Try another form poem?

[jthserra]

In reading from one of Billy Collins' books: Picnic, Lightning, I came across an interesting and difficult form: the Paradelle. For the specifics on the form, I quote from the Poets on Line site:

The paradelle is (in Billy Collins' own note) "one of the more demanding French fixed forms, first appearing in the langue d'oc love poetry of the eleventh century. It is a poem of four six-line stanzas in which the first and second lines, as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words. Similarly, the final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words."

Now graphically, I guess it lays out like this

1.
1.
2.
2.
3. all the words from
4. lines 1 & 2

5.
5.
6.
6.
7. all the words from
8. lines 5 & 6

9.
9.
10.
10.
11. all the words from
12. lines 9. & 10

13. all
14. the words
15. and
16. only the words
17. from
18. lines 1-12 (use each word only the same amount of times you use them above... ie if "the" is used three times, use it three times here.

I have tried this form once. It has been posted here to mixed reviews: For Our Names Felt in the Voices . It is a fun, but challenging challenge.

 

[Angeline]

This is a very difficult form. Here's one I wrote about a year ago. I'm going to try another.

Lovers’ Paradelle

Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
Falling into him she unfurls in swaths of silk
As twilight fades to night
As twilight fades to night
She unfurls in him as twilight fades
Falling to silk into swaths of night

Lips this close before touching are drawn
Lips this close before touching are drawn
As fragile birds born by gravity
As fragile birds born by gravity
Lips are fragile as birds born by gravity
drawn this close before touching


Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
Their shining eyes belie the heedless hearts
thus unknowing do they yield
thus unknowing do they yield
Their heedless eyes do shining thus
Belie the unknowing hearts they yield

Touching lips their hearts are born before
They unfurl shining silk to heedless twilight
Drawn unknowing into this black gravity
They fade they close their eyes
Thus fragile as a falling bird she yields to him
Born as swaths of gravity falling into night

 

[HomerPindar]

I remember trying this one before (wasn't there a challenge a year ago or more on this here?) Damn damn tough stuff...and of course, Angeline pulls it off with her usual finese

HomerPindar

 

[Angeline]

I remember trying this one before (wasn't there a challenge a year ago or more on this here?) Damn damn tough stuff...and of course, Angeline pulls it off with her usual finese

HomerPindar

Thank you dear man, but in truth my eyes were crossed for the next 48 hours.

(Actually, if memory serves, Cordelia taught us this form last year and wrote a gorgeous one or two....)

 

[perks]

Paradelle's Contrition

Forgive me father for I have sinned
Forgive me father for I have sinned
It has been a year since my last confession
It has been a year since my last confession
It has been a year since I have sinned
Forgive me father for my last confession.

Oh my God, I sinned against you
Oh my God, I sinned against you
I firmly intend to love as I should
I firmly intend to love as I should
Oh, I firmly sinned
My God, should I intend to love against you?

Give Thanks to the Lord
Give Thanks to the Lord
His Mercy endures forever
His Mercy endures forever
Give to the Lord mercy
His thanks endures forever.

My God, against me have you sinned
It has been a year since, Father.
For my last confession, should I forgive?
Love endures against His mercy
I firmly sinned to give thanks
Oh, to intend as I should!

 

[Icingsugar]

You guys are amazing. And scary. I was minutes away from going insane in my villanelle. This would kill me.

/Ice - freeform mofo

 

[champagne1982]

Mystère d'Amour Paradelle

Peut-être c'est moi que tu m'aimes.
Peut-être c'est moi que tu m'aimes.
Sais que c'est toi que j'adore.
Sais que c'est toi que j'adore.
Qu'est-ce que c'est adores-tu?
Peut-etre je sais que tu m'aimes.

Comment peux j'apprendre de ton vie,
Comment peux j'apprendre de ton vie,
Si tu exiges c'est le mystère?
Si tu exiges c'est le mystère?
Si le mystère de ton vie exige c'est,
Tu peux apprendre comment je suis.

Pourquoi si je restez,
Pourquoi si je restez,
Quand mes cris perçants de coeur disparaissent?
Quand mes cris perçants de coeur disparaissent?
Quand mes cris perçants de coeur, "Pourquoi restez?"
Je devrait disparaître.

Sais c'est un mystère pourquoi,
Mon coeur exige que c'est toi que j'adore.
Comment si tu apprends de moi?
Peut-être si je restez, tu peux,
Quand c'est ton vie,
Que les cris perçants disparaissent.

If I offend anyone by my butchering of the language: Pardon my French, s'il vous plait.

 

[perks]

[jealous]fucking, fuck! In goddamn French no less, you poetic bitch *laughing*[/jealous]

 

[Angeline]

new, just finished

Oh love I sink in the blue heart of your sea
Oh love I sink in the blue heart of your sea
Rolling like waves into your arms
Rolling like waves into your arms
I sink into your heart oh love
Blue like waves rolling in the sea of arms

Give me your tender starfish mouth
Give me your tender starfish mouth
And float your limbs unanchored on these rising swells
And float your limbs unanchored on these rising swells
These tender limbs give rising on your mouth
And float me your starfish swells unanchored

Crash all your oceans into me
Crash all your oceans into me
Drown my cries upon love's shore
Drown my cries upon love's shore
My oceans drown all your love's cries
Crash into me upon my shore

I crash and sink upon your limbs
Rolling like the waves of rising love
Unanchored in your arms, mouth on your blue
oceans into my love's heart swells float into me
Oh give me all these--your tender sea
your starfish shore cries drown