turn downs

[NymphGoddess]

I need suggestions on how to give a guy (who is very persistant) a turndown...he just doesn't turn me on at all...and he's very crass. But I don't want to be a bitch...


ideas?

 

[Mac98]

Sit him down and talk to him. Let him down slowly. That's what my last girlfriend did with me after 6 months of dating and I thought it was the classiest way for it to be done.

Although do it somewhere not too fancy... but fancy enough. Example: Don't do it over the phone or at a McDonalds, but don't pay 300$ for the night...

 

[NymphGoddess]

Sit him down and talk to him. Let him down slowly. That's what my last girlfriend did with me after 6 months of dating and I thought it was the classiest way for it to be done.

Although do it somewhere not too fancy... but fancy enough. Example: Don't do it over the phone or at a McDonalds, but don't pay 300$ for the night...

good idea...but impracticle in this case...all he wants is a piece of ass...we've never dated. only friends....

 

[Reba67]

Sometimes they just need to be told bluntly. My sister had a problem with one fellow who was very persistent and completely oblivious to the fact that she was not interested at ALL. Even being bluntly told didn't work for him. Pretty much the mutual friends have to band together to make sure that he doesn't get much opportunity to be alone with her.

 

[emap]

If nice things like I think of you as a friend and couldn't change that or not interested but thanks for asking don't work, you got two choices. Tell him flat out you think he's creepy not cute and will never ever sleep with him, or simply ignore his requests for sex. Anytime he brings it up, don't answer him, pretend he didn't say anything.

 

[NymphGoddess]

Sometimes they just need to be told bluntly. My sister had a problem with one fellow who was very persistent and completely oblivious to the fact that she was not interested at ALL. Even being bluntly told didn't work for him. Pretty much the mutual friends have to band together to make sure that he doesn't get much opportunity to be alone with her.

If nice things like I think of you as a friend and couldn't change that or not interested but thanks for asking don't work, you got two choices. Tell him flat out you think he's creepy not cute and will never ever sleep with him, or simply ignore his requests for sex. Anytime he brings it up, don't answer him, pretend he didn't say anything.

thanks for the ideas....all good...I just have to decide my direction now

 

[subwannabe]

Sounds to me like you need to be a bitch. He's being an asshole.

 

[silverwhisper]

nymphgoddess: if you aren't attracted to him, that's what you need to tell him. don't sugarcoat, don't beat around the bush. anything other than this will ultimately do little but delay having to do it, if you ask me.

ed

 

[Eilan]

Sounds to me like you need to be a bitch. He's being an asshole.

Exactly what I was going to say!

 

[heartforhire]

Deleted

 

[Traveler78]

Yeah you need to firm with him (no pun intended). Sit him down and tell him there is no chance. I am a guy, and believe me you need to be blunt with us. We can take it.

+1, direct approach is usually for the best.

 

[Nightbird]

Be direct and firm..

I hate it when a Woman gives mixed signals just because shes trying to be nice. DON'T DO THAT.. Be clear..

You dont have to be rude and say your an ugly asshole or something like that.

But you can say, No I'm not interested in you. I don't want to be with you, please stop asking.

 

[clutch1]

I need suggestions on how to give a guy (who is very persistant) a turndown...he just doesn't turn me on at all...and he's very crass. But I don't want to be a bitch...


ideas?

I had no idea you felt this way.
I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you, and I'll stop.

This thread did the trick.

 

[silverwhisper]

whoa.



nymphgoddess, if clutch is the guy you're talking about, then creating this thread is absolutely in the category of "worst practices" and ought to head the list.

ed

 

[clutch1]

whoa.



nymphgoddess, if clutch is the guy you're talking about, then creating this thread is absolutely in the category of "worst practices" and ought to head the list.

ed

It was a joke, but if he is on here, showing him this thread is a good idea.

If he isn't, how about the old i'm already taken bit.

 

[kimbernee]

For this kind of guy, you need to perfect the icy stare. Talking at all is a mistake. It says you're willing to negotiate.

 

[Massiccio]

Direct. Direct. Direct. Be direct.

 

[Nightbird]

I disagree.. Icy stare wouldnt work on me..

For this kind of guy, you need to perfect the icy stare. Talking at all is a mistake. It says you're willing to negotiate.

 

[emap]

Oh sure it would, we all have a different icy glare.

Mine for example happens to be a pissed off look with a frying pan being tapped into the other hand and a bit of whispering of if you do not leave right this second...

I rarely have to finish the sentence. Actually only have once and was showing it to a friend.

 

[NymphGoddess]

thanks guys (and gals) no this person is not on lit...some comments reminded me of a movie line..."sometimes Dolores, Sometimes you need to be a high riding bitch. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hang onto.

 

[Kikori]

Sex is (usually or supposed to be) a two way road. If you don't want it with him, then he shouldn't have too much trouble finding someone who does; you can't be his only friend.
Also, and this is probably a better point to bring up, enough persistance can make you feel uncomfortable or even harassed, depending on how it's taken. Not only would said uncomfort make you want him less, it's just not right for him to keep trying to push you somewhere you don't want to be; friends, with benefits or no, don't do that.

 

[kimbernee]

I disagree.. Icy stare wouldnt work on me..

Because you like to pursue women who aren't interested?

 

[NymphGoddess]

Sex is (usually or supposed to be) a two way road. If you don't want it with him, then he shouldn't have too much trouble finding someone who does; you can't be his only friend.
Also, and this is probably a better point to bring up, enough persistance can make you feel uncomfortable or even harassed, depending on how it's taken. Not only would said uncomfort make you want him less, it's just not right for him to keep trying to push you somewhere you don't want to be; friends, with benefits or no, don't do that.

it's called a superiority complex. "all women want me" and that sort of bull shit

 

[Mac98]

If he's just looking for ass, then you can let him know bluntly... I think it's disrespectful to seek sex and just sex with friends.

If he has feelings for you, then that's another story...

Be a bitch if he's being a jerk. My 2 cents.

 

[Mac98]

Double post... my bad.