Triplets- third chapter feedback?

[nightshadow]

Triplets Trilogy - Final Chapter
Genre: Incest

Part One: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=104168
Part Two : http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=104968


All right. So both parts are now posted and up.

Problem is, I'm not getting much in the way of feedback. The first two chapters in the series got all kinds of feedback, almost instantly. Is there something I've done wrong with this final one, 'cause I haven't heard anything really helpful yet about it and there's been more than 13,000 views so far on the first part and more than 1,500 on the second part. I'd think that at least ONE bit of insightful commentary, either good or bad, would have come back by now...

I pretty much thrive on feedback- mostly constructive criticism. What are the story's strongest and weakest points and how could I have made it better?

Anyone interested in the genre/series, please reply! I'm desperate for input!


"It's not fun until someone loses an eye!"
-NightShadow

 

[hiddenself]

I found the original "Triplets" story and the first 2 chapters of "Risk" very very good. They are strong stroke stories and deserve their red Hs. Solid 5s from me. But the last installment of "Risk" got to be annoying at the end (you watch too many Hollywood happy endings).

The "Saga" continues the downward spiral. It's an overkill and lacks any trace of believability (even as a fantasy). The whole-happy-family-fucking-like-bunnies-together becomes ridiculous here. Incest laws repealed? Kids' "sexual frustration"? Come on. How much psychological mumbo-jumbo mixed with Disney can we stomach? Enough already. I couldn't finish the first chapter. Solid 1 for this.

It's best to write "THE END" and stop while you're ahead. But you're not alone in giving in to temptation. Sequels typically range from pathetic to pale imitations of the original effort. Just my own slanted view.

PS And what's with the Scottish (?!) accent in Tenessee -- and twenty years later in Montana? Did I miss the joke?

 

[nightshadow]

The Scottish accent? Uhm... had you read the story more closely, you'd have known that Lydia "Scottish Lass With the Perfect Ass" Post was indeed Scottish. Or did you just skip to the "naughty" bits and gloss over the actual story?

Twenty years later in Montana? When they'd originally moved there, as explained in the first part of chapter 3, they did so because they wanted their privacy and wide-open spaces. By the time the laws were repealed, they'd already made a home in Montana and decided to stay there for good. Makes sense to me if you're wanting to raise a well-grounded family... kids tend to not take well to moving around very much. Studies have shown that children tend to be more secure in themselves when their home environments are secure as well.

Giving in to temptation? Dude, when you've got well over a hundred emails all requesting that a story be continued months after you've quit writing them, I double-dog-dare you to call it merely "temptation." They asked (repeatedly, ad infinitum); I responded.

Lacks believability? Buddy, I threw "believability" out the window with the first chapter- a set of triplets, BGG, where the girls are identical twins??? Ain't no such animal. Genetics just doesn't work like that (not that I've seen, anyway). The whole premise of the plotline was pretty hair-brained... which is one of the fundamental reasons why I was so surprised that it didn't get laughed out of the entire website in the first place. I mean, there's science-fiction, but this was more like "fictional-science-without-the-science."

When it comes right down to it, the third chapter was filled with more sex than the previous two chapters- those were stories, this one was (as you rightly called it) more of a "stroke story" than its predecessors.

Why, again, do we call this place Literotica?

 

[hiddenself]

Actually, the GGB could be from 2 different fertilized eggs (1 egg gives the girl/girl identical twins) and the other gives the (non-identical twin) boy. Technically, not all 3 identical, but close. Hugely unlikely, but quite possible (particularly if mom took fertility drugs). Check your biology. Dude.

Accent? No, I didn't miss it. But it would hardly still be there after all these years in the south and midwest (from high school on), would it? That was my point. Dude.

As for audience clamoring for more... Would you be equally inclined to bow to the majority of the audience if it said your story is crap and you should go jump off a bridge? Maybe you would.

Anyway, my point was that the originals were "good" stroke stories. The later installments were simply bad all-around. But the expert audience disagrees, so you two are a perfect match I suppose.

Over and out.

 

[Omni]

Nightshadow as per your replies here, you are a perfect example of why other authors here and readers do not bother to give feedback.

Buck up dude, if you ask, you need to take your medicine, and hopefully find a cure.



Omni

 

[nightshadow]

I'm not exactly sure how to take that, but.... uhm... okay.

::shrugs::

It's not like we get paid for this kinda stuff. Oh, well.