Trials and tribulations of long distance/cyber Dom/sub relationships...

[RNonthebeach]

First, I've just returned to Literotica and am looking forward to being a part of this awesome community again!

My question: I've been in a few cyber Dom/sub relationships (all long distance) and each had it's merits and pitfalls. I'm curious to know what issues ultimately caused your decline in interest in pursuing the relationship. Ironically, meeting my sub, in person, ruined the dynamic for me on one occasion!

Looking forward to your comments.

 

[Lascivity]

Playing online is fun, but it always only feels like foreplay to me - it makes me want to meet and experience that person in the "real" world. I think, for that reason, any cyber relationship I embarked on could be somewhat limited, unless I knew I was going to meet the person sometime down the road.

I'm not sure that answers your question, exactly, but for me that's the main pitfall of an online relationship - that I'll always want and demand more.

 

[RNonthebeach]

Thanks for the post.

Yep, I agree... "foreplay" is a great way to describe an attention getting online relationship. Unless your partner completely misrepresents themselves then attempts to gloss over this issue when the meet takes place!!!

 

[ARoseSoSweet]

The thing that caused me issues with this was no negotiation before play started and some of the Doms wanted things that were definitely not my thing right off the bat.

And then there is the ones where the Dom (or sub) just disappears and you never hear from them and you don't know what happened to them

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

I think the biggest issue with me has been time zone differences! It's hard for me to get online at the same time as a sub!

 

[MiaDani80]

My sub and I are on our third iteration...stronger and better than the first two times.

I would make two comments:

1) First, relationships, particularly long-distance d/s relationships require commitment to the relationship and communication. Being a long-distance sub, and particularly if one or both are married, means finding the right balance between your relationship and allowing for real life to occur outside of your relationship which is freaking hard. As a dom, accepting that instructions will not be followed at certain times or your sub is not available to you; as a sub, knowing that your master is unreachable and unavailble to you, once you've grown to rely on his instructions and approval day in and day out can be very emotionally trying

2) Aftercare...aftercare is really important in d/s long distance relationships, equally or even more so than real life I think because when you say good bye to each other, it can be extraordinarily lonely and really easy for resentment to build.