Too much of a good thing?

[Chiara_searches]

As I sit here, taking a break from resume and cover letter writing, I think back about today. Earlier, I was at a coffee shop and thought "I wonder what's happening on Lit." Being in public, positioned so my computer screen was widely visible, and in a coffee shop in the lobby of the building that contains my professional organization's offices, I decided it would be highly inappropriate to look at Lit.

I found it odd that I had the impulse to do so, however.

While I recognize that I am struggling with the depressing reality of having searched for over a year for a permanent job in my actual profession, I had a moment today of being concerned that I turn to Lit for an endorphin rush of some sort when I'm really down about things. Yet, tonight, I'm feeling fairly positive (or as positive as an unemployed person can feel) and still taking my break with you all.

Originally, I came to Lit to learn and to start putting my toe in the water, so to speak. I lurked for a while before becoming a member of the community. Having tested the waters in a non-traditional way (aka online), I'm fortunate to now be at the start of a real life relationship with someone who seems inclined toward my way of thinking (especially proven true last night ).

I also found that when I was busy in July with some temporary work, I missed Lit. The work involved extremely long hours and so I wasn't ever able to log on...but had I had the time, I would have.

But I'm curious. Has anyone ever recognized they are looking at Lit at inappropriate times? Ever had your time on Lit negatively impact your life? What do you do when you realize you're spending too much time here? I'm not sure my time here, now, is to the point that I need a Lit break...but looking back, my time on the boards in March and April was substantially more than I should have spent.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Lol, well I wouldn't say looking at lit is negatively impacting my life but I do find myself checking posts at possibly inappropriate times (although no one's ever around or able to see my screen). Which is interesting since i came here for pretty much the same reason as you as well.

BUT, while I don't know your situation, that's nothing really new for me. I have a tendency to get involved in whatever forum I join (which is why I purposefully don't join many). On one hand, it's drama that's not necessary in day-to-day life and tends to take time. On the other hand, that's how I met my boyfriend, who I love a great deal and am blessed to have found.

Regardless, at least you're not obsessively posting on like...icanhascheezburger or failblog or something

 

[Chiara_searches]

Actually, Lit is the first online forum in which I've regularly participated. Perhaps that impacts the analysis. Thanks for your comments BBE.

 

[Kurokami]

Have I ever checked Lit at innappropriate times? No, but only because the weight of my social anxiety basically makes it physically impossible for me to do so in any place where I might be seen. I mean, it's right there, in my browser, but I find myself unable to click on it unless I'm safely ensconced in my home. And that probably helps a great deal, since I freely recognize that I have a sort of obsessive personality, and that if I didn't give a fuck this could very easily become a problem.

And I will say, I have found it far easier to become heavily involved in this forum, specifically, than in any of the others I'd tried to. I don't know why, exactly, but I don't feel the same anxious fear of being judged here that I did elsewhere, and besides which this place seems to lend itself more to intelligent discussion on some... interesting topics, which is more than I can say for some other forums...

In the end, I suppose I agree with BBE: there are far worse places to be spending your time posting

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Actually, Lit is the first online forum in which I've regularly participated. Perhaps that impacts the analysis. Thanks for your comments BBE.

I can see how it could. I don't see a forum as different than any other community. You make connections with people, develop relationships (of many natures), and want to interact with the people you become friends (or enemies) with. So my standards for "there too often" are along "real life" lines. Like, if I spent ALL DAY in a coffee shop, that'd be strange. If I liked to drop by before and after work, that's totally normal. The standards for "frequency" are a bit different for a forum, though. After all, the conversations aren't happening in real time. Still you get the idea. That degree of interaction. if someone is interacting all the time with everyone...that's obsessive (and probably obnoxious).

That's how I see it, anyways. I certainly wouldn't characterize your posting habits as someone who spends "too much time" here. If your life isn't being negatively impacted, you're probably visiting an okay amount of time

 

[shy slave]

I didn't have net access for a couple of years and missed Lit.

Depends what you call inappropriate times I guess.

I have always been too busy at work to look during work time, plus would never use work lap top for non work stuff as it's an easy way to get fired.

Evenings, I like to come on here and face book, chat to people and relax.

I don't see it so much of a porn site anymore, more a place where friends hang out.

I have made some great friends on Lit and this is a good place to talk to them.

 

[the captians wench]

I didn't have net access for a couple of years and missed Lit.

Depends what you call inappropriate times I guess.

I have always been too busy at work to look during work time, plus would never use work lap top for non work stuff as it's an easy way to get fired.

Evenings, I like to come on here and face book, chat to people and relax.

I don't see it so much of a porn site anymore, more a place where friends hang out.

I have made some great friends on Lit and this is a good place to talk to them.

ditto. Except the company laptop thing. I'm not in a position to have one of those.

 

[shy slave]

ditto. Except the company laptop thing. I'm not in a position to have one of those.

I don't have the lap top anymore either.

I left that and the stress behind

But I would count you as being a close Lit friend, and one day we have to get together.

Perhaps the next time you are heading to see Jounar

 

[the captians wench]

I don't have the lap top anymore either.

I left that and the stress behind

But I would count you as being a close Lit friend, and one day we have to get together.

Perhaps the next time you are heading to see Jounar

Or perhaps we do some ebil subbie plotting and I plan a trip there to visit you, then I can pop in to see Jounar and say "Well I was on you're side of the pond so I figured I might as well stop and blow you" and bat my eyes real sweetly.

ETA: all joking aside, England is on my travel list. Lots of midevial buildings, and I saw that the National Museum (?) or one of those has period clothing all the way back to the Tudor era. Wenchie MUST see!

 

[shy slave]

Or perhaps we do some ebil subbie plotting and I plan a trip there to visit you, then I can pop in to see Jounar and say "Well I was on you're side of the pond so I figured I might as well stop and blow you" and bat my eyes real sweetly.

ETA: all joking aside, England is on my travel list. Lots of midevial buildings, and I saw that the National Museum (?) or one of those has period clothing all the way back to the Tudor era. Wenchie MUST see!

Perfect idea.

You are always welcome here.

I am guessing the museum you mean is the V&A which is in London.

But we have castles and exhibitions further north too.

Just jump on a plane and I will play tour guide for as long as you want

 

[bhndblueyes88]

But we have castles and exhibitions further north too.

Just jump on a plane and I will play tour guide for as long as you want

When I was little we did some touring around the northern part of England with the Big Band Jazz Band my dad was in. It was a lot of fun and there IS plenty to see up there A nice man bought me birthday cakes in Nantwitch ^_^

 

[Chiara_searches]

Just jump on a plane and I will play tour guide for as long as you want

Sometimes I dream of learning the deep, nitty-gritty details of a place and becoming a tour guide. *Big Sigh* I think that'd be a heavenly job. I'm waiting for when I get established in my current home state and can have visitors. This place is also a pretty good place for seeing some sights or sites (depending on what we go see). I'll be studying for their visits so I can pretend I'm a local, even though my visitors (aka family and long time friends) know otherwise.

 

[shy slave]

When I was little we did some touring around the northern part of England with the Big Band Jazz Band my dad was in. It was a lot of fun and there IS plenty to see up there A nice man bought me birthday cakes in Nantwitch ^_^

Sometimes I dream of learning the deep, nitty-gritty details of a place and becoming a tour guide. *Big Sigh* I think that'd be a heavenly job. I'm waiting for when I get established in my current home state and can have visitors. This place is also a pretty good place for seeing some sights or sites (depending on what we go see). I'll be studying for their visits so I can pretend I'm a local, even though my visitors (aka family and long time friends) know otherwise.

I really enjoy having people over.

I played tour guide a bit when ADR was over here, although we spoke a great deal before hand about what she wanted to see.

I live further north now but it is still full of places from the 16/17 Century and many places are easy to get to.

I love the UK, and never get tired of seeing new places, although I loved the US too. I thought Vegas was mad/brilliant/crazy and I would go back in a heart beat.
I imagine if they did a casino dedicated to the medieval times, it would be better than any real stuff we have here lol

An open invite, if you want to visit, I am always happy to see people

Edit to add - BBE I will have to insist on some loud clothing and glitter, even though I don't personally wear it, everyone in the UK does; I think its an arcane law or something.

 

[carsonbizotica]

But I'm curious. Has anyone ever recognized they are looking at Lit at inappropriate times? Ever had your time on Lit negatively impact your life? What do you do when you realize you're spending too much time here? I'm not sure my time here, now, is to the point that I need a Lit break...but looking back, my time on the boards in March and April was substantially more than I should have spent.

I have no idea what you're talking about! <shuts down Lit on his phone and gets back to work>

 

[DVS]

Perfect idea.

You are always welcome here.

I am guessing the museum you mean is the V&A which is in London.

But we have castles and exhibitions further north too.

Just jump on a plane and I will play tour guide for as long as you want

This sounds strangely like a porn story I once read. I'll bet you have the same cute little tour guide outfit, too. Hmmmm, kinky. Y'all be sure and take pictures for the rest of us.

 

[ruby_my_dear]

Funny you should ask

I had a moment today of being concerned that I turn to Lit for an endorphin rush of some sort when I'm really down about things.

Has anyone ever recognized they are looking at Lit at inappropriate times?

I'm going through some pretty heavy stuff right now too and notice that I'm here more often then I thought I would ever be on any kind of website.

Started with reading the stories...then found my favored genre and sought those out, then started looking at the forums, then opened the account, then the PMs (although those are mostly annoying..[del][del]..)

I've been telling myself I keep coming back (and staying up much too late) because I have never found a place with so many clever, articulate people all together but sitting here tonight with a huge grin makes me think there might very well be some adreneline endorphin rush thing going on that's letting me hide from the other stuff for a few hours at a time.

I'm glad you posted the question and got me thinking about it a bit more honestly. But I can quit any time...really.

ruby

 

[Chiara_searches]

I'm going through some pretty heavy stuff right now too and notice that I'm here more often then I thought I would ever be on any kind of website.

Welcome to Lit Ruby!

Hang in there. I've gone through a lot in the last two years and still feel glad to be alive and have my health. It's a cliche' but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I'm glad you posted the question and got me thinking about it a bit more honestly. But I can quit any time...really.

ruby

Thanks for replying to the post. It helps me analyze (or over analyze as my case may be) my reactions and thought processes when others share.

 

[HottieMama]

This place in my sanity saver, especially in the mornings. I am babysitting a friend's daughter and she is a complete holy terror who is NEVER quiet. Add to that my own 4 yr old and 2 yr old, ans it's enough to drive me completely crazy. I turned off av's, sigs, and pics and I pop in throughout the morning when I need a break.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I don't find I have had a moment where I have had "too much", but this place is a very VERY good thing for me. I will admit that there have been many moments when I was reading posts here and then found transitioning back into my real world by putting my phone back in my pocket left a "up to no good" smile on my face I was unable to explain to the people around me more than once.

 

[TarevaChine]

I don't check Lit while at work. My thoughts may wander to Lit, but I will never use company resources for personal reasons. Now that I have my iPad, I may have to hit McDonald's on lunch time to see what it is going on here.

 

[Chiara_searches]

My thought today: IMHO, I am more closely my truest self when looking at Lit or posting. I'm starting to think I have the impulse to come hang out here when I'm doing things where you would normally filter a part of yourself out, if that makes any sense. During the work day (well, the looking for work day), I'm writing cover letters to "sell my attributes" to an employer and that's just not my normal M.O. A Lit break every now and then helps me feel like there is a space in my life where I don't have to put up pretenses.

And just connected a dot...maybe...I have very little to zero inclination to look at Lit when I'm hanging out with the boyfriend, even on days when we aren't being sexually active (which, okay, aren't many). I hope that's a good sign that I'm moving toward being my truest self with him, too.