ms I hope that the blue I left on Lace will go away. Hopefully she will not look at it because then she will know.

You know when it comes down to it I am super lucky to have Lace. She tries so hard to take care of me and teaches me important stuff I need to know for life for when I get married and have babies of my own with a nice husband and Lace can come over and visit us and if I have twins I will name them Lacey and Tracey just like us and then they will be best friends like us and name their babies Lacey and Tracey. Lace you are my hero and I love you so much and thanks again for the hello kitty shirt.

Lace I will use the sun-screen just tell me what window it is on.

 

[magbeam]

From the law offices of
S. Mortimer Morgenstern, Esq.

So it was right after the girls' 18th birthday that I made one of my routine visits down to their haim. I brought my grape suckers and blue M&Ms for Tracey (G-d knows why she wants such shkapeh, rich as those girls are, but if they make her happy and save me a pretty penny, more's the better) and some Mozart or Beethoven or whatever spritzy-fehgeleh composer she pretends to like at the moment for Lacey. I used to bring her cherry suckers but she seems to have caught on, little nudnik, and doesn't lick them around me as often. But at least Lacey still shows such koved towards her shver!

So I show up and who should I see, but Lacey sitting there in some business suit, Tracey nowhere to be seen. What narishkeit is this? She would have caused a riot in any businessroom, lemme tell ya, the way her taters puffed out that front! Taters I paid for, no less!

She started going into some megillah about how she ought to be made CEO, how it was only right that one of the Collins family should run the Collins company, that she was Bobby's oldest and learned from and studied business.

Yada yada yada, all that kakameyme. Of course, I was turning some serious mezumen from my position as guardian and head of the company after Bobby's death. I couldn't stop her, but I could make it difficult for her. Of course, I couldn't help but feel naches, though. She was certainly taking after her shver!

Then she moves next to me and starts acting all heimish-like, and I feel my putz start to poke up. She brings that wet pink pisk of hers up to my ear and starts to whisper about how we're all family here, how she and Tracey have so much respect for me, yada yada. At this point, I wasn't listening. Obviously, for my help in giving her the position of CEO, she was giving me some of her tuchus. It was a metsiye, not even a hard one, and I reached over, but she batted it away.

Oh ho, what's this noodge, I ask her? She merely smiles that little shayna smile and says that she thinks that Tracey should be made spokesmodel, help company sales, yada yada. Well, who should walk down the stairs at that but Lacey herself, in a ridiculous little silver bikini that hid bupkis. She smiled in that behaimeh way, and posed, clumsily said lines that I was sure Lacey must have painstakingly drilled into her, and generally drove me shpilkes. I knew what this was.

Lacey told me that she was mine, just watch it between the legs or I might get her in a family way, and I definitely don't want to have to explain that to Miriam. She explained to Lacey slowly that I was a "True Gentleman" or some other catchphrase of theirs she's always spouting and that she should treat me nicely and show off her assets. She takes me upstairs - by this time I think it's all a kholem - into Lacey's rooms; she's afraid of her own room for some reason, but who cares, it's kinky but I like it!

The little nebekh cousin of theirs is in there and I tell him to vamoose. He's dressed like a lady now. What a fershtickt! But he leaves and she's on the bed and I'm on her like salt on a latke. I tear her little silver number off - she can buy another - and manoshevitz, you can imagine what she looked like in her birthday suit! My putz is getting painful so I strip off my own suit, and schmeer her legs. She complains that she's fat when I touch her thighs but starts moaning when I begin to nosh away, telling me I'm almost as good as Lacey. As if this couldn't get me any more revved! Tastes great, too, like Miriam used to before the kids and the yeast infection.

So I have my fill, and push her over, potch her tokhes a bit before shtupping her reverse onramp. And I thought my slurping got her going! She's a regular Chernobyl when you take her bumpkin! I groaned and came in no time; she insisted she take it in the pupik, what was I going to argue?

When she said it was because Tracey had told her not to waste it, I was almost ready for another ride. But I got a bum ticker, ya see. Not healthy. Neither would be having Miriam ask why I was so late at the Collins. She has no concept of mishpokhe, does Miriam! So I toss her the grape lolly and blue M&Ms and she gushes and hugs me and starts showin' down, not even minding my little babies all over her face. What a girl!

On my way out, the new CEO made a point of asking me for one mor favor. Ekh, not like I could say no there, not with my mind all shlemiel, not to mention my body! Seems she wanted me to find and introduce her to some dinosaur maven, with the name Harry White or some other bland goyisher name. Seems he liked to steal dinosaur bones from the Chinamen, at least that was his latest exploit. Wasn't hard to find, either, didn't even need ta hire a shamus.

Tried to act like a real macher, like he was too good for me, as if he wasn't fershtoonkeneh himself. Pfah. I had to sit through a big megillah before I could cut through it and offer him the paycheck for being Lacey's toy. He might have been too good for me but my mezumen wasn't and we struck ourselves a metsiye in no time. And of course once he saw the little lady...

But then a mensch never speaks of such a thing - especially when Miriam might be around - and in any case Jacob is on the other live. Of course I need to go shlep my work to go help him out again. You how know how mishpokhe is, neh?

 

[naughty_nympho]

Lace don't be mad but Mr. Morgenstern Esquire spilled the beans first

How I Became Famous
by Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Spokesmodel
Collinses Premium Ketchup, Ink​

Well ok Lace told me I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about the stuff about Mr. Morty Morgenstern Esquire but since the beans have been spilled I guess I can tell you all about it and my first job. I am officially the spokesmodel from Collinses Premium Brand Ketchup. Lace says it won’t be easy because I will have to learn lots of lines but it can’t be that bad plus Lace is my boss so if I messed up she would just spank me and not fire me or anything bad like that.

My brain was starting to hurt really bad from learning all those lines so Lace said that another part of my job was to lick her whenever she wanted, well she is a little dense to pay me for something I would do for free you know because I already did that anyway. Then she gets on this suit but it has a skirt and not pants. I told her she should get a red suit because we sell ketchup and it’s red too. She didn’t but it was ok, she looked like she was Dolly Parton in that one movie 9 to 5 or something. She tells me if we play our cards right she will become CEO of Collinses Ketchup Ink so it is really important that I learn my lines really good and that I am really nice to Mr. Morgenstern Esquire and let him do whatever he wants with me. I hope that he knows how to play go fish because I only know that card game.

Ok so the lines weren’t that hard but there was so many of them. She would let me know when to walk down the stairs in my silver bikini thing and then I would have to say the three lines for Mr. Morgenstern Esquire. I walked down the stairs really careful because I had on these really high heels and stuff. And then I gave Mr. Morgenstern Esquire the little look Lace showed me where I lick my lips and stick out my chest. Lace says guys like to look at the water balloons in my chest so I should show them off. Then it was the hard part where I had to say my lines. Lace helped me out mouthing the words when I forgot them. So I smile at him as he looked really happy to see me and I said “Collinses Ketchup, so good you want to lick it.” I looked at Lace and Mr. Morgenstern Esquire and they both looked real happy with me so I thought really hard and remember my second line. “Collinses Mayonnaise, you know you want it.” And then I didn’t remember the third one but I saw Lace’s lips move and then I remembered it. “Collinses low-fat mayo, be all you can be.”

Then Lace told me to go upstairs with Mr. Morgenstern Esquire so I did and then he took my bikini off and it tore I hope that he will tell Lace he did it because I am getting spanked a whole lot lately. I kind of tried to cover myself up because you know how fat I am but he just said I looked good enough to eat and I had a nice ass so it was ok then. Then he started licking me and I always like that but Lace does it best, she said it is because she is a girl, but Mr. Morgenstern Esquire made it feel really nice too. Then he put his big stick in my kitty and then in my butt. Lace says I am an anal slut but I am not sure what that means, but playing with his stick is fun and I like it in my butt.

Ok so then I know that the icing is going to come out of Mr. Morgenstern Esquire’s stick so I told him to do it in my mouth as Lace said it is precious and we shouldn’t waste any of it. It doesn’t taste like icing but Lace says it is and she is the boss. Maybe it is gourmet stuff or something. Anyways, he gets up and leaves, he seemed really happy he even gave me some grape lollipops and blue M&Ms. I was so excited. I took a bubble bath after that because I saw Lace still had some official business with Mr. Morgenstern Esquire and I didn’t want to bother her. She was talking about dinosaurs and stuff.

Finally he left so I put on my red robe and slippers (because you know now I am the Collinses Ketchup spokesmodel now) and Colin (Colleen) said I looked like a tomato and I said that is the point! He just looked at me like he always does, I have tried to take him under my wing and stuff but he is making it really hard because sometimes he treats me like I am dumb and stuff. He should just ask me to explain to him and I will help him out like when I bought him the ProActiv solution from the TV.

So I go to Lace all serious like now that I have a job and stuff, I am a working girl. I said that since I am working for Collinses Ketchup that I should have a say in some things. I told her my ideas like having a commercial where I swim in ketchup or where I dye my hair red (like ketchup.) She said that there are already people who do that kinda stuff and all I need to do is do what she tells me. Ok so I move on to talk about my getting paid and stuff because I have to start thinking of my future. Lace said she had it all figured out. She will give me little vouchers for the stores I like to go it. It is like money. I asked her what stores and she said we would decide on that later. Then I asked if since I had a job now if I could get a pet crocodile (baby dinosaur) for us and that Colin (Colleen) could watch him while I was working. She just looked at me funny. I wish she wouldn’t do it especially when we are talking serious.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *CEO of Collins Ketchup Inc and the Brains of the Collins' Family*

Isn't Trace the sweetest. Not the sharpest tool in the drawer but still. Now I don't want to hear anything about her being stupid OK. Tracey is just differently abled in the thinking department. Besides being a spokesperson doesn't require a rocket scientist does it?

OK you had a few questions Trace and I'll try to answer them. But remember now that I'm the CEO I'll have less time to do so than before.

#1 Dr. Henry "Montana" Smith isn't the Marlboro Man. The Marlboro Man is kind of like you are for Collins' Ketchup, a model. Dr Montana Smith is a Proper Man who hunts for dinosaurs.

#2 About Mom (Chantal to you). You know that USA is the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave Trace. A lot of people from like England and Europe came to the USA because they were oppressed in Europe and England. Great-granddad Bobby was one. The King of England oppressed him just because he had a lot of illegitimate children, and forced him to pay a lot of taxes. So he went to the USA and became rich because here there's no King to oppress him. OK Canada where Mom (Chantal) comes from is like the USA but not that good, so people from France went there and they refused to learn to speak English like we do in the USA. That's why there are French speakers in Canada, but that doesn't make them French Trace.

#3 We will not buy a crocodile. You're scared of them remember. Besides they eat a lot of yucky stuff like raw chickens and you'd get dirty feeding it.

#4 I told Rosa to make you a lo-carb diet and I got you a Powerpuff Girls' lunchbox to keep it in. That's nice isn't it?

OK so now I was made CEO and had my first date with Montana Smith. God I was so horny just looking at him. He really is a Proper Man and although I wanted to sample his mighty bone, Morty insisted on staying through the whole dinner. Jeez sometimes he really gets on my nerves. I like him and everything but he should understand that I can manage my own affairs thank you very much. Especially when it comes to men like Montana Smith. I have to invite him over next weekend since Morty is off with his fat wifey.

Besides Morty owes me seeing as I let him have a taste of Trace. I had to tell him to be careful since we can't have Trace getting preggers and what not. Jeez that would be an almighty headache. Two babies to take care of. Since Trace isn't on the pill it had to be buttsex for the two of them. Not that Morty seemed to be that sad about that. The old dirty bastard probably don't get that flavour with Mrs Morgenstern. Anyhow I thought it good for Trace as well, seeing what guys are really like, to prove a point.

So while Morty had a ride with Trace I had a look at the papers you know the official ones. It seems that Collins Ketchup Inc isn't doing as good as I thought it was. Sales are going down because the Chinese are setting up new ketchup plants all over. Forcing honest Americans out on the streets since the average Chinese works 25 hours a day for a bowl or rice or so. We can't match that competition. It's disgusting really. I had to think of a strategy to win back the customers. Something suitable for the family environment but sassy enough to appeal to the young urban professional population of America.

Anyway after Morty left Trace wanted to discuss her new position and things like salary. Yeah right like I'm getting her a credit card. No way José. She will be paid in vouchers. I'll have Morty fix that. So all this thinking got me really frustrated so I had Trace give me a rimjob. If you only knew how good that girl is with her tongue. Not speaking I mean but licking my ass, and she seems really pleased whenever she gets the chance to do it so it's a win-win situation.

Laying back on the big couch having Trace's pretty face between my equally pretty buttcheeks the idea just struck me. We're going to go for diversified campaign. One suitable for families, where Trace can act the part of darling cousin Tracey Collins who just loves the taste of proper Collins' Ketchup. Then a sassy one for the singles and gays where Trace pose in Mom's (Chantal) French Maid uniform and the last one. This is really ingenious - an army contract. Trace in a Stars and Stripes bikini and a sparkler. "Collins' Proud to Serve the Need of our Troops". The idea and Trace's tongue made me cum then and there. God I'm so smart. I had to call Montana Smith and leave a message on his machine, telling him that I wanted to see him the next day. Not that it matters to the ketchup business but hey a girl has to multi-task when she can.

All in all I'm really a role-model I think. A succesful business woman who skillfully juggles her life as a single older sister and cousin as well as proper sexually active singleton. I should be given a tv-show of my own or at least being interviewed on the big talk shows.

(Then I had another idea but I save that for later. I need to finish some of the details before I get into it but I think you will be positively surprised)

OK I got to get some sleep. Long day at the office tomorrow and I need to fix a babysitter for Trace. I wonder if Rosa could do that?

Trace a few rules for tomorrow

#1 Colin (Colleen) is to stay in the tool shed.

#2 I've changed the access code to the TV and you won't get it since you let Colin (Colleen) watch porn on PPV

#3 We're going to go see a doctor and get you on the pills as well

#4 Learn the lines.

#5 If you're good you'll get a bag of blue M&Ms and a new Hello Kitty bag.

 

[magbeam]

Whoa whoa whoa. Hang on a second. I feel I've been, what's the word, slandered here. Libelling my good name. All those other fancypants words by high-tootin' brother loves to throw about as if he actually went to lawyer college. Just talkin' about a arrogant lawyer puttin' on airs doesn't narrow the field down, I know, but mebbe you can guess already. Yeah, I'm talkin' about my brother, Mortimer Morgenstern. You can forget the 'S.,' he added it to his name to make himself sound even more appealing.

Oh, of course, how impolite of me not to properly introduce ourselves, since I'm sure that ass Morty sure won't. I'm Jack Grazziano. Yeah, I was born Jacob Morgenstern, but so what? Pappy was from Hungary anyways, changed his name to get over here easier. Was about as Jewish as Malcom-X was Muslim. All that Yiddish Morty throws around? Forget it, it's as fake as his hair. Makes him sound more like what people think lawyers ought to. Which helps since, as I've already mentioned, the bum neva even went to no law school. Got his degree or whateva from a six-week mail correspondence course. A right old shyster, can't even do my tax returns right.

The Yiddish also helped him fetch Miriam, of course, which was what he wanted: a nice Jewish girl, which is of course about the only thing she's got going for herself. Helps him blend in at the temple or Sabbat or whatever they go to pray in every Saturday.

Yeah, I know Grazziano ain't Hungary, so what, big deal? I don't even know no Hungry names. Bidness I'm in, wop names is good. What bidness is that? Well, you ever hear the term 'Italian Stallion?' Forget Sly, with my name you could use it to paint me with a brushstroke, or whatever the term is.

Yeah, I'm a porn actor, or used to. Nah, not just actor, I'm a star, baby. Or used to. Maybe you've seen some of my films? "Anal Wall Stretching 24," "No-Lube Bangers 51," "Daddy's Little Cumdumpster," and my favorite, "Jaws 9: Shark Vengeance." Yeah, the last ain't no porno, but when else am I gonna ever be able to be in a real respectable-like movie?

I got out of that bidness in the late 80s, thanks to that asshole Reagan and his morality Gestapo - ooh, look, I made a Nazi joke, don't tell S. Morty! Still, I voted for him, anyone who wants to cut my taxes is a-OK in my books. Instead, I went legit, at least as much as possible: I got out of film and started producin' them. Yeah, I own a studio, Famishing Films, you eva seen our products? Very tastefully done, if I do say so myself, high-quality production values. Want me to send you a free sample? All, that's all right, no hard feelings.

He said what? He needs to bail me out? HA! Morty sure has gotten himself a sense of humor. He never was funny before. At least, I think so, it's hard to tell when every other word out his mouth is Jewish. I bet he makes it up, anyways. Or maybe not, Miriam seems like she'd clock him bad.

I did hear he was in a bit of a tight spot with her, though. Some trouble with his clients, the Collins girls. He's always goin' on about how hard it is to deal with them, how disgustin' they is, yadda yadda. Well, seems like Miriam saw a new catsup commercial one of them twins put on, and it I guess callin' the girl a looker would be a real disserive, ya know?

Anyways, I wouldn't know myself, I'm too busy workin' on my new line. Just got a new prospect in today, name of Candi Juggs. And lemme tell ya, that name ain't no scandal or libel or whatever! I can hear the crew callin', the rest break's almost over and I always supervise all my productions. That's how you know you gettin' quality. Listen, if Morty eevr spits out that trash again, you come callin' to ol' Uncle Jack, ya hear me?

 

[Preston_Cervix]

*From the biography of Professor Henry "Montana" Smith*

Well, by the time I got out of there I was about ready to drive railroad spikes with the old feller, if you know what I mean. Lacey Delphine Collins - what an apropos middle name, because she really was divine. Creamy skin, deep limpid eyes, fake tits and an ass that made me hard enough to split rocks.

Of course that shyster bastard Morgenstern insisted on staying - not because he disaproved of me excavating young Collins, you understand, but because he wanted to set the hook nice and hard. For both of us, because if the attraction wasn't mutual you could paint me pink and set me loose in San Fransisco.

We did that to a chap once, he got back to the club alright, but he never spoke of his exploits. Anyway, I digress...

Anyway, that same day, in a spiteful mood, I went and cashed Morgenstern's cheque. One never knows in this line of work, and I wasn't doing anything until I had that money in my bank. It wasn't a huge sum, but for a retainer it was nice - and the regular payments that were to follow promised to cure all my ills. The bank clerk treated me with the usual respect - come on, plummy accent, polite manners and a five figure cheque to deposit - and I charmed her a little while waiting for the manager.

He told me straight away, that the other bank confirmed that the funds were present, but that it would take a couple of days for the transfer to go through. In other words, I couldn't have my damn money until they'd played with it for a few days. Status quo ante, what can you do? I caressed the clerks fingers, making her sigh and thanked them both for their trouble.

When I got home, wondering if I should have slipped the clerk my phone number, I saw messages blinking on my machine. Hitting the play button I cursed as the tide of mandarin invective clashed on my ears. They really WERE very unhappy with me, from what I could hear. I cursed the grainy CCTV picture that had caught my image well enough to identify me.

There were two more calls in Mandarin chinese, one call from the heliport asking when I was FINALLY going to make the downpayment on the repairs so that they could start and then a sultry voice startled me back to attention. It was la Collins, but whilst her normal voice was fairly sweet, now she purred like a cat as she spoke. I could well imagine what had caused the change, and wondered who was trespassing on Montana's dig! It was clear that I had quite some competition from the way she sounded indecently satisfied - but then again, the message was asking me to drop by tomorrow so it was clear that I was an itch that she still hadn't scratched. Well, fortune favours the bold - by this time tomorrow I should have the Collins female eating out of my hand, and then I could ask Morgenstern for my first months 'tuition' up front.

Damn me, sir. You look as if you've never seen a cad in your life - trust me, throw one of those drink coasters up into the air and you're bound to hit one in here. This *is* a Gentleman's club, after all. No, not a strip joint, you philistine. *sigh*

To cut a long story short, I presented myself to the Ketchup Mansion on the date specified, rigged for action and presentably dressed.

 

[Fuckpoppet]

Lacey Collins *CEO of Collins Ketchup Inc and the Brains of the Collins' Family*

If you only knew how excited I was when Dr. Henry "Montana" Smith called in the morning and told me that it was time for my tution. It could not have been more than say 9 or so and I was still in bed, having darling Trace's pretty face in between my legs, putting her little tongue to some proper use.

Jeez this called for some re-shuffling of my schedule but hey I'm a CEO these days and I know how to be flexible when I have to. I got Trace to finish what she was doing and then jump into the shower to make herself ready for a day at the office.

We rode to work 45 minutes later in my red Porsche. Yes I know it's not an American car but it's sort of traditional that the head of the Collins' clan drives one. Sorry I'm not going to break with family tradition. Trace was sitting next to me and alternating between rehearsing her lines or just singing along to the my Iron Maiden cd. The tune for the day was 'Can I play with madness' *aptly chosen if you ask me* although Trace sang 'matches'. She's so cute.

I had it all planned, I would present Trace to the board and they'd be absolutely charmed by her. Who wouldn't? Besides I had stopped to pick up the Stars and Stripes bikini and the white Stetson and I have yet to meet a guy who's immune to that. Perhaps you can tell the readers about what the nice gentlemen and Mrs Havers and Miss Jerming thought about your presentation Trace?

It was really a bit of good-cop *Trace* and bad-cop *me* when we went head to head with the board and it took all my honed intelligence to make them see sense. Jeez these people work for me and they do well to remember it. Yes I had to fire Mr Retzger who's been with the company since Granddad Bobby's days. Too bad but I can't have someone call me names like that. Well I guess I can handle it but he was really mean to Trace and called her a retard. I went absolutely ballistic and told him in no uncertain terms that he's fired and if he stayed in my board-room then he bloody well have to pay rent.

We had to call a break since Tracey was in a bit of a state. I had to have one of the assistants run and buy her a bag of blue M&M:s and promised that I'd get her the new Powerpuff Girls' video if she'd stop crying. I don't know if it was the video or the M&M:s that did it but she stopped sobbing and we could resume the presentation. I suppose that the combination of my brains and Trace's looks really impressed and convinced hte board that my strategy was the right one. Yeah Morty says it was because I fired old man Retzger but I like to believe that it was rather the awe they felt for my superior sense of business and stuff.

Anyway the meeting just dragged out and dragged out and I really wanted to get home, put Trace in front of the TV with a bag of M&M.s and spend some quality time with Dr Henry "Montana" Smith. I had got a new documentary that I wanted him to to watch with me. "Jurassic Cocks" by Famishing Films. I know they rarely make it on to Discovery Channel but perhaps Dr Montana Smith would be so good to explain that as well.

OK so the meeting's over and I had picked up the PPG film for Trace and the M&M's as promised. Trace refused to put her business suit back on and went prancing around in her Stars and Stripes bikini and Stetson. Yup she caused a bit of a riot when she walked into the Megastore but well she's earned it and I told her that although she's been a bit bad I wouldn't spank her later.

Finally getting home I put Trace in the bedroom with the fillm and the sweets. Jumping into the shower and doing a bit of scrubbing here and a bit of shaving there. Decided to go for the innocent style as far as clothes were concerned. It was a bit of a a nervous wait but at 7 he finally shows up. God he's so handsome and most definetly a Proper Man. I swear it took him no longer than 10 seconds before he had me sprawled across his laps spanking my bare butt for being a bad student. Mmm that was so good. Then a bit of taste of the old dinosaur bone. I swear Montana must be at least 15" in lenght. I tried taking him all the way but sadly I didn't succeed. Well there's more ways to dig out a dino for the cunning paleontologista, and within seconds after that Dr Montana Smith had begun some very interesting and pleasurable excavations both back and front.

I think I'll stop there seeing as I accidentally left the Jurassic Cocks film with Trace...I guess that will make her wonder about the nature of paleontology.

 

[naughty_nympho]

Please Lace don't be mad at me!

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
by Miss Tracey Michelle Collins
Spokesmodel
Collinses Ketchup Ink​

I have been sooo busy lately. Being a working girl and all, things aren’t a walk of cake. I mean, do you realize I am like the spokesmodel for a major ketchup company? No more sneaking in episodes of 90210 for me. I have a company to represent. (Ok, well maybe I can still watch a little bit of Saved by the Bell, those are only a half hour long I think.) Lace has been on me constantly about my lines and all the stuff I have to remember. It gives me a headache and makes my brain hurt. But it is not all bad because I get to wear these different costumes, like this one red white and blue bikini thing with a cowboy hat, I look so cute and Colin (Colleen) likes it, too. I wish he had one so we could be twins but you know how Lace is.

So anyway the first day Lace leaves me all by myself and puts Colin (Colleen) my bff in the toolshed. I think that is like way cruel. I finally talked Rosa into letting him out and not telling on me but don’t tell Lace. Rosa started saying all this stuff and praying to make it stop. I don’t know what she was talking about but then she let my little cousin out so we hung around and did girl stuff. But anyways I didn’t realize but Lace left me all these dumb rules again for when she is not around. I think I broke like all of them but you know they are always saying stuff about how rules are meant to be broken so Lace probably wants me to do that stuff anyway.

Colin (Colleen) was really mad though when he told me he was going to watch some TV and the access code didn’t work. I told him it was because I let him watch bad stuff but he just got an attitude with me and was like whatever and I was like whatever and then we didn’t talk for awhile till Lace called to check up on me and so I put him back in the toolshed so when Lace came back I was doing my lines and practicing and stuff. I talked with Rosa and wanted her to help me practice my lines but she said something about going to shoot herself. She did tell me that if I go away she will tell Lace I was really good so I can get my Hello Kitty bag to match my shirt and some more blue M&Ms. I should probably cut back on the M&Ms though because I am a model after all.

Anyway now that Lace is Miss Business she isn’t as much fun anymore. She wants to talk about ketchup and dinosaurs all the time and I feel my brain dying in my head so I have to leave and go do something productive with myself like draw and then I put the picture up on the fridge and Lace is so proud of me and stuff. I went to bed early that night and a good thing too because Lace had her legs around my head all night long it seemed and I really needed my beauty sleep because you know tomorrow was my big day being a model and all and going to see the board.

Me and Lace had to get up really early the next morning like at 10 to go to this place. It look like an hour to get there and I was so bored but Lace kept making me say my lines and then she would put her music up really loud and I would sing along. Sometimes people look at me funny but I just wave and sometimes they wave back at me. Especially when I sang that matches song.

So we get there and I was a little confused because it was just a big room with a whole bunch of old people and no one was wearing a red suit which I thought was stupid because after all we are making ketchup here, right? Collinses Premium Ketchup? Anyway, I thought I did really good but there were these two manly looking ladies that kept on whispering stuff to each other and I knew it was about me. I got a little embarrassed and messed up my lines and then there was this mean guy who called me a retard. Well Lace got really really mad and fired him but the damage had been done and I started crying and there were a few nice people there who told me I was too pretty to cry then Lace came up to me and made me feel lots better. But I still was crying because I was so excited that I was going to be the ketchup lady and these people were so mean about it.

Anyways I got through it all and Lacey was really nice but I really don’t like working it is more fun to stay at home and do stuff with Colin (Colleen) than work but Lace said that not every day will be like this one which is good. Then on the way home we stopped at Walmart and Lace looked at me funny but I told her that since the Sam guy was American I should wear my American bikini in there. So I did. Lace got me some more blue M&Ms and a PowderPuff Girl dvd that I wanted really bad. I didn’t know how to work it but she said she could show me or Colin (Colleen) could.

Ok then Lace gets really serious. She has a date tonight, a real proper man, the Marlboro Man with the dinosaurs. Of course I remember that important stuff. I was gonna ask if I could dress up like a dinosaur but I guess not because instead she put me in her room and got ready and stuff. I was really sad because I wanted to meet the Marlboro Man and get his autograph, I even had a magazine where I found his picture in it and was going to have him sign it.

And then somehow Lace gave me some stupid movie about dinosaurs instead of the PowderPuff Girls movie. Jurassic Cocks. I hated Jurassic Park why would I want to see it again. I don’t know if Lace knows but it wasn’t about dinosaurs it was about the stuff that Lace and me like to do with her friends. These guys had really big sticks. I don’t know why they called it Jurassic Cock though. I thought it was kinda bad that she got the movies mixed up because I figured that she may want to watch that one with the Marlboro Man so I put on my pink robe and slippers and went downstairs to see if I could find Lace. Uh oh. I found her doing the stuff they were doing in the dinosaur movie.

I’m sorry Lace I didn’t mean to walk in on you like that I was just trying to give you your movie and get mine back. Please forgive me, I promise I will be good.

 

[Preston_Cervix]

*From the biography of Professor Henry "Montana" Smith*

It was an absolutely first rate night, I'll tell you that much. She looked so sweet and young, so I didn't expect much at first. Truth be told, breaking them in is always rather fun on its own.

I hadn't been in the house ten minutes when I rattled out a series of BSc level questions about extinct Marine Reptiles and the larger sauropods. Nobody can keep those longnecked bastards straight, so I'd have been hard pushed to be certain myself about some of the answers. Of course, she fluffed them all horribly - although she's more knowledgable than some of my research associates.

With Lacey sniffling at her poor performance, I came it heavy with the stern hand of justice. I told her that I could be angry with her all night, or she could just take her punishment like an adult and we could move on. I had no idea at the time exactly how much adult punishment this girl could soak up, but she was touchingly naive and eager about the whole thing. Or so I thought.

I had barely patted my knee, when she was up and over it, flipping her skirt up as she went. I got my second surprise of the night when I noticed the lack of underwear. By Jove, this was clearly a girl who had expectations of a paleontology lesson not shared by the mainstream!

Seeing those lightly tanned globes just there for the taking, of course I wasted no time fitting the old palm to them. They were firm and from the way she ground herself down against my lap whilst I spanked her, I could tell she was an old hand at this. Not only that, but the knee of my slacks was decidedly damp from where she was squirming against me.

I decided to chance it, and asked her if she knew any other way she could make up her terrible peformance in the test. She nodded and slid between my knees, freed me onehanded - not a task for the fainthearted or weakwristed - and proceeded to attempt to swallow me down. Game lass, she nearly made it on a couple of occaisions, but as they say when trying to find their lost carkeys after a dig, Montana is awfully big.

After that it was a free for all. I've never been in love, and damned if I'm about to start, but if some judge were to chain me to one of these living lowjack's, I hope it's someone like her. She almost ate me alive - there was nothing she wouldn't do, and I should bloody well know, because I tried most of it. The absolute bell ringer for me, though, was when I was pounding her ass hard enough to find oil, and who should walk in except a TWIN to the woman I was manhandling, dressed in a stars and stripes bikini and a white stetson hat.

She looked a little surprised, but not half as surprised as I'd have been if I'd walked in on my sister having her rear end rebored to Montana Caliber. I couldn't help it, crying "God Bless America" I whistled a few bars of the Star Spangled banner in honour of the bikini and exploded inside little Lacey.

After my fireworks, the fireworks started between the sisters. Personally I can't stand to see a woman cry, so I did the only thing possible under these circumstances. I buggered off to the club for a couple of Gin and Tonic's. There's always next week.