Top 10 Overused Euphemisms

[sweetnpetite]

10. Her heaving breasts

9. His punishing kiss

8. Her liquid center

7. Like silk over steel

6. Her sensitive bud

5. Her honeyed sweetness

4. A dance as old as time

3. His throbbing manhood

2. Her pebbled nubbins

1. An intimate kiss

http://www.eharlequin.com/cms/learntowrite/ltwArticle.jhtml?pageID=030317wt01001

 

[impressive]

2. Her pebbled nubbins

PMSL! Yeah, right.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

10. Her heaving breasts

9. His punishing kiss

7. Like silk over steel

1. An intimate kiss

What are these euphemisms for?

 

[Guest]

WTF? I don't think I've ever read any of them in a story, let alone used one! Did they get that list from Mills and Boon novels?

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: Re: Top 10 Overused Euphemisms

PMSL! Yeah, right.

Thats what I was thinking!

Pebbled Nubbins, I'm gonna have to work that into my next story somehow.

 

[Lord Naraku]

Swollen member always puts me into fits of uncontroled laughter.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Thank you from the bottom of my pulsating pussy.

 

[Liar]

Punishing kiss?

 

[Guest]

No "heat-seeking moisture missile?"

I'm so disappointed.

 

[Guest]

Punishing kiss?

Yes, unfortunately.

Access any "bodice-ripper" story (usually one with invading pirates) to read of that experience.

 

[cheerful_deviant]

No "heat-seeking moisture missile?"

I'm so disappointed.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


That's classic! I'm gonna have it tattoed on my... um, nevermind.

 

[lilith1979]

That list makes me so glad I don't read romance novels...gag! Call it what it is, yes, euphemisms can be nice..but dear lord. I once wrote a poem that used euphemisms-and I'll put it this way, I'm ashamed to admit I wrote it. Granted, I was only 16 or 17 when I wrote it, but there is no excuse for it. Every time I run across it in my poetry book I have to resist the urge to rip it out! I used phrases like 'his love shaft' and 'her velvet tunnel'.

 

[RavenSpirit2k4]

No "heat-seeking moisture missile?"

I'm so disappointed.

Thank you for making me choke on my coffee. If you were My subbie, you'd be cleaning the monitor while I slapped your ass with a belt. Wait, that kinda sounds like fun....

 

[Guest]

Thank you for making me choke on my coffee. If you were My subbie, you'd be cleaning the monitor while I slapped your ass with a belt. Wait, that kinda sounds like fun....

http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/hausarbeit/strik.gif


I don't do windows.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Pity the poor romance writer.

In addition to the list of overused euphemisms S&P found on that Harlequin site, think about all the words romance writers can't use. The available vocabulary will vary depending on how "hot" the sub-genre, but are always limited. Here are two examples:

Vagina: synonyms

Literotica partial list: pussy, beaver, box, crotch, cunt, fuck-hole, gash, glove, hole, slit, snatch, twat, honey-pot, fuzzy taco, hair pie, tuna taco, furburger, (red) snapper, muff, muffin, McMuff, moneymaker, poontang, trim, cooze, coochie, axe wound

Romance list: femininity, womanhood, entrance, mound, labia, vulva, bush, sex

Penis: synonyms

Literotica partial list: cock, bone, boner, dick, hard-on, hose, joy-machine, knob, lance, lovepole, meat, organ, pecker, penis, phallus, pole, pork sword, prick, rod, root, shaft, stem, tool, weapon, wood, woody, Johnson, John Thomas

Romance list: erection, spear, staff, manhood, member, sex,

 

[Guest]

Pussy Prose
by sweetsubsarahh ©

You could say that pussy is often cliche’:

wool, trim, cooz, slash,
snatch, twat, taco, gash,
brownie, beaver, bush, hole,
snapper, box, place for pole,

Is it small and tight, wet and hot,
a velvet sheath in want of cock?

Perhaps it’s roomy, liquid glove,
mature women truly know how to love.

Maybe it’s furry, trimmed or bare;
bald is beautiful and sexy down there.

I think of all descriptions chose
and realize nothing can come close.

Because my pussy is - yours.
And though it is shaved, sweetly clinging, and sensuously wet,
it still belongs to you.

(now don’t get me started on my ass . . . )

 

[smartnsassy]

That list makes me so glad I don't read romance novels...gag! Call it what it is, yes, euphemisms can be nice..but dear lord. I once wrote a poem that used euphemisms-and I'll put it this way, I'm ashamed to admit I wrote it. Granted, I was only 16 or 17 when I wrote it, but there is no excuse for it. Every time I run across it in my poetry book I have to resist the urge to rip it out! I used phrases like 'his love shaft' and 'her velvet tunnel'.

Romance novels are not what they used to be.

Believe me, I don't read them often, but I'm always suprised.

 

[smartnsassy]

Pity the poor romance writer.

In addition to the list of overused euphemisms S&P found on that Harlequin site, think about all the words romance writers can't use. The available vocabulary will vary depending on how "hot" the sub-genre, but are always limited. Here are two examples:

Vagina: synonyms

Literotica partial list: pussy, beaver, box, crotch, cunt, fuck-hole, gash, glove, hole, slit, snatch, twat, honey-pot, fuzzy taco, hair pie, tuna taco, furburger, (red) snapper, muff, muffin, McMuff, moneymaker, poontang, trim, cooze, coochie, axe wound

Romance list: femininity, womanhood, entrance, mound, labia, vulva, bush, sex

Penis: synonyms

Literotica partial list: cock, bone, boner, dick, hard-on, hose, joy-machine, knob, lance, lovepole, meat, organ, pecker, penis, phallus, pole, pork sword, prick, rod, root, shaft, stem, tool, weapon, wood, woody, Johnson, John Thomas

Romance list: erection, spear, staff, manhood, member, sex,

HAHAHAHAHA- I wish I knew how to make that rolling laughter face.

You obviously haven't read a romance novel in a while!

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

The available vocabulary will vary depending on how "hot" the sub-genre,

S&S,

That's my "get out of jail free" quote. There's really no single "romance" genre anymore. Virtually every book is marketed in a sub-genre; everything from Harlequin's new Steeple line of "Christian" romances to the "Romantica" novels of Ellora's Cave Publishing.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[lilith1979]

S&S,

That's my "get out of jail free" quote. There's really no single "romance" genre anymore. Virtually every book is marketed in a sub-genre; everything from Harlequin's new Steeple line of "Christian" romances to the "Romantica" novels of Ellora's Cave Publishing.

Rumple Foreskin

Christian romance novels? Oh dear. I can only imagine...

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Christian romance novels? Oh dear. I can only imagine...

Imagine no more . . . visit the Christian Romance thread.

 

[Guest]

Imagine no more . . . visit the Christian Romance thread.

They probably don't enjoy anal sex.

*sigh*

Such a shame.

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

Imagine no more . . . visit the Christian Romance thread.

Damn my anti-authoritarian streak. I now desperately want to submit something to them under this precise nom-de-plume. Oh, I'll include all the God they want, all the embarrassed non-sexual true love bullshit they want, even the euphemisms.

But this pen name.

 

[lilith1979]

Damn my anti-authoritarian streak. I now desperately want to submit something to them under this precise nom-de-plume. Oh, I'll include all the God they want, all the embarrassed non-sexual true love bullshit they want, even the euphemisms.

But this pen name.

I like you! Do it, and share the submission here if you can.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

VB,

Thanks for finding that thread.

LC, go ahead a give it a shot. Just remember, these books are not being put out BY some quasi-religious, Christian-oriented publishing house. They are being published by very secular publishers (Harlequin among others) in the hope of selling TO Christians. To them, the issue of your pen name would be marketing, not morality.

RF