Troll Season

[Samuari]

Troll season is coming right up. Time to get the equipment ready. I’ve waxed my pith helmet, and stroked the machete to an edge that Dundee could be proud of and even Lasher could shave with. Gave the old Four Runner a new set of plugs and wires, washed him, too. Puddles, the wonder poodle is getting her nails done and her bladder topped off. (When she goes into full Zena mode, she is a sight to behold.)

Need to check the regulations. Is a regular hunting license sufficient, or will I need a special permit from Laurel? Are there special hunts for different types of trolls? How about bounties for particularly obnoxious ones? Do I need to turn in the whole carcass or will just the tail serve as proof of kill? What about road kill?

What do you do with the carcass? Are the pelts useful? Are there any good recipes? Or do you just hang ‘em on the doorpost as a warning? Who is the game warden that watches out for infractions, and rewards infractees? Do I need a bail bond card?
Or will this ol’ Get out of Jail Free work? Where IS a lawyer, when ya want one?

 

[Siren]

SAMAURI

 

[Rosebud]

Trolls???? did someone say trolls????
http://www.lysator.liu.se/nordic/ill/Troll/3-troll_h2.jpeghttp://www.caysart.com/thumb.%20og.jpghttp://www.ustrolls.net/550_small.jpg


and Siren...I want a lawyer too *weg*

 

[KillerMuffin]

a four runner............ *sigh*

Gonna smear the upholstery with troll guts?

 

[Samuari]

a four runner............ *sigh*

Gonna smear the upholstery with troll guts?

Nah, just give 'em an enigma... then use a shoebox.

 

[Bobtoad777]

Is this acceptable troll hunting clothing?

http://www.geocities.com/bobtoad777/LPC/elf.gif

 

[scylis]

you forgot the flamethrower, bud... trolls regenerate (and multiply at times) unless you burn them with either fire or acid..
just a little tip from one adventurer to another..

and dragon season has just open where i live... the only hunting season where more hunters die than do the prey!!!

let's see here...
scimitars? .... check!
Hammer of Justice™? .... check!
official Lucasfilm Indian Jones Adventure Hat™? .... check!
official Lucasfilm Indian Jones Leather Jacket? .... check!
bull whip? .... check!
Zippo™ brand windproof lighter with wolf design? .... check!
Boo the miniature giant space hampster? .... *squeak* that's a big check there!
4 cans of whipped cream? .... check!
3 dozen comdoms? .... check.... hmm.. i'll be gone at least a week... better get a few dozen more
Volo's Special Dragon Repelant? .... check! (the stuff seems to ATTRACT the buggers, oddly enough)

ok! i'm ready! anybody wanna come along?

 

[Weird Harold]

Is this acceptable troll hunting clothing?

No, No, No! That's Orc hunting gear.

Troll hunting gear is very similar, but you use a long spear, or a big hammer.

 

[Guest]

Eh? Someone save me! They're ganging up on me!
Save the Trolls!

Damnney, we're part of the ecosystem, if you kill all of us who will eat the spiders and the newbies and the people stupid enough to post opinions?

I'm writing to my Congress Troll, we need to be put on an endangered species list before it's too late.

Save the Trolls!

 

[Silverlily]

Weird Harold, I'm surprised. There were no orcs in ElfQuest.

But you're right. A smart man does not hunt troll with only a knife.

 

[Samuari]

This "knife" is a momento from the "Amigos de Che' Guervia" reunion and surgar harvest. Its allways hacked Trolls. Of course it was used to sweet,not ugh.

 

[Weird Harold]

Weird Harold, I'm surprised. There were no orcs in ElfQuest.

But you're right. A smart man does not hunt troll with only a knife.

I've never read more than a few pages of anything related to Elfquest, so I didn't know they didn't use orcs.

I'm more familiar with AD&D and Heroic Fantasies that have the lesser, (dumber) bad guys to slow down the quest. i.e. Orcs by any other name.

What I do know about Trolls in most heroic fantasies and RPG worlds, is that a smart man doesn't hunt trolls with less than a full troop of heavy armor in tow. My principle tactic with Trolls in AD&D was "Runaway! Runaway!" (All except for Willougby Fox III. He was a fighter, and he had the diploma to prove it. His friend George read it to him.)

 

[Silverlily]

LMAO! Oh my, that was too funny. "Runaway, runaway", talk about serious Monty Python flashbacks!