Translation, please?

[CreamyLady]

I got this from another site.

Translate a fairly pithy end-of-the-affair phrase into the most flowery language you can; the more flowery the better.

Examples:

"DON'T SLAM THE DOOR ON YOUR WAY OUT"

Takest thou hence, thou lmentable spawn of a craven titmouse.

"EAT SHIT AND DIE"

It's regretably that the rats who dined on you then passed on from a disturbance of their body's nether regions.

"I HOPE THE DOORKNOB DOESN'T HIT YOU IN THE ASS."
As we part, dearest, pray perambulate with haste through the egress of our union . . . I shall be closing said aperture with force.

"HIT THE ROAD, JACK."

Get thee hence with haste, the road beckons to thee; tarry, and thou shalt feel the toe of mine boot on thy fundament.

Have fun.

 

[Cheri]

Personally I like this site cause what's more fun than making your own Elizabethan insult? You errant urchin-snouted scut!
http://www.renfaire.com/Language/insults.html

 

[CreamyLady]

Yes, but why limit it to the Elizabethan?

Besides, I loathe Ren Faires. A pox on all of them.

 

[Jade]

Yes, but why limit it to the Elizabethan?

Besides, I loathe Ren Faires. A pox on all of them.

You must be kidding me? Creamy!! I had not pegged you that way at all. You mean to tell me you don't get even the slightest delight at having flowers in your hair?

 

[CreamyLady]

Oh, Jade, I really, really hate them. I hate the costumes, the people, the vendors, the camps, and sometimes the whole concept of living history.

I've hated them since I spent six accursed weekends at one, selling incense and oils, and acquired the sunburn of a lifetime, sore feet, a real hatred for the SCA and breathing-constricting bodices.

I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate modern conveniences, laxity of speech, dress and morals, and the realization that May in Southern California is absolutely nothing like May in England.

So, I'm a weird witch. I hate Ren Faires, and adore the 21st century. What can I say?

 

[Cheri]

Oh hell yeah! Who in their right mind would like to live in a flea ridden foul smelling utterly sexist society as that?!? I like modern conveniences just fine, plus I like being able to like live through the flu and prevent pregnancy, I don't even need to say how nice vibrators are. I just like insulting people and them not knowing what the hell I said.

 

[CreamyLady]

I only like insulting people when they need it, and I do want them to understand. A lady is never rude unintentionally.

"Thou swiving knave" does have character, but "You fucking asshole" is clearly understood.

 

[Jade]

There's just something about a knight that really turns me on...

Oh... I see... *shy bashful expression*... um.. I am going to one next weekend... you'll still love me won't you?

 

[CreamyLady]

Of course, Jade. It is difference of opinion that makes horse races, after all.